Chapter Three

I opened the door to Doctor Adam's cardiology room and slammed it shut after entering. I forcefully ripped out my lab gown, gloves, coat and green under covers from my shoes. I tore my surgical mask and threw my face shield on the perfectly white and clean floor.

I'm tired,overworked, drained and just stressed with everything that's going on. All I want to do is sleep, on my own bed and not at this American hospital. The rate of infection was only increasing and I couldn't help but start to fall into a state of depression. I grabbed the sanitiser from his desk and spray the couch before instantly falling on it and positioning myself to sleep.

The door opens and Dr Adam walks in.

" Well look who's asleep without asking permission " - he sternly said

I slightly open one eye and peak at him from the side of the couch. He catches me awake and chuckled.

" Did you sanitise the couch before jumping on without any mask or gloves ... Or any sort of protection for that matter? " - he asked concerned

" Yes I did " - I yawned as I buried my face deeper into the edge of the couch

" I'm tired, we're running low on covid test kits. We have to personally make a choice of who deserves a ventilator !!!!!!! There isn't enough for everyone, we have to make a choice who deserves a chance to live and who has had enough living. All my years of studying and practising medicine, I made pledge to do whatever I can to save a life and here I have to make a choice " Dr Adam sighed with deep worry and concern in his eyes.

He took a seat on the couch beside me and held his head in distress. This really is the most stressful time in his career. His performed hundreds of surgery's and has lost many patients throughout his life, calling out the time of death has always been something he dreaded to do and since the end of 2019, his called out more in a day then his done in his whole career combined.

I could tell that his stressed. There was very limited amounts of equipment available at the hospital because of the tremendous amount of positive covid patients. He had to make a choice between a 49 year old man, who was also his first ever patient that he'd done surgery on and a 27 year old lady who his never treated before.

I pick myself up and drag down his head to lay on my thighs as I gently played with his soft, wavy dark brown hair

" I know this is difficult for you... But the longer you take to decide the more critical both patients could get " - I explained

" I don't want to do this, I want to do everything I can to get them both a ventilator " - he said in a weak emotional voice

Since there was not enough equipment for everyone, the rule was that the ventilators should be given to those that were younger and had a greater chance of survival.

" I can't leave him to die, I won't be able to forgive myself. Might be hard to believe but I'm emotionally attached to this patient " - he continued

It wasn't hard to believe. Every doctor, although many don't admit it, have a favourite patient. Mine was Dean, he was still a kid when I first met him. It was the day that I found out that James was actually the head of cardiology, he was my first patient in the paediatrics ward, he had a heart disease and therefore the need for Dr Adam's consult. Over the years, he grew on me. He visited the hospital regularly for medication and treatment, he even came out gay for the first time at this hospital. He was the reason I chose paediatrics because he gave me reason to believe that I belonged there. It's the same with Dr Adam's patient, I know that his played a big role in influencing his choice in cardiology too.

" Then give him the ventilator, you have the most say at this hospital. Who's going to tell you that you can't? " - I asked confidently

He sat up and smiled with a slightly brighter face of relief.

" Thank you " - he said putting his surgical mask back on before waking up and heading towards the door.

" Glad I could help " - I shout

Staring into nothing, I realise that I should get back out and continue to treat covid patients and update myself of any new and important information that has been discovered about the pandemic. I dragged myself off the couch to reach for a new mask, a pair of gloves and my face shield.

I strolled down then hallway before stopping at the room that Dr Adam was in. I watched as he connected the ventilator and began to attach it to this patient. He seemed alot more relieved and even sent a wink in my direction.

" Dr Stewart!! " - one of the interns shouted in panic, calling out to me from the end of the hallway

I suddenly look up at her concerned

" I need your help, please. I've been looking for you, it's one of the children. It's Ethan " - she continued to scream from across

Ethan is a 7 year old patient that was admitted for a a minor asthma attack that he had at school. It wasn't serious but i decided to keep him in hospital for just a day to observe him and run some tests. He was to be discharged earlier today because there was no need to keep him any longer.

" Whats wrong with Ethan? " I run across to his room

" His tests came back and his positive for covid, he has asthma Dr Stewart, this isn't good " - she states

" Get me oxygen and a ventilator RIGHT NOW! " - I suddenly demand as fear filled my mind.

Ethan suffers with asthma which made him a high risk for the virus and would only cause more complications in his lungs. The tightening in his chest could result in failure to breathe properly and could possibly lead to death.

" Dr Stewart, there's no more ventilators available " - she informed me in panic

I know what I'm about to do might cause an argument or create an enemy for myself but Ethan most definitely needed this more then a man that's lived 40 years longer then he has.

" Get it from Dr Adam NOW " - I demanded

She looked at me afraid and refused to leave

" I said NOW! Our patient is more critical and in need. If you cannot be firm with him then I'll go by myself " - I said to her