Chapter 11 & Rudy's Letter

Perhaps it was just wishful thinking that things would stay that way forever. As time passed it seemed we no longer needed each as much as we used to. Bri now on her was left with her thoughts. Thoughts so terrifying you couldn't even stand them but, like always Bri found a way to move forward. Even now Bri still suffers from her dark thoughts. Why did her parents die? Why did her brother disappeared? Why was she still left standing? However no one could had the answers to Bri's questions. Though if you were to ask me my answers would be these. Your parents were needed in heaven. Your brother dissapeared because he thought it would be easier on you. Your still alive because people like me need people like you. Perhaps my answers wouldn't be enough but then again no one had asked me. I loved Bri and more than again I needed her. Though that might make me selfish since I already had Evan but Bri had always been there by my side. When my father said he hated me. When my father and I cut ties. But most importantly the time I came out. Sure coming out might not seem like a big deal to most but for me it was. I was told it was a sin. That I was tainted and a work of the devil but Bri made it easier. She told me that I was loved and while it was against the Bible, she would always stand by me. She said that love was love no matter, who I loved. That in order for others to accept me, I first had to accept myself. I didn't have alot of self love or self confidence but those were two things she said I needed in order to accept who I really was. I know she right about everything back then and even now. Whatever I falter she is always right there to pick me back up again. So I guess in a way some things changed but others stayed the same. I'll always believe it was Bri who saved me, and not me who saved Bri.

Dear Readers,

I hope in my story you can find something you relate to. I ask Ann to write my story because I think others can learn from it. You don't know what you have till it's gone and that's a fact. I took having eyesight for granted. I took friendships for granted too. I took love for granted as well. I never realized I had so much until I lost it all. I lost my eyesight as a result I push not only the people I loved away but also my closest friends. Bri showed me their was more to life then the things I had lost. Bri said our disabilities aren't what limit us, it's us that limits ourselves. Our disabilities are aren't who we are, they're a part of who we are. Eyesight doesn't make us who we are, we make ourselves who we are. Maybe can can't relate to me but I hope that maybe you can relate to Bri or Ashley. Ashley lost her whole family in a car accident. She lost her ability walk that day as well but Ashley has never once allowed her disability to stop her from moving. Ashley who's wheelchair bound has three part time jobs. She always watching younger kids and she works out her upper body. She never stops moving and I think that's one of the things I love about her. Then there's Bri who despite losing the people she loves finds other reasons to live. She isn't perfect and far from it actually. She's made some missteps along the way. She even tried to take her life a few times but she is strong. My favorite saying is your stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you know. I think that saying fits Bri perfectly. She got help and now she doesn't try to take her life anymore. One thing I love about Ann is something she said to Bri once, the choices we make in life are finale, there are no chances or do overs, and it's to late for Ryan but it's not to late for you. Ryan was one of Ann's friends but he killed himself one summer. I think she was trying to tell Bri that she could have the life Ryan never had. I hope maybe I have helped you in some way or form, just as my friends have helped me. Keep reading to find out just where life will take the three of us. From, Rudy.