1. If this isn't heaven

Bee, Bee wake up!" I heard someone calling me but my vision was dark. 

That's right. I died. Damn it. The last thing I remembered was visiting the grave, I had brought your favorite flowers Camellias and I spilled everything to you about the last six years. How I payed back everyone who had harmed you. I didn't want you to rest until then, but now you can. Then what happened after? Oh...that's right. I must've felt unwell after talking for so long, my eyes were blurry and then… I fell. Yes right, I must've fainted and hit my head, so...this is how I'll go. there were so many moments in the last 7 years that could've killed me. It's a bit of a relief that I've lasted this long. Still.. I wanted to see them suffer more. Ah..but more than that..I want to see you again. I felt my fingers go cold. Everything felt lighter, my body began drifting. How long will I be like this?

Suddenly a blinding light pierce through my mind. The lids of my eye slowly opened again, no longer heavy and fading, and from it I saw a young girl with golden hair. 

"Bee, we are going to be late, get up!" I could recognize that voice anywhere.

My eyes widen, I couldn't believe what I was seeing, the young girl tugged the sleeve of my dress. 

"L..Lily..?" I muttered, Is this a dream? I thought to myself. No, I died, is this maybe..heaven? I could still feel the coldness of my hands from just a moment ago but as I reached out to touch her, she was warm and real. "LILY!"

 And I pulled her into a hug, tears feel down my face 

"Wha? What wrong Bee?"  She asked her face confused 

The girl in front of me was definitely my Lily , she was younger, but it was definitely her, just as I remembered her when we were younger. 

"I really really missed you" I said holding her tighter

"Miss me?" she struggled pulling apart but I tightened my grasp, afraid she would disappear.

She laugh as though I had said something funny but as the tears stream down my face I could still remember the last time I saw her. In her cell as she awaited her death. During her last moments she had been stripped of her beautiful gowns, the silky long golden hair she was proud of cut. And her tongue.. oh her tongue.. 

"Too..Tight.." she uttered within my grasp until I finally let go. 

 Why..why are you crying?" Lilith appeared startled, hurriedly pulled out a handkerchief from her pockets and whipped my face.

" it's because I thought I'd never see you again!" I sniffled "maybe I should've died sooner" [the I would've been brought to you sooner] I accidentally uttered aloud. 

"Died?!" I laughed at her concern wiping my face. 

"Bee, are you alright, we've been together all day….And We really need to go, we're going to be late!!!" 

Lily suddenly grabbed my hands and yelped "Eek, you're freezing, I outta scold the  maids next time for not bringing a blanket" She pouted angrily rubbing my hands to keep them warm. I chuckled 

"When was the last time I laughed like this" I thought "Bee you're so warm"

"How can you joke about this, what if you got sick?" She pouted. 

"I wont get sick that easily" i said my mind remember those years after you died, the nights  that felt colder and colder after each day. Even when escaping to the frosting north in the dead of night. I never fell ill once. But looking at my Lily who's face was full of concern, I couldnt help but smile. 

"But you were just sick?" Lily mumbled "And now your talking about dying?!" Her voice raised "Bee!" 

Just sick? How could I have been sick? My mind raced for a moment before stopping at a started thought. The last time I was sick was..

"You said we to go somwhere?" I asked suddenly turning to Lily

"Oh yes! that's right!" Lily looked up excited and clasped my hands excitedly and still warming them. "I have great news!"

"I've gotten engaged"

The words sounded like nails on a chalkboard in Beatrices ears. Beatrice almost believed she had misheard it. And time stood still. I had died and now I was seeing Lily again in the afterlife. But now what I think about it, Lily was younger and as i peer down at my hands, they were smaller too, the scars and burns were gone. 

The last time I was sick was 17 years ago. At 9 years old, I had caught a flu, nearly by deaths bed. And 2 weeks later, lily told me about her engagement. 

"W..who.." I stuttered hoping I was hearing wrong 

"Who else? Prince Alexoff!" Lilys voice chimed as a song bird, her face bright blushes of red "My Fiancé" she continued, but my heart nearly stopped.

"Who...who did you say?" My head pounded, my throat suddenly tightened

"Prince Alexoff"

My hands balled into a fist, as sweat dripped down my neck. My mind went blank. This wasn't the Heaven. This was hell.