New discoveries

This sucks. This sucks HARD. Why am I even here? Why couldn't I have just died like a normal person? Maybe if I wasn't such a perverted virgin I would still be alive. My existential crisis happened while a mass of spiders gushed through the cave behind me. The light at the end of the cave. It was so far. Maybe I should just give up. Maybe I'll go to heaven if I just throw myself into the spiders. But...but...they're so gross. I wish I had a cliff to jump off of or maybe a match to light myself on fire. Tears glistened down my face as I realized it was hopeless. I'd just have to keep running.

And I did. I kept sprinting through the cave as fast as I could, the light getting bigger and bigger as I approached. "OOOF," a hand grabbed my leg and made me fall. I turned to see a skeleton with his bony hands wrapped around my ankle, his skull half-broken into pieces; it was the skeleton I had stepped on before. "IT WAS AN ACCIDENT OKAY, WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THAT!?" I kicked him away and saw the spiders almost on top of me, "AHHHH! NOOO!" I scrambled to my feet and flew out of the cave, jumping out of the way of the spiders. As they poured out of the cave they instantly caught on fire and burned alive.

I stared in awe of the cooking spiders, "Huh, I guess they just wanted to die also. But that looks like it hurts so I'm not doing that." The spiders twitched and screeched as they burned alive from the... sun? I felt something still touching my leg. I looked down and saw the arm of a skeleton still attached to my leg, "... haha, that's gross." I peeled the arm off of my ankle and a window appeared in front of me, 'item found. Arm of a fallen adventurer'. "User command/ store item," I said. The arm vanished in an instant. I didn't really care about getting items or anything but I kept it anyway.

An aroma of delicious barbeque suddenly wafted into the air. I hadn't eaten food in such a long time my mouth started watering. I walked toward the savory smell. "... Are you serious?" the smell had come from the burning spiders that had been cooked to perfection. "That is disgusting... But... I mean it wouldn't hurt... If I just took... A little bite, "I tried to resist my appetite but it just smelled so good. I reached down and picked up one of the steamy spiders. It was larger than my hand and its legs drooped down. I ripped one of the legs off and put it up to my mouth. "ITS A SPIDER DONT EAT IT!" a part of me thought. "But it smells so good and I bet it tastes just like a chicken," Another part of me thought, "Besides, food is food right?"

"YES! Food IS food so it's a waste NOT to eat this," I came to a conclusion and ripped off 3 more spider legs and shoved them into my mouth. "... oh my god... this is... SO GOOD!" I devoured the entire spider and picked up a second one, "Finally some good f*cking food," I said as I ate spider after spider. I made sure to save some of the spiders in my inventory for later because I think I just found my favorite food. "I guess spiders aren't that scary if they're dead."

I waited for Zoe to return; passing the time watching videos through the gaming consoles web-browser. "Wow, these guys can build underground pools so well, I wish I could've done that when I was alive," I almost made myself cry but held back the tears. I decided to not think about my old life anymore because I technically AM alive. I suddenly had a realization, "user command/ equip avatar," I said. I was suddenly standing in a forest with a deep hole in front of me. "Woah, this is awesome," I heard voices behind me and turned to see a cameraman and people standing around the hole.

"Ok, now we'll videotape you two in the hole then we'll cut the cameras so the workers can build the inside," one of the guys said.

"Alright."

The two men jumped in the hole and started digging. "Wait is this... " I had seen these two men before, "WTF! MY LIFE IS A LIE! HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME!" The two men were from the videos I had been watching earlier. "YOU GUYS ARE SCAMMERS," I yelled out but they didn't seem to hear me. "Hello?" I waved in front of the cameraman's face but he still didn't see me. "DONT IGNORE ME," I swung my fist and intended to hit the man in the face but my hand went straight through his head, "IM A GHOST! .. Wait, hold on a second. User command/ unequip avatar," my view went back to normal and I was watching the two men build. I smirked, "Nice." I typed in a seven-letter word into the browser and selected the website. "Oh f*ck yes, user command/ equi-"

'You are being transported to your previous state'

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! MY NAKED GIRLS!"

It happened again. I was so close AGAIN but... But the universe is against me. "I guess my suffering is fun to watch, we'll I'm glad I could provide some entertainment," I sobbed on the ground while stuffing my face with spiders. "You'll never leave me will you," I asked the crispy spider, "Good," I bit into it and savored the delicious flavor. This was the only thing I ever needed.