The Orphanage

'If you can't produce an evidence proving your innocence, you might find yourself in prison. Do you understand?'

The moment Violet gained sentience at the age of four, she already figured out intuitively that she should watch her every move while she was surrounded by diverse children in group homes.

If someone knew that her hands had a will of its own during a mini-stroke, she would be treated like a freaky outcast.

That was why she really tried her best to keep it under wraps.

Dealing with this syndrome was so terrifying that she even contemplated taking her own life after her alien hands tried to choke her once without warning.

Violet had no memories of her biological mother, but perhaps, her tough condition was the reason why she abandoned her after giving birth.

This could either sound like self-pity or maturity that comes with age, but a part of her understood and even slightly empathized with her mother on why she had done it.

Violet's mother couldn't accept that her baby's hands were paralyzed after she was born.

Unfortunately, her mother had already left her at the church's doorstep before she could prove to her that she could gradually regain her faculties.

She couldn't deal with the anomaly so she chose to give her away to save herself rather than suffer together.

"Why didn't these mothers abort their babies earlier if they intend to leave them in the orphanage later? It's too cruel having to witness them force themselves to grow up this fast. " The social worker's pinched expression looked like she was trying hard not to curse as she watched the children play from afar. "Even reality can be cold and harsh despite being surrounded by a tight-knit family. How worse would it be if they had to face it alone at such a young age?" Her rigid posture began to relax after exhaling a deep sigh. "Every time I see their sad gazes, it's making me tear up."

"We don't know what their parents had gone through so we shouldn't crucify all of them without knowing their points of view." Another social worker said.

When Violet's blue eyes met with one female while she was sitting close to their circle, she didn't expect her name to be included in the conversation. "At least, Violet's mother was decent enough to leave her beautiful baby at the church and not just throw her in the dumpster like the others. Could these awful parents still sleep well at night thinking they had done a great job feeding these tiny humans to the wild dogs?"

Violet heard social workers discuss it openly while she was right there, thinking she was too young to understand.

Children could cry all the time but that didn't mean they were stupid.

They could easily get hurt from the adult's tactlessness.

"Babe. That's the least she could do. Honestly, that's below the bare minimum of what a mom should do and it doesn't deserved to be praised!" Her voice was so strong and loud that people who didn't know her well might think she was challenging another volunteer to a fist fight.

When she realized that some of the kids were looking at their direction, she lowered her voice and added. "I apologize. Knowing these orphan's dark histories made me feel frustrated about their parents for not being able to protect them. Some of these orphans had to put up with all kinds of harm, abuse and neglect. Addicted parents even planned to sell their own in exchange for drugs if they weren't rescued!"

"You don't have to apologize for telling the truth." Another woman clicked her tongue and shook her head in sympathy. "Sometimes, hearing these sad stories made me feel grateful of my family even if me and my mother argued a lot."

"This is why we are here. We have to make a difference by looking after their wellbeing." A woman said warmly, her eyes scanning every single one of the caregivers. "We might not be able to help everyone in this orphanage but we could show genuine care and affection so that they can grow up well despite the trauma and neglect they have experienced."

"You're right."

Violet hadn't bought this conversation at all because she was painfully aware that these volunteers were temporary.

The social workers would still leave after creating a special yet brittle bond with them.

Even animals form an attachment with their caretakers if they had been given lots of love and attention.

Most of the orphans here were already rejected and abandoned by their own parents.

Some of them were even returned by their adoptive families.

It would be sadistic for these social workers to give them love only to take them away in a short period.

On that fateful day, Violet swore to herself that she would try to remain distant with her caregivers no matter what.

Nevertheless, fate had other plans.

When she was six-years-old, a physical therapist, who had volunteered in the orphanage for a year, taught her some exercises to rehabilitate her numb hands.

The woman's sincere encouragement motivated her to do her best to work the muscles on her forearms and fingers every single day until she got used to presence, allowing the woman to creep into her heart.

However, the therapist's permanent departure after that year made Violet feel like she was grieving the death of someone she loved.

It also didn't help that the therapist hadn't made any efforts to establish some kind of communication with her when she left the orphanage.

Had she completely forgotten about her as if their memories were nothing?

As if she didn't exist?

Did that person have any idea how much she changed Violet's life for the better?

Now, she could move her hands but she couldn't control it all the time.

As she grew up, there were certain periods where her hands would 'get out of hand' [excuse the pun].

The knowledge that she could kill someone in a span of three hours, the maximum period she experienced where her hands that already felt quite alien could do whatever they liked, made her blood to run cold.

The top psychologist in the country, Dr. Pierre Nicholls, got interested in her and got her out of the orphanage himself after hearing about an odd disorder she possessed.

She had no idea who and where Dr. Nicholls had gotten such information or if someone she knew had actually reported her misdeeds to her last orphanage's house mother.

The alleged 'incident', where her syndrome was supposedly revealed and which, even she, had no idea because she had blacked out, must have reached the orphanage director's ears before Dr. Pierre Nicholls caught the news.

After a week of investigation in the orphanage, individual and group interviews with her fellow orphans, a series of medical tests performed on her while being observed by Dr. Nicholls's team, the house mother handed her over like a used garment for donation.

Violet was already fifteen years old at that time but the unexpected change still scared her.

However, she surprised herself for adjusting quite well in the psych ward quicker than she expected.

She also accepted her fate wholeheartedly with Dr. Nicholls' guidance.

In the past eight years, she met him in person twice a week instead of twice a month like the other patients.

Because of this, most of the patients assume her issues were borderline hopeless she might as well jump at the rooftop.

Unfortunately, the door on the way there was locked.

Not that she ever tried to visit.

The psychologist might look strict and calculative on the outside until people hear him speak in a calm and gentle tone of an audio book narrator.

His keen interest at the first meeting made her feel seen for the first time as a human being and his piercing gaze never regarded her with pity like the social workers did despite knowing she was an orphan.

He was neither friendly nor upbeat but he wasn't threatening and she also appreciated his detached observations and neutral responses.

The psychologist and his team were good listeners and his analysis of her syndrome made her feel heard and understood.

He had taken note of who she truly was and it was hard to lie to him because the smart man had an excellent memory.

Every meeting made her learn something new and she would always looked forward to the tests instead of fearing them.

Violet also noticed how his faded grey eyes would light up if a certain pill had effectively suppressed the numbness in her muscles.

Dr. Nicholls had considered it a successful breakthrough when he and the medical professionals in his team was able to shorten the duration of her stroke in a few minutes instead of hours after applying different combinations of treatments.

Some of them, he figured it out himself due to his honest desire to help her live a normal life.

She could sense how eager he was to piece the clues of her syndrome together, solve its mystery and find a possible cure.

To Violet, Dr. Pierre Nicholls was the closest father figure she could have.

He would probably disagree if she told him that but she was grateful that he had taken her under his wing.

Violet even assumed that the psychologist wouldn't release her from the asylum because he still wanted to continue his research.

This person, who was interested in her as a test subject that he was willing to pay the orphanage to acquire her, must have gathered enough data to his satisfaction.

"It's a secret. But, we'll see, sir!" The corner of her lips curved into a smile. "I'll let the chairman decide if he wanted others to know about it or not."

When the disappointed chauffeur clutched the silver handle to open the car door wide, Violet saw mile-long legs that only a male model could possess, sprawled on the leather couch.