38 38 His Shameful Secret

Ok, Rafał took the first step, he said it, but he didn't hear laughter. Not yet. But the first piece of information was not that shocking either.

Damian Radosz was not a professional filmmaker, but he must have guessed that it is not easy to find the right romantic emotions when dozens of people from the film crew look at you. The kiss was something intimate, so if someone was not an experienced actor, they may have a problem with it.

Many actors have the same problem, but everything passes over time.

“You have nothing to worry about. As you get more experience on set, you'll be kissing like a pro. All you need to do is feel comfortable enough to bring up your emotions and real-life experiences.”

So Radosz thought exactly as Rafał had predicted. He approached the matter in terms of a filmmaker. He assumed that the only problem with Brylski was his lack of experience on the set.

But in the case of Rafał it was not the point at all!

"It won't be that easy," the young actor shook his head. “Because you see... This is where the problem lies that I... I have no such experience. I've never kissed any woman...”

Okay, he said it, he took it a step further! He wasn't there yet, hadn't reviled everything, but he was about halfway there. Maybe even two-thirds...

Damian tried to understand what he had just heard. Looking at his face, Brylski imagined what he was thinking at that moment. ‘Rafał has never kissed any woman? This twenty-five-year-old man has never kissed any woman...? Could there be such a loser?’

No, the last question was not in the eyes of Radosz. His last question was completely different.

“Are you gay?” The question popped out of Damian's lips so suddenly that it must have surprised him. “Sorry, I shouldn't ask, it's too personal...”

Rafał thought that he would even like to be gay. A man or a woman, what's the difference, just to feel something, anything, for that other person. If the other person was someone like Radosz, why not? Brylski could become gay. However, the problem was more serious.

The actor smiled gently and shook his head.

Now he will tell the truth. Now he will reveal his secret, about which he told only two people - Anita, who was like a real sister to him, and Tomek, whom he considered a friend.

Rafał took a deep breath. It would happen. Right now he will tell Radosz the truth...

"No," he announced. - I…”

***

Keyboard Warrior 00880 looked at the private message he received via social media with his eyes wide open. His eyes were so wide open with surprise and excitement because someone from Rafal Brylski's old friends had finally replied.

Someone who not only went to one class with Brylski, but was also his friend.

The little heart of the Keyboard Warrior 00880 was beating merrily, as if it was getting married to its beloved idol, or... going to bed with him.

So far, everyone to whom Keyboard Warrior 00880 asked for information about Brylski, either said only good things about him, totally ignored him, or told him to fuck off. Tomo_007 was the first to understand perfectly that Brylski was not pure gold but a plaster statue covered in gold paint.

‘I have information that will interest you. Rafal Brylski is not what others take him to be. He hides a shameful secret that will make him a laughing stock. You can understand for yourself how valuable this secret is.’

Keyboard Warrior 00880 felt his heart bursting with joy. He was so happy, so very happy that he could cry with happiness.

Finally! Finally! FINALLY!!! After so many weeks of knocking from door to door, someone finally decided to talk about Brylski! To tell the truth, not these frosted platitudes. The truth, the whole truth about how fake and how hypocritical Rafal Brylski is. It looked like this amateur's former friend had something really interesting to say!

Rafal Brylski is hiding an embarrassing secret!

Damn, could we have hoped for anything better?

Keyboard Warrior 00880 instantly responded to the message sent to him.

Although Keyboard Warrior 00880 wasn't a millionaire, he wasn't even rich, but by writing malicious and lying comments about artists, he received a certain salary that he saved just for such a circumstance. And if that's not enough, he and the president of the fan club will organize a fundraiser to buy a gift for their beloved idol. After all, none of the ordinary fans will even think about checking whether the amount spent on the gift agrees with the amount they collected during the fundraiser. If anyone even asks, it will be explained to them that the remaining funds were donated to the fan club's operating purposes. This, by the way, will be one hundred percent true.

This embarrassing secret of Brylski's was certainly worth any price!

***

Rafal Brylski took a deep breath. It would happen. Right now he would tell Radosz the truth...

“No," he said. “I...”

Rafal stopped as if he was out of breath. It was so hard to get the words out... The longer you hide a secret, the deeper you bury it in your heart, the harder it is to reveal it to anyone, especially to someone you like. Especially if the secret was shameful, painful and... made Rafał Brylski feel worse in his own eyes than others.

Damian Radosz looked at Rafał with curiosity. It was not the look of a vulture waiting for a man dying of thirst. It was a simple, natural curiosity arising from the conversation. Maybe Radosz didn't have a hyena in his heart? Or maybe he had one after all....

Brylski knew people in whose hearts hyenas and vultures lived. They waited for another man's weakness, for something they could use against him, sometimes for their own benefit, and sometimes, just like that, to improve their image of themselves. If someone is inferior, flawed and weak, then I am better than him...

Rafał had seen this in many people. He saw the scavenger hunt coming out of the heart of a seemingly normal person. He saw it clearly and was afraid to tell the truth even now, when it was enough to end the statement with one word. He was afraid that Damian also had a hyena or vulture in him and would laugh just like Tomek, whom Rafał considered a friend.

But Brylski was already determined. No one can build a friendship on lies and secrets. If Rafal even hopes for Damian's friendship, he must muse. Either Radosz would accept the truth or he wouldn't.

"No," Rafal explained quietly, blushing. He tried to be calm, but embarrassment and fear made his voice tremble. "I... I feel no attraction to either women or men. I am asexual."

***

Rafał waited for the burst of laughter. He waited for the outburst of derision he so feared. He waited and waited and... nothing came.

Instead, a strong wind broke and moved the branches of the trees, causing the leaves to rustle loudly. The evening sky, sweeping across almost the entire horizon, was torn by lightning. Rafał lifted his gaze and saw that Damian's eyes were not looking at him with contempt or amusement. They were the normal, ordinary eyes of a man, not a hyena.

"Now I understand why you were so nervous during today's scene," Radosz stated matter-of-factly. "According to the script, you prepared for a romantic scene, and Różycki suddenly started demanding that you be erotic. Does Różycki know?"

Was Damian reading his mind? How did he know it was just that?

"No, I didn't tell him. I didn't think I should…"

Maybe he should have told him? After all, he's the director of the show he's starring in.