8 (K)Night In commoner's armor

"Wow, is this real?" asked the princess, for something like the fiftieth time.

It seems that a caged bird such as herself has quite literally never seen anything in her entire lifetime. I mean, a bird was enough to excite her.

'So I've shifted from being an accomplice in what will probably be seen as a kidnapping, to being a babysitter? Great,' I sighed to myself, watching as the princess ran happily through the market.

"Excuse me," coughed a man as he brushed past me, the distinct smell of fresh blood radiating off his brown robe.

'Ahh, bliss,' I thought to myself, before quickly snapping out of my reverie.

'Blood, princess, brown robe,'

It seems that my processing was a little slow, because before I could piece together the danger that all those things implied, the princess was already been carried off by the strange man. Her unconscious body lying limp in between his arms.

'Sigh, so a kidnapping happened in broad day- I mean late afternoon- and no one is going to do anything about it?' I wondered to myself, hoping that some idiot hero would step in and take care of the work for me.

"Quite a troublesome business," I sighed, before sneaking behind the man, following him down a series of alleyways.

Look, I'm no idiot knight in shining armor. Using simple common sense, it's obvious to see this guy must have some type of skillset. I mean, your average thug doesn't just whisk away a princess without having a plan.

"Hey Ricky, look'y what I got here," whispered the robed man behind the alleyway of a tavern.

"Who is that? Why'd you drag some kid along?" asked another voice.

'Sigh, now there's two of them,'

"She was dressed in some pret'ty good garments a few minutes a'go," the robed man continued, a sort of excitement audible in his voice.

"Garments? Aster what are you getting at? I got a few dolls waiting for me in the tavern, so hurry it up and spill," replied his comrade, annoyance audible in his voice.

"I'm saying we hol' er ran'som Ricky. Make a few silver coins. I'm sure nobles can a'least pay that much," replied the robed man, throwing the princess's unconscious body to the ground.

'I see. They're nothing but a bunch of idiots who don't even know the worth of the prize they have in their hands,'

"Hmm, you may be right. But what was a noble's kid doing unguarded? Aster are you sure you weren't followed?"

"Yeah, yeah. I think so," replied the robed man, before walking back to inspect the perimeter.

'I'm fucked,' I thought, before trying to make a break for it.

"Nu-uh," shouted the robed man, before a gust of wind knocked me to the ground.

'Of course, he knows magic,'

"I remember him. He must be her brother," smiled the robed man, three of his front teeth missing.

"Wait I can-" before I could finish my sentence the idiot kicked me in the head.

'Just wait till I-'

***

"You're awake. What took you so long, I thought you died," cried the princess.

It seems we were bound to a pole on opposite sides from each other.

"I'm starting to wonder if those books are really worth the trouble," I murmured to myself before surveying the room.

It looked to be a basement- albeit a poorly lit basement-. A flight of stairs lead from a door that presumably went to the ground floor.

A damp, rancid smell filled the already stale air, and some strange smelly liquid continuously dripped from the ceiling, making an annoying *tip* tap* sound.

'Amateurs,' I scoffed, as I wiggled my body around, realizing that the knife and needles were still in my pockets.

'What kind of idiots don't search their hostages, even if they are kids,'

"Princess,"

"Yes?"

"I need you to dig into my left pocket,"

"Ewwww, what are you thinking in a time like this?" the princess sniffled. She had clearly been crying for a while.

"It's a shame that they teach such perverted things to little girls in the palace," I retorted, dropping the honorifics and pleasantries.

"Now just listen to me and do it," I ordered.

"O-O-Okay," replied the princess, reaching into my pockets.

"What exactly am I loo-"

"N-Not there. Don't grab that," I pleaded, the princess seemed to have grabbed my member in the process.

'Sigh what poor positioning,'

"Balin, what did I just touch?"

"It doesn't matter, just grab the knife in my pocket,"

"Why do you have a-"

"You ask too many questions,"

The princess didn't seem to be a complete idiot, as she began to cut the ropes with the knife.

She took nearly 5 minutes to cut that rope, in that time I had managed to come up with a plan to get back at these idiot kidnappers.

"Took you long enough,"

"Whatever, let's just get out of here. I think I've had enough sightseeing for one day," said the princess before making for the door.

"And you think the people who put us in here are just gonna let you skip your way out of here?" I asked sarcastically, already putting my plan to action.

"Then what do you propose we do?"

"We set a trap and wait," I said, placing a bunch of needles -pointed part up- inside the cracks within the wooden floorboards.

Once I was done setting those up, I picked up the knife and placed it inside my sleeves.

"I'm killing the lights," I announced, before throwing a piece of wood I found lying at the light bulb, smashing it with a loud shatter.

"You're making noise!" the princess shouted.

'And I guess you shouting is helping?'

"That's part of the plan. Now get back in the ropes and wait for them to come," I instructed, before dragging her back to the pole.

"Wh-"

"Shh," I said, covering her mouth.

'It seems I'll have my first taste of human despair today. I do hope these guys scream a beautiful melody,'

==================================

Join the Discord: https://discord.gg/w9exHW6FBw

Join the P a t r e o n: https://www.p a t r e o n.com/lordofkaizen