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Lazy Cultivator Wants to be Lazy

A lazy cultivation master has lived for a long time and decides to go into closed cultivation. When she finally goes through her breakthrough she sees her alternate universe life. She remembers a story she read in that life that is similar to the life she lives now. She realizes that those books were talking about the world she lives in. In the story, the main character was a stud horse who had a harem of 5 women. He traveled around the world, trying to grow stronger so that he could defeat the great evil boss that was being unsealed. She was apparently his golden master that helped him whenever he was in trouble, and during the last volume, she dies protecting them from that evil boss. She had actually double suicided with the evil boss. It was theorized by the fans that she was secretly in love with the stud horse, but due to being his master, she could only protect him from afar. But… she doesn't actually remember that kid??? When the hell did she pick up a disciple?!? Who is that weird fucker who is stalking her?!?! Now that she’s actually thinking about it, it never actually said in the book that she was that little bastard’s master. She just saw him whenever she was on one of her walks and decided to help because he wouldn’t leave her alone. Wait, didn’t that mean that little shit was actually stalking her?! Did he want her in his harem or something?!? Aw, hell no!!! She just wanted to relax. Why is it so hard to relax in this life? She just wanted to take a nap. Leave her alone already, ah! A stud-horse and his harem of strangely strong girls, two little spirit creatures, a puppy-like man that’s following her everywhere and so many more. Don’t even get her started on the situations these fools try to drag her into. She just wants to take a nap! Leave her alone and take your problems with you!!! (Note: This is not a serious story. I'm just doing this for fun.)

MercuryBars · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
3 Chs

Chapter two: What year is it? Do I look like a cliché to you?

Ye Liqiu walked out of the cave, lifting a hand to shield her eyes from the sun. She looked like a fairy, descending from the heavens. Anyone looking at her would fall to her feet. She looked so solemn that anyone would think she was thinking something serious. Although, the reality was very different.

'Why the hell was it so bright? My eyes fucking hurt. It's so fucking bright. Ugh, I want to take a nap.'

Very, very different. She looked around for a moment, trying to figure out where to go. No matter where she looked, all she saw were trees.

There was one thing that was known about Ye Liqiu. And that one thing was that she got lost as easily as breathing. Without any landmarks or familiar signs, she would never be able to find her way.

She thought for a moment. Then shrugged and started walking.'Whatever, I'll just pick a random direction. Maybe I'll find a good place to nap.'

Ye Liqiu walked for a while before she started to hear the sound of sword fighting in the distance. It seemed as though someone was in trouble.

She immediately paused.

'If I go now, I could get involved in something troublesome. But I do need directions…and maybe the year. Hmmm, Wait! If I follow the noise, according to novel theory, it will most likely be that little bastard and his gang of bimbos. Well, I think the fuck not! Not today, fate! You can't fuck with me! I ain't your bitch!!!'Ye Liqiu thought as she immediately turned and sprinted in the opposite direction of the noise.

As Ye Liqiu sprinted away from the noise, we see the little bast-...*cough* the harem protagonist, who actually is called Xu Feng, fighting against a group of people that are much stronger than he is. They were hired by someone he pissed off. As it usually is when reading those cultivation novels.

Usually, this is a scene where he goes through a crazy fight sequence, defeats them through some 'smart thinking' bullshit, and gets a power-up from some crazy treasure. Or a super-powerful master comes in and saves him, finds out he has genius-level potential, then offers to be his master. He might find one of his harem members, probably harmed grievously and/or poisoned in some way, and miraculously be able to heal them when no one else could.

But, I digress, I'm getting sidetracked. We don't give a crap about his shitty scamming pick-up skills. Or the bullshit luck that most protagonists have. Let's just go back to the fight scene.

"Just stop dodging already! If you surrender now, I might just leave you with an intact corpse!" laughed the leader of the masked people attacking the harem protagonist.

"Roll!"Xu Feng sneered at them, "I will teach you the difference between heaven and earth today!"

"You are courting death!" roared one of the masked men as they attacked.

The harem protagonist quickly dodged, but still got a small cut from the sword.

"Heh, is that all you are?" mocked one of the men.

Xu Feng's eyes sharpened and he moved quickly, stabbing the man through the neck with the sword in his hands.

The leader's eyes narrowed in surprise,'The Lightning Rabbit steps! How does he know those moves? They are only used by the Cloud Lotus Sect! I thought he was just an unknown brat with no backing! We cannot go against the Cloud Lotus Sect. We have to retreat.'

Just as the leader was about to make the hand signal to retreat, Xu Feng quickly slashed at him with the sword.

"None of you are escaping today!" Xu Feng concentrated the Qi in his body into the sword.

The sword flashed.

'Flaming Dragon Roar!!!'

And the world blazed red.

Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. I know it's been a while. A lot has happened and I've been really busy with college and trying to find an internship. It's been hectic. I don't know if I'll be able to update but I'll try. I won't give up! Thank you for reading and stay healthy!

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