Fuck I am the protagonist
Location: ??? Anime Expo 3:00 am
I let out a sigh as I make my way to a nearby convenient store
Man My legs hurt from standing and walking around, but a whole 9 hours is pretty nuts even for me. I knew I should've gone early with Jake; he bought the new Doom game, and I wanted to rip and tear some bitches.
After a few minutes of looking at Google Maps, I make it to the store to get painkillers, chips, and microwavable chimichangas, and oh how I love them, so I just stuff them into my backpack filled with a few items from the expo man it was expensive as hell but I do love my hobbie of anime figures and collectables as i and head outside to see a shooting star.
I look up and sigh. Some days, despite liking my current life, I wish for something new.
Man, sometimes I wish I could get them badass superpowers or be able to summon badass waifus, but—wait, why is it getting all brig—
BOOM WHOOOSH BRRRRR was all I could hear, and a bright blinding light came out of nowhere, and let me tell you, I wasn't ready for what was coming next.
GAHHH!! MY FUCKING EYES!!! I rubbed my eyes furiously as much as I could, and after a few painful seconds, I regained my vision, and well, what I saw wasn't very cash money.
What the fuck? My eyes widen in amazement and horror as I see a knight and a wizard and would assume a princess, or somehow I'm on some powerful TLC or some type of drug.
Oh my fucking god, don't tell me
welcome grand hero, we are in need of your... I put up a finger and she stopped as I turned away, headed to a corner, and threw up my hands.
hero are you alright!? While the princess is worried about her hero, Umar was in a state of panic, fear, excitement, and other emotions running around in his mind. It's really happening. I mean, it's amazing but horrible at the same time, but I've been summoned into them isekai fantasys!!
A time skip of y/n crying on the floor, then 2 years later yes there will be time skips I am too lazy
We currently see a beautiful landscape, and to the left we see a mountain of corpses, all ripped, shredded, pummeled, or with their skulls caved in. We see a party of two one was sweating at the site as she looks at the one lone individual dressed as a crusader laughing on top of his victims. This is known as their leader slash hero of their world, Umar.
THAT'S RIGHT, FOOLISH MORNGELS, BOW DOWN AT MY ULTIMATE CHAD ENERGY YOU FILTHY CASUALS, MUAHHA HHAAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHAH **COUGHS** *COUGHS* Oh fuck, that hurts.
Meet Umar, a weeb/degenerate with a questionable mentality/sanity after 2 years in the land of fantasy, he has progressively gotten more unhinged after countless fights and near-death experiences, and so the otherworldly hero, well, not a hero per se, more like a insane genocidal maniac. Also, a guy who loves to dress as an epic protagonist with drip despite him not liking other protagonists;
You know when you laugh like that while on top of a mountain of corpses, it really makes you wonder if you really are a hero to save our world or a demon king who will plunge the world into darkness.
Umar sighs at this "Yes, she's right, but if you were bribed into fucking the princess and queen like your own personal stress reliever, would you deny it?" "Perhaps, but holy shit, they are amazing in the bed. One was a short stack, the other a stacking milf."
Uamr turned and looked down at his companion due to how high he was and gives a sigh
you know Grayfia, you can make one question their actions when saying stuff like that.
Well, despite what Grayfia says, I'd say you are making quite the difference despite your unorthodox methods and the fact that we still have to get used to the fact that these demons are a problem ugh they are like paper-mache easily ripped apart .
My my serafall are you sure we should encourage this sort of behavior what if he decides to use more and more unorthodox methods
Even serafall knows what's up sometimes, to do good you got to make questionable choices.
Meet Grayfia and Serafall two of Umar's favorite DXD girls somewhat loyal to Umar, and his summons. How did he obtain them? Well, he found out from the goddess he met she gave him the chance to summon two companions for his journey
So being the Chad he is he summoned them at first they where confused and scared they explained what happened that's when Umar realized they came from different timelines where they died during the first war how did It happen he didn't know nor cared but after a bit of talking and spending time they grew a pretty strong bond every once in a while they do things with Umar that get out of hand due to his instability
The maid just sighs and looks at Umar with a wry smile and says, "Either way, can you at least seem less of a psychopath when beating your enemies to death?"
He just gives his maid a flat look. First off, that's what she said. Second, let me think about it. hmmm yeah no I kinda enjoy it
suddenly the magical girl appears with a cheerleader outfit—huh, where'd she get that?—hey, hey, umar, he's out there with the cary Let's go!!
We still have to deliver these potions to the wizard.
I give a long, annoying sigh. Yeah, whatever, let's get this done the faster we do it the earlier I get to clap milf and daughter cheeks
Serafall looks at me with a complex and jealous look. You're still sleeping with them? Like, how aren't you dead? with the amount of time I hear I would thought you could've dropped dead
While hearing that Grayfia was deadpanning at the fact that her master is still sleeping with the king's wife and daughter just because he bribed the hero (**cough cough** the daughter she's 18**), but he just shrugged and off they went.
cutscenes of Umar laughing while burning demons corpses with pure joy
We see a huge castle, and inside we see one lone individual saying, "Sir Umar, welcome back- Is it ready?" He sighs and just nods as we see a huge summoning circle, which is like 50 dudes in silly hats.
We see a beautiful woman with silver long hair, snow white skin, and huge knockers being constricted by her dress my god I wanna take her home
I truly thank you for saving our world, although I do have to ask, why use such cruel methods, my great hero?
I just look deep into her eyes and say with the most serious expression that a wise man once said, "Rip and tear till it's done."
In the background, we hear Grayfia mutter or a crazy man who enjoys mass genocide.
That too.
I swear you two need some help.
The princess gave a small sigh but gave a genuine smile and gave the crusader one big hug and farewell, but before they left, she took him to have some fun.
After a selfie with the wiz and princess, yes, my phone still works. I luckily had a solar power charger. That's pretty conventional, don't you think? After that, I was in the circle as it started to glow brighter and brighter, and then in a flash of light, I said one last thing.
Oh, and one last thing, I fucked the demon queen, and I'm taking her to rule my home world."
"UMAR!! YOU FOO--
MUAHAHAH YOSH YOSH UMAR-SAN THAT'S THE SPIR-
And just like that Umar with his girl's were gone, sent back to his home world to live a normal life......
Or so he thought but this was just the start of his journey across the multiverse
Location: unknown
Year: unknown
VROOM BRRR BOOM
AHHHHH!!!
Crashing sounds
wheezing ugh, my body... It hurts.... Heeeelp
I slowly got up, popped my shit back together, dusted myself off, and checked my surroundings lo and behold, I was somewhere I didn't recognize, so I looked up and saw something crazy
alright, who pissed on the fucking moon?
"Hmm we see Grayfia look around examining the landscape it appears the moon is shattered, but something feels off. Hey umar-
Grayfia stopped mid-sentence when she got a good look at him. He was younger, if she had to guess around 17 at the time in the other world he turned 19, but she noticed how different he looked, like a certain . flamboyant beaner he could say anything, Serafall beat her to it, and well, they were both smaller than usual and panicked.
U-UMAR! SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT. THIS ISN'T HOW WE LOOK RIGHT!?
He looked in horror. She was right. His clothes were too big, he was shorter, and he couldn't believe how he looked animeish and was someone else, which caused the trio to panic until it was interrupted by a ping from his phone and they read it.
Hey buddy god here and congrats you were chosen to be Isekai and twice no less so gave you a new body and well, Imma need you to mess with the story line a tiny bit I don't like the results so I chose you and gave you a hand also I want you to fuck sh*t up and left some goodies in your pack Money with an I.D. so yeah, I don't want you to struggle. I also got you a comfy home for you and future wives. I wish you good luck and RIP AND TEAR TILL IT IS DONE.
p.s. Do keep it entertaining. and gave you a travel system teehee
.....
....
....
Ding! : Welcome Host to the travel system
it was silent while Umar's companions were at a lost Uamr in the other hand was dead inside he slowly inhales then exhaled and screamed at the top of his lungs
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII JJJJJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSST WWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA GGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(T: I just wanna go home)
We currently see Uamr crying again on the floor like a little bitch and so Grayfia and Serafall trying to console him,
This began our flamboyant boy, journey throughout the multiverse.