Sweet, sweet goodbye, but oh so painful

Fuck. What does he want now? I entangle myself from Foxy and smile reassuringly at him. "I'll be okay. Don't worry", I whisper, Kaiden is occupied with Vere, softly whispering in the corner. Lindsy is curious, only she understood Asswipe. "Go take them to breakfast", I tell Lindsy and follow behind Asswipe to my next moment of doom. Leaving the others standing in the elevator. He leads me down a flight of stairs and we arrive in a dimly lit hallway, Oh hell no, what is he up to now. He walks to the first door on the right and opens the door for me. I walk in and it turns out to be a small office. I turn and face him, questiongly looking at him. "Firstly let me apologize for what my brother did yesterday. I wanted to have this conversation before he did what he did." so he's mad he jumped the gun and not for what he did? Yes a total Asswipe, both of them. I don't talk, he isn't worth my breath at the moment. "You see, I recognize your friends, so when you kissed him I took pictures. So you are faced with two options now", he says as my heart rate increases and sweat breaks out over my palms, "either become my brothers and my sex slave, or I post the pictures and expose them." I scoff, "and who are they?", I retort defiantly, my hands balling into fists at the audacity to blackmail me. He chuckles, "My little sister is a huge Light 7 fan, a star or whatever their fanbase is called, I knew it right away, and three together, which means the other four are somewhere close by", he crosses his arms and looks smugly at me, and I know I don't have a choice, I can't let him expose them. I just need to steal the phone, or phones and delete everything, but till that happens I need to play along. "Fine, but only when they are back in Korea, not before that. Deal?" I say stretching my hand towards him, inwardly cringing at the prospect of touching him. He looks intently at me, biting his lip, "Deal", he finally says. I'm not telling him when they are leaving, he doesn't know where I live, yet. He'll probably find out, but god I hope not. He takes my hand and we shake briefly, me dropping his hand as soon as I can. I push past him to the door, but he grabs me, "no, no, the deal is only sealed with a kiss. I inwardly scream and close my eyes, pressing my lips together so he can't gain entrance. I feel his gross lips on mine and his foul breath rushes through my nose, making me gasp. I pull away and run out the door, tears leaving my eyes. I climb the stairs, but keep going, I need to calm down. When they see I cried, all hell will break loose. Once I'm sure I can keep the tears at bay, I find the restroom and wash my face, especially the eyes, so they don't look red anymore. I slowly find my way to the restaurant and see everyone from the tour seated at the table, including Asswipe, an evil smile directed at me. I greet them as I walk past them, looking for my real friends. I find them in the back, out of sight of the other people, and when I take my place, Kaiden jumps up, "Wait here, I'll get you breakfast", and he dashes away. "So what did that guy want?", Vere asks me. Shit he noticed him too, I thought he was too preoccupied with Kaiden. Shit, what do I tell them? I can't tell them he's blackmailing me. My mind blanks and I zone out, Not good, it will make anything I say more unbelievable. " Oh nothing much, just some change in the outfits for two of my dances." I gratefully smile at Kaiden when he places a plate with delicious food in front of me and I dig in right away, mainly to make them drop the subject. I can see Foxy shooting me glances, a question written all over his face. I know what he wants to know, and when everyone is looking at their plate, I shake my head at him, and he sighs in relief. I'm eating slowly, just so they stay a little longer. I really don't want them to go. I'll be alone again, and normally I'm fine alone. But lately I'm not, and I know exactly why, and it's going to be an adjustment when they leave, and go back home. "Oh, I'm sorry, Nadja. Last night was supposed to be our night texting, I uh was otherwise occupied", Vere stumbles over his words, looking worried. I didn't even notice there were no texts and I shook my head at myself. They completely take my focus and I forget everything. "Oh? What were you doing that kept you from texting me?", Lindsy looking from me to Vere and back again. And she heaves a frustrated breath, clearly vexed with the language. I smile wickedly at him, and he glares back. "Probably the same as what you were doing last night", he says with a cheeky grin. I giggle, "I highly doubt that. You were lacking a person for what we were doing", and I placed my elbow on the table, resting my chin in my hand, looking at him with a big smile. He looks at Foxy and Kaiden and I follow his gaze and see Kaiden beet red from blushing, aaah how sweet, still blushing when we talk about it, but when he is in the action he's another person, full of confidence in his prowess. Foxy just looks smug, there is just not another word for it, smug. Vere grins big and winks at me. When Lindsy stands up, Vere and Kaiden follow, and I inwardly groan. They are leaving. I steel my face and plant a smile on my face, I know it will look fake, but it's the best I can do at this moment. Their leaving fills me with dread. In a couple minutes I have to fend for myself again, it's exhausting to say the least. I get up too and gather all the dishes, Foxy helps and Kaiden follows. Vere and Lindsy are completely occupied with each other, but I don't blame them, I know the feeling. While we bring the dirty dishes to the drop off cart, they are already out of the restaurant. They are waiting for us in the lobby and I follow them slowly to the exit. Kaiden embraces me tightly. Lifting me off my feet, and whispering in my ear, "enjoy yourself but come home to us, okay?", clearly clueless to my state of mind. When my hands slide in his hair he gives me a goodbye kiss, deep but short. His place is taken by Vere who pulled him away, "my turn." He wraps his arms around me and plants his face in my neck, breathing me in, "I missed you last night", I whisper for him only. He groans and tightens his hold. Then his lips claim mine and I melt more. Kaiden started it and I think once they are gone, I'll be a puddle right in the entrance of the hotel, with people trampling all over me. Vere gets pulled away next and his lips detach from mine with a small pop, and a whine from him. Foxy chuckles when he slides into my arms, which are open and waiting for him. "Be safe, please? I couldn't bear it if something were to happen to you", he whispers quietly near my ear, his arms have me in a hold so strong, I'm surprised it doesn't hurt. "I'll try" is all I can promise him and he knows it. He buries his head in my neck and starts to leave small kisses, working his way up, over my jaw. And right before he kisses my lips, he smiles seductively. This kiss is much more demanding than the other two, sucking my tongue right out of my mouth into his. "Wow", I hear Lindsy say, "now I want to kiss him too." I break the kiss and laugh at her, Foxy clueless why I'm laughing, so I kiss him quickly and push him out of the hotel with a heavy heart. I embrace Lindsy, "thanks for coming. It means a lot. And thank you for bringing them." She smiles, "take care", and she follows the boys and the feeling of loneliness washes over me. I plop down on one of the couches in the lobby and wait for the rest. I'm so absorbed in my thoughts I don't hear someone stopping behind me. I jump when someone's breath tickles my ear, and at the smell I know who is behind me and my whole body tenses up. I look around, and luckily we're surrounded by people. "Thank you. Now I've got more pictures", and he laughs evilly, you know like those villains in movies, as he walks away. Fuck, I forgot. I mentally slap myself, great, just great, more pictures to delete. Aubrey plops herself beside me with a groan, and I look at her amused. "Nice of your friends to follow you here", she comments, hoping for me to tell her who they were. "Yes, yes it was", is all I give her, I don't know her well enough yet, maybe that can change. They all have their little clicks and I'm the weird outsider looking in. I'm not sure if I want to be in though. "So I noticed Fiona and Mina dumping you, so to speak. What happened?" She asks next, and I shrug, "I don't know to be honest. I can't remember anything that could lead to this." She scoffs, "oh come on. There must have been something that happened?" She tries again, and I shrug my shoulders again. I'm not telling her my theory. She keeps looking at me, and when she sees I'm determined not to say anything, she switches tactics. She's a nosy one, "your friends are hot, are they single?" And she looks hopeful. Well they are single, well maybe Vere isn't, who knows, but I'm not telling her that. She is too eager, and I don't like it. "Nope", and I shake my head to emphasize the meaning. She pouts, "bummer. All the hot ones are always taken", she whines, and she actually stamps her feet. Seriously, what the fuck. I take out my phone and occupy myself, I don't feel like talking anymore, and luckily she gets the hint. Soon the others join us and chatter rises up around me, but I don't join in. I know I'm isolating myself, but I don't care. I'm too down, and cranky. Finally Asswipe arrives and we exit the hotel and get on the bus waiting for us. I take a nap on the bus, still not feeling like joining in on the fun. And that is how my day drags on, but still surrounding myself with people.

Finally the bus pulls up to the hotel. This fucking day dragged on it's not funny. When I enter the hotel last, I make a beeline for one of the chairs, tucked away in a niche, on my way there I grab a magazine. I sit down and hide behind the, what is it even, oh great sports. Not my fancy, but that doesn't matter now. I wait for everyone to leave and then I even wait five more. It's a good thing I waited, because Asswipe gets out of the elevator again. He looks around, looking for someone, and I shrink into myself, making myself as small as possible. I peek over the magazine and finally he gets on the elevator again, and as soon as the doors close, I'm out of my hiding spot, the magazine lands on the floor. I run for the stairs and run up one floor. There I take the elevator to my floor and enter the room I shared with Kaiden and Foxy. Looking at the beds, memories flood my mind and I sink to the floor. Thinking back on all the touches and kisses. The 'love' I felt when they held me. I'm sad but the tears don't come, instead a soft smile of fondness and love, yes love, dances around my lips. I feel my lower lip with my fingers, thinking of Foxy's kiss this morning in the lobby. So full of longing, I melt all over again just thinking about it. Stop, stop I can't keep wallowing in self pity, It'll only hurt me. I get up and strip naked, putting the dirty clothes in the bag assigned for it. I go to the bathroom and take a shower, washing away everything dirty, but also all negativity clouding my mind. I get refreshed and a much clearer headspace. I exit the bathroom and hear my phone chiming with the arrival of a text. I smile big and grab my phone and crawl into bed, making myself comfortable. Who is it going to be now?

Cowboy: Hey Nadja. I heard from Kaiden that the show was a success, and you danced beautifully again.

Me: Hi, thank you. How are you? And the others? I'm so lonely, wish you were here.

Cowboy: Me too, me too. So how was your day?

Me: Please don't make me relive it. It was absolute torture.

Cowboy: That bad? Okay, fine. What do you wanna talk about?

Me: Your day? How was the shoot? Finished? By the way, which songs are gonna get the MV's?

Cowboy: My day was busy, lots of filming and no not finished just yet. The first song to be released is DNA, then Blood, Sweat and Tears, followed by Mic-drop.

Me: Great choices. I approve. So what's the plan for tomorrow?

Cowboy: Just the same as today. But now everyone is here again it will go a lot quicker, hopefully. And keeping those two from sulking all day is extremely tiring.

Me: Are they that bad? Really?

Cowboy: Oh god yes they're that bad. Whining all day, about everything, and then hours whispering to each other, smirking like maniacs. And this forces us to talk to them, to get them in line, so the silent treatment isn't really working. Please come back home and save us.

Me: Nope, sorry I can't just yet. Now matter how much I want to though. Still three more shows to do.

Cowboy: Yeah, I know. It just sucks.

Me: But I look forward to these chats every night. They help me through the day. So thank you for making time for me.

Cowboy: Always, baby. Sorry but I gotta go, Xavier is forcing all lights out. It's gonna be an early day for us.

Me: Baby?

Cowboy: Uuhhh oops that slipped out, sorry.

Me: 'Giggles'. But I like it when you say it.

Cowboy: Sleep tight and dream of me, baby.

Me: Bye, my sexy cowboy.

I charge my phone and burrow further into the covers, trying to sleep. I think I kinda feel flattered with them being difficult when I'm not there. At least I hope it has something to do with me. Even with the visit last night, I still miss them the most. I can't wait to be in their arms again, and then I'll never leave again, so long as they let me of course. If they don't want me anymore, I'm not going to force myself on them. This thought depresses me so I steer clear, and don't dwell on it. Instead I recall every kiss and sigh in absolute bliss before finally falling into a dreamless sleep.

The next day is exactly the same as the one before, nothing exciting happens and the show goes smoothly. At the end, all decided to hole up in one of the rooms and play drinking games. I decided to join, even Asswipe joins, him not being that much older than us. Alfred suggests truth or dare, when we all are seated in a circle in Alfred and Chester's room. I, and luckily a few others don't want that one, "what about never have I ever?", I ask. All agree and Asswipe starts. "Never have I ever had sex with a man?" and he smiles evilly at me, knowing I have to drink, just as every girl, and Alfred and Chester. "Never have I ever sucked a cock", Micheal says, looking around at everyone, curious to see who has. All the same people, except Aubrey, drink again. Really she never has, okay never mind, I don't want to know. The glasses that are empty, get filled again and it's Tim's turn. "Never have I ever had sex with the same sexe?" Fuck, I need to drink again. I lift my glass, and Alfred and Chester drink with me. Nobody joins us. Our glasses get filled again, and I feel the alcohol taking a little effect already, lowering my inhibitions. This needs to stop, or I'm going to get completely wasted, which I hate. I don't want that to happen here. "Never have I ever had sex while somebody watches", Luke says, eyes on me like he knows. What the fuck is happening, this feels planned to get me wasted, runs through my mind when I'm the only one who drinks. "Never have I ever had a threesome", Mandy says, a gleeful smile on her face, which makes her ugly. I pick up my glass, again it's just me, Jesus have they boring lives, and I giggle. The alcohol's effect gets stronger and stronger, I need to stop real soon. Luckily it's almost my turn. In the back of my head there's this small voice trying to get my attention, but I can't focus enough. Alfred is next, so maybe now I don't have to drink. "Never have I ever felt the sting of the soulmate mark", fuck me, but this stays secret, so I don't drink and keep my face blank. No one else drinks and finally it's my turn. I think and think, but nothing comes to mind, it needs to be something they have done and I didn't. I've made up my mind, and this will help me get out of here. "Never have I ever wanted to get out of here as much as I do now", and I grin at them, all looking shocked, and I raise my glass, drink it and stumble to the door. I need to be quick. In the hallway I speed up as much as I can, which isn't really anything, but my mind is so far gone, that it looks like I'm flying. At the elevators I jabb the button repeatedly till the elevator arrives, the doors open and I get inside, and when I turn around, I can see Luke and Asswipe in the hallway, walking towards me. The doors close before they reach me and I sigh in relief. The elevator stops and an elderly couple enters and I squeeze myself into a corner, trying not to bother them. When we reach the lobby the couple gives me a polite bow of the head and exits the elevator. I peek my head out and when I don't see them I get out myself and plant myself on a couch. 3 minutes later, they emerge, and spot me right away. They don't look too happy, now they can't try anything since there always will be people around in the lobby. I wave and both get back on the elevator to go to their room probably, I don't know and I don't care either. I sit here for another hour, dozing off and waking up again when my head snaps to the side with a jerk. Okay with the next one, I'm going up to my room. I need to sleep this off. I doze off again, and when I wake up again, I'm in a bed.

'Oh shit, what the fuck happened?'