Day 17 Morning- In Front of The Cave

WE ATE LUNCH and finished preparing for the expedition.

"We're going to take the shortcut through the forest," I told them.

"Make sure everyone's armed, okay?"

"Got it!"

Everyone was unusually chipper. Did some strange mushrooms get in

their breakfast? Gotta stick to fish—there's no such thing as a psychedelic

trout.

They were all showing each other their stomachs and chattering about

how slim and toned they'd gotten. Could they please be a little more aware

that a teenage boy is among them?

As we began to travel, we encountered only goblins and kobolds, no

orcs. Nonetheless, the girls kept leveling up tirelessly as we hiked. Maybe

their stamina's improved, I thought.

We made great time. It wasn't even noon when we passed the point

where we'd turned around yesterday. We didn't stop for lunch, opting to eat

dried mushrooms as we walked instead—it was a terrible lunch, but we had

a long way to go. Did the nerds find the town safely? If they stopped

somewhere along the way and were living in the woods, the mean girls

would hunt them down soon at this rate.

I used Appraisal to look around for food, but I only found medicinal

herbs effective against poison. Was that foreshadowing? I gathered some

just in case. It was strange that there were so many antidote herbs but

nothing poisonous. If it's not a sign, then I'm just weeding the forest like a

garden.

I checked around with Clairvoyance, but all I could sense was more

forest, more herbs, and more kobolds. Everyone was getting sick of

walking.

"Let's take a break," I called. "I've got juice. Low, low price!"

"Give me some juice, mister," said Nudist Girl. "I don't have money,

but I can pay with my body!"

She gave me a lascivious wink and laughed.

"Uh, just take it for free, okay?"

Nudist girl slumped forward, dismayed. "I see, my body's…not even

worth…one cup of juice…"

Despondent, she started tracing shapes on the ground. Oh, it's been a

while! Let me join in and I'll show off my drill technique!

"Haruka-kun, lay off Fukunuki-san," called the Class Rep. "She's

starting to, uh, lose things."

Why does everything I say end with them mad at me? Besides, who

the hell is Fukunuki-san? I was just giving out juice! This was bordering on

psychological abuse!

"I know we've already come pretty far, but we want our camp to be

secure," I told the Class Rep. "It's a ways away, but there's a good spot by

the river."

It was at the limit of what I could sense with Clairvoyance, but if

monsters stayed away from the riverbank then it would at least be safe. I

considered scouting ahead to check it out. I had some things I wanted to test

out, too.

"The woods are fine now, right? Do you think it's a good plan for me

to check out that area?"

"I think that's a good call, but phrasing everything as a question

makes me second-guess how good of an idea it really is," the Class Rep

said. "Should I come along?"

"No, I'd rather you stay here. I'm just going to go there and back. I'll

be fine on my own."

I went ahead and started to run through the woods. Using Magic

Infusion, I strengthened my body like I had a while back. Then I used

Weight Magic to make my body even lighter. Whoa! I was going faster than

ever. The lighter I became, the faster I ran.

I made it to the river and turned downstream. I couldn't move this

fast anywhere in the forest but the riverbank; dodging trees at this speed

would be impossible. They whipped by me like projectiles in a video game.

There weren't many obstacles along the river. The footing was poor,

but since my body was so light, I kept leaping in huge bounds. Could I even

fly? If I gave myself a big head start and then jumped, I just might manage

it, but I needed a straight runway to gather enough speed. There we go—the

river straightens out a bit here. Let's do it!

"I can fly!" I cried, running as fast as I could and then leaping off the

ground. "I…can…flyyyyyyy!"

I flew. Maybe it was more like a high-speed, long-distance, aerial

power walk? One small step for a man, one high-velocity surface-to-air

missile leap for mankind. This experience is even more unusual than getting

summoned to another world.

The river and forest shrunk into the distance below me. There it is! I

could see the way out of the woods—it was too far to see with Clairvoyance

from the ground. Then the wind resistance caught up to me while I was

busy taking it all in, and I stalled out. Buffeted by the winds, I plummeted

like a stone. Is this the end?

I screamed as I fell. The trees in my way broke with a series of

deafening cracks. Then, with a ba-sklorsh, I rocketed straight into the

ground. I lost half my HP! Apparently the sky was more hazardous than

most monsters. Distracted fly-jumping could be fatal. And what was that

sound at the end? Was the ground mocking me?

I was back in the middle of the forest. Everything hurts, but that was

awesome! Good thing I'd used Magic Infusion to strengthen my body.

Weight Magic probably helped soften the impact, too.

From above, I had seen everything clearly. The river made a sharp

bend to the right up ahead, so if we cut through the forest to the right at an

angle, we would save some time. Now to report back.

"I'm back," I called. "I think we can make it out of the woods by

night?"

"Huh? You scouted ahead that far?" asked Class Rep.

"Er, not exactly. I kind of launched into the sky and saw the way out

while I was falling back down?"

"Haruka-kun, I don't think your Corporate Proactiveness is working

properly. Your scouting report leaves a ton of questions unanswered! How

did you get launched into the sky? Did you get a skill that turns you into a

satellite or something?! How did you get so injured?!"

Well, I was unemployed, wasn't I? How was I supposed to learn how

to make accurate, informative reports?

"What guy wouldn't want to fly like a superhero?" I said. "We're in a

world of magic, so I figured I might as well give it a shot. So I shot myself

into the sky, but after a while I crashed into the ground. Turns out, falling

from a great height hurts."

The Class Rep glared at me again, but I wouldn't let that get me

down. I realized that my cloak and tunic didn't have a scratch on them.

Even kobold's claws didn't rip them. Plus, no matter how dirty and blood-

soaked they got, rinsing them with water made them good as new. What the

hell kind of work did Villager A do to need stuff like this?

We took the aforementioned shortcut through the woods to the right.

This was saving us a lot of time, but we kept on guard in case of monsters.

Whenever we came across monsters, a party of five girls stepped up,

killed them, and then switched out for the next team of five. It was fast and

efficient. Just as I thought, the Class Rep is great at strategy, leadership,

and analysis. Were Super Horny and Alpha Male making her even more

effective? Uh, I'm not thinking about anything, Class Rep, just thinking

about the weather! She can definitely read my thoughts!

The sky grew dark. The trees had become sparser as we neared the

edge of the forest. It was probably a good idea to set up camp here, where

there was still cover.

"Hey, does anyone think it's a good idea to stop for camp here?"

"Yes, please!" the girls shouted in unison.

Everyone seemed spent.

I noticed that everyone was staring as I set up the giant air-dome tent

—was there something wrong with that? Every time I did anything, they all

seemed to find something to take issue with!

"We're not mad, we're all baffled that you just said 'open' and the

tent opened up like that. It's more than enough space for twenty people!"

I diverted a part of the river into an earthen basin to make a simple

open-air bath with a screen to separate bathing areas, heated up the water,

and fled the scene as fast as I could. Nudist Girl had started stripping down

while I was still building the bath, and I figured they'd all scold me even if

she was the exhibitionist. Maybe I had a new title, Pariah? Since I hadn't

been able to find anything besides bitter, antidotal herbs, I had to put up

with a smorgasbord of mushroom salads seasoned with salt for dinner.

The girls took baths, ate, and rolled around in the tent like usual.

Class Rep looked too exhausted to tell them to knock it off. I sat down and

pretended to nap so that no one would hassle me. Then I surreptitiously

channeled my magic to build a fence and moat around the campsite. That's

what the nerds did at the old base. Now what else could I make? Of course!

I dotted the surroundings with pit traps using Earth Magic. Can I make

magical traps?

I realized that we didn't need a night watch. The tent was monster

repellant, and Enemy Tracking and Presence Detection worked even in my

sleep.

Still, the girls needed to be ready for when they'd be on their own, so

they kept watch in shifts. Wait, did someone assign me to a shift with others

by mistake?

All that aside, the night was cool and pleasant, my sleeping bag was

comfortable, and I felt protected by my Shut-In title. It drizzled a few times

that night, but the rain was so light it was barely noticeable. Maybe the dry

season had started?

I needed to get some sleep before my shift. As I drifted off, I

wondered how the others knew when their shift was over.

"Haruka-kun, wake up, it's time for your shift," someone called.

"Ugh, wake me up when I'm dead," I muttered.

"I'm not letting you sleep until then! Is this world not good enough

for you?"

Grumbling to myself, I followed the girl from the gymnastics team

out of the tent, where four jock girls had assembled. Damn, am I the

weakest one here? No, it was definitely Nudist Girl.

"Good morning!" one of them said. "Let's crush this night shift!"

"Aren't we just staying awake and keeping an eye out?"

"Don't fall asleep," Nudist Girl said. "If you do, I'll fall asleep, too.

We'll end up sleeping together!"

"What are you talking about? Just don't sleep! Definitely don't sleep

together!"

Some of the sporty girls at our school were pretty famous, even

getting mentions on TV and in the newspaper. Maybe that means they have

names, I thought. Not that I have any idea what they are.

Thinking back on it, Nudist Girl must've caused all sorts of problem

back in the real world, even just around other girls. She was a candidate for

the Olympic swim team. The sleepy-looking gymnastics girl must have

been a troublemaker as well. Both of them apparently participated in huge

international competitions. And the other two were popular girls who won

regional high school championships when they were first-years.

"Okay, it's on the tip of my tongue," I said. "Are you guys called…

the twin telephone poles?"

I remembered a banner someone put up back in high school. I

thought I remembered… Come on, brain cells, remember!

"Who are you calling telephone poles?!" they yelled at me. "Are you

saying our legs are fat? Or do you not remember our names?!"

"Hang on, hang on," I said. "Wasn't there a big banner that called

you two the twin telephone poles?"

"The twin towers! No one has ever called us telephone poles!"

"I'd burn any sign that called me a telephone pole! No question!"

I remembered wrong? I guess my brain cells aren't up to the task.

"I can't believe I'm on night watch with so many superstars," I said.

"I guess I'm nervous?"

"How can you call us superstars if you don't even know our names?

We're in the same class!"

"And I'm just…Nudist Girl…Nudist…Girl…"

Looked like something had really hurt Nudist Girl's feelings. Was she

still traumatized from getting attacked by the guys?

"No, let me finish!" I exclaimed. "Nudist Girl, you saw them on TV,

right? And you—you were the, the Marmalade Pretzel of competitive

swimming?"

"Marmalade…pretzel? I love…pretzels…"

Oh no. She's getting worse! Maybe she was traumatized by fighting

monsters every day?

"Uh, how the hell did you turn Mermaid Princess into Marmalade

Pretzel?!"

I was sure it was Marmalade Pretzel. Whoever told me about her

must've misheard.

"He'll definitely butcher my nickname, too," said the gymnastics girl.

"Oh no, you're good," I said. "You had flyers all over the halls. The

Febreze Dance? Yeah, I saw it every morning."

"Why would the gymnastics team advertise air fresheners in a

school?!"

"It was Fairy Dance! Did you think we got on stage and sprayed

aerosols the whole time?"

A few of the girls in the tent yelled at us to be quiet since they were

trying to sleep. Why did everyone only get mad at me? Is this the true

nature of high school girls revealed? I didn't like it one bit.

I built a bonfire, and we checked the surrounding area. Nothing

showed up with Enemy Tracking and Presence Detection. The Four Sports

Queens took offense at my initiative. Jocks were jocks regardless of gender.

All those muscles squeezed out any room for brains.

"Want some juice?" I suggested.

"Woo-hoo! Juice!"

They really were the intellectual equals of goblins.

"Didn't you say there weren't many berries around to make juice

with? Are you sure we can have some?"

"Oh, well, I get a strong flavor from just steeping the fruit in water," I

said. "No matter how many times I re-steep the same fruit, it still turns into

juice. I guess it's some sort of mystery potion?"

"All-you-can-drink juice! I can't believe we can get unlimited refills

here!"

"When I leave, I'll give each group one fruit so you can have some,"

I said.

"Are you really going to leave?"

I knew it was most logical to leave, but emotionally, I was torn. I

knew that a few of the girls still didn't want me to be there.

The sports girls should know. They would understand better than

anyone.

"When you're playing at a championship match, do you really take

the weakest member of your team off the bench?" I said. "Wouldn't that

just make everyone miserable?"

These girls, who had reached the peak of their respective sports,

would know just what was best for a team. They really understood what a

difference in level meant in the real world.

Eventually our shift ended and we swapped with the group of vice

class reps. Which one of them is the real vice rep? I wondered.