Lost Passage: Niko

When I was young, I always get into trouble. Having fights with neighbors of my age happens almost every week. Even though I was a troublesome boy, my mother never beat me up as usual mothers do. She only told me to keep myself away from trouble. Every time that the parents with whom I fought come over to our house, she apologizes to them and tells them that she will teach me a lesson. But she never did. Why? Because she knows I'm telling the truth. I didn't start any of those fights. It just so happen that I always got the upper hand. Thanks to taekwondo lessons that I had, I learned to defend myself.

When I entered high school, nothing had changed. I'm every teacher's nightmare. As punishment, I spent time outside our classroom, standing and trying to reflect like what my teachers asked me to do. I remember there was someone from another class that always walked by me whenever I got to stand outside our room but he never said anything to me he just kept on walking while taking glances at me. At first, I thought he's ignoring me but then, deep down, he's laughing and looking down at me like other students do. Not until one time, he stopped in front of me and gave me a candy. He's a nice person. That's the first time someone showed compassion towards me and it felt great.

One day, after class, I was on my way home when I heard a crashing sound from an alley. I went and took a look and I saw a boy being held up by his shirt. I heard the bullies blaming him for telling their teacher about the cheat sheet they made for their exam. There were four bullies taking turns beating him up. He received all their punches but he never fought back. He didn't even try.

I can't just watch them. It's infuriating. I can't stand it anymore. I took a glance at the boy and he happened to look at me. He's the same boy from the other class. The next thing I remember, I was already in front of the bullies defending him. I didn't know why but for some reason I also didn't throw punches back. I let them beat me up instead of him. Good thing, there was an elderly who saw us and the bullies ran away. Ever since that day, Kristofer and I became friends. I learned that he got no friends aside from his girl classmate so I presented myself as another one.

I got to meet his other friend, her name is Jenna. She is very cheerful and naive. I always tried to tease her because her sulky face is somehow funny for me.

That's how, the three of us, became friends. We became closer and closer as the days go by. They always check on me when they're free. We hang out after class at an ice cream store near our school. We even see each other during weekends for some arcade. Our friendship grew a lot throughout the years until our senior year. We still did a lot of stuff together but things went a sudden turn when I was told I might fail some of my subjects and if I didn't pass the final exams, I may not graduate.

I told my friends about it and Kris volunteered to tutor me. Every day, after class, he will go with me to our house and help me with the subjects I'm struggling with. My mother was glad that I began to take my studies seriously. She always brings us home-made muffins. Her muffins and cupcakes are the best until now.

We spend a few hours together, every day, teaching me. And within all those times, I learned more about him. He's so caring and kind. I don't know why but back then I found him cute. If only he was a girl.

Exams day had passed and we were all waiting for the results. The school admin already posted the names of those who passed. As expected, Kristofer, got into the top ten. Jenna was in the middle of the list. I'm losing hope when I'm halfway down until I saw my name. I wanted to jump, finally, I made it. I went my way to see Luke to thank him for everything he did for me. I told him the news and he was so happy that he hugged me out of the blue. That time, I felt something inside of me. I felt my face getting warm. It's confusing. Why did I feel that way?

I kept it inside myself because I'm not really sure what it was. Then we graduated and we all went to the same university under the same course. We got to see each other every day like we used to. Kristofer was a very smart person and a cute one I should say. I stayed by his side all the time trying to figure out what the hell was happening to me. I know I'm straight but there's something about him caught my attention and it's driving me crazy every night. Do I like him? Do I see him more than a friend to me? All along I had those thoughts in my head but it all went away went I met Miya.

She was a cheerleader at our university. The first time I saw her, my heart couldn't stop beating so fast. That's when I confirmed that I'm straight as a ruler. I wanted her to notice me but I don't know how. Kristofer noticed that I've been stealing glances at her so he offered to help me get a date with her. I didn't know how he did it but he managed to get Miya's number. He said he will try his best to make her fall for me and so he did. Miya agreed to be my boyfriend and I've never been happy. Kristofer has been such a great friend. I thought I  already forgot what I felt for him before but I was wrong. I guess that's the reason why I walked out and ran away.

On Kristofer's birthday, he made an announcement, Luke is officially his boyfriend. Everyone was happy, cheering for them. But somewhere deep down told me what if it was me. Will everyone be happy as there are right now?

I kept my distance away from Kris for a few days to carefully think about what just happened within me. Why did the feeling that I locked away a long time ago suddenly got out of its chest? It confuses me every time I tried to find answers. The one who had been there for me, comforting me, was my girlfriend, Miya. I just loved her so much. Then I thought all along I knew what I want, who I wanted to be with, it's her.

To take a break I logged in on my online game account and to my dismay, I kept losing the game over and over again. Then I got surprised to see Kristofer inside my room. I tried to make him go away. I'm still embarrassed with the way I acted on his birthday, I made a fuss.

He began to talk about how I saved and protected him when we were young. He explained himself to make me understand. When he mentioned Luke, I didn't feel the same way as I did and I'm happy about it. I apologized to him and we got things settled. We're back to normal again.

After hours of bonding over my mother's muffin. Jenna and Kristofer decided to go home and I waved goodbye to them as they went their way. I went back to my room and I took notice of our photo. I'm happy that I got these two as my friends especially Kristofer. I picked up the frame and looked at its backside. I just smiled as I saw the candy wrapper that I taped behind it a long time ago.

"I'm glad to be your friend... Bro..."

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