1 Reminisce
"fhay, wake up" kuya wake me up.
"take a bath now, libing ngayon ni mommy" malungkot na bigkas ni kuya
Tumango lang ako at tumayo na para maligo as i walk memories flashed in my mind.
"mommy wala nang mayonnaise"
" sige baby, bibili ako mamaya"
"sama po ako" paglalambing ko kay mommy
"mom let's ride perris wheel" pag aya ko kay mommy at kuya
"i can't , I'm scared of high baby"
"mom please?"
"fhay stop it, if mom really can't, let's just her" kuya cut me off
"it's okay jhay, I'll try"
"mom i accidentally ate peanut" nagpapanic na sabi ko kay mommy, i have an allergy with peanut that's why mom brought me in hospital immediately.
"baby, is your neck ok now? Your throat? It is still itchy?" mom asked me nonstop
"im already fine mom, i didn't know that its peanut sandwich i thought its mayonnaise"
"its my fault" kuya blaming himself "i think, i should stop eating my favorite jam so that you wouldn't accidentally eat peanut again" kuya full of guilty
"really kuya, you're going to do it for me?"
"yeah of course, im your kuya and ill do everything just to stay you away from danger"
"im so blessed, coz i have a children with a protective kuya and sobrang makulit na baby" mommy hugged us with full of loved
"let's go" kuya said when we got in the cemetery.
Tumango lang ako bilang tugon. Marami ng tao doon nung dumating kami ni kuya.I sat between kuya and Lola.
"where's your dad?" Lola asked, I don't know who she was asking, either me or kuya but no one answer her. "that bastard. wait here, I'm going to call him."
Dad is really bastard. I hate him! We always seeing him with his fvcking woman!
"mom is that dad?" i asked mom.
"yes baby, it's dad. He's having a meeting with his employee "
My mom said it's employee but the rumor said it's mistress. I don't know what I'm going to believe but I think it'll be both, my dad's employee is his mistress.
Lola cried a lot when my mommy burried and even kuya.
While me, im silent here. No tears, no sobs and no regrets, but it doesn't mean that im not hurt, actually she's my everything aside from kuya. I have no regrets because my mom really need a rest, and to stop from hurting.
"let's go home" bulong ko kay kuya
Pinunasan niya muna ang mga luha sa kanyang pisngi bago ako tinignan, and then i saw a fake smile
"okay, lil sis. Mag papaalam lang ako ay lola" tumango ako bilang tugon
Pumunta si kuya kay lola saka bumulong at Sumama si lola kay kuya na papunta dito
"ayaw niyo ba talagang pumunta muna sa bahay?. Dun muna kayo ngayong gabi sabagay wala namang kayong kasama sa bahay niyo."
"sanay na kami..." sabi ko at tinalikuran na sila, sasakay na sana ako sa kotse ng may mga taong lumapit sakin.
"iha, ikaw ba yung anak ni Filisteo Gardeazar" tanong ng malaking lalaki
"no" walang pag aalinlangang sagot ko
"but your brother is Jehiel, right?" tanong naman nung lalakeng kaedad ni kuya
"yes" napansin ko ang pagkunot ng noo nung kaedad ni kuya dahil siguro sa pagkalito
"so....you're the daughter of jennivie?" tanong ulit nung isang lalaki
"yes i am, if you don't mind i need to go. You're getting into my way, and im sick of it" sabi kong pagalit
Andami nilang tanong parang mga reporter!
"fhaye!!" sinuway ako ni kuya at inirapan ko siya. "im so... Sorry tito, she doesn't mean it"
"nah, its fine. I understand though, by the way where's you're dad i have something proposal to him."
"he's busy" kuya said it with low voice. Parang ikinahihiya niyang sabihin yon.
"oh, it's okay. Siguro next time nalang, i know you can fight it Jehiel. You're a strong and brave person, cheer up"
"and you Fhaye let your emotion and feelings come out and don't let live it with you" sabi niya sa malambot na boses
"thanks tito" sabi ni kuya
" if you need someone, Vinx is always right here. Ok?"
"Dad is right, Jehiel. If you need something I'm always right here"
"thanks " naglakad na sila papalayo at binuksan narin ni kuya jhay ang door ng sasakyan for me.
"lil sis, what you've acted a while ago was rude, if mom sees you she will scold you. Remember what mom sa--"
"kuya please, stop. Mom is dead and you wouldn't changed it, so please! Stop talking about her"
"hey listen, mom just rested in peace and it doesn't mean that we will forget her. Yes mom is dead but it's just her body not her memories"
As kuya drove I just do nothing but to stare the sideways
"lets eat some ice cream" kuya stopped at the ice cream shop where in my whole family was already ate here. So it's definitely my worst place ever.
"one chocolate sundae and one cookies and cream" order ni kuya
"Fhaye, do you remember when we first got here?" tanong niya
"yeah, of course I remembered, but I don't want to talk about it. It's one of my hectic day so, no!" sabay wagayway ko pa kamay ko dahil sa hindi pagsang ayon
"why? Did you see mom, how happy she was when mom, dad, you, and I were ate together in one table?. It was my precious thing ever"
"look kuya, mom was just acted to be happy. The truth is she wanted to walked out when dad appeared and sat next to her but because of us she didn't do it" sabay subo sa order naming kadadating lang
"how did you say so? Ikaw ba siya?" sarcastic na tanong niya
"im not her but i feel her, you don't know mom like how i knew her. Mom is a great pretender kuya."
"is that so? Then why mom did not file a divorce?"
"it's because of her children's sake kuya, you still don't get it, Gosh!" inirapan ko siya dahil ang bobo niya.
"so, mom had a hard times for a fvcking forty-five years!"
"hey your mouth!"
"im sorry lil sis i just carried away" bumulong pa siya ng "fvck" pero rinig rinig ko naman
"disgusting" sabay iling ko pa
"lola and you were right, dad is really bastard"
"tss, ngayon mo lang alam. Manang mana ka talaga sakaniya"
"hey!, what did you say, huh?" tinuro niya ako pero pinagpatuloy ko paring ubusin ang ice cream ko na parang wala lang
"don't you ever say it again lil sis, kung ayaw mong.... Ayaw mong.....??"
"ayaw mong what kuya?, anong gagawin mo kung sasabihin ko na namang manang mana ka kay daddy huh?"
"grrr, ginagalit mo talaga ako huh, ikaw magbabayad nitong inorder ko bahala ka kung wala kang pera basta bayaran mo to!"
"so childish, ..... Disgusting"
Warning!!: medyo spg
Nang nakarating na kami sa bahay, agad akong tumungo sa sofa para maupo and kuya sat next to me
"matulog ka na lil sis, today is one of your hectic day so, you need to rest"
"yup, you should too kuya"
Paakyat ako sa pangalawang palapag ng bahay nang may narinig akong ungol ng babae sa kwarto ni mommy.
"what's that?" I'm a little bit nervous but I tried to open the door to see it
"ahh, sige pa teo. Isagad mo pa sh*t" ungol ng babae
'what the hck! Teo? Is that dad's mistress?"
I opened the door and nakita ko si dad na nakapatong sa malanding higad na babaeng yon
"kuyaaa!" biglang tumigil si dad sa paggalaw at tumingin siya saakin dahil sa pag sigaw ko at narinig ko ang mga yapak ni kuya
"what's happe--Oh! My god" kuya got a goosebump on what he saw
Dad already had a pants but the malanding higad was covered by a blanket and that blanket was my mom's
"Fhaye, go to your room. I just go to talk with dad, ALONE." sabi ni kuya sabay tingin sa malanding higad
Pinapasok muna ako ni kuya sa kwarto bago sila umalis. My room was dimmed,as always naman hindi kasi ako makatulog pag maliwanag ang surroundings, my curtain is black, my blanket my pillows and even the paint of my walls. Akmang hihiga na sana ako ng may nadaganan akong katawan ng tao
Sumigaw ako dahil sa takot at tumakbo palabas
I saw kuya struggled too because of my actions
"why?" kuya asked me
"the-there's a person on my bed!" nag papanic na sabi ko
"Dad is that one of your woman too!"
"Hell no!"
Lumabas yung babae galing sa kwarto at parang inosente na walang kaalam alam sa mga nangyayari
Nang tinignan niya kami isa isa tumigil siya sa pagtingin kay kuya, nagtitigan silang dalawa
'woah what's happening'
kuya is handsome, has a sharp nose, white skin, brown eyes and tall but i didn't know that this girl in front of me was fall inlove at first sight with kuya.
'yeah i think she's inloved'
"dad kindly explain what the story behind of these two mistresses in this house!"
Nasa living room kaming lahat. Hindi pumayag si kuya na makisali ako sa usapan pero hindi ako pumalag, duh involve ako rito.
The malanding higad ay naka damit na ngayon at nakaupo siya malapit kay dad pati rin yong babaeng nasa kwarto ko. Kuya and i sat together so, we're like two vs. Three in our position.
Wait there's more. May isang mas babae na bumaba sa hagdan and i think nanggaling siya sa kwarto ni kuya
Halos ka edad ko lang siya
"tito yan ba yung mga anak mo?" tanong niya
Pero walang sumagot. Inirapan ko siya dahil napaka feelingera niya kala niya welcome na welcome siya sa bahay
"dad, hindi ka na nga pumunta sa libing ni mommy ito pa yung dinadala mo sa bahay!, please do some respect kahit hindi na para sakin basta i respeto niyo naman si mommy at si Fhaye" sabi ni kuya habang nakatingin sa babaeng nasa kwarto ko kanina.
"hey kiddo, low down your voice, where's your respect for your father huh?!" si daddy na parang abnormal sa lagay niya ngayon dahil pinapalibutan na siya ng tatlong babae
"respect?!,tsss. You're asking some respect! But you took your three mistresses here DAD!, mom just burried in the morning yet you're f*cking someone in mommy's room!" pagalit na sigaw ni kuya kay daddy
"it's my room too!" Dad respond
'fhaye! Go to your room' pabulong na sabi ni kuya
'duh kuya, im 17 for age's sake!" pabalik kong bulong kay kuya pero tinalasan niya lang ako ng tingin kaya tumayo nalang ako para makatulog na
"tsss DISGUSTING "sabi ko sabay irap kay dad
"hey!Fhaye, what you just said huh?" dad scold me
"Don't, Don't you ever shout Fhaye like that dad. If you want a respect" pagbabanta ni kuya
Pinagpatuloy nila ang pag uusap sa baba, wala akong marinig dahil sounds proof tong room ko
Pinalitan ko ang bedsheet ng kama ko at mga punda ng mga unan bago natulog
Pag kagising ko, naligo na agad ako at bumaba para kumain ng almusal. Maaga akong nagising dahil akala ko may pasok ako pero sinabi ng profs ko na magpahinga muna daw ako dahil alam daw niya kung paano mawalan ng mahalaga sa buhay.
Pagkababa ko sa kusina nakita ko si kuya, dad at yung tatlong palamunin sa bahay na kumakain ng breakfast.
I kissed my brother's cheek "good morning"
"morning" i looked at him with a questioning look and he easily get it
"just sit and eat Fhaye, we'll talk later"
Breakfast is silent, no one tried to talk not until i smell a PEANUT!!
I thumped the table and everyone looked at me because of my behaviour
"Who's eating PEANUT!!?" pasigaw kong tanong sa lahat
Nakita kong binaba nung babaeng kaedad ko ang kinakain niyang sandwich at ganon rin ang ginawa ng babaeng nadaganan ko kagabi
"shiiit! Mga palamunin na nga kayo nagbibigay pa kayo problema" sabi ko sabay bagsak ng pinggan ko sa sahig dahil sa inis
Tumayo si kuya and gave me a glass of water
"im sorry, ganyan talaga siya pag nakakaamoy ng peanut" pag papaumanhin ni kuya sa dalawa
Halos masamid ako sa iniinom kong tubig dahil sa sinabi niya, ba't ang bilis ng ihip ng hangin. Nung kagabi lang galit galit siya tas ngayon....
"kuya take your words back, you dont need to sorry for them! Its their fault"
"let's talk in your library"
"no! What you just did kuya is SO DISGUSTING!"
umakyat ulit ako sa kwarto at nagkulong at dahil sa naamoy kong peanut panay ang hatshing ko buong araw. Kuya knocked the door many times but i didn't open it, im still mad at him.
"Fhaye take your medicine, it's in front of your door im going to leaved it here if you dont want to talk to me"
Minutes passed i opened my door to get my medicine, coz i cant hold it anymore.
After taking my medicine i sleep to soothe my anger.
I woke up and looked at the clock its already one o'clock pm
I took a bath before go downstairs
There's nobody home. It's okay though, it's quiet and peaceful I want to stay like this forever.
Second passed i heard an engine outside so i took a look
Lumabas si kuya sa sasakyan at nakita ko agad ang hawak hawak niyang ice cream bigla akong na excite sa dala pero agad ding humupa dahil pinagbuksan niya ng pintuan yung babaeng may crush kay kuya at lumabas din si dad at yung malanding higad pati narin yung kaedad kong babae na feelingera
They look happy huh. So ako lang pala naiwan, NICE
Bumalik ako sa inupuan ko at hinintay sila na makapasok.
"lil sis, you're awake" bati ni kuya
"hi Fhaye I'm Erich" pakilala nung babaeng may crush kay kuya nakatayo siya sa harap ko habang ako naman ay nakaupo" and this is jane" inilahad niya ang kamay niya sakin ngunit hindi ko yon pinansin
Tumayo ako " you're Erich and she's jane" tumango tango sila na parang tanga " who cares?, i didn't ask your name, and its not that beautiful like mine, back off gold diggers you across the line of your limits. You're just a stranger here not to be my friend nor to be part of this family"
Tinignan ako ng lahat pati ang mga katulong na naglilinis sa living room kaya aakyat nalang ako sa kwarto kasi parang wala akong kakampi dito
"by the way, you're a perfect and happy family without ME" halos pumiyok yung huling salita ng sinambit ko yon dahil sa galit at selos
I locked the door of my room and no one knocked my door even my kuya just to comfort me or to calm me but no one did it
"I missed you mom, how i wish you're here. Sana hindi kita hinayaang namahinga sana nandito ka ngayon sa tabi ko"
