1 00 - Prologue

"Quick, we are running out of time!" I grumble to Alis as we are walking to school.

"Since when is attendance such a priority to you?" Alis fixes her gaze on me and I suddenly panic. She's asking a question she already knows the answer to.

"Since I have advanced social studies first period. I care about my education you know... "I say with a firm voice and I hear a sonorous laugh from Alis.

"Lets say that you like a certain someone rather that the lesson." She elbows me and winks repeatedly while I examine my possible outcomes in this conversation.

"But I do also like social studies not as much as Psychology but it pretty close." I whisper suddenly feeling small.

"Ya, right!"

We eventually quit teasing each other and manage to make it in school welcomed by the bell, meaning we are late. I would consider myself perfectly punctual in my books, however Mr Harries sees it completely different.

I prepare myself to shamefully walk in the advance social studies class strictly avoiding eye contact with anyone.

It's been three months since I've settled in this school. The idea of leaving the old one never sat right with me but I needed the change in scenario. The toxic environment in my old one invetabily pushed me to change schools. I got to know people in this time. I know the ones I should stay away from and the upheld popular people that socialise with everybody; everyone seems to only talk about these things.

Although there is one guy who caught my attention, his name is Kyle Morris, he's part of the basketball team but he's nothing like his friends. He's a nice honest guy by the looks of it while his friends are more careless and trouble seekers. If I didn't know any better I would feel like this school seems more like a scripted high school rom-com movie than an actual school because of him.

Despite my record of misfortunes, I was blessed to meet Alis Murphy who soon became a very close friend. Her creative being and my sense of humour clicked together instantly in spite of my reluctance at the start.

She's the only true friend I have and love. I'm quite solitary and prefer to have a small circle of friends, mostly due to most of them reavelimg themselved as backstabbers growing up.

Life began to get real for me from a young age. My mom's lost broke me and I am still recovering from the pain it brought. Since that day my father changed. Not much, but I sense a cold and dismissive attitude towards me when I ask things that involve mom or her past.

As I'm immersed in my own thoughts I don't realise that for once Mr Harries isn't in the room, and therefore hasn't seen my tardiness until an external person breaks my inner monologue.

"Can I sit here?", a male voice asks, I nod in response without looking at the person. I feel really tense because people usually don't talk to me. I tend to push people away to prevent me from opening up to them. The fewer people I get attached to the less pain I will feel when they're gone. Simple.

In fact, at first I didn't want Alis as my friend, but after occasions in which I had to help her and she helped me, it was inevitable - waking me up to realise that I too need people to call friends.

"Do you have a pen that I can borrow? Mine ran out" the same voice asks with a pronounced British accent, "I'm Josh by the way".

I keep quiet, give him the pen but don't say anything.

"What's your name?" He asks but I don't reply, hoping that eventually he will get bored and live me alone. Yet, after some time he talks to me again.

"What's this about?" A piece of paper slipped off my book as I was taking down some notes. That paper is a journal strip where I externalise inner conflicts weighing out the good and the bad to guide me into making the right the decision. This particular one is extremely personal.

"None of your business" I snap firmly and take the paper back.

I was writhing about my mum, she died when I was ten. We were really close, her death felt like a part of me was dying with her. It's been six years and I still haven't recovered. I imagine that you never recover from things like this only learn to numb the pain. My heart still ackes whenever I pass her room while walking down the corridors in my house.

°°°

After social studies I head to Biology, where a boring lesson awaits me. And, there I see him. Josh sat next to an empty sit. He's looking at me inviting me to sit there. But I don't, I sit at the front instead.

Wrong move.

Being at the front means being exposed, the teacher can see everything you do without much effort and it completely puts me off.

Because people are more likely to see me, judge me and end up not liking me. I realise that feeling this way is normal as an introvert, paired with some childhood trauma that psychology lessons are helping me to acknowledge. Back when a light, yet dim, was left in me, people used to look at me and feel empathy towards me. They simply scratched the surface and stopped there. I wouldn't care now but I did when I was younger. I hated always being looked over and each time I tried to ignore people I felt better. I continue to this day because after I stopped going for them they stopped coming for me.

It's a genuine friendship when you accept each other for who you really are and not what you like about them.

The true question is... Could Josh become a genuine friend?