Episode 2: How Did This Happen?

I felt that the entire world was about to come to a screeching halt, especially when I realized I could no longer speak in the English language.

Actually, no, that was me being idiotic... again. What is it with me and being that stupid? Anyway, I had a task that I needed to do, and I had no intention of failing it, anyway.

Still, I had to figure out my abilities, as I'm sure that I had to be a newborn of some sort... in this world, I mean. How did I come to that conclusion? Well, I had to compare and contrast the different other Sprite Drakes with myself, even if it was by eyeballing the size differences. If, by human standards, I originally had to be about a third of the way past 5 feet to 6 feet tall, then I must've really shrunk... and gotten hit by a polymorph spell.

Ugh... terrible example, I get it. As for the correct analogy, well... I must've gotten an understanding about what Sprite Drakes are like from Bahamut. So, if a baby human were to be 22 inches long, then that would equate to a baby Sprite Drake being about a single centimeter from wing to wing. Ugh... why did I have to say it that way? Now I need to explain the differences between Imperial and Metric measurements.

No, wait, something's about to happen. I don't know what it would be, but I need to figure that out now.

"Now, everyone in the Sprite Drake clans is about to come forth for our son's naming ceremony," said the Sprite Drake that had to be my mother. I wouldn't know how to differentiate the voices, not now...

"Yes, our son needs to have his name delivered by the God we serve," my father said. "May Lord Bahamut grant him a wonderful name."

I'm... officially confused. What in tarnation's going on, here? Bahamut has to grant my name, of all things?

"Indeed, my dear husband, true king of the Sprite Drakes," mother said... wait, dad's royalty?! "After all, this land we live in has the blessings placed by Lord Bahamut, and we need his support to stay around... thus, we need him to name our son, the heir of the kingdom."

I feel confused. It's like this needs to make sense, but the amount of sense it makes is less than zero. How is that even remotely possible, anyway? Ugh... I'd like to crawl under a boulder from a cliff a la Evil Queen from Snow White and die under the weight of it, please.

"So, my dear wife," father said. "How are the vassal states of the land doing?"

"No problems to speak of right now," mother said, "although, it's only been a week since the last report."

"I see what you mean," father said... ugh. I need to learn their names at this rate. "Well, here's hoping that nothing dangerous is going on over there."

Mother nodded her scaly head towards my father. "I agree with that," she said. "Of course, our poor son needs to be ready for anything, especially soon."

No comment... not like I could give one in my current form, anyway, but still!

"So true," father said. "I suppose we should give him proper tutors when he gets older, then."

If this were a novel, I'd call this an info dump... I'm probably going to call it that, anyway. Who knows?

#

Soon enough, approximately a week after I heard my parents speak about my naming by Bahamut, all the major nobles of the Sprite Drakes gathered in the same place. Heck, even all the minor nobles of the species came to my naming ceremony. I tried to get more info out of my parents, but they kept a tight lid on things pertaining to state business after that one time. What's an inquisitive guy like me to do?

"Okay, dear son," mother said to me the moment we were about to get going. "Be still during the whole thing and only lap at the water once with your tongue. That will help you get your name."

"That's how it happened with all the royal family, son," father told me, lifting me in his claws. "No point breaking the tradition even remotely soon, so we'd better get to it."

As my parents flew me over to the place where we needed to go to, I saw that a lot of Sprite Drakes were watching us fly on over to a special pool, and gave the Sprite Drake equivalent of a hand wave. That... made me thrilled, true, but I wondered what this pool would be like. Well, I'd be finding out soon, wouldn't I?

Anyway, as the trip itself progressed, I saw that there was a huge procession of Sprite Drake nobles awaiting the three of us, which meant something impressive... unfortunately, I don't even know what it is. Stupid lack of knowledge here... what did I do to deserve this? Ugh...

Still, we made it, and it gave me the chance to see a lot of fellow hatchling Sprite Drakes. I can't tell the difference between male and female hatchlings, mind you, but it's probably something ridiculous that I don't know how to expect. Then again... wait. Why am I even worried about this right now? I have a job to do, even if it's not so much 'job' as it is getting a name for myself, even literally.

I waddled over to the pool of water, looking for what could be any sign of embarrassment from the other Sprite Drakes, before I did what I had to do. I gave it one lap with my tongue, getting the water in my mouth, then... wait. Was I supposed to swallow this? It tasted like someone urinated in the water!

Before I spat it out, I looked for the source of the taste, which had to be a case of some idiot peeing into the water... only to find out that we were at a trap the whole time. What made me say this? Simple: there were a bunch of skeletal remains hiding in the bushes nearby. There was a necromancer that was going about, kidnapping the Sprite Drakes, right? Well... that had to be his undead minions.

At that point, I waddled backwards a few paces, then spat out the water, eliciting a large cry of horror from the nobles... which only got worse when I pointed at the bushes and said, "Bones."