Heart beats fast?

Eric.

I can never explain why my heart beats fast every time I hear his name.

I saw him every morning. Fooling around with his friends. Laughing heartfully.

His smile was like the brightest color of a rainbow. He was not my friend. We barely even talked. But he would smile every time he passed by me. His angelic that made my heart flutter every time.

It was obvious that I had a crush on him. But being a boy myself and him not showing even 1% of signs that he liked boys made me stay as far away from him as possible. Because I know he would befriend me if I tried.

And being "just a friend" would bring me pain. How? Because once I get closer to him I would blurt out "I like you" to him. And I didn't want that.

Not with his homophobic as hell friends with him.

It was a rainy Wednesday morning. The weather was beautiful to look at. Little drops of rain making the most pleasing sound every time they fell on the ground. It was a day off at school for winter break. The season I loved the most. I was in my room. Covered in warm clothes and my favorite red socks.

I was dreamily looking out the window listening to begin again by Taylor swift when my phone dinged.

"eric_theninjaboy has requested to follow you" was displayed on my phone.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw that notification. I was too anxious to respond in any way.

After a good 1 minute of breathing heavily, I put my phone down and crawled away from it to the other side of the room.

To say I was surprised would be an understatement. I was panicking. "it's just a follow request. It means nothing" I kept repeating to myself. I was in the middle of calming down when my phone dinged again. "eric_theninjaboy liked your pic" it showed again.

This time I did not panic, but I was nervous to touch my phone. My hands went cold. Something that happened when I was nervous, anxious, or scared.

"Why am I acting like a female lead from a Korean drama?" I questioned myself. But then I panicked again.

"okay maybe I am a female lead from a Korean drama," I said to myself. After a good 5 minutes of Being a nervous wreck and panicking, I crawled back to the other side and picked up my phone.

Eric_theninjaboy: hey!

After seeing a message from my crush, I passed out.

When I woke up, I was lying on the window with half of my body hanging outside.

My phone kept dinging and scurried away from it as if it was possessed. When in reality it looks like I am the one who is possessed.

I bravely decided to pick up my phone after a good 5 minutes.

"3 messages from eric_theninjaboy was displayed on my screen."

"eric_theninjaboy: hello?"

Eric_theninjaboy: knock knock?

Eric_theninjaboy: you there? :(

My hands were sweaty as I held my phone and inspected the messages.

It had been 7 minutes since he had sent those messages.

I felt bad for leaving him on read, but my clueless self did not know how to respond. I didn't want to type out something weird.

"Okay Simon, breathe in and breath out. It's gonna be fine. It's just a text." I gave myself a pep talk before nervously replying.

"simon_strawberry: hello 12 (don't judge my username I love strawberries)

I quickly exited the chat and kept my phone down staring at it. "I'm acting like a high schooler" I sighed.

"eric_theninjaboy: how are you? Simon, right?"

*how to breathe YouTube tutorial*

Deep breaths Simon, remember.

Simon_strawberry: I'm good. How are you? Eric from science, right?

*I wish we had chemistry together*

Eric_theninjaboy: I'm great! And yes, Eric Maloney from science.

*future Mr. Simon Maloney*

"shut up mind"

Eric_theninjaboy: uh, if you don't mind may I ask you something?

*oh, no is he going to ask for my hand in marriage???*

"I'm ready"

"okay I should seriously stop"

Simon_strawberry: yeah sure.

I love how I am trying to appear cool.

Eric_theninjaboy: do you go to nick's dance class?

Oh god. How does he know about this?

Simon_strawberry: yes. I teach there. why do you ask?

Maybe he wants to join too. Wonder how would that be. I sighed dreamily imagining eric dancing.

Eric_theninjaboy: uh..... I was wondering if you could teach me how to dance?

Nononononononono.

Keep wondering I can't teach you. I would combust!!!!!!!!!!!

Why was he asking me out of all people? Is this some kind of prank?

I was panicking when he sent me another message.

Eric_theninjaboy: please??

Eric_theninjaboy: my friends enrolled my name into this stupid annual Christmas event without telling me.

"yeah you're friends are basically dickheads." I whispered before I replied.

Simon_strawberry: I'm sorry I can't teach you. I have the stuff to do.

Eric_theninjaboy: stuff? Like?

*imagining my married life with you*

Simon_strawberry: like holiday projects. Also, why don't you join nick's class? He'll teach you. I can talk to him for you.

At this point I was desperate.

Eric_theninjaboy: I have reasons I can't go there. Please teach me.

Eric_theninjaboy: I'll not waste your time. Just one hour every day.

Eric_thenijaboy: pleaseeeeeeeee I beg you

I felt bad watching him beg. But could I really teach him? I've never even talked to him directly.

Simon_strawberry: okay. Fine. One hour every day.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Eric_theninjaboy: thankyou soooo muchhhhhh Simon

I took a deep breath and slumped back.

Simon_strawberry: you're welcome.

Eric_theninjaboy: cute nickname by the way.

Simon_strawberry: don't judge. Strawberries are amazing.

Eric_theninjaboy: that's cute.

Simon_strawberry: I gotta go now. It was nice talking to you. Bye.

Eric_theninjaboy: bye strawberry. See you.

I cut the conversation because it was too much for me. His calling me cute didn't help.

I am panicking every time he sends a text. God, I wonder how it will be to talk to him face to face let alone teach him.

2 days went by and eric texted Simon asking for his address. Simon shakily pressed sent as he sent the details of his location.

Eric_theninjaboy: will be there by 5 strawberrY!!!

Oh my god, he's gonna be here today.

And why does he keep calling me strawberry.

I took a shower and dressed up in a black jumper and joggers.

I fixed the house making it look presentable. Wow, I'm acting as if my husband is coming home from the army.

I called my best friend Stefy to let her know that eric was coming over. She was the only one who knew about my crush on eric.

Stefy is my best friend. We have been friends since high school. We are basically soulmates. We know everything about each other. She was the one who took me in when my parents kicked me out because I'm gay.

She supported me to let me stay with her. After getting into college, I started working at nick's and moved out.

She was teasing me throughout the phone call when I told her eric was coming over.

I sat on the sofa and scrolled through my phone when the doorbell rang.

I was not ready for this. My hands were already sweaty and my heart was beating very fast. I sat there frozen until the doorbell rang again.

I got up and walked towards the doorbell taking steady steps.

When I opened the door, I saw God.