23 Anise Milk.

Somehow I had stumbled into a situation where I was surrounded by kind and caring people, sitting around a fireplace and drinking Warm milk mixed with honey and sugar.

Even looking back on it, it still baffled me to think It ended up like that.

"Mom." Efah's cute little hand tugged at her mothers dress as she sat in one of the large chairs.

Without so much as a word she picked her daughter up and set her on her lap. "Careful not to spill your drink." She said, steadying it as she lifted her.

A part of me longed for that kind of childhood. It was far too late though, We may have been similar in size, but I certainly wasn't close to her in age.

Jerry saw me eyeing them. "You want up too?" He asked, trying to hide his laughter with a wry smile.

"Jerry, don't tease her like that." His wife interjected. We both ignored her though, locking eyes.

I was already having a slight internal crisis about the fact that I was only the same size as his 8 year old daughter despite being 14, but hearing him make fun of me for it sent me over the edge. 'I'm going to get you back for this…' "You know what, yes. I do want up…"

His face froze stiff. I couldn't help but shoot back a wry smile of my own. 'Who's laughing now, jerk.'

He nervously leaned forward. "O-oh, ok…" It was clear he was too shocked to know what he was supposed to do, but I wasn't expecting him to actually grab me and place me on his lap.

Suddenly we were both frozen stiff. 'I didn't think this through…'

Luckily, his wife had some common since. Rolling her eyes, she traded Efah for me and settled the situation expertly.

I didn't have to put up with the awkwardness I brought on myself, but it was still embarrassing being treated like a child nearly half my own age. Still, it was better than the alternative. "Thank you…" I whispered.

She just smiled warmly, "Sorry, he can be a little ridiculous sometimes. Still, why would you say that if it would make you so uncomfortable? You should be more careful with your jokes."

I turned red just thinking about it. "He started it…" I mumbled. It was probably the most childish thing I could have said. Judging from the way she chuckled, I think she probably thought the same. 'So embarrassing…'

"Ok, well. I'm all warmed up now, so I guess I'll be heading out." I had expected Elsie to set me down when I said that, but instead she just held on tighter.

"I don't think so. Not until your hands and feet stop looking so red. We don't want you getting frostbite again."

I groaned.

"Here, holding this will help." She said, passing me a mug of Anise milk. It wasn't anything extravagant, just warm milk mixed with honey, sugar, and an Anise star. Still, the anticipation of trying it was almost too much for me to take.

A myriad of emotions flooded through my mind. My old mothers face flashed before my mind as I thought of how she would always make me a warm cup of milk before I went to sleep, and the faint memory of milk and cream tasting so sweet I would drool over it came at the same time.

I was almost afraid to actually try it, not knowing how I would react. I knew it was fully possible I would break down in tears, missing my mom, but it was just as likely a part of me would melt with happiness at the sweet taste of the sugar and honey.

"You're not going to drink it?"

Hearing her concerned voice made me feel so small and fragile, making me curl up slightly. "I-I…" I didn't know what to say. I wanted to. I desperately wanted to, but what if doing so just did more harm than good, reminding me of things I would never have again.

"That's fine, it will warm your hands at least."

I stared down at it, letting the warm steam lift into my face. After pausing again, I decided I would drink it. I slowly lifted the glass up, preparing myself, resolving that whatever it tasted like, and no matter how much it reminded me of my mom, I wouldn't cry.

As I took a sip, I found out I was right. I felt like I was melting, sinking back into Elsie as if she were an older sister. Chills went through my body at how sweet and delicious it was, its heat contrasting my cold hands and body.

I was also right about the memories though. Once I took the first sip it became impossible to hold them back. The warmth from Elsie holding me only compounded it, and I had to hold back tears.

She kissed my head and squeezed me tighter, as if she somehow knew, trying to comfort me. That only made it worse though. I set the glass down on a side table and wrapped my arms around myself, burying my face into her, hiding any tears that leaked out and making sure I didn't make a noise.

No one else made a sound either, there was only silence as she pulled the blanket tighter around me and held me close.

Before long I managed to get a hold of myself, wiping my eyes and turning away from her again. I was still overflowing with emotions, but somehow I was controlling them, not letting them leak out.

I took another sip of the warm milk and my heart began to melt. The sweet smell mixed with the sugary rich flavor sent chills down my spine. "So good…" I muttered, another tear falling down my face.

"You know, it's ok for you to act like a kid every now and then." Elsie whispered, smiling at me.

My face turned red, embarrassed about the whole situation as I felt a calm tiredness slowly overtake me. "I might as well be one…" I snarked, now making fun of my size myself.

"I guess you better finish your milk then."

It wasn't a bad joke, but I wasn't exactly in a laughing mood either. "It's good… But I kind of feel guilty." I had broken the rules so many times when I was younger, trying every shortcut and weight line I could to make training and everything easier on myself.

After so many times though I just gave up. Even if I got away with breaking a rule, the punishment if I got caught was far worse than the feeling of freedom I got from it. I knew this was different, I wasn't exactly breaking a rule, just accepting a gift. Still, in the back of my mind I couldn't shake the feeling that somehow it was wrong.

I pushed that feeling even further down, drinking the rest as fast as I could, filling my stomach was a roaring flame. When I set the mug back down and looked back at Elsie, instead of the disappointment that would have surely been strewn all over Mara's face, I was met with a warm smile.

"Little girls should get things that are as sweet as they are." She said, her voice finally starting to lose that hint of concern it carried.

I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. "Maybe that's why I get such bitter tea." I mumbled, letting my thoughts bleed out my mouth as my eyes began to feel heavy.

"Siya, no matter what your mo–" Her words faded into a blur as I fell asleep.

I had long forgotten what it was like sleeping with someone next to you. It was so secure, like they would catch you even if you somehow fell out of bed, or like they would shield you from anything that tried to attack you while you were out.