Chapter 90: Anonymous

My mind is a sludge puddle of emotions. Guilt for what I've made Luke go through. Fear of the punishment that was waiting for us. And sadness for the argument we just had.

I would do anything to reverse time and undo this terrible day. I grew up on the idea that a trusting, loyal relationship does not exist in real life. I haven't seen a single one work. But I want us to. I would love for us to be different.

I don't know how stable relationships work and maybe that's obvious from the way I've acted. I've been insecure because... I've never been secure before. I don't have a stable history of relationships to build off of. Has he?

I guess I have wounds I didn't even know I had. I try to think that my parents leaving me doesn't affect me... I try to think that being cheated on or teased and mocked at school doesn't affect me...

But it does.