Head Over Heels

If I ever doubted the support of Jarl Balgruuf, declare it now that I doubt no longer. I knew he was worried about my plan. I knew he was worried about the people of Whiterun. I worried about them too, all of them, no matter who or what they supported. But the fact that was his first concern when I mentioned my idea gladdened me completely. No matter what, the people were his first concern. As far as I was now concerned, the Jarl and I were allied until the end. The end of what, you may ask? The end of everything? Possible, if not probable. No matter what, my sword belonged to Jarl Balgruuf.

Our discussions went long into the night. There were calls from many to throw our weight behind one side or the other. But the voice of the Dragonborn and the Jarl carried the most weight. Whiterun would remain neutral. We care little for the kingship of Skyrim. At least at the present time. What mattered was the dragon crisis. Jarl Balgruuf knew I needed a clear head to deal with that. If we could ensure the civil war enveloping Skyrim would not blow up into full scale war, then all the better.

Of course I knew of the war across Skyrim but, apart from that, I had no idea of the situation on the ground. No idea of which side, if either, held the advantage. Figuring neither the Empire or Stormcloaks would know my face, the Jarl asked a question. We needed a neutral venue. Whiterun would not suffice. The Jarl did not want the Empire or Stormcloaks gathering information of his defences. So he asked an enormous favour…

"You misunderstand our authority, Dragonborn. The Greybeards have never involved themselves in political affairs."

I understood completely what Master Arngeir meant. "The request has come directly from Jarl Balgruuf. I'm sure you're not aware, but Whiterun is neutral in the war. And…" I paused, for effect. "It is also my home."

Arngeir met my eyes. "Your home?"

"Yes, master. I have many friends there. And the Jarl is a good… No, he is a great man. He cares for his people and does not want them or himself to be a pawn in the game of others."

"You trust him?"

"Absolutely."

Arngeir was silent for a few moments. Then nodded. "Very well. I know Paarthurnax has made the decision to help you. This is the road we Greybeards have to walk. Even we must bend to the winds of change, it seems. So be it. Ask the Jarl to send word to Ulfric and General Tullius that the Greybeards wish to speak to them. We will see if they still remember us." I knew what the Jarl and I was asking. Arngeir knew what I was thinking. "It is okay, Dragonborn. It is about time the Greybeards revealed themselves and showed those down below the Way of the Voice."

"Are you sure?"

He shrugged. "We have no choice now either way. Send word to Balgruuf that we agree."

I thanked the Greybeards, all of them. I knew what I and the Jarl were asking. They were peaceful folk, isolated from the rest of Skyrim. Now every little problem was about arrive on their doorstep. I could understand why they may hesitate in wanting to help. I knew they were only helping because of me. I would never be able to thank them enough.

I returned the news to Jarl Balgruuf. While pleased, he knew this was only the beginning. He would have to send couriers to begin negotiations to bring both sides to the table. He told me directly that it may take time and actually suggested that, considering it may take weeks for both sides to agree to terms simply to meet at High Hrothgar that, if I had anything else to take care of, then I probably had time to deal with it.

I was ready to be sitting around, bored out of my mind at Breezehome, when a message arrived no more than a day or two later. It was from Isran. The message was brief, expected as I remembered his conversational skills, or lack thereof, so expected nothing else from his note. But it was interesting nonetheless, requesting if I could return to Fort Dawnguard as soon as possible. I immediately spoke to the Jarl, who suggested again that it may be a number of weeks before both sides would agree terms to the meeting at High Hrothgar so said, if I had anything else to take care of, now may be the best time.

So I rode out the next day for Fort Dawnguard alone. Lydia wasn't happy but I wanted her to be my eyes and ears around Whiterun while I was away. She still wasn't happy after explaining why but understood my reasoning. Events may happen while I was away and, if it was concerning, she was to send messages to Fort Dawnguard or Mjoll in Riften, hoping she would understand what said messages might mean.

Isran was as gruff as I remembered, though he at least seemed to be at least slightly more respectful when I walked through the doors of Fort Dawnguard. He congratulated me for taking care of the vampire problem in Morthal but immediately asked I could do another favour. As already appeared usual, he gave little away, but asked if I could journey to the Hall of the Vigilant. He had been told by a former colleague that the Hall had been sacked by vampires and wanted a pair of neutral eyes to confirm. The former colleague had also told him of a cave nearby that may hold information regarding why vampires had become such a menace in recent times as there were rumours of a vampire presence in said cave. As I've said before, I generally don't like being told what to do, unless it's by the Jarl but, considering I had plenty of time until all parties would agree to meet at High Hrothgar, I stated I'd check out the hall and, if I had enough evidence, the cave as well.

Despite the heavy snow and near blizzards, I finally arrived at the Hall of the Vigilant two days later. And it was a scene of carnage. Bodies lay everywhere, human and vampire. But it wasn't just the bodies. Blood coated the snow around the hall and, once I'd ventures inside, I had to cover my mouth and nose from the stench that threatened to invade my mouth and nostrils. Bodies lay everywhere, burned, somewhat burned or otherwise intact, but clearly dead. Telling apart human and vampire was easy enough, if they hadn't been burned to a crisp, but some bodies were near burned beyond recognition. There was little I could do either way, covering those bodies I could with the cloaks of the vigilant, otherwise I could only show them the respect as fellow warriors.

Once outside, I had to stop for a moment, dry heaving as I thought I would throw up every meal I'd eaten since arriving in Skyrim. It wasn't just the bodies and the blood. It's the smell… When others think of war, they think of brave warriors, armed with sword and shield, the clang of steel, war cries, honour and courage, brave warriors on either side fighting to the death. What these stories miss is the smell of blood, of bodies cut apart, and the parts that fall through their shaking hands. And then there is the piss and shit… Not just of those who are afraid, but of those who have or are about to die. The battlefield is a horrendous smell, something I wouldn't even wish on my worst enemies. There you will find man at his lowest ebb, someone begging to live, or to die…

It was only guesswork that led me to the cave, wandering up a nearby path around a mountain. I guessed that is where the vampire came from and, for once, my intuition proved correct. The entrance was near dark but it wasn't long before I heard a conversation ahead, crouching and moving forward as slowly as possible. I couldn't quite make out what they were talking about but, from a distance, I knew they were vampires.

Once I'd handled the two vampires, thanks to the handy new crossbow Isran had given me, and also put down some sort of vampire dog, I found another body of a Vigilant. I checked his body for any clue to who he was, then figured it may have been Vigilant Tolan, who Isran had mentioned was heading in the same direction. He was surrounded by the bodies of three other vampires, so he had certainly gone down fighting.

Once I'd figured out how to open the gate, I descended into what had the appearance of an ancient crypt. I don't think it was one of the numerous Nord ruins scattered across Skyrim but there was definitely something ancient about the place. I hacked my way through a number of skeletons as I wandered through an ancient gravesite, another vampire also tasting a trio of cold steel bolts. I'd had little training with the crossbow so was pleased I was already rather adept at using it. Perhaps it was just natural talent?

I continued forward, running into the occasional vampire or two and it was obvious they were looking for something. Considering they seemed so intent on finding it, I figured killing them all while finding whatever they wanted the best course of action. Although I still don't think it was a Nordic crypt, I did come upon the occasional draugr, woken by the presence of the vampires it seemed. I generally sat back and let them battle it out, mopping up whoever was alive at the end.

One particular chamber I came across gave me a fright as the floor was littered with the bodies of, thankfully dead, spiders. The next chamber contained an enormous body of another spider, also dead, and also another vampire. Any thought of a quick kill was extinguished as he parried away what would normally have been killing strokes.

"You're too late. Nothing can stop us now." I had no idea what he was talking about so ignored it. "The prophecy will be fulfilled. We will one day use you all as nothing but cattle to quench our thirsts." Now he had my attention, though I still had no idea. 'What prophecy? Whatever it is, doesn't sound good.' I drew him in, letting him think he was gaining an advantage. Let him get over-confident, as vampires were oft to do. Because then he made a mistake and I took pleasure driving my sword through him, twisting it for maximum effect. I let his body drop to the ground and simply strolled through the next gate.

*****

I moved the last piece into place and there was a rumbling sound from deep within the centre of the circle. I took a few steps back as the floor started to move as a stone block lifted itself from underneath the floor. There didn't appear to be an opening as I stepped towards it, pacing around it for a way to open it. Then, without me doing anything, it opened to reveal someone inside. She appeared to be fast asleep and fell forward. I stepped forward myself, catching her in my arms before she hit the floor, her head resting on my shoulder. I heard her come around and lift her head, her eyes meeting mine. She was pale, almost porcelain skin with long, dark hair and red eyes. There was no doubting she was beautiful, my heart leaping into my mouth for a second, before my stomach dropped, as I knew immediately what she was.

"Are you okay?" I asked. She nodded. "Can you stand?" She nodded again.

I let her go and stepped back, keeping my hands free. Not because I thought she'd attack and that I would need to defend myself. You know that gut feeling you have about people, even vampires? Yeah, my feelings about her were already positive. If she'd wanted, she could have bitten me immediately considering my neck was open when her head was resting on my shoulder. Thing is, I've dealt with vampires and have never really met a friendly one. This was a first so it was a good opportunity to speak.

She looked me up and down quietly for a few seconds. "You're not who or what I was expecting." Her voice was soft and she appeared be doing everything possible to appear friendly. But I also guessed she was trying to keep me from doing anything either of us may regret a moment later. She looked at my right hand, which now gripped the hilt of my sword.

"Who were you expecting?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"Someone like me."

"You mean a vampire," I stated, not needing to actually question it. She nodded. I gestured behind me. "Well, there were some here but they got in my way."

She looked past me at the bodies before her eyes returned to me. I immediately saw the concern in them. "So... What will you do with me?"

I shrugged. "That depends on you. But I'm assuming you won't attack me?"

I noticed the smirk form. "Not if you don't attack me."

"I wasn't planning on it. I generally have a live and let live policy... Though not always with vampires. But, and you may be surprised by this, I was sent here to find you. Well, sort of..."

"By who?"

"I'm working on behalf of the Dawnguard." The name appeared to mean nothing to her. "We're... They're... vampire hunters." I almost felt guilty admitting it. You're not thinking straight, Ragnar.

"Yet you were looking for me?"

"I'll be honest; I wasn't expecting to find you exactly. I was told there was something here that could help us."

She scoffed. "Ah, I know exactly what whoever sent you want." She turned back and reached into her tomb. I guess that's what it actually was. She turned to show me a Scroll. "I can only assume this is what they want."

I shook my head. "Isran never mentioned a Scroll."

"Isran?"

"He's the leader of the Dawnguard."

"And you are?"

"My name is Ragnar."

"I'm Serana."

"Pleased to me you."

She smirked. "Seriously?"

I shrugged. "You're the first vampire I've ever met who hasn't immediately tried to kill me. I'd say we're off to a good start."

"So what do we do now?"

"That actually depends on you. I wasn't expecting to find you. I was expecting to find something I could take back to Isran. But considering you're a vampire, I don't think taking you back to the base of a bunch of vampire hunters would be the best idea."

She appeared surprised. "You actually care for my welfare?"

"As I said, you don't appear to want to do me any harm. So I'll live and let live. The question is, what do you want to do?"

"I want to go home."

"And home is where?"

"Castle Volkihar." I looked at her blankly, clueless as to where she meant. "It's off the north-west coast of Haafingar."

"Okay, let's go."

As we fought our way out of the cave, thankfully nothing too dangerous or to cause us too much trouble, she asked plenty of questions about the state of Tamriel. She showed her possible age when I mentioned the civil war and the fact she knew nothing of the Empire, though apparently infighting about who was High King was nothing new. I thought the Empire had been timeless in its existence but Serana had never heard of it, nor anything about Tiber Septim and his bloodline. I asked how old she thought she was and she had no idea. 'You don't count the years when you're immortal', was her reply. Otherwise, the centuries she had spent asleep had done little to dampen her enthusiasm for a fight, her skill with magic putting even the elves to shame. I did ask her one or two personal questions during the moments when we were not fighting, and while she was forthcoming about certain things, she was honest to say she didn't trust me enough to share too many person details. Though she added the proviso of 'yet' to the trust. I shared one or two details about myself, not bothering to mention the fact I was Dragonborn, figuring if I needed to Shout, all would be revealed, instead simply stating I was a warrior, though not a soldier. She thought I meant a mercenary, and while I said I did fight for coin at times, I fought for and with honour. I almost wanted to prove to her that I wasn't just some dumb Nord brute.

I noticed Serana pull her hood tight over head as we exited the cave, slightly surprised as the snow fall was still thick to block out the sun, which I could only guess was getting closer to setting. I wanted to ask why but didn't want to sound like a complete fool so I simply looked for the path back towards the main road.

"Guess the world hasn't warmed up in all the time I've been gone," she stated sarcastically once we were on the right path, both of us on my horse, Serana behind me, holding on tight.

"I didn't think you would have felt the cold."

"I don't but it would be nice to feel some warmth for the first time in a while."

I'll admit a few thoughts crossed my mind, all of which can't be shared. I immediately shook my head of those, gripping the reins of my horse tighter instead, thinking of anything but that...

'She's a vampire, Ragnar. And you've just met her. What is wrong with you? See a pretty face and lose control? Well, you almost did Lydia, despite the fact you'd never admit it. And then let's not forget Aela, who you've actually slept with numerous times!'

If Serana wondered why I'd suddenly fallen silent, she didn't say anything. Apart from continuous snowfall, which was proving rather treacherous at times as the thick snow covered a ground of sheet ice, our journey was relatively peaceful, even as the skies started to darken.

"We may have to stop for the night and camp," I suggested.

"If you think that's best. Do you have any supplies?"

I gestured to the saddle pack. "Small tent, bed roll and some food to keep me going. But if we can find an inn or something, that would probably be better."

"Are you sure, considering I'm..."

"Oh, right."

We kept going for as long as we could but eventually the light faded completely and, not wanting to keep travelling near blind in the faint moonlight, we agreed to settle down and make camp. I pitched the small tent as Serana gathered some wood for the fire. She got that started with a bit of magic, no surprise there, before I offered to cook us some dinner. I had no idea if vampires ate regular food or not, but she took me up on the offer, appearing surprised I'd even asked. If was nothing special, just a simple leek and potato soup, but she was polite enough to say it tasted delicious once I'd served it up. Then we sat around the fire and continued to talk, getting to know each other, avoiding the private details she didn't want to discuss so it was more a case of letting her know what had happened in the intervening however many years. Then she asked a question that didn't surprise me at all.

"Why did you join the Dawnguard, Ragnar?"

"I wanted to do something before I'd even joined the Dawnguard. I remember returning home to Whiterun after a vampire attack. A lot of innocent people were hurt or killed during that attack. I've heard of one or two other incidents taking place involving vampire attacks so I was left feeling there was something going on. I don't know what's been happening to cause it but once I was approached to join, I thought I should do my part, even with everything else on my plate at the moment."

She raised her eyebrows. "What else is going on? You make it sound important."

"Ever heard of the Dragonborn?" She nodded. "I am. Apparently the last one."

She nodded again. "I've heard of that prophecy. The Last Dragonborn sent forth by Akatosh to save the world from Alduin, the World-Eater."

I shrugged. "That's what they say."

"You're not convinced?"

"Oh, there's no doubting I'm Dragonborn. But people are under the impression that I can do this alone. Trust me on this one, I can't. I'm a warrior, that is true. I believe I'm noble, that I fight with courage and honour and will one day find glory in Sovngarde. But actually fighting to prevent the end of everything we know? That's a lot to rest on any one man. And the problem is that people, even people I call close friends and allies, almost treat me as if I'm some sort of God once they realise who I am. They put me on a pedestal alongside Talos because I'm of the dragon blood, a gift from the Gods themselves. So all I do is worry about is letting everyone down. Or letting the world fall into chaos and ruin."

"You ever told anyone else this?"

I scoffed. "Of course not."

"Yet you've told me?" I shrugged, not meeting her eyes. "Thank you," she added quietly.

"From what you've told me, it sounds like you have enough to worry about anyway. It's nice to just to get everything off your chest. Thanks for listening."

"What are your plans for me then?"

"I'll take you home. Whatever you want to do after that is your choice."

"That's it?"

Now I met her eyes. "That's it."

"Even though I'm a vampire?" I nodded. She grabbed my hand again, giving it a gentle squeeze. I tried to ignore the coldness of her touch. 'By Talos, Ragnar. You are pathetic.' "Thank you again," she whispered.

She offered to keep watch all night, stating that she'd been asleep for so long, she wanted to simply watch the stars all night. The offer was kind but wasn't particularly necessary though I did take her up on the offer. I didn't get much sleep, and that I did was spent tossing and turning. The next morning proved cold but dry, the snowfall disappearing overnight to leave a further blanket of snow. Serana had kept the fire lit all night so was able to warm myself up before we packed up the camp and continued on.

We arrived at some sort of jetty later in the day, a rather rundown looking boat looking like the only way across. Serana stood on the shoreline, water lapping at her feet, as she pointed. "Across there is the castle. It should be too long a row."

I didn't let the water at the bottom of the boat unsettle met as I climbed in, helping Serana in and letting her settle, untangling the rope that held it in place before grabbing the oars and started stroking. The water wasn't exactly calm, it wasn't like rowing across a lake, but we weren't tossed about too often. "Ragnar, I have a favour to ask," she said when we nearly arrived.

"Sure."

"Once we're inside, let me do all the talking."

"I won't say a word."

"Be careful of any tricks my father may try to pull."

I nodded as I slowed the boat, the side banging against the jetty. I tied up the boat again and stepped out, reaching forward to help Serana up, earning another kind smile for my troubles. I think she wanted to lead the way as she made sure to walk faster than myself as we walked over the bridge towards the castle. I noticed gargoyle statues to either side, having visions of them waking up and tearing us both to shreds. The gate opened as we approached, a vampire at the gatehouse, watching our progress.

"Lady Serana," he stated in complete shock. He hurried across to unlock to the door. "Please, go in at once. Your father has been waiting."

With slight trepidation, I followed Serana into the castle, met by near darkness and gloom. And a smell I knew oh so well… We arrived in what appeared to the be main hall and the sight that met my eyes was horrifying. There was blood and bodies everywhere, noticing eyes turn our way when they saw us approach. It took all my self-control to not simply grab my sword and start swinging.

I followed Serana down the steps towards the ring of tables, noticing one man approach her in return. Must be her father. Everyone else had their eyes on me. It was… creepy. I know they saw me as nothing but a potential next meal.

"My long-lost daughter returns at last. I trust you have my Elder Scroll?"

I heard the sigh Serena gave. "After all these years, that's the first thing you ask me? Yes, I have the Scroll."

"Of course I'm delighted to see you, my daughter. Must I really say the words aloud? Ah, if only your traitor mother were here, I would let her watch this reunion before putting her head on a spike. Now tell me, who is this stranger you have brought into our hall?"

"This is my saviour, the one who freed me." 'Saviour? I like the sound of that.'

"For my daughter's safe return, you have my gratitude. Tell me, what is your name?"

"Ragnar."

He bowed slightly. "I am Harkon, lord of this court. By now, my daughter will have told you what we are."

I shrugged. "Vampires."

I noticed the grin. It was not friendly. I kept my hand away from my sword. "Not just vampires. We are among the oldest and most powerful vampires in Skyrim. For centuries we lived here, far from the cares of the world. All that ended when my wife betrayed me and stole away that which I valued most."

I cared little for the problems of what happened between vampires. But I was behind enemy lines. In a stroke, I knew the entire lot could attack me and I knew I'd be dead in seconds. I just wanted to get out with my head on my shoulders and not a vampire. I wanted out right away. "Okay, so what happens now?"

"Would you like a reward, Ragnar?"

"Depends on what it is." That was the most non-committal response I could think of.

"I offer you my blood. Take it, and you will walk as a lion among sheep. Men will tremble at your approach, and you will never fear death again."

'I'm already a werewolf. I certainly don't want to be a vampire.' "No thanks. I'm already a werewolf…"

He sneered. "Yes, I can smell that stink on you."

"And I want to be cured of that. I don't particularly want to be a vampire either."

I noticed the slight grin. It was definitely not friendly. I noticed movement at the table. I felt the presence of others to either side of me closing in. "Is that your final response, Ragnar?"

"It is."

"Very well." He paused for dramatic effect. I knew what he was going to say before he'd said it. "Guards, seize him!"

"Father! No!" Serana cried. I had my hand to the hilt of my sword at the same time, ready to draw, glancing left and right as two guards closed in, hearing others at the table getting to their feet.

"What's that?" her father asked.

"He rescued me. Please, let him go. He meant no offence. He just doesn't want to be a vampire. Right, Ragnar?"

Her father glared at me and I knew he wanted my blood, as did the others in the room. There was no way I was going to allow myself to be turned. I already wanted to be cleansed of the beast-blood and certainly didn't want to become a vampire. I smiled as naturally as I could. "Of course I mean no offence, Serana. As I just said, I also wish to be cleansed of the beast-blood currently in my veins. I dream of Sovngarde so have no desire to remain as I am, nor be turned. If you all wish to be vampires, then who am I to disagree? You may live your lives as you see fit."

"See, father, he understands. Let him go."

Her father continued to glare before he finally relented, nodding at the two guards still approaching. I felt them melt away. "Very well. I will do this at my daughter's request. But let it be known, Ragnar, that once you leave this castle, you will be considered fair game, like the rest of Skyrim."

"Of course."

He then pointed. "Then considering yourself banished from Castle Volkihar. And I hope we do not meet again."

Taking my hand from the hilt of my sword, I walked towards the stairs backwards, not wanting to turn it for a second in case someone decided that I would make a nice meal. I managed to climb the stairs without falling over and, once through the entryway, I turned and walked out the main doors into the cold air, taking a deep breath as I felt a wave of relief hit me. 'Well, that could have gone a whole lot worse.' I walked towards the jetty, ready to simply get in and row away when I heard someone shouting my name from behind, glancing back to see Serana chasing after me. I stopped and waited for her.

"What is it?"

"I'm sorry. I should have known he'd do something like that."

"Don't worry about it."

"So what will you do now?"

"Head home. Then I'll report into the Dawnguard. Guess I'll have to think of something to tell them. What will you do now?"

She shrugged. "Find out what's been going on for the past however many years."

I nodded and then we stood in silence for at least a minute or so. I'll admit I felt awkward. "So, will I see you again?" I finally asked.

She smiled slightly. "Would you like to?"

I shrugged as nonchalantly as possible. "Sure."

"I'd like that." Then she paused. "Despite the fact I'm..." She trailed off.

"I don't care."

She smiled, brighter and, if possible, she even blushed. I figured it was my eyes playing tricks. "Take care of yourself, Ragnar," she stated quietly. Then she hugged me and, I'll admit, I didn't really want to let her go, holding her tightly towards me. I eventually did and she continued to dazzle me with her smile before she bade me farewell and good luck, watching her walk back towards the castle. Once she disappeared from view, I got in the rowboat and started my journey back to the mainland. There was only one thought in my mind during those few minutes.

I knew I was head over heels in love with a vampire.