Emotions lost

I'm not surprised he doesn't believe me. I saw the disbelief. He distracted me with sex instead of asking more about it. And now he wants to talk. I regard him silently, and he looks back, anger all over his face. He hasn't moved and is still inside of me. I squeeze my walls, and he growls warningly at me. Internally I laugh. He can't control me, but for now, I'll play along. 

"Okay, fine. Luke didn't drop me. That's all I'm going to say. It's not your concern." And I cross my arms over my chest, creating a nice cleavage. His eyes dip down multiple times, and he licks his lips. 

"Stop distracting me, you're naughty," he growls, and his hands grab my waist, and he squeezes hard. 

"Why? You distracted me earlier," I purr seductively before licking my lips as I look at his gorgeous lips.

"Who did that to you? I'm not going to let this go before I know everything. So you might as well tell me right now." He comes closer and stares at me, waiting, lips pursed. 'Fuck. What should I tell him.? All of it or only half? And which half?'  The thoughts fly through my brain, and I can't seem to settle on one. 

I heave a deep breath, "Fine. The show manager has developed an unnatural interest in me. He got to me while I was alone, but he couldn't get far. I escaped before anything bad happened." I quickly say to get it over with. And this way I hope it's enough for him. 

His eyes burn with anger, and because of where we are, it looks like steam is coming off him. 

"Keep this to yourself, please. The others believe the lie." I ask him as he comes out of the angerdaze he was in. He doesn't need to know Foxy knows a little more than him. He hugs me, molding us together like one. He nods in my neck and sighs.

"I'm sorry. I'm being difficult. I can't stand the idea of you being in harm's way. No matter how." He breathes next to my ear. I melt internally and tug him closer. I want to crawl into him, and it still wouldn't be enough. I stroke his hair, and when his lips trail over my shoulder, I move my hips a little and get rewarded with a moan. 

"You want more?" He purrs and pulls out slowly. The empty feeling comes back, and he makes me stand and then turn. He lifts my leg and places my foot on the bench. I bend forwards, and he slides snug up into me, and we both moan at the feeling. His cock throbs inside of me, and he moves his hips, slowly pulling out before pushing in. All the while, his hands roam over my back and sides to my front and then back again. 

Gradually he speeds his thrust up, and then his left arm wraps around my collarbones and pulls me up. My back against his chest. His right arm snakes around my waist and up to grab one of my breasts. He keeps thrusting, and I'm immobile in his arms. They tighten, squeezing the air out of my lungs. Our moans and skin slapping echoes through the cave, sounding louder. 

"I can't ever let you go. You feel so right. Tightly gripping my cock and squeezing. So, so good." He whisper-moans next to my ear, and his breath fans my cheek. From cold stares to never letting me go is quite the turnaround. I'm wondering if he knows what he is saying? Or is his mind too clouded by pleasure? I whimper every time he hits that spot, and it adds a little pain. It feels like he is still a little angry. He is more forceful and possessive. His arms tighten more again when he grows bigger and twitches and throbs inside of me. 

I know he's close, and I turn my head, and he kisses me. His tongue is mimicking his cock. When he can feel my walls twitching and convulse with my impending orgasm, he growls.

"Come with me?' And the command sends me over the edge. As I'm shaking and shuddering, he thrust a few more times sloppily until he explodes and shoots his cum into me. Both panting and relaxing in each other's arms. He kisses my neck and shoulders softly. He ends his trial over Kaiden's tattoo, and there he gives me hickey's coloring the rose. I'm not sure as I can't see it, but it sure feels like it. When he is happy with the result, he turns me around, and in doing so, he pulls out of me. Internally I mourn the loss of him, but I'm not telling him that. He continues worshipping my body and coloring the skin with love marks. The last he creates is right over the soul mark, and an unexpected orgasm floods my body at the exquisite feeling the soul mark produces at his touch. 

The strength has left my legs, and I sink on the bench, submerging completely. He is standing before me and looks down. Eyes are unreadable again, and it feels like I lost him. Again with the mixed signals. He confuses me. Finally, he climbs out of the spring and dresses. It looks like our enchanted get-together is over. I smile, not showing my true emotions, and he helps me climb out too.

 My clothes dry me, but it will feel extra chilly once we walk back home. I want to give him my coat. He has been walking without one for longer than me, but he doesn't take it. Well, he does as he shakes his head. He places it over my shoulders, saying.

"No, I don't need it. I'm not cold. You take it." He kisses my nose after he zips me up. Now a kiss? I'm getting dizzy with all the signals. It's like a tennis game, left, right, left, right. I don't ask him. I can see the struggle behind the emotions he uses to mask it. He takes my hand, and we leave the cave, back to civilization. 

I think I'll keep the cave secret from the others. This feels like it's just for us, even though he is not in it with his whole heart like me. I lead him out of the forest, knowing it better than him, and the journey is a silent one. Both of us are thinking. I'm thinking about us, him and me. I don't know what he is thinking about though. My house comes into view at dome point, and we make our way over. We enter, and I walk towards the stairs. 

The house is silent, so the others must be asleep. Arriving at the stairwell on the first floor, I want to release his hand, but he holds on. "What are you waiting for?" He whispers. I look at him. 'Doesn't he want to sleep in his bed? Does he want to spend it with me?' I turn, saying nothing, and walk up to my room, and he follows, squeezing my hand. I walk to the shower and turn it on to get warm. I strip and get under and watch him undress. 

When he is naked, I let my eyes wander over him, and his cock twitches. He chuckles and joins me under the spray. He embraces me, and I let my head rest over his heart. One of his hands softly caresses my back while the others strokes my head. He hums softly, and I drift off to that half-awake state. After a few minutes, he turns the shower off and grabs a towel drying my body and hair. He gets a second towel and dries himself before brushing my hair. I melt at the attention and care he shows, and when he finishes, I kiss him softly. 

He hugs me tightly, kissing back. As he pulls back, his arms fall away, and he leads me out of the bathroom right to my bed. He crawls on it first and lies down. He pats the spot next to him, and I crawl after him and lie down. He gathers me to him, and I sigh at the feeling of his blazing skin against mine. He kisses the top of my head.

"Thank you for finding me and telling the truth. Now sleep. We'll talk more in the morning. Good night Nadja."

"Good night Quinn and I close my eyes, and I realize I'm exhausted. He wore me out, and sleep comes knocking right away. I'm asleep before him, and I don't know how long it takes him to fall into oblivion. 

The sun feels warm on my face, and I smile. The hard chest under my face tells me he stayed. We were back extremely late last night, so if he wanted to leave, he might as well have done it before we reached my room. But he chose to stay with me, and I'm happy about it. He is the most difficult to read. These last weeks he's all over me, but now a wall has sprung up, and he is unreachable. At least that's how it felt in the cave after I omitted the truth. The sex was a little angry, not that I minded it, it felt great, but the withdrawal of his emotions is painful. I need to figure out how I lost it and how to get it back. 

I stay where I am, I do need to pee, but I don't want to lose his touch. His arms are around me, and his face is relaxed in sleep, and he takes my breath. He is that gorgeous. He should be arrested for his sin, breaking hearts all over the world with his looks. It's just incomprehensive with how he looks, it's surreal. After ten minutes of me swooning over his face, he stirs and cracks his eyes open. They find mine, and a little smile finds his lips. 

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" He gruffly asks. His voice like this, more gravelly because of sleep, is sexy as hell, and I shiver in his arms. "Are you cold?" He asks as he feels me shiver, but the question has the same effect, and I shiver more. I shake my head and hide my face in his chest. He chuckles and kisses my head.

We lie like this for a while, and I almost fall back asleep when Quinn slowly gets up, releasing me. I'm instantly flooded with cold, and I suppress the shiver. "I'm hungry, so I'm gonna go get breakfast. Are you coming?" He asks as he looks down on me. 

"You go ahead. I'll be down shortly," and I sit up. He gathers his clothes and walks to the door without getting dressed. He opens the door but turns to me, "I'll see you soon." he winks and leaves me alone. I groan and plop back down. I cover my eyes with my arm and try to sort through the mixed signals and my thoughts. I'm getting nowhere, and I sigh and file it away for later. I get up and take a quick shower before my morning routine. 

Once I'm dressed in black leggings, a purple t-shirt sporting a dancing boombox, and my converse I go down the stairs towards the kitchen. Everyone is at the table so I make my way over. All greet me, and I see Jimin is still missing. Must be getting dressed. 

"You found him. Did you have to look long?" Adam asks me as soon as I sit down. I shrug my shoulders," what is long?" I ask back, and he looks at me in thought, thinking hard on how to answer me. 

"Two hours?" He tells me, and I smile at him, "then no, I didn't need to look long. He was in the forest, and we talked before returning here." I finish my breakfast and get up to clean my dirty dishes away. The others haven't finished yet, and Quinn is still not down, and I get a little worried. 

To cope with the worries and not come across as too clingy. I go in search of my laptop. I look through the entire house, but it is not here. I rack my brain where I left it, but the last time I used it was when I got the email about the tour, and that was weeks ago. I distinctly remember wondering why my laptop was in the recording studio, but it isn't here. There is one last place I can look, although I doubt it's there.

I amber up the stairs and walk to the back door. I walk towards the dance studio and as I near it I can hear music. When I open the door, I see Jay and Quinn goofing off as they freestyle. I'm glad Quinn is among us again, and he looks more like himself.

"Don't mind me. I'm just looking for my laptop. Have you guys seen it?" I ask them when they spot me. 

"Nadja!!!!" Jay happily yells, clearly not listening to me at all. He runs over to me and grabs my hands pulling me to where Quinn is. He dances and pulls me with him and I give up and dance with them till Tyler informs us dinner's ready.

After dinner, we retreat to the living room and watch a movie. I'm sitting between Adam's legs, Tyler's head is on my lap from the right side. Quinn's head from the left. This way I'm surrounded by males. I sink more into Adam and his arms wrap around my waist. My right-hand strokes through Tyler's hair while the left strokes through Quinn's hair.

The movie isn't holding my attention and my mind drifts as I lie my head on Adam's shoulder. During the movie, he kisses my neck before watching the movie again. He does this a couple of times and the gesture stirs something deep inside of me and I know I'm in love. The gesture feels like love, and so my suspicions grow. 'Can they all be my soulmates? Did I give them the mark? One I know for certain, but the others not so much. But just as with Foxy, Adam acts lovingly.' 

After the movie is over, all stir and stretch. "How about a round of spin the bottle? We haven't played in so long." I ask and Kaiden produces an empty bottle. I spin and get up, walking towards the stairs.

"I'll see the lucky winner upstairs." I wave and just as I was about to round the corner, Xavier's voice stops me.

"You need to spin again, Nadja."

His voice sounds higher than normal and I wonder why that is. His face is blank and as I come closer I see the bottle pointing at Vere. He is one lucky guy. He pouts cutely and I giggle and wink at him. He smiles back and I spin again and turn around and walk away. I tell everyone a good night and climb the stairs to my room. I enter my bathroom and do my nightly routine. When I pick up the strip with the birth control pills I drop them in shock.

I didn't take one last night.