Kurisutarumajishan Chapter VI: My Own Void

I'm Yuriko Natsuki, I live in a sub-urban neighborhood in Japan. I am 17, and currently a student proficient at martial arts and painting.

I have a tangled history with my family, I don't have any other relationships other than my family, asides from some splinter groups I'm a part of. My mother, seems like she cares for me but she cares more about what I give back.. money and fame someday, constantly fantasizing about getting a mansion when I get rich, or something else that boosts her status from the middle-class. My father, wants to take all of my earnings and spend it, even from my work, even from whatever job I take I'd need to give them something or else I'd need to face discipline.

You can't not follow them, or else I'm met with a beating, or a scolding to. A simple misalignment with their beliefs is also a cause for such a punishment, and so are making repeated mistakes. Taking my things away, and locking them from my reach or hiding them.. a carrot on a stick so I would follow them just to get my things, for a limited time before giving them back…

It felt like none of my things are really mine. It felt like everything I bought were also theirs, and had more use for it than me.

To add this off, I've always been bullied, coming back home with bruises and black marks. When I tell that what happen, I'm always just scolded for being there, scolded that I provoked them, scolded because I was just there passing by and didn't knew better.

I wouldn't know that they were there. They'd just be around random places, and sometimes I'd find them, sometimes I won't. But I'm always scolded for it, because I was there, and didn't know better to be careful.

It doesn't help that everything else that's not related to me can also be blamed on me, from dishwashes they did, to the lack of food in the fridge, to the lack supplies in the house. My education was also being dragged to it, blaming me for "average" grades when it's a passing and such. Nothing was wrong with them. It was me, and to add to that, I can't be bothered to blame them or they'd hurt me, physically and mentally, shouting at me over and over again how much of a failure I was to them.

Hobbies are criticized for not giving them income to buy food, writing, arts, martial arts, tournaments, swordplays, any club I've gotten to for the past decade or so was criticized for not giving them any income to put food on the table when both of them have stable jobs and stable incomes more than me. They don't believe what I say, once they found something out, it's true, and they won't let go of it, radioactive phones? True, epileptic seizures using phones? True, I'm a computer and electrician expert? True, addiction with tv shows? True.

None of these are even remotely what they are but… They just believe it and call it a day… What I do in my house is restricted to follow and follow only without question, because I owe them my life for being born, that I should be thankful I wasn't aborted.

I wasn't thankful with my life. I wanted to die the moment my eyes opened at a very young age. I didn't want to live, I wasn't meant to, I didn't care I wanted to die but I was a coward, I was naïve enough to live through 17 years of my life in agony under this family. I didn't choose to live, I was forced to, I was forcefully thrown from wherever I had come from and shoved into this family to be a slave bound to repay my unwanted life with money and a mansion I won't be able to get. I was stuck, and I needed to get out of a destructive cycle that was slowly chipping me away, my soul, burdened from chains that held me in place.

There was nothing for me in that life. There was nothing for me to come back to, my father had killed my mother and I had escaped from death.

I've had enough.

Viendeljara | The Transition

It was warm… Welcoming.. that purple light was inviting me to touch it. I did… And I found myself in an abyss with nothing else around me. There was nothing in it, it was dark yet it was warm, it was very welcoming. I felt happy.. satisfied.. there was nothing I wanted more than this, silence, this solitude, I can feel nothing.. it was refreshing to me. It was something I wanted to go to if I could, now I'm in one…

I feel fulfilled.. I feel like I can relax.. it felt addicting to me, the feeling being eternally relaxed, your body can't feel any tension from anything, just relaxation. My mind was blank as I went into a deep sleep, I was comfy, so to speak, I was devoid of my pain, devoid of my tension, the stress, the problems around me, I felt reborn as if all of the shrapnel I took was ejected away from me, it was indescribable feeling of looseness and weightlessness, more than you can float in space freely, more than what you feel when water washed throughout your body.

I soon felt the feeling of falling, wind was blasting through my body as I fell but I didn't care, it all seemed natural for me, it felt okay to fall. I didn't have fear of dying, because to me at that point, I was already dead, and I was Natsuki no more.

The sensation of falling continued on, the gushing air flowed through and against my body but I never felt friction. I wondered how long I've been falling, how long I have been enjoying this solitude on my own without anything to distract me, to pull me away from this and back to reality.

I had now opened my eyes, still relaxed, unalarmed. I noticed a lavender hue falling from the sky, and I had slowly stopped falling, I looked around as I laid on my back, still feeling the bliss of solitude, I watched as the curtain of lavender light slowly turned into a more fuller shade of purple, enveloping in around me like a veil that spindled out from whatever heaven there is above me.

I was able to move, my joints felt light, I felt light. I sat up and slouched over, feeling that I have little control to the friction of my body. Slouching over exaggeratedly I fixed myself, fixing me in a position where I can look around freely and I managed to. I managed to position myself, enabling myself to look around and so I did. Watching as the light danced around me like a veil, I continued to examine my surroundings slowly managing to keep my body in control before I found this figure, that was falling from the sky from whence the veil had come from.

It soon reached me from the bottom of the veil, and it looked like it was in a hurry.

The figure was of a woman, she looked solid, not like the veils that looked like playful lasers, or light reflecting water. She held me on my biceps firmly, chuckling happily as if she expected something to not work.

"Hahh… Hahahahh…" She panted, out of breath as it seemed.

"Wh-Who are you…?" I asked, sleepily, keeping my eyes open as I yawned.

"I'm the one who will give you purpose" She replied, huffing "I'm glad… I'm really glad…"

"M.. Mmmm..?"

"Don't worry.. you'll be there soon, I'll be sending you now down there to help them.." She was picking her pace, seemingly rushing things.

"What's happening..?" I asked, my eyes were getting a bit blurry and so I didn't really see her properly. No.. it was more like.. her figure was blurry, but otherwise.. the surrounding area around me was crystal clear.

"My dear… This world has been targeted by a plague by the God of Gods, he had sent down a Demon Queen that overthrew the previous ruler to sought upon destruction on this world, and Tartarus" She replied with haste and worry. "Dear… You are one of many we chose to help us in this war… Those who sought for purpose, those who sought for a sacrifice worth their lives grounded in gravity"

I was silent, I can't deny that I did want to be something more, but the idea of being something of importance was just.. impossible for someone like me-

"Listen, my dear. You are not alone, your brother has awoken from his slumber, awoken from his prison to fight against the God of Gods" She continued on, holding my cheeks weakly. "Help us, help your brother fight against this Decay"

"Brother..?" I asked, confused. I never had a brother-

"Only you and your brother have awoken from everyone else that we've called" She said worryingly "He's already started to decimate the fortresses in our world, please aid us in destroying the ones here. It'll give you the chance to learn about your powers, and what lies inside the crystalline soul you possess"

"Y-You won't be able to help me..?" I asked, worried that I might fail on my own.

"Yes… I didn't want it so but I'm afraid our hands are too full containing the army, and your brother has been fighting them endlessly on different worlds before you had come to" She explained solemnly, looking away. My vision of her starts to look a bit clearer now, I can discern who she was and noticed that she wore splendid purple and lavender kimono like clothing.

"I'm sorry my dear… It's the best I can do for now" She apologized. The void shook, as shouts of anger flushed through and echoed about. "I don't have much time, you need to go deary, I need you to keep this world safe from the Demon Queen, do you understand me?"

I nodded reluctantly, before she hastily stood up, although rocking about as if she had been injured. She looked back at me, and I noticed her blurry smile before she parted the words.

"Good luck Natsuki, please be safe"

She was gone in a blink of an eye. And there I was, falling once more, rapidly, down into the abyss and into the light. The veil of amethyst swirling and glowing around me, before I felt my body collapse into a solid object, I had hit the floor.

Talous Canyon | Buried Temple of the Amethyst Deity, the Medical Room.

I was still embossed in darkness, as my eyes only saw the night and the shadow that loomed inside my eyes. I heard tinking of stone, then collapsing stone, then wind. I felt a large gush of wind entered whatever room I have been in on, and it seemed to me that there was nothing at all here before this tinking sound, before this light at the corner of my eye.

I can do nothing but wait, my body was in stasis, my joints frozen deeply to its core unable to make an ounce of movement. I am effectively paralyzed.

I heard the voices of two men, one young and the other old. They seem to be archaeologists of some sort, that, or they're thieves. I don't know where I am, I don't know what room I'm in, or how long I've been here, but it seems that the smell of the room was rustic.. and decaying stone. If that makes sense.

"Oh… Oh dear…" The old man muttered, quite perplexed and worried. "Joseph, come here. Give me a blanket"

I heard shuffling of items, and then a cloth like sound flapping in the air, and a soft sensation of coverage over my body. I felt my skin making contact on the cloth, and soon realized I was naked.

"Oh dear… Oh dear…" The old man continued "Is this it..? Is it the one in the prophecy…?"

"Sir Jonathan.. What do you mean..? There's no prophecy I've read close to something like this"

"Not in the 'official' written documents no" Sir Jonathan, the name of the old man.

"Are we going to tell the courier about that prophecy?" The young man asked.

"No, she'll find out the truth soon in the journey, I'll bet what those generals told her was confusing enough to hear" He replied solemnly as he came close, I felt his breathing close as he examined my face, I can clearly smell the mint he had eaten much recently.

"She seems to be alive, but asleep" He remarked.

"How long do you think she's been here?" The young boy remarked.

"I… Really don't know to be honest" Sir Jonathan replied "I'm as perplexed as you my boy"

"She must've been materialized here recently, she seems smoking.." The remarked interestingly, as I was a bit feeling hot, although, chilly.

"You're right yeah.." Sir Jonathan slowly and gently took my limp arm, I was surprised as I thought he'd meet more resistance, considering I feel like my bones are locked. "Sorry deary, I just need to take your temperature"

He felt up my forearm gently as he said, and grasped it softly. He placed it back down and covered it with the blanket.

"Write this down Joseph" He said "The specimen, rather, person of interest, has exhibited temperatures akin to a fish or meat close to the end process of thawing. Cold to the touch, but lukewarm" He ordered, I can hear scribbling from further down before someone shifted his clothing,

"Don't worry now dear, just putting my sleeves up" He assured, as he inspected my face more "You don't mind if I checked your eyes, yes?"

"… Mm…." I managed to get something out of my mouth, the archaeologists, diggers, gasped softly and more scribbling was heard.

"I see, so you're not completely asleep" The gentleman remarked "If you can hear me, my name is Sir Jonathan, and my partner here is Joseph. We're archaeologists, pardon us for intruding, and seeing you bare"

"Mm… Mmm" I got out another sign.

"I see, you can't speak yet" He remarked muttering. "If I may, inspect your eyes as part of an examination? We won't inspect anything else. I am positive that you can feel the cloth blanket we gave you, and I surmise you can feel if there's anything that we may tamper with the arrangement of the said cloth"

"Mm.." I replied.

"I'll take that as a no?"

"Mm Mm"

"Ah, sorry, that's a yes" He corrected himself.

He soon touched my eyelid, gently and slowly opening it. I was expecting to see my visitor, but I was greeted by grey blur and a figure that was inspecting me with a magnifying glass, based on what little I can see.

"I see… Joseph" He called.

"Yes sir" Joseph replied.

"P.I's hair is a magnificent coat of shining black, like the Orium crystal, the strongest crystal that can be found in the Kursor Regions. She exhibits a magnificent plume of purple in her eyes reminiscent of the amethyst Deity Amelia has graced the earthen ground with."

"Yes sir, done sir" Joseph said, announcing his task as he finished scribbling.

"Continue my boy, ahem. The person of interest, now I shall nickname for the time being, Tempest, after the similar weather phenomenon that occurred at the sight, has complications with moving her own body, as well as speech. She is unable to communicate with language, but she is able to communicate with us with moaning a low note for no, and a double high note for yes"

I was being examined by a professional who seems to be looking at an artifact… Wow… I'm actually impressed…

"Tempest, as of current is still paralyzed, to what extent or how long she'll be in this state is unknown. In identifying her with the prophecy hidden away by the Elder Mages, the prophecy much so diluted by those who can control the word of mouth and parchment" He said with extreme determination. "She is the one foretold in the written text, the original passage"

"Sir…? How can you be so sure..?" Joseph asked, confused, and fearful.

"Son, if there's anything in the world you don't know yet, it's being in the presence of a God" He replied, I was confused at his words.. has he met a god? Has he talked to one? "This here son, Joseph, this girl in front of us, irradiates that feeling, that you are in the presence of one of them, if not… Stronger"

There was silence in the room, I caught on to what he's trying to say… It's impossible that I'm a god… right… Unless.. if that lady had done anything to me… Was it to make me a goddess…? Of what?

"This here my boy, is the Goddess, that the Elders are afraid to see, to meet. The one that will decimate us all" He said solemnly "I might try to talk to her once she wakes up, hopefully before the courier team arrives.."

I… Am a Goddess…? How is he so sure… How does he know I'm one? How would I know if I'm one? I feel normal… I feel okay…

"But what if she doesn't..?" Joseph asked worryingly "What if she does..?"

"I don't want to linger in that possibility… I want you to stay here and protect the Goddess, don't let even the Forecaster Mage see her"

"Yes sir… But uh… Where are you going?" Joseph stammered.

"Deeper in the cavern, if I'm lucky in my search, and if my past readings and studies are correct, I might stumble upon the temple's armory" He replied as he furthered into the room.

"I see, please take care sir" Joseph greeted.

I can feel the boy's eye's looking at me, it was soft, and shy. From what I can tell anyways.

The boy moved something heavy, and sat on it. He was now beside me, roughly there from what I can tell.

"I hope you're a good goddess…" He started softly, quite determined to say as he sighed. "The world has devolved into an endless state of war between us and the Demons that inhabited the lower hemisphere"

"Mmm…"

"Ah.. I see you're listening…" He muttered softly in a quite a sweet tone. "The conflict has been in going on for 17 years, maybe more, it's been so long that we've forgotten how long it's been since peace was a thing… It's been hard living in wartime, constantly living in fear.

I can still remember that time, when I was a kid. We all saw this tornado from miles away. It was red, blood red.. and there was red lightning too. After that we started to hear war horns from the Demons before they started to attack us, they were waiting in standby until that tornado came. That feeling washed all over us, it was a threat, we felt that we were all in danger and a lot just stood in their place accepting their faith, but my mother had carried me until we've reached the blockade the Knights had made… We were lucky…"

"Mmmm.. Mmmm"

"That feeling… It was as if there was something clutching your heart, threatening to squish it in one move." He said, describing that miasma, that bad aura they had all felt "It felt like whatever you do to escape was futile… As if it was holding something in you in secret, something dear to you being held in place, like an emotion.. or just someone you've been imagining off in that time… I thought of my mother that time as she carried me to the blockade as they sent volleys out into the horde."

"Mmm.. mm…. mmmm"

I found myself at the brink of opening my eyes, something about what he said clicked something inside of me.

"It was horrible… All I can see was red when I closed my eyes at night… Then I was haunted by nightmares afterwards.. it's like a never ending cycle of pain and threat in your heart, and one wrong move you might set a land mine and then a chemical reaction of just pure chaos and death…" He continued on "It was terrible.. I can still faintly feel that.. my chest feels heavy from all of it, like I'm slowly being suffocated…

I found myself looking at Joseph, staring intently as I panicked slowly. I know that feeling too well, why does he know it too. He caught wind of me too, and was surprised at me opening my eyes. He was about to shout Sir Jonathan's name but something stopped him, looking back at my eyes shakily. I shook my head with what ounce of power I can move my neck. He reluctantly sat and calmed down before sighing.

"Sorry, if I said something bad" He apologized.

"Mm mmm…"

"I'm guessing it's a no" He muttered. "That time was also the time when the Demon Queen appeared and started to attack us. I've heard they had new weapons made in very short time, and the incursions had tripled by the day, it was a simultaneous attack on most of the kingdoms bordering the equator of the world… That's how big it is… There must've been at least a hundred forward bases built by now from the Demon Army, for how long their incursion had been going on"

"Mmm.."

"You think so too?"

"Mmm mmm"

"It's been that long, so yeah, maybe" Joseph was quite melancholic.. he was silent for a bit before he continued on. "I guess we're lucky that the kingdom doesn't have a link of forward bases being made until here, the Harius Ioma and the Kaunus Uoma Regions are known for their hostile fauna and Animalia, I won't be surprised if they tried and failed though.. it's really hard to maintain something there whilst fighting the creatures. So if you want to go there from here.. just pass through them.. Though there might be small bases and camps built along the way, I'd reckon that you'd be able to ash them"

He chuckled, before looking at me, then slowly waxing down into a frown.

"Please don't wipe us.. I don't know what side you're on.. but please.. spare us.. we've had enough of wars and deaths…" He pleaded sadly as he twiddled his fingers "It might be a controversial to say.. but the Demons themselves aren't to be blamed either… Before this war, they were friendly towards us, one of the races in this world that was keeping in trade and treaties, they were an ally before the Demon Queen had succumbed their minds to her twisted ordeals… I suppose the war has torn them too…"

This boy sympathized with the enemy… He's not entirely wrong.. I hope he isn't…

"I've heard that there's friendly Demon Kingdoms still around.. though they posed as Neutral Ground to not arouse suspicion from the Demon Army.. they've been helping around with the intelligence, giving us some idea what to expect next, but usually it's a race between it and the army.."

There was silence, I had calmed down and my eyes have one again closed, enveloping me in darkness once more. He chuckled again, before I heard some sniffling from him, he blew his nose a bit before sighing.

"I.. hope I convinced you.. maybe not.. but I hope you know what to do.." He said softly. "Release us from the pain.. please"

He was silent again, and he soon scribbled on his notebook. I didn't think I'd learn this much in my first minutes being aware of my surroundings, but here I am, here I lay motionless once more. It made me think of what I'm supposed to do for whatever journey I'm going to take.. if anything, I don't know what my powers are.. what limit I have.. what exploits I can do… I am stuck here… As soon as I can move.. I'll find the perfect opportunity to test whatever arsenal I have in me.

Just sitting here, motionless, makes me ponder deeply, into a rabbit hole on how much I don't know myself.

Arrival

I've remained mostly silent, I can't say anything, more or less be able to moan out yes or no. I'm back to my solid state once more, this weight held tightly to my joints, I can't even twist my head nor try it again just like before.

It's been a few months, from how it felt like, I don't know what's happening outside of them examining my face and other such complexities. I felt stones being placed on my right arm, or sometimes straps, and such, they did take out my blood to be examined, and told me that I had a very similar composition to theirs, with the difference of my blood being able to crystalize instead of drying out. He said it might be my Aura, which in their lingo, might've meant power.

Despite my inability to speak and give hints that I am still awake. They continued to talk to me like they normally did back then. I appreciated it.. they kept me company as time went on, day in and day out.

It's been a week, after, they seemed to be rushing about something, preparing someone's arrival I think. Things have been cloudy, and unlike before my senses are dulling out, I've started to have this sickness, like mild flu. Of course they've noticed this, and it's been quite harsh on me, so they treated me like they would a normal person getting sick, feeding me medicines and all. If I could thank them right now I would repay them with helping me find out about myself, making it easier for them and for me. I'm still weak, gradually getting stronger from the medicine, it doesn't help that I feel sluggish even though I can't move.

It's been well over 3 days, and my sickness is gradually getting weaker, I've started to feel well, and my sluggishness has started to retract back, although I still can't move my arms, it's at least better than getting this heavy when you can't move. Over this past few… Months.. weeks.. I still haven't figured out what my capabilities are, I don't know what powers I have, I don't know anything of what arsenal I have. I don't know what I can do to try and figure it out with how my body is at the moment, all I can go off of is the fact that my blood crystalizes. Even then.. I don't know how to manifest it, nor to control it, I have nothing to go off of but that. It's frustrating me.. it's.. scaring me… What if I am a danger to myself.. what if I'm a danger to everyone around me.. and I didn't even know it…

Would I become the enemy too..? Would that destructive hero… Be the path I'll take…?

I… Don't want to go down that road… I've had enough antagonization… I have had enough fears… I don't need anymore… Anxiety kept flowing through me, washing all over my body, I can't stop it, I can't hold myself together. It was a set of weights being slammed against my body, my soul is being quashed by forces I can't control, I want to curl into a ball but I can't, I can't move, I can't comfort myself. I want to scream, I want to scratch my throat as I do, burn out my lungs, suffocate myself. I just need to shout, I need to take this overflowing feeling out of me but I can't, I'm useless as I laid there on my bare skin cold and hot and empty. I don't know who I really am, I never found out, I don't know what I can do I haven't found it out, I don't know me.

I don't know me.

I never knew me.

The following day I heard them scrambling to the entrance, of whatever room we are in. From the faint voices, I can hear females, young and one of them matured, things became clearer, but echo-y. Is this one of my abilities..? I can hear this far..? Whatever it is I listened in closely, there were about six.. seven? Besides Sir Jonathan and Joseph. The talks ended and they were let in, it was just simple introductions. I was introduced, but they never gave the name Tempest, I don't know why, but they just didn't.

I felt that they were cautious of their visitors, but I can't say for sure. They were all led inside the room I'm in, and they seemed to be scattered a bit, with each and everyone of them inspecting a different side of my confines. Sir Jonathan went away somewhere, and I can't sense Joseph, have I lost him? Or am I having trouble tracking them all? Regardless, the room feels cramped with people roaming around and inspecting the area.

Out of nowhere I felt breathing, then a soft touch on my cheek. I was being.. inspected? I'm not sure what to say, I am perplexed, but whoever this person is her hands were soft and warm.. I… Who is this person? Ah… She took her hand off..

Presumably her, I heard a box scrape the ground and creaking, maybe she sat beside me. I felt her arm fall on mine, she must've been tired from travelling… This warmth… Is this what couples feel when they hug each other…? I can feel her strength dwindling.. she's trying to save it, to regain it but she has a hard time doing so..

Who is this person…? Why is she like this?

I… Can move my hand…

I just held hers just now… I…

I…

"Where am I..?"