1 In My Fathers Hands

TW: Language

"Life sucks!" I shouted. I heard my voice echo for a while, then everything went back to silence.

Life must really be unfair. I didn't want to be here, in this world, and yet I carry every shit with me. I wanted to release my anger. I've kept this anger for a long time. I keep cursing and ranting until I feel better.

I'm currently in the woods near our house. Well, I live far away from the city. But living here isn't actually that bad. The only thing that makes it bad is my father. Well, he is sort of an asshole. He abused me physically and mentally. I never wanted to be born in the first place. But he keeps telling me that I shouldn't have been born and that I'm wicked.

My mother died because of me. She died shortly after I was born, so I can't really defend myself. Sometimes I blame myself too. I can't really defend myself. Maybe because it's true, I did killed her.

Well, I ended up here in the woods because my father chased me. He kept asking why I wasn't home late at night. Well, I do have work, but he shouldn't know. He'd steal my salary if I told him. I'm working hard for it so I can use it to attend the university, so no matter what happens, I won't tell him.

I work as a part-time employee in a convenience store nearby. I love selling products. It gives me joy to see people buy from me. I really hope one day I'll become a successful business owner.

Well, for now, I need to hurry and go to work. I may have lost myself here in the woods. I need to find a way out of here and go to the convenience store ASAP, or else I'll get fired. My boss is a big jerk sometimes. One minute late, and you're fired.

It took me five minutes to get out of the woods. I took a peek out the window, and my boss is here. I need to find my way in without getting caught. Well, it could be easy. He's busy laughing with a woman his age.

I went inside and slowly hid behind the table. But something caught my attention. He grabbed his phone angrily, and he put his phone in his ear.

Is it me? I don't have my phone with me.

I panicked and lost my balance, which made the table fall.

He glanced at me and sighed. "SUNNY! Where the have you been? You're late, AGAIN! It's not like you're studying to be late for work. All you do is fool around and make everyone's life a living hell."

There he is again, spitting nonsense. But I don't really give a fuck about everything he says. He's one of my so-called haters due to the fact that I'm always late, and his daughter is my academic rival. He'll threaten me that he'll fire me. Well, he did actually fire me once.

My boss hates me as much as my father does. Well, her daughter got suspended and lost her academic excellence because of me. Well, she bullied me, and the teacher saw her.

Then my boss fired me, but his daughter told him to rehire me, and they made me work three times harder. But it's really okay because I needed the money. even if it's unfair. Well, life is really unfair.

I do have a friend. Her name is Nyx. Everyone loves her because she's very pretty. I love her too, but sometimes jealousy makes me feel like she isn't my friend. I felt like she befriended me out of pity. So I can't really open up to her, especially about my family problems.

And sometimes I felt like she might be using me to gain the upper hand so they could manipulate me like the others did. It's really hard to trust someone, especially when she or he is very different from you.

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I was walking down the corridor when Nyx shouted my name. Everyone gave me a stare. a deadly stare, as if I had done something to Nyx that made her want to be friends with me. I actually never wanted this attention. The more attention I have, the more chaos will follow.

"How have you been, Sun?" "You didn't pick up my call last night," she uttered.

I never knew who called me last night. Well, my phone died. not from a low battery, but it really died. My father crushed it to death after seeing my phone.

"You bitch! How dare you buy this kind of junk? Where did you even get the money? Did you steal it again? How dare you? "You don't deserve any of this; you don't deserve anything!"

Remembering those words makes me ill. I don't know why my father hates me so much. I get it; he's drunk, but as the days pass, it gets worse and worse.

My father used to be a well-known engineer in our town. How did I know? from my aunt Fleur Canfield, who's a very successful entrepreneur. She pays for my school fees. without my father knowing. She did offer to pay for my university, but I can't let her do that. She also asked me to leave my father and just live with her. But still, he's my father, no matter how many slaps or punches I get. He's still my father.

Nyx stared at me like I'd done something wrong. Both of us are standing in the middle of the school corridor while everyone is staring at us.

She noticed that I felt uncomfortable about the other students' staring, so she pulled me outside the school. "What happened? Are you okay? Tell me, Sun, you can trust me. "I promise"—her words comfort me.

It may be the first time I hear someone asking what happened or asking me if I'm okay.

I looked into her eyes and saw sincerity and sadness. Maybe I was wrong in judging her too early. What if she really wants to be friends with me?

As I stare into her lovely green eyes, I can't help but to cry.

"I'm sorry," I said as I hugged her. "I'm really sorry, Nyx. I judged you easily. "I thought you were trying to be friends with me so you could be one of those manipulators who would use my weakness for their own happiness," she laughed.

"Why would I do that?" "Are you dumb?" I nod, and we both laugh.

"So what happened?" And I ended up telling her everything. about my father, my bruises, and my job.

She was devastated by what I told her. And because of that, we ended up cutting.

We spent the day at the public market. She told me she'd pay up, so I didn't need to worry about a single penny. It makes me feel shy and guilty, of course.

I got out of a dressing room, and my eye landed on Nyx. She's wearing a crop top and fitted jeans. She has small, pretty green eyes, a perfect nose, straight blonde hair, and a slim face. She's really pretty; she's almost perfect.

I remembered my mother; we both had big blue eyes, heart-shaped lips, and curly pinkish-brown hair. My aunt told me I look just like her when she was young.

We bought everything: crop tops, makeup, and I bought myself a new phone with the savings I have.

Nyx told me to stop wearing those soon-to-be rug clothes of mine. Well, I got it from a donation when I was little. A huge storm broke through our home, and they gave us clothes that I wear to school.

We both watched the sun go down, and we rushed over to the convenience store.

"Do you want to eat something?" Don't worry, it's on me. "But I'm sorry I don't get to treat you to a nice meal," I told her, and she laughed.

"Are you really that dumb?" "There's no need to, but that ramen would work," she uttered while pouting at me. We both laughed. I can say this is one of the best days of my life. I have someone who is there for me and makes me feel loved.

Nyx left early because her father kept calling her. And me? I need to go to a bookstore nearby. My grades are falling. I need to graduate from high school, at least.

As I walked near the bookshop, I saw my father shouting. holding a beer; of course he always drinks. It's his water.

"Fuck you! "All of you!" He kept shouting his ass out like a crazy man who escaped from a psycho ward.

I hid somewhere near the bookstore where the trash bins are. I walked backwards and suddenly stepped on someone's toe.

"Fuck" A loud curse from behind made me shiver. His voice is kind of familiar, though.

I faced him to apologize, but I was shocked when I saw who it was.

"Wtf, Sun?" I covered his mouth.

It was Atlas Woodson, the basketball captain at our school.