43 43 Flame
The Little Match Girl was cold. She was so cold that she slowly turned into an icicle. She had only a few matches to warm herself, whose faint flame gave the illusion of warmth only for a few moments, too short to give hope.
This cold did not come only from the snow and frost, on which the poor child had to stand, mute begging for help. Or perhaps the girl no longer had the strength to beg, not at that moment, when the last match went out?
Human indifference was the greatest coldness. Hundreds, maybe thousands of people passed her by completely ignoring the child who was dying of loneliness, cold and hunger on the street. Why should they pay attention to her? Why should they spoil the joyful mood of Christmas by looking at a dirty, emaciated beggar? It was easier to look away and pretend not to see her.
Some might say that those were the times. Back then, everyone was poor and couldn't afford to help a lonely, neglected child. Now the world was much more developed and people were much more compassionate. Now people were filled with a spirit of humanity.
And yet, the naked lonely boy standing in the snow, in the cold, just before Christmas, was a memory not of a previous era, but only of several years ago.
Although this boy in fact was difficult to see. He was not standing on the main street and smiling desperately at passers-by begging for help. This boy stood in front of his mother's house having neither the strength to beg, nor the hope that anyone would hear him.
This boy's little heart was already frozen, turned into a small ice boulder.
It was not the winter with its December cold and icy wind that froze him, but the coldness of the people surrounding the boy.
The teachers at his school did not see, or pretended not to see, his sad eyes and the bruises on his body. They didn't see that his body was a tad too frail for his age, and that his apathetic behavior was a clear sign that something bad was clearly going on in his life. Because if the teachers had seen it, they would have had to report the matter to the board of education, to the police, and somehow deal with a child who needed special care at that moment. It was easier not to see...
The neighbors quickened their steps when they heard screams and the sound of breaking glass coming from the boy's house, pretending to hear a movie, on the television. If they admitted to hearing, they would have to react and maybe notify the police or social services, and after all, that took time, and besides, they preferred to keep their noses out of others people business and just not hear....
And supposedly this was the world and age of humanitarian people.
Only one little girl in red hat and pink winter jacket and her parents finally noticed the boy. They noticed him and reacted. They gave him a flame greater than that given by matches. They gave him care and love.
They gave him hope.
But the flame they lit did not encompass the entire heart of the boy. There were still places in him that were cold and dead.
Places that were waiting to be lit by someone else.
Someone very special.
Someone as special as...
***
The air was torn by a sudden, terrifyingly loud thunder and the young actor jumped in surprise. This sobered him up almost completely.
Brylski looked around vigorously, trying to hide the state of confusion in which he found himself. He saw that a few steps further on, through a large hole in the roof, it was raining inside. He ran up to it and put his hand under the heavy rain.
“What are you...?” Damian tried to stop him.
“This is the purest distilled water” Rafał answered with an innocent smile. Normality! He has to be completely back to normal! “I bet you don't have anything better on you.”
“You're right, I don't” agreed Radosz with resignation.
The expression on his face was quite charming at that moment, Brylski said, feeling his heart beating a little harder again and something moved in his pants...
Shocked, blushing, Rafal suddenly felt short of breath. He got so hot that he felt like the soaked T-shirt he was wearing was suddenly starting to evaporate.
Being asexual didn't mean one didn't feel arousal. It just meant you didn't feel it towards anyone in particular. Rafał felt arousal watching erotic scenes and even when someone told really fucking jokes. Sometimes he got turned on by a situation, like now, and even felt the need for fulfillment, he just didn't feel the need for fulfillment with someone specific or just someone. That's why he didn't feel arousal from Damian himself right now, because after all, it was impossible...
Something twitched painfully inside Rafał. His hand held under the stream of water dropped. Damian looked at him with serious eyes and Rafał felt as if someone had placed a boulder on his chest.
“You hurt yourself for me” Radosz said with a helpless, extremely beautiful expression on his face. “Thank you.”
Simple words, simple situation.
An old red brick factory, abandoned, dilapidated, lonely.
Outside the dirty windows a storm and a whirlwind raged as if tomorrow would never come.
Confusion in Rafał's head.
In Rafał's heart... The hitherto dead regions of ice were beginning to melt and turn to flame....
“Rafael, are you all right?” Radosz was worried and moved a little closer. “Why are there tears in your eyes?”
Brylski could not answer. He looked at Damian and for the first time in his life he felt physically attracted to him.
For the first time in his life, Rafał was aroused because of the closeness of a particular person and it was because of a man!
Just an hour earlier Brylki would have been grateful to feel something towards anyone, even a man, but now that his body had really reacted, Rafał stood horrified by the situation.
His heart, his mind, his penis twitched, but they probably chose the worst way they could!
Damian wasn't gay so Rafał couldn’t ask him to experiment. He was an ordinary, perfectly normal man.
On top of that Radosz was his boss, so even if, by some miracle, he felt like trying something new, their business relationship didn't allow it.
So the first chance in his life, maybe the only one, to feel the taste of sex where he really felt something, was lost for him before it could really happen.
“I'm sorry," Rafał said, wiping away his tears. “My eyes sometimes react like that. It's not exactly an allergy. It's something like conjunctival hypersensitivity.”
“Are you sure?” Radosz made sure by coming a little closer.
TOO CLOSE! shouted Rafał's whole body, his whole heart and his whole mind.
How could it happen that out of nothing, without any romantic scene, Rafał's body was awakened by desire for a man? Toward THAT man?
‘I want to kiss him!’ thought Rafał desperately. ‘I want to kiss him! For the first time in my life I want to kiss someone... but I can't... I…Oh God!’
“ Rafał, you're really pale and you have a flush on your face," Radosz was seriously concerned. “Maybe because of this rain you are starting to get a cold? It's gotten chilly and you're soaked...”
Damian was worried about Rafał! It was... it was...
“Sorry” groaned Brylski. He didn't lose because he didn't fight. He just gave in because he was too weak to fight. “I really have to...”
He took Damian's face in his hands and pressed his lips to his mouth…
