6 Let's Live on Happily

Celestine remained silent. I was thankful for that. The buzzing in my head was intolerable, and I might have gone mad. In a way, her silence was like a soothing balm. At least I wasn't alone when I came to this realization. This truth may be something I knew long ago but subconsciously refused to acknowledge.

"What now?" I asked Celestine in a hoarse voice after a long while. She approached me and patted my hand with her delicate, jade-like fingers. She gestured for me to sit down with her in this vast nothingness.

"I take all of the blame, Miss Bai Feng Jiu. I--"

I cut her off abruptly. "Xiao Jiu. You could call me that."

A bright smile, as dazzling as the morning sun, was then directed at me. Damn... Beauties and their killer smiles.

"Then... Then you can call me Toni. It's a nickname I thought for myself, only to be used by my friends. Well, if I ever had one. Finally, there's you." She said giddily and hooked her small arm to mine. Yep, I can confirm it now. She's a smöl bundle of sunshine.

"As I was saying, Xiao Jiu. I apologize profusely. This is a result of my selfishness. I should not have dragged you into the mess that is my life. And now things have become irrevocable. I... I don't think you should even treat me as your friend. You should scold me. For I have taken you away from the wonderful life you have, only to live a miserable one that is mine. You... At least you have a lot of people who care about you. People are looking forward to spending time with you." Celestine said softly, sorrow and regret dripping from her voice. Her head dipped down in shame. I sighed.

"Actually, it's not entirely a wonderful life. I wouldn't be eligible for a soul swap if that were the case. I wouldn't be here if I really had something to live for. My team? The old geezer? My job? My commitment to the country? I guess... I guess all of them weren't strong enough anchors. Maybe that's why the old geezer keeps telling me to have a life. Because I wasn't really living. I was just going wherever the flow goes. Maybe that's why I don't feel regretful or sad despite being in this situation." I paused and chuckled in a disturbingly mocking way.

"Haha. Damn! I'm f*cking detached from all of it, now that I think about it. Guess I would have realized this sooner or later. Talk about a wake-up call." A cynical smile painted my thin lips.

"How similar we are, Xiao Jiu. And the way you curse is utterly fascinating." Celestine said sardonically.

Yep. We really are similar. Though the situation was on the opposite ends, we were both pathetic. But your latter statement, dear Toni, don't you think it focuses on an entirely different topic? How does your brain work? Why does it suddenly skew into other points?

"Did you know?" She started and looked at me with her lips in a cute pout.

"I didn't plan to push through with the spell or the soul swap. I was skeptical of the results, and I was scared of what might happen."

I was stunned at her statement. I was still determining what she said. Her bright, clear eyes were glaringly honest that it was painful. I was curious, though. Why?

"What made you go through with it then?" I asked carefully.

She stared at me, and the bitterness returned to her eyes again.

"I was planning to live out my days until I succumbed to the Equinox Flower disease. I thought dying wouldn't be so bad as long as I got to spend my remaining time with my family. So I decided to tell my parents and brothers the truth after my birthday. Except. No one came."

F*ck. I felt a piercing pain in my heart as she talked matter-of-factly. I grew up in an orphanage. Then, later on, in the military. But never had I ever spent my birthday alone despite that. So, I could only imagine the hurt Celestine went through that day. She was dying. Her days were numbered, yet she was alone even on the day she was born.

"That made me throw all caution to the wind. I was going to die anyway. What difference would trying the spell make? What is the worst that could happen?"

I was speechless.

Yeah. I would have done the same in that despairing situation.

"Are you really alright with this, Toni? If you'll live my life from now on, you'd be an orphan. You'd be someone who spends her days in a rigorous military base with men all over. You'd need to be tougher than them. You'd need to brave hardships more than your average man. You'd need to be responsible for their lives. You'd need to kill people for your country without the expectation of their acknowledgment. It is a far cry from your life as a noble lady. Aside from all that, look at me. I'm not exactly as exquisitely beautiful as you." I asked after a moment of silence between us.

Celestine turned to me with a small smile.

"I have your memories, Xiao Jiu. They will guide me in your world. I am pretty sure it would not fail me. I have confidence in you, my first-ever friend. As for beauty? You are your own kind of beautiful. I find your heroic vibe quite attractive, Xiao Jiu. So do not worry so much." She answered. I smiled back. Yep. There was nothing else we could do anyway. So we could make it worthwhile.

"Well, I'll find it hard to adapt. That's for sure. As you can see, I'm not a good example of a lady. I fail at being feminine. And I curse like a sailor. But yeah, I have your memories too. They'll help a lot." I said with a mirthful laugh. Celestine grinned at me.

"Our time to talk is about to end. The Equinox Flower disease's power is about to be exhausted. Our connection will be cut off for now. Practice your divination and soul magic. It will lead to a way for us to reach each other." She stated. Her form became incorporeal by the second.

"Toni, when you return, even if you have my memories, you should live as yourself. Your true self. Unpretentiously. Nothing else matters. That will do justice to my life, as well. Please take care of my comrades there." I reminded her. She deserves a shot at a fulfilling life. Just as much as I do.

"I wish for you to do the same, Xiao Jiu. If you cannot tolerate our family or where you are now. Run away. Grandfather will be there to help you. Everything else is of no significance. That will grant me freedom, as well. You can count on me, Xiao Jiu. Let us live happily from now on." Celestine's voice faded away along with her form.

I slowly opened my eyes and stared dumbly at the ceiling. From now on, I am Toni. And she is me.

"Yeah. Let's live on happily."