1 1 | Just Living

I was 6 years old when my parents abandoned me at a temple. I don't remember much of it other than how depleted it looked in the middle of the woods. The monks there took care of me for a short while before I was adopted by the Yun family. I say adopted, but I was just a substitute for the young master that passed away from an illness.

The Yun family has 3 older sons and a daughter. The young lord that had passed away was the daughter's twin. His name was WeiEr Yun. Apparently his body had always been weak since birth and one night he silently passed away. Madam Yun, their mother, couldn't handle the loss of her child and was bedridden for 3 weeks until Lord Yun, their father, adopted me.

At the time I didn't understand what was happening around me. Madam Yun had locked me in a small room without any windows and 3 times a day a servant would bring me porridge. Every day, Madam Yun would spend time with me. She'd brush my hair, wash my body, and clothed me.

For several months, daylight didn't exist in my eyes. I didn't even know how she looked like, but one night after she left the room, I snuck out. It wasn't long before a servant found me playing in the courtyard and informed Madam Yun. She came running as she yanked my arm and dislocated it. I remember crying in pain as she held my face and her face instantly paled in disgust.

After returning to my room no one came to see me for several days. My arm was in pain and I was starving, until Madan Yun returned. I remember her ice cold hands as she slapped my face several times until it bled. Then she said,

"WeiEr, don't ever leave this room. If you do, I'll hit you again and you won't have any food to eat. Your body is weak. You have to stay where I can see you."

Having said that she called a physician in to look at my arm. However, I was still a child and didn't understand what she meant. Many times I left the room and each time I did, the worse the punishments. After those several times, I understood that I could not leave that room.

I remember hearing the servants saying that I wasn't allowed to leave because the Madam could not bear to see my face, because it was not her son's face. I lived in that room for another 3 years until the Madam died from an illness as well.

After the Madam's funeral, I was finally able to leave the room. I thought my life would be better, but it turned for the worse. My eyes were sensitive to the light, so they were covered with a bandage that wrapped around my head. Many said I was blind and I believed them because it was painful wherever I opened them, so I kept them closed.

My siblings hated me. They were constantly bullying me. They pushed me into ponds, threw rocks at me, and would put bugs in my food. I was always covered in scratches and bruises. Then one day MeiYi, the daughter, came to ruff me up pretty badly as she said,

"If it weren't for you, I would still have a mother! If you didn't exist, my mother would have spent more time with me than visit you all day! You're not even my brother, but every day she calls you WeiEr, WeiEr, WeiEr!"

What was I supposed to say? I also didn't want to be locked up in a dark room with nothing to do, no one to talk to, and eat porridge every day. Wherever I spoke the Madam would slap me because my voice didn't sound like WeiEr. Every day I was beaten because everything I did was different from her dead son.

Although the three older brothers also hated me, only the eldest, RaiYa, did not physically bully me. The second eldest was, NaiWei and the third was HuLang. They were close in age, all a year apart with RaiYa at age 16. Although RaiYa did not torment me, he was more heartless than the other Yun children. He treats his siblings with tender care and is courteous to the people around him, but talks down on me like I'm dog shit. He pretends I don't exist, but purposely say hurtful comments out loud making sure I can hear it such as,

"When you're born filthy, you can't be anything else but filthy," or "Trying to make yourself look pitiful to attract attention, just how low can a scum be?"

Even though his comments hurt. I still can't help, but yearn for someone to love me and take care of me. Why can't someone just look my way too?