Demon inside

Living with this experience all my life and it hurts me every time it comes across my mind in a very big different way. More dramatic situations happened every time I tried to get into relationship with people. It was the demon in me was always watching. It was hard every day to sleep, as I thought about the lives I had taken, the families I had made to weep.

 With all this some dumb head humans would woke up to me telling me it was cool to be me, just living with the guilty of killing someone was killing me. 

 Every time I lay on the bed trying to get a sound sleep, all I see are them, struggling to escape the monster I was and I saw fear, anger and a little hope like I was going to come back to my senses but that hope killed them. 

Few years passed and I had left the city were I had grew up and had bad memories, like my parents would say, now in a new town where no one seemed to have heard of the terror of the night, a place where everyone in it seemed happy on the outside and super sad on the inside; but that's how life was right?

First day of school was supposed to be a big deal since it was my first day in college and also my first day in the new school. The class room was ok, students everywhere, they all had groups all around the class; some gathered in threes, four but the list was two. 

 They were two girls who were sitting next to me, I had picked the seat because it was less crowed and the ladies there looked damn hot as heck and nice I guessed as I smiled at them and dropped my bag and sat down.

Just as I was waiting to receive their smile back, I had a whisper in my head 

"Remember you can't have any friends or get in a relationship if you truly want to help keep the town peaceful"

I nodded with a sad face and then waved back the ladies who kept smiling and waving at me. 

Few minutes after settling down our chemistry walked in and he looked very familiar. Not sure how knew him but I was so certain I knew him and fo9r some reasons I was trying to hide my face but it was for use. He walked up to my chair and asked me to introduce myself. Was so thankful he did not call me out to the front of the class to do that or else I would have definitely been embarrassed on my first day at school. 

"Hi.." I said 'waving my hand in the air as I stared at the man just then it hit me where I knew him from. 

 He was attacked one night back in the city of dark where we lived before. Well I had not saw the end of the chase since I was just sitting on the porch of our house when I saw them; some group of men and young teenage boys running after him. Would have ran along just to see what was happening but the street of the city of the dark was no longer that safe for one to pork nose in other people's business, I knew off someone who did not mind his business and got killed for it. 

I was happy to see he had made it out of that crazy town too but was still wondering what he most have done that even teenagers were after him, the street of the city of dark was full of all kind of shit but it was very rare for teenagers to get involved. 

"Hi... I am Matthew and my friends calls me matt" I said as I kept on smiling, mother had said smiling tends to give people good impression about you and first impression really mattered 

Few of the students smiled and the teacher did too then he ordered me to sit back. 

 Some minutes after I sat, I noticed nothing that he was saying was entering my dumb head, I was just staring and feeling really sleepy too; just then I sighted the damsel sitting few desk away from me. She was also lost and was looking all around the classroom then finally stopped looking around and started staring at the classroom clock which was going as slow as it could going " Tick-Tock".

 I smiled as I saw someone who was really more impatient than I was, I could not help but stare at her as she stared at the clock. Few minutes, she went back to looking around the class room, just then, our eyes met for few seconds before I looked away in fear 

"Did she notice me?" 

"Nope, it was just few seconds bro"

"Good thing we looked the other so quick" 

"Yeah man. We can't afford to lose another set of friends to that demon deep inside" he whispered to his self as he stared down into his book on his table, just then he heard the bell rang but the urge to leave the class was no longer there.

 Later Matthew was able to put his self-back together then packed his books which was scattered on the table like he was one serious student or like he had been listening all class long. 

 When she walked passed my desk, I was shaky and so sweaty, all I did was just look down and packed my books with so much seriousness. 

 I was walking along the walk away thinking how I had fucked up my chances of talking to her when I noticed she was few distant ahead of me , I could have ran up to her and talk to her but I was too shy and I was ready to let the demon inside to hurt anyone else. So I came to a decision of stalking her. 

"What!!!!" I yelled with my hand over my mouth so as not get my voice heard. 

" You hear that ?" the man I was peeping at said as he walked forward from his front door step, the lady beside looked scared and confused 

" I did not hear a thing, I know better than to let anyone follow me here dad" the lady standing behind him said as she was assuring him with her cool soft and tendered voice which sounded like there was a river of cry's she was holding. 

"What!!!" I screamed again and this time I had my mouth really covered well with my hands was not yet ready to be dead before I had graduated from high school. 

"Dad?" I added in a low confused tone as I stared at the tiled road like it had any idea of what I was talking about or it could me a better explanation.