37 Insight

— Once more.... Once more.... Once more — here we were once again, practicing as always.

— Jangsu-yah, you were too early this time — it was Jiyong-hyung, exhaustion could be felt on his voice, but still, he took the effort to still monitor us.

Even me, exhaustion was getting me, making me make mistakes. Noticing how Youngbae-hyung and Tempo-hyung were laying down on the floor, I finally said.

— Jiyong, it's time to take a rest — I said as I signaled to the other hyungs with my eyes. Jiyong-hyung wanted to say something at first, but after looking at the hyungs, he just sighed and nodded.

I still got some energy left, so I went to get some water bottles for all the hyungs, even for Jiyong-hyung who was trying to hide his exhaustion. These last days are getting harder and harder, not only because of the intense training we were going through, but also because our living conditions in the dorm has worsened.

Food has gotten pretty scarce, even rice was starting to deplete. Yesterday, Jiyong-hyung and me didn't eat anything at all, I don't know what made him volunteer for that, but I'm already accustomed to skip some meals. We did that so that the other hyungs could at least eat enough, we did it without telling them of course. Nobody wanted to ask for more money from their families, I can perfectly understand that, as our families were already suffering from our decision of being trainees, making us ashamed of asking for more money.

With that being said, Park Cho Ah never replied my request, so I have no money at all. I really hope she can help me with that, the situation is that critical.

While deep in thoughts, I didn't forget my intention of bringing water, so after that deep self-inspection, I was already by the room once again, giving all the hyungs a bottle. As I drink my own bottle, I saw them being visibly revived after drinking, they were that tired after all.

After some minutes of rest, we were "ready" to begin training once again, but were totally interrupted by Bak Sang Kyun, probably the one we really didn't want to see right now. The smirk on his face didn't bring us any hope either, as he stared at each of us.

— It's not like training would make you more talented, you know? I mean, It's already pretty clear that you can't follow instructions — what a nice thing to say to some trainees huh?

As much as I wanted to punch him right in the face, no one said a thing, just waiting for him to continue.

— Anyway, I need everyone to leave, I have some use for this room right now — really mature of his to kick us out when there were a lot more of rooms available. As we packed our things, and were just about to leave, that "thing" interrupted once more.

— Oh yeah, the higher-ups took some decisions, it seems you're finally going to embarrass yourselves. Specially you, Jangsu, if you can't do something extraordinary, or can take off your mask, you'd better abandon the company in the next months.

All of us were visibly shaken for a second, but still, tried to hide it immediately after. As we left the room, and found another one empty to continue our practice, I finally swore.

— That asshole... — I was too tired to say anything else right now, the other Hyungs even more so.

After that little interruption, we finally were ready to start practicing once again, before we were interrupted once again. Really, what's happening today?

— Little Guys, some important news for you — it was Byung Hee-noona, the person we most loved in this company. Without noticing, Tempo-hyung crawled towards her feet and said.

— Noona, save me, these crazy guys are really going to kill me with their crazy pace — that made a soft smile appear at my face, a little relief in this tiring day. But still, I didn't like those accusatory eyes of him, he'll need some more training after this.

After that thought, it seems he noticed something was wrong, because he quickly continued.

— Look at his eyes Noona, he's really going to kill me — am I really that transparent? But still, that put a smile on Noona's face, who was now patting tempo-hyung's head.

— Anyway Noona, what are the news? — we already knew what would she say, but still, Jiyong-hyung asked.

— The CEO just told me to tell you. You have to show your progress in two months. After that, there will be a decision about what to do with you — she hesitated to say something, and continued — also, Jangsu-yah, I-I-I think — I interrupted.

— I know what you're going to say, don't worry about it, I'll find a way Noona.

She probably was going to say something about me, probably a more tempered version of what Sang Kyun said earlier. I really hate that bastard, but there was a lot of truth in what he said about me.

Not only are expressions really important while dancing, even more so for an singer, there's also the problem about creating a fanbase. How could people admire me if they don't know anything about me? Also, how could I move them with my performance if the don't know what I want to convey.

That's why, I need to be good enough to communicate feelings with just my dance, or my singing. And more importantly, I need something unique to me, something enough for people to recognize me, even while hiding inside all of this outfit of mine.

That's my solution to me hiding my face, and every part of my head in fact, but that was also the problem. I knew perfectly what I had to do, but how could I execute it? The only other option I had was to abandon my mask, but I perfectly knew the consequences of doing it, remembering how "that man" I hate so much is still trying to ruin Sang Min-hyung.

Anyway, that was my dilemma right now...

After reaching that line of thought, I finally stared at Byung Hee-noona, who was worriedly looking at me, and asked while putting a forcing smile to comfort her.

— Anything else Noona? — she was surprised, about my calm demeanor I guess. She nodded and said.

— You have a visitor at the reception — I was surprised for a bit, but still, being surprised wouldn't help. I immediately nodded and excused myself while going towards the reception. It was pretty short, so before I noticed, I saw the so called visitor.

That familiar face was looking at me, pretty simple, but so recomforting. A really fat face, and really small eyes that were actually hidden behind black framed circular glasses. I involuntarily ran at him while calling him.

— Mal Chin-hyung — Mal Chin, persist to end, it was the Hyung that took me to take the audition here. He was a initially a security guard, now a manager for JYP, and I think he was working with g.o.d right now, I don't really remember, and he doesn't talk about his job when I talk with him.

He was waving at me while I approached, making me smile.

— Yo! C-.... Jangsu-yah, this place is really cool, all of the artists look like foreigners, and have you seen the number of employees? This place is really good and ... — still so simple, he hasn't changed at all, making me smile. But also, he was still a chatterbox. After her burst of words, I finally asked.

— Hyung, what are you doing here? — his presence was really unexpected after all.

— Oh!! Yes!! — he took some things out of the pocket inside his jacket, after I took a look at it, It were actually two small envelopes — the Boss told me to bring them to you.

I took both envelopes and chatted a little bit with Hyung before he told me that he had to leave. Still, I really liked chatting with him, specially if it was just for a bit. Before returning to practice, I decided to open both envelopes.

The first one was a plain white letter written in english. After seeing the ugly calligraphy, I immediately knew who was it from.... Damian.

He already sent me a letter previously asking me to go see him, I completely ignored the letter, I don't have the time, nor the intention to go visit him. This time, the letter was even shorter.

"Hey, Come to Mokpo to see me." It was just like him, really concise. After that, there was an address in Mokpo. I simply ignored him, I really didn't have the time to go visit him, nor the money.

After dismissing his letter, I opened the other envelope, a light blue one with a pretty handwriting. After I read the letter, a relieved smile appeared on my face.

Finally! It seems Cho Ah didn´t dissappoint me.