Lazy

On a crowded metro I stand with my right hand clutching the bar and left hand in pocket, the metro rhythmically dances and makes me dance too. This is the twenty-fifth time I am seeing her , I guess. The older woman with lazy eyes and large lips, whenever you look at her see seems to be just woken from a deep sleep and still figuring out what is happening around her, she is maybe 10, no 12-15 years older than me. I get up at Shyambazar and she, I don't know where she gets up at, but she gets down at Park Street.

We lock eyes, everyday and everyday my heart skips a beat, maybe it does for her too, in the crowded metro while everybody is stacked against each other we are far yet close, we look at each other and just lock our eyes, sometimes its for a few seconds and sometimes we pass few stations, everytime the speaker yells out, "The next station is Park Street, the platform is on your left side.", and the door opens she vanishes with the office crowd, her favourite attire is her green kurti with white leggings, I have seen her wear that more than any other dress, and she looks good in it too.

The first time I saw her , I just looked for sometime and then minded my own business and again after sometime I looked at her and she looked back, those lazy eyes , my heart and breathe stopped. Everything vanished except her eyes, we both looked at each other until she drew her eyes away, from that day it has been a ritual for us to look at each other, she doesn't wear sindhur or a ring, so she isnt married or engaged but what about a boyfriend, she definitely doesn't want to date a young boy like me, but again I don't even know her name.

There was one time I stood beside her in the squashed metro, she smelled of a cheap soap, the one that you can smell when the bathroom door is open. We didn't talk we didn't even look at each other, as usual she got off in ParkStreet. What does she do in ParkStreet? She always looks tired, always, her eyes scream out for sleep maybe this is what attracts me to her, her laziness.

All we do is stare at each other we are too lazy to even approach each other, maybe someday we will ,but again its been 10 years, I don't even travel by metro now but maybe someday we will talk, maybe someday we will hold hands and drag ourselves out of the crowded metro and just run through the crowd of people and escape from the dark tunnel to the sunny open sky, holding hands and just looking at each other.