1 CH1| Forgive Me- The past|

"Mommy, where are we going?" That's the last thing I remember saying, before watching my sister get taken from me by a couple of strangers.

I was taken next.

Being only five, we were taught never to talk to or go anywhere with strangers, so why was she just handing us off to them with such ease? I knew something bad had happened when I watched her wave goodbye with tears streaming down her eyes, but at the time I thought Our situation was temporary and I was going to see her again. Reminded me of the time I overheard her and dad arguing, mom took my sister and dad took me, but this wasn't like last time at all, daddy wasn't here anymore and mommy wasn't going with me.

The next day, waited by the stranger's front door so that she could pick me up and take me to see my sister. It's only been a day but I missed her, we were always together and now that we weren't things just didn't feel right. Months go by and I never see either of them nor have I heard from them.

It was like dad all over again.

When months turned into years I started to assume the worst. Were they dead? Did they forget about me?, maybe I made them up, like all my other imaginary friends.

When I had given up on the idea of ever seeing them again, I started getting used to my new environment and after some getting used to, I let the strangers in. In time, they ended up becoming my only source of comfort , they became my real friends.

I grew older and I was no longer the same five-year-old girl my birth giver had given up. She didn't even have the decency to reach out or give me some type of explanation for her actions, and for that I resented her.

My adoptive mom; my real mom, was the one to show me what it really meant to be a mother. I stopped claiming, my birth mom years ago. I went years without her and honestly never want to see her again. I searched for my sister, but couldn't find her, it was as if she disappeared off of the face of the earth. As time passed by I convinced myself, she wasn't real.

My sperm donor left us before we were born, so I stopped caring for him way before my birth giver gave us up.

My new family made up for all the abandonment issues I had, they never left me And not once did they make me feel like they ever planned to. I had Three older brothers, I was the only girl, and it'd be lying if I said it wasn't rough growing up. They had to adapt to a stranger being apart of their family. At first they made sure I knew I was adopted and didn't belong every chance they had. I took a couple of lessons from them though and now, I'm in charge.

It was hard for mommy too at first, every time I heard the door ring I screamed out "that's my mom, she's finally here to get me!?, "I have a sister, not brothers".

And She would watch my face fall each time, it was only the delivery guy or paparazzi, they loved mommy and mommy loved the cameras. They all molded me, brothers taught me to defend myself, be yourself even if society doesn't accept you, and stand out. Mom taught me to let go of the past, love yourself and you don't need a man to make you happy. She wasn't the best but she was there. She gave us everything we wanted and by everything I mean everything.

With all that knowledge I Attain, I still manage to still cover up my pain, with inauthentic happiness. It didn't matter how many years passed, I couldn't forgive my birth giver, not even my sister, why hadn't they ever come looking for me. I went through a lot, things I don't speak about. But I'm older now, and I guess I'm over it. Even though my childhood before being adopted is a mystery, I'm more understanding, I've learned to let go but forgiveness is one thing that I have a hard time doing. I could never figure out why, why would she give me away , so easily...