Got to Go

I'd polished my armour until my fingers were raw. I'd actually washed myself thoroughly, the bucket of water I'd heated over the fire turning black as I washed away layers of dirt and grime. I even washed my hair, as much as I could, making sure I dried it completely, not wanting to catch a cold by being outside when the temperature dipped below freezing. Lydia stayed silent as I readied myself. I guess she just knew my thoughts were all over the place, which they were. She was also coming, of course, resplendent in her own armour. I know she'd spent just as long making sure she looked perfect for the occasion.

"Are you ready, my thane?" she asked from the doorway, as I stood by myself in my bedroom.

"No."

"We have to go. It will start soon."

"I know. Part of me just wants to get on a horse and go."

"Go where?"

"Anywhere but there."

I hadn't shared with anyone what his journal said. I simply passed it to Eorlund as the journal had drawings of what Wuuthrad originally looked like, creasing the corner of the pages so he would know where to turn to. I knew he may have been curious as to what Kodlak had written, just like anyone else.

But I had to go. I grabbed my sword and sheathed it before I turned to Lydia and nodded I was ready. We exited to see people already heading towards Jorrvaskr. It was no surprise that everyone in Whiterun and likely from the entire Hold would be attending the service. Kodlak Whitemane had been one of the most respected warriors in Skyrim. His send-off would be a reflection of that respect. It's sometimes a shame that it takes the death of such a person to realise what they meant to an individual.

I received numerous nods as I walked through the crowds, murmurs of 'Dragonborn' or 'Companion' as I walked by. Jorrvaskr was lit up by what appeared to be a thousand fires, the crowds thick around the guildhall as I climbed the steps to the Skyforge. Here, the rest of the Companions were readying themselves for the service. I was delighted to see the Jarl in attendance, walking towards me as I crested the stairs.

"Dragonborn," he stated quietly, clasping me as a warrior.

"My jarl."

"I am sorry, Ragnar. Kodlak was a great man. And a good friend. He will be sorely missed."

"Irreplaceable, sir."

"Oh, I'm sure Kodlak already had an idea of who should succeed him if the worst were to happen."

I heard the tone, knew what he meant and, frankly, wasn't surprised. 'Kodlak probably spoke to the Jarl about such matters.' "No-one could take his place, sir. His wisdom and guidance set us apart from any other guild I know of."

The Jarl nodded. "You speak true, Ragnar."

I joined the rest of the members of the Circle as a hush came over the entire crowd. The jarl then called out 'Guards!' and I looked back to see every other light in Whiterun soon extinguished, so that only the lights of Jorrvaskr would likely be seen throughout the entire Hold. It was a beautiful if not slightly haunting sight.

"Who will do the honours?" Eorlund asked, "Dragonborn, will you?"

I met his glance and nodded, knowing what he wanted. I stepped forward to the Skyforge, a pyre being built upon which Kodlak had been laid to rest. I looked back for a moment at my Companions before I grabbed a torch, using the heat from the Skyforge to light them, handing out three before keeping one for myself. I had spoken to Aela of this ritual, of the words that we would share, but the silence between us spoke volumes. None of us wanted to start. None of us truly wanted to say goodbye. It didn't take long until my fellow Circle members all looked at me. I could only nod.

"Before the ancient flame…" I started.

"We grieve," came the response, from the other members of the Circle, from the jarl, from the rest of our Companions, from the citizens of Whiterun below. All spoke in one loud voice.

"At this loss…" Eorlund continued.

"We weep." If I didn't know any better, the words echoed across Skyrim.

"For the fallen…" the jarl added.

"We shout!"

I knew what do at that moment, as I stepped forward and used my Voice to bathe the pyre in flame, again looking across the members of the Circle as the flames illuminated our faces. I could see theirs would have matched my own.

"And for ourselves…" I asked.

"We take our leave."

Whiterun then fell into silence, no voices heard, only the crackle of the fire as we watched the pyre burn, alone with our thoughts and memories, or perhaps our feelings of guilt and regret. All I knew is that I would miss the man until the end of my days and hoped that, one day, we would meet again in Sovngarde. I'm man enough to admit that I wept again, glancing left and right to see none of us had dry eyes. Warriors do not cry often, but when we do, it always means something. I remember crying only once before, after I'd put my mother in the ground. I'll be honest… This felt even worse. Mother dying had been expected, having suffered a long illness. Kodlak was taken from us in an instant. Butchered. Murdered. Both were irreplaceable influences on who I became as a man and then as a warrior.

Eventually the crowds started to part as braziers across the city were lit once again. The four remaining members of the Circle were the last to depart, descending the stairs and heading into the Underforge. I knew what the discussion would be about and it wasn't long before Aela and the two brothers were almost at each other's throats in regards to the blood that flowed through our veins. I was worried that it may come to blows.

"Well, what do you think, Ragnar? You've been quiet," Aela asked, putting me on the spot.

"Kodlak wanted a cure. And it had something to do with the heads of the witches. But what we're supposed to do exactly, I don't know."

"I know," Vilkas announced.

"You do?" I asked.

"Yes. I've been reading over some of my own journals and found a reference to the Tomb of Ysgramor he mentioned long ago. It is there that the soul of a Companion can be cleansed."

"There the soul of the Harbingers will heed the call of norther steel," Aela added.

"You know?" Vilkas asked.

"I loved the old man just as much as the rest of you," Aela replied quietly, then added. "But to enter the tomb you need Wuuthrad and it's still in pieces, and has been for thousands of years."

The stone door to the Underforge opened and Eorlund walked in. "And dragons were just stories. And the elves once ruled Skyrim. Just because something is, doesn't mean it must be."

"What are you saying, Eorlund?" I asked.

"Wuuthrad is a weapon. A tool. Tools are meant to be broken. And then repaired."

"How long?"

"Give me three days to reforge the weapon. Then take Wuuthrad, enter the tomb and send Kodlak to Sovngarde."

Lydia was still waiting up for me once the rest of the Circle and I had finished discussing the details of what we should do once we had Wuuthrad back in our hands. I explained what our plan was but stated, for three days at least, I had no idea what to do. All I wanted to do is go to bed. She grabbed my hand as I walked past and smiled at me. I couldn't return the gesture.

I didn't sleep much that night and the sleep I did manage was plagued by dreams and nightmares. I was up before sunrise, sitting by myself by the fire downstairs when Lydia joined me, already dressed. It was like she could read my mind.

"Where are we going?" I looked at her, I guess completely surprised. She smiled again. "I know you well enough by now, Ragnar, that I know you want to get out of Whiterun, at least until you know what to do next."

I smiled at the use of my name but couldn't help but sigh. "I have to get out of here. I'm thinking of heading to Riften and then seeing what this Dawnguard is all about. Your welcome to join me for the journey there. You don't have to come and join the Dawnguard."

"Of course, my thane."

"Okay. We'll leave in an hour. I'd better tell the fellow members of the Circle my plans."

I met with Farkas, Vilkas and Aela, explaining what I would be doing. They were not surprised that I would be leaving Whiterun until Wuuthrad was ready, suggesting they, too, would also be heading away to clear their minds. We agreed to return to Jorrvaskr in a week, unless we were otherwise waylaid, then we would then head directly to the Tomb of Ysgramor.

We rode fast once we'd crossed the bridge past the crossroad at Honningbrew Meadery, heading in the same direction as when we had travelled to Ivarstead to visit High Hrothgar. I didn't want to waste any time, knowing a normal journey to Riften would take an entire day if not more. Apart from commenting that my riding skill had improved since that first outing on a horse, which already seemed a lifetime ago, we spoke little until we stopped for lunch on the outskirts of Darkwater Crossing. I should have known the obvious topic of conversation too.

"So I heard you and Aela disappeared the other night and were not seen again until the following morning."

I simply bit into a piece of bread to hold back the smirk. And maybe a chuckle. "And?"

"I'm merely intrigued, my thane. I thought you were not interested in her that way."

"I wasn't. But I'm not going to say no either. I'm as red-blooded a man as any other."

"So you did… You know…"

I should have said it was none of her business. "Is that a problem, Lydia?" I asked instead.

"No," she said sharply in a tone that suggested it was. And I knew why but I wasn't going to broach the subject myself unless my hand was forced.

"We're just friends, Lydia. It was a one-time thing. Well, I think it was… Anyway, it's not like I'm going to suddenly walk around with an Amulet of Mara and propose marriage or something."

"I'm only looking out for your welfare, my thane."

I looked at her and she didn't meet my eye. I had a feeling things were going to get awkward between us if I didn't nip this in the bud. But I had to think of how best to approach. "Do you not like Aela?"

"No. Well, it's not that. I mean, as I said, I'm aware of your secret…"

"Which most of us are likely going to be cured of once I return."

"You are?" she asked in surprise. I nodded. "Why? I thought it gave you advantages?"

"The blood affects the soul. You know I want my soul to go to Sovngarde after I die. So did Kodlak. So do Farkas and Vilkas. The only one I'm not sure of is Aela."

"Figured," Lydia muttered.

I sighed. 'This is all I need. A jealous Housecarl. I'd better just change the subject otherwise this will just get too awkward.' "Have you ever been to Riften?"

Lydia looked surprised, but also immediately thankful, at the change of topic. "No, my thane. But I've heard the stories about the place."

"Like what?"

"It's not a very safe city. Apparently the Thieves Guild are headquartered there."

I raised eyebrows in surprise. "They have a presence in Skyrim?" She nodded. "I thought they were a myth. I heard such rumours of their existence during my time in Chorrol."

Lydia shrugged. "I'm not sure myself. Only rumours. Every city appears to have their secrets it seems."

I let that comment pass without retort and we resumed our ride soon afterwards. We turned east as a cluster of mountains towards over us to our south, our own path ascending for a time but never too high, heading towards a settlement on our map by the name of Shor's Stone. Lydia had never heard of the place and while the map suggested it was a village, I figured we may have to stop there for the evening, depending where the sun was in the sky by then.

The road soon turned south itself as it passed through a valley, the perfect spot for bandits to hide and attack. But we passed through without incident, eventually passing a watchtower and I knew we should be arriving in the village shortly. There was still enough light by the time we arrived but it had been a very long day in the saddle and my thighs were crying enough. Lydia was happy enough at the suggestion that we camp somewhere in the village for the evening as there was no inn.

There wasn't much to Shor's Stone otherwise. The only reason for its existence appeared to be the mine. Once the skies darkened and the stars came out, we sat around a campfire and chatted with the miners, asking questions about the local area and also what they knew about Riften. I heard the same warning I'd heard earlier from Lydia. Watch out when we get to Riften. All is not what it seems, they said.

I built our tent once the miners started to turn in for the evening and was somewhat thankful Lydia and I would have separate bedrolls. After the awkwardness of that night in Ivarstead and our earlier conversation, sharing a tent may be bad enough. But she said nothing as she clambered out of her armour, climbing into her bedroll and then covering herself in furs to keep away the chill.

"Will you go into Riften or head straight to meet the Dawnguard?" she asked once I was in my own bedroll.

"I'll escort you to the city gates but then head straight towards Fort Dawnguard. Will you be okay to wait in Riften?"

"Of course, my thane. There should be an inn or two where I can wait until your return."

"If the rumours about Riften are true, just be careful."

The journey started uneventfully the next morning as I took in the natural beauty that was The Rift. The colours of the flora and fauna surrounding ourselves was a kaleidoscope of colours, the trees near and far almost the colours of the rainbow, while it appears man or mer had not seen off the wild animals that inhabited the forests around us. If it wasn't for all the rumours about Riften, it would have been a wonderful place to make a home, if one was inclined, spending their days wandering through the trees, hunting game.

Bizarrely, the road to Riften passed directly through a fort. I raised a hand when I noticed a lookout on one of the forts defences, believing it was a bandit and not a Stormcloak or Imperial soldier. I heard a faint shout that sounded like a warning.

"What do we do?" Lydia asked.

"I don't particularly feel like getting in a fight with a bunch of bandits just to travel along a road. But I don't like the look of that path leading around the fort either."

Lydia put a hand to her sword, and most of the time, I'd have done the same. Instead, I grabbed her gently by the wrist and shook my head. "No. We'll race through and hope for the best."

"If you're sure, my thane."

I wasn't sure it would work but I nodded, trying to look confident. I turned my horse and trotted back the way we came for around thirty seconds before I turned the horse, dug my heels into its ribs, and cantered towards the fort. There were barricades set up on the road itself and I hoped my horse could leap, trusting in it to leap without too much input from my reins. Thankfully, the horse could also read my mind, or so it seemed, as it leapt the barricade without hassle and we burst through the entrance. I vaguely heard shouts as we thundered through the middle of the fort, and I also heard the whoosh of arrows as they passed by harmlessly. I heard Lydia shouting behind me and it wasn't long until we were through the other side, leaping again over another barricade and I kept going until we were clear of the fort.

I turned to make sure Lydia was through safely, and she was, and then I noticed the arrow sticking my horses flank. It shuffled underneath me as I dismounted. Remembering what I had recently learned from my housecarl, I wasn't too worried. I tried to soothe my animal as I grabbed the arrow and then, with one firm pull, wrenched the arrow out. My horse cried out but thankfully didn't run away, keeping a hold of its reins though it was clearly uncomfortable. I then used a restoration spell and managed to actually heal the wound.

"Well done, my thane."

"I'll never get used to that."

"I'll certainly keep that in mind next time I'm injured in battle."

I looked at her and smirked. "How about you just don't get injured?"

She said nothing, instead just sticking out her tongue. I laughed, imagining no other housecarl probably did that to her thane.

The rest of the route to Riften was clear, though I was surprised that the road headed up again but it was of little consequence. Leaving our horses at the stables on the outskirts of the city, I said I'd escort Lydia to at least the inn before I journeyed the rest of the way by myself. It was when we were simply trying to enter Riften that we had our first taste of the corruption that appeared to permeate the city. Lydia and I were approaching the gates, which were surprisingly closed, when two overweight and clearly stupid guards, who I'll call Tweedledee and Tweedledum, tried to bar out entry, one holding out a hand to stop.

"Hold there," Tweedledee stated.

I looked at Lydia before returning my attention to the guard. "What is it?"

"Before I let you into Riften, you need to pay the visitor's tax."

As I've said before, I'm not a particularly smart man, but I'm also not some dumb Nord brute. And I know a swindle when I hear one. "What tax?"

"The tax for the privilege of entering our fair city. Why else do you think?"

"Yeah, you should be glad we're even contemplating letting you in at all," Tweedledum added.

"Surprised you know such a large word," I said.

"What?" Tweedledum asked, already confused.

"You heard me." I then turned back to his friend. "You have any idea who I am?"

"Someone who is looking to end up in a jail cell if he's not careful," Tweedledee warned.

I looked at them both before asking, "Ever heard of the Dragonborn? Heard of his return? How he defeats dragons and devours their souls?"

"Yeah. I've heard the story. Apparently he's seven-foot-tall, swings a massive club and breaths fire out of his mouth."

I just smiled as I took a step back, turned towards a nearby tree and lit it in flames. I walked back towards the two guards, who stepped back, clearly worried about what I would do next. "I'm not that tall but I can do that. Now that I have your clear and undivided attention, are you going to try and take money off me now?" The guards shared an obvious look of concern before they stepped back again without another word. "I hear either of you trying to shake down another person and I'll be back."

The first thing to greet us upon entering Riften was the smell. To call it disgusting would be an understatement as to how distasteful both Lydia and I found it. The type of smell that entered your nostrils, causing your face to crease before it settled somewhere in your throat. It was hard enough trying not to gag, knowing you had to breathe again and take in another lungful of it.

"Ewww. What is that?"

"I don't know. I don't really want to find out either."

We wandered into the centre of the city, taking note of how… drab it all appeared. If this had once been a grand city, if at all, its best days were definitely behind it. But it was still a city full of noise, a crowded marketplace near its centre, its traders shouting at the top of their lungs about the products they had on offer, and it was close by that we found the local inn. The Bee and Barb was already full of people though we managed to find a spare table in a corner. I offered to pay for the room, and after a half-hearted argument from Lydia, she relented, thanking me for the offer.

We grabbed an early lunch, chatting about nothing in particular as both of us were keeping an ear out for conversation. I kept hearing whispers of the Thieves Guild, particularly from a nearby table, where a female, dressed as a warrior, strawberry blonde flowing locks, face covered in war paint and dressed in fine armour, was in a heated discussion with a man across the table from her. I only caught bits and pieces of their conversation and it was clear she had an axe to grind. I tried not to be too obvious but she eventually looked my way and glared. I simply smiled and gestured. "Care to join us?"

She looked confused by the offer but eventually grabbed her chair and joined Lydia and I. "I'm Ragnar and this is Lydia."

"Well met," she replied, offering her hand, "I'm Mjoll, and this is Aerin. What brings you to Riften, Ragnar?"

"I'm here to join the Dawnguard. I believe they are located in a nearby fort."

"Aye, they are. There have been recruiters recently here in Riften. I would be inclined to join myself but I feel I have a much larger beast to slay."

I nodded. "I understand. Apologies for eavesdropping on your conversation, but your… passion in regards to the Thieves Guild is something else. What can you tell me about them?"

Mjoll scoffed. "To even call them a guild is an insult to the very word. What they are is in their name, preying on the people of Riften. I would like nothing more than to end the guild entirely, but I am only one person. And they also have Maven Black-Briar at their back."

"Who's that?" Lydia asked.

Mjoll's face darkened. "We've all heard of the return of the Dragonborn. They say he has his great dragon to slay. Maven is my dragon. She hides behind the Empire, using bribes to keep herself and her children out of a jail and has the Jarl under her thumb, despite her protestations to the contrary. She is untouchable, but only at the moment. One day her own empire will crumble and I will watch her taken to Riften jail in chains."

"What about the Thieves Guild themselves?" I asked.

"They hide away in the Ratway, the sewers beneath the city. Sometimes I think about heading down there by myself and putting them to the sword, but I do not wish to throw my life away without ending them first."

"And the jarl does nothing?" Lydia asked.

"No. As I said, I believe she is in league with them. If not her, then someone in her company. Everyone knows the Thieves Guild exist in this city yet nothing is done."

"The Thieves Guild in Cyrodil was always a rumour," I stated, "The city where I lived for a time, Chorrol, always had rumours of a gang of thieves working together but I never saw anything myself."

"What about you to Skyrim, kinsman?" Aerin asked.

I shrugged. "Some would probably call it destiny, now that I think about it."

Mjoll and Aerin shared a look. "What do you mean?" Mjoll asked.

"My life has taken quite the turn since I arrived in Skyrim. I'll leave it at that for now."

"You're an adventurer?"

"Something like that. But I like to think of myself as a warrior. Ever heard of the Companions?"

"Aye. Before arriving here in Riften, I considered joining their order in Whiterun. Are you one of them?" I nodded. "Word of the loss regards to Kodlak Whitemane arrived here the other day. You have my condolences."

"He was a great man. And his soul now rests in Sovngarde." An obvious lie, but I couldn't exactly tell the truth, could I?

"And now you wish to join the Dawnguard?" Aerin wondered.

"There have been rumours of vampire attacks, Aerin," Mjoll stated, "Another noble order one would be willing to join. First there is the war that never seems to end, then the return of the dragons and now vampires," she stated sadly, shaking her head, "When was the last time Skyrim was truly peaceful?" She sighed. "You have arrived at a bad time, Ragnar."

"We're doing what we can to help," Lydia stated.

"How long are you in Riften?"

"Lydia will remain here while I journey to join up with the Dawnguard. I don't know how long I will be. Hopefully not too long as I need to return to Whiterun soon."

I finished up my lunch and, with Lydia happy to remain in the inn with Mjoll, I bade them farewell and wandered back towards the stables. I found the road that led around Riften and had to use my map to find the entrance to the canyon. The only visible sign of the entrance was that of a lit brazier. Otherwise, I had to dismount my horse as the ravine I eventually found myself in was relatively narrow. After walking for only a short time, the rock walls of the ravine disappeared, exiting to a scene of beauty, a near frozen waterfall across a large lake. There was a sign that fishermen had been using the lake, though no actual fisherman were currently working. Otherwise, it was relatively idyllic.

I wandered along the path until I rounded a turn and I saw the first sign of the imposing fort, far larger than any other I'd see during my travels. As I approached the entrance to the fort, I passed other recruits while I noticed the orc who had visited me in Whiterun earlier. He noticed me walk by, looking my way, returning a nod. Another man was keeping watch on the steps into the fort, simply instructing me to go inside to meet Isran.

Without any real sense of fear in regards to what might happen, I entered the fort, wondering what turn my life would take next.