Mama ; Mommy

Chapter 4

ARLENE MARIELLA's POV

I walked away from their house. As I walked further I felt someone following behind me, I ignored it because maybe I was just walking here as well.

I was about to walk closer to Mcdonald's when two men harshly grabbed my arm.

"What! Let me go!" I shouted, frustratingly.

"No, we'll taste you first before you get away." Said by the man in front of me. He looked all over my body, the viscosity of his gaze on me!

Another man covered my mouth and pulled me away. They took me to an unoccupied place that seemed so quiet. There aren't many households there either.

Their leader approached me and stroked my face down to my shoulder and chest but before he could touch my bottom, someone pulled him away from me. The two men on either side of mine suddenly disappeared! I looked back and saw them running! I would have chased them but I didn't have the strength, I was already weak from my heartache dramatically.

The man who saved me came up to me after he had beaten the man. He was not tired or sweaty after fighting.

"Are you okay, Miss?" his asked manly. His body is also quite broad and massive, like the guy I always saw in magazines. I covered my mouth as I turned my gaze to his face.

My God! He looks like Stewart; my boyfriend!

"What's wrong, Miss?" He raised a brow.

I immediately shook my head, like nothing happened.

"T-thankyou," I said, trembling.

He nodded. "I'll take him to the police, do you want to come?"

I nodded immediately, I wanted to come to do what I should do.

"Thank you so much again," I thanked again as we finished at the precinct. We're standing here in front of the entrance, ignoring the people who are staring at us intently.

"Welcome." That's all he said and immediately turned his back on me. I would have chased him but he immediately went in his car and pulled me away.

When I got home, I shed all my tears. I didn’t stop, not even screaming and sobbing out loud. I'm in pain, who cares?!

"Arlene, open it!" Mom knocked on my door one after another.

Why would Stewart let me walk alone if he knew that there were rapists in their area?

Wait a minute, Arlene! That's just one reason! He doesn't love you!

It made me cry even more after thinking that was right.

"Open it!"

Why does he have to swap me for her? To the girl he's always with and has time for him, huh?

Why did he have to trade me just because I didn’t have time with him?

The door opened and my Mama appeared. She instantly came over to me after seeing my situation and hugged me tightly.

[Mama: Mommy]

"Mama is just here, okay?" She said in the middle of my crying.

[Mama: Mommy]

I nodded, slowly. And burying my face against her chest, I tightened my hug with her even more.

"What's your problem, hija?"

"I'm so tired, Mama,"

[Mama: Mommy]

"With what? Tell me, I'm worried about you." She asked, caressing my back carefully.

"I'm so tired of being a good pretender, Mama... I'm so tired. I'm so sick, why does he have to do that to me? I gave all my best, Mama... but that's not enough for him. He sought in others what I could not give him. I'm so tired, I want to rest but I can't. I love Stewart so much, "

—

"Did you eat first?" Mama asked after I burst into tears. She is still sitting here on my bed, I am just facing the dark sky outside, there are many stars.

[Mama: Mommy]

"No. I'm full, Mom, thank you." I replied, still staring at the window.

"Arlene, don't be like this. It's not good for your health not to eat—"

"But, I ate earlier. I'll just go down, when I get hungry I promise." I blurted out just so she could stop from speaking too much.

"He's not in control of your world so don't stop it from spinning."

That's what she said before leaving my room. I told her everything, at first, I was still hesitant but I could no longer bear the pain. I'm not a robot to be numb all the time. That day ended with all I did, crying. That's all I did to relieve the pain I was feeling.

The next day I did nothing, nor did I go to school. My whole body is weakening, I am definitely mentally exhausted, it's a good thing that Riana doesn't inquire about me anymore. Mama just made my excuse letter and gave it to Riana for all my subject teachers.

I went down to the kitchen to have a little appetite for food. Honestly, last night my stomach didn’t have the strength to walk to the kitchen, even if they're rumbling inside, hurting my stomach to force myself to eat.

It's a good thing they're gone, that's when I went down. No one in the living room and kitchen. I didn’t even bother them with whatever they were doing.

Bacon and a few spoonfuls of rice made me so hungry. It's too bad for me to continue to be a beggar in my appearance, a Chinese beggar. It's embarrassing to come in looking like this, maybe my classmates will celebrate with me. Especially Riana. Oh, God, that woman is very talkative.

After I ate I just jogged outside, of course just in the back of our house.

I just circled the yard. I look like a fool. Even though our maids notice me they still don’t bother me. Instead, food was left on the table there. I think it's a snack, I'm afraid they'll talk because they said it on paper!

The effort! Hope for a few rounds I will sit down and eat first. It was just a sandwich so it ran out quickly. I don’t know how many hours I’ve been in the back of our house. As soon as I saw the sky turn more and more orange, I only knew the time.

Maybe with too much thought I never noticed everything around me. When it got dark I decided to take a bath and eat so I could rest early.

The next day I woke up early. I feel a little better, my face is better. I'm not Chinese anymore hehe. Chinese and brunette? jokes.

"Are you okay, best?" Riana asked worriedly next to me. After our two more morning classes, we are now walking to the Cafeteria. With Blair busy reading something.

"Yeah, I'm strong!" She was surprised by what I said but finally just nodded. I must have looked like a fool with a sudden laugh. Send me to the pawnshop and pawn at the nearby Mental Hospital.

I read a book. I hope so, love stories are really what I'm reading. Done eventually tearful! That's when I cried again, I felt like I'm the one who died!

I am in pain for Cooper and Agatha. It's hard to get sick like that, then you‘ll fall in love? Even if you know that in the end, you won't be who you are for the rest of your life, you will gamble, you will get hurt, just for the short-term of Stewart and me. We haven't broken up yet but I'm crying right away. Cooper and Agatha are still good. Even until death they still love each other. They just keep being real, even when there is no certainty of their lives.

What if the two of us were like that? Will he love only me? Maybe Ciara won't show up between the two of us, right?

Maybe he wouldn't trade me if I had that kind of disease. I thought that I would just be in pain so that he would love and take care of me even at the last moment.

"Best! Why are you crying? You've been there before, I can't understand you anymore." Riana shook my shoulder. I continue away from my tears.

"It's because I'm reading, and it's painful." That's all I can say because she doesn't know anything about my relationship with Stewart. I don’t know, as long as I’m afraid to tell her.

"Are you sure you're just reading? You're moaning so hard, so loud. They're already looking at us, look!" she pointed out to the people who were watching us. My God! It's embarrassing really, I surely look like a fool.

"Oh, read it! And let's see if you don't like it, you'll be mad!" I handed her the book. She took it and read silently.

After a while, she started crying too. It's even louder than mine! She cried so hard!

"They promised pathetically! There's indeed nothing in the world! There's only heaven, oh gosh! I'm in pain! Why did you give it to me?!" She complained to me.

"Wow! You idiot too, why did you read if you knew I was crying?!"

"Do I know?! I thought it was another reason why you were crying, that's why I was forced to read! Why are you crying so much?!"

"I couldn't stop the pain, right?! You?! Why are you crying too?!"

"It hurts too! Don't make me read that again, it hurts! My heart hurts, huhu. The author is very good!"

"That's enough! You two must eat, we might be late in the next class." Blair and I, looking at the book, also look like a Wattpad book.

We ate. There is nothing we can do about our argument, nor can the pain I feel be lessened.

When I got home I decided to give up on them all, of course, I made an excuse to Riana so she wouldn't have any doubts. I plan to visit Stewart today. I miss you.

I was walking towards the Parking Lot when I saw a familiar back. Stewart, standing next to the car next to our car. Manong Edward turned his back on the band then.

I quickened my pace towards him.

"Hi, baby!" he greeted me warmly. I even noticed a bunch of flowers behind him.

"Hello! Miss you," I tip-toed to kiss him on his cheek. He hugged me tightly. Awww, he smells great.

"I miss you too!" he said softly. Kissing my cheek back! He handed me the bunch of roses he was holding. I could smell it.

"Why are you here?" still staring at the flower I said.

"To see you, of course." he simply said. He pinched my cheeks.

"Ouch," I said artfully. It hurts, it looks like it has already bitten.

"Sorry," he kissed my cheeks and made me look like a tomato. Maybe I am now. He chuckled at me. I just stared at him and looked around.

"Who are you with?"

"My driver, he‘s teaching me to drive now. We're not in school, our advisor is absent." He pointed to their car quite a distance away.

"Ah, will you be careful? I need to go home, let's just have a video call? I'll text you when you get home, huh?"

"Sure, baby, go ahead. Go on! I'll be careful, I promise." He raised one hand as if swearing, I laughed.

"Baby, I love you!" I kissed his cheek again and waved goodbye. I smiled sadly at him as I watched him walk to their car.

After he got in, I immediately went to our car. I even hid the flower in the bag, it was enough because my bag was not very full of things.

They didn't even notice it when I got home. I took a shower and wore my pink shirt and pajamas. I went down to the kitchen to eat. I was watching TV when I decided to get milk.

I get glass in the drawer.

"Arlene, it's good that you're done eating!" I was surprised by Grandma‘s voice that made me let go of the glass. She immediately panicked when she saw what happened. I immediately took the broom and wiped the glass.

"Oh, I'm sorry hija. I surprised you, this glass was broken. I'm sorry, I'll replace it—" she said, full of concern..

"No, Grandma. That's okay, there are still a lot of glasses."

"Did you get hurt? What is that?"

My wound is only in my heart.

"Andeng! Please get a first aid kit in the bathroom! Oh lord, hija you're bleeding!" I looked at my feet. My eyes widened in shock. Oh my God! Yes, it's quite a little.

I didn’t feel it, am I numb? I'm already in too much pain to add this one.

After cleaning my wound we both sat on the sofa and watched the news at the same time. Drowsiness hasn't visited me yet, I'm nervous because I don't know.

"They were very worried about you last night, hija. Especially Laurent, he just couldn't talk to you because your Mama stopped him... Carlene is so scared, she doesn't know what to do because of what's happening to you." Grandma suddenly spoke next to me. I looked at her, she also looked at me and smiled sadly.

"I don't know if they'll go home now. Maybe later, they'll have a lot of work left because they came home early yesterday for you. I said you're crying, I don't know what I need to do because I don't know anything about what is happening to you. Fortunately, he arrived.”

"After you talked that night, she didn't eat. He only drank alcohol, your father was angry. He would have taken you upstairs in case your Mama came first because she was drunk,"

"Some maids also helped him to get your Mama up. Tired and crying, hija. Whatever your problem is, I hope you tell me. How many days of hardship will your Mama think of you, maybe you think she doesn't care about you but they love you so much, hija. "

"Your parents love you so much, I hope you don't remember them like that again huh? I'm begging you, hija. Because your Mama is weak, her chest always tightens whenever anyone thinks of anything."

A tear dripped down her cheek. She wiped it right away, I cried. I was even more hurt, why am I so stupid for not thinking about the people who care about me? Why is Stewart the only thing on my mind? I was too numb to think that my parents were having a hard time.

Why do I have to be numb all the time?