3 Drip is Fo'eva!

"I'm not an envious sort. I'll take your stuff, but that's just the way life is. It ain't fair, and that's the way I like it." I stated as my boys and I looked down at a felled Marauder Tribe captain on a crisp Nurn morning, "But these guys stuffed six and a half feet of steaming shrahk into a gold and silver suit of armor while I'm having to ration my iron. Their rubbin their wealth right in my face. Well I got the scent boys. I say we follow it and find his friends, take their swag too."

"Sounds sweet, boss." my second in command Burzronk the Sweet smiled.

"Grishluk, you and your boys drag this lot back to camp and take all their loot before chucking them to the caragors. The rest of you mount up, we got flash to steal!" I shouted at the Singer.

I pulled myself up into the saddle of my armored caragor, the beast bedecked in scales of boiled troll hide, and burst into a gallop while my boys whooped in joy behind me. Using my powerful nose I followed the trail of the goon we bushwhacked earlier and found signs of a pair of scuffles before finding his base camp.

We rested the caragors till the sun went down while I climbed a nearby tree to look down into the camp. I spotted three more of the Marauder captains bedecked in their gilded armor, and took notice of several warchests filled with silver and purple gemstones.

The Marauder Tribe were basically a pack of magpies if magpies were on average north of two hundred thirty pounds and ugly as sin. They horded wealth, even the least members of the tribe bearing a few bracelets or necklaces, and the big shots bedecking themselves head to toe in enough bling to make Lil Wayne turn green.

When darkness fell, I mounted my fresh and noble steed and gave the signal for us to charge through the camp. Like many temporary locations, the uruks here had opted for laziness with their defenses, posting a minimum guard and just relying on their natural toughness and willingness to throw down any time rather than on basic fortifications and disciplined lookouts.

They paid for it when my spear took the first lookout through the lungs from farther away than an elven bowshot and my boys handed me their spears to take out the rest on this side of their encampment.

With their howlers and hornblowers bleeding out, the uruks didn't rally any kind of defense until the padded sound of our charging caragors hit their ears. My chopper only hit flesh twice during the charge, but the weight of our mounts and their clawed feet passing over them had reduced the Marauder's to just a couple of handfuls of too tough or too lucky bastards.

They ran, but caragors can turn on a dime, making our turn about lethally quick and the boys ran them down before they got more than fifty paces.

The only hold outs were a pair of the captains. One a big pile of muscle with a pair of lethal axes and the other a smaller warrior with a thick chopper in hand and the other resting over a small crossbow. I trotted up and dismounted as my boys surrounded them.

"You'd be Thrag, huh?" warrior spat and shimmied his shoulders, "We are so impressed with your… simple visage."

"Ehehehehhehee!" the bigger laughed with a manic edge to it but said nothing else.

He was one of those uruks…

"Let's just get to it." I told them as I brought a curved pair of bearded axes to my hands.

The warrior quick drawed his little crossbow and sent a bolt my way that I deflected and his partner closed in behind it swinging wildly. I stepped through his attacks and hooked his ankle, bringing the big bitch down while swinging at his partner who deflected the attack and sent a trio of deceptively quick cuts my way with his chopper that accomplished little more than giving his pal some time to roll away from me.

The warrior tried to send a surprise throwing knife my way, but it cost him his hand to do so. He squealed in pain and his partner shrieked in rage, putting a shocking amount of power into the flurry of blows I deflected flawlessly.

During that storm I slipped an axe between the strikes with brutal cunning and cut the big uruk's neck with its sharp edge. He didn't go down, but he started to slow as the rapidly bleeding cut sapped his life away.

He did live long enough to see me hook his friend's chopper with one axe and sink the other into the warrior's neck, slicing his head off as I drew the sharp weapon back.

Big boy surprised me with a flying tackle, but even with pure fury pumping through his depleted veins the boy was a hundred years too young to grapple with me. I came out on top during the short scramble having taken his back and I sunk a meaty forearm under his slick chin and I started to crank back, pulling the wound open even further.

I kept cranking till I came away with the boy's head, raising it into the air to the adoring screams of my gang.

"Alright, that's enough cheering. Now get to work. If even a ounce of ice ends up in caragor shrahk I'll make the whole lot of you search through it for a week with your fingers." I commanded and got to the important business of finding any unspoilt grog.

When morning came I grinned at the new inventory. Had enough iron to arm up another hundred uruks for my already bloated gang, and enough gold silver and gems to give a dwarf a stiffy. We pulled it back to camp on some well engineered loot sleds and as we came in sight of my ever expanding fortifications I spotted a pair of familiar Dark Tribe assassins waiting at my gate.

"Worst ambush ever boys." I told the pair as we came up the approach, but noticed a distinct lack of blue light in their eyes.

"We broke free of the Bright Lord." The first spat their former master's title.

"And came to join up with the only uruk that seems to be able to beat his man swine behind like a drum." the other added.

"Leave that Dark Lord Bright Lord shrahk behind boys." I told the pair, "This here is Thrag's Army, and I am the master now."

"Won't hear any complaints from us so long as we get our pound of flesh from the tark." the first spoke again.

"A little slice and dice is the least he owes us." the second agreed, and my merry band of backwoods murderers gained a pair of powerful new assets.