House Steiner’s Raid (2)

"...Maybe it's because the moon is full tonight… it's really bright, isn't it?"

"...I don't know."

"...."

As I answered modestly and walked alongside Talia on the promenade within Reinhafer's territory, I suddenly felt a tidal wave of self-doubt wash over me.

'Ha… this is really bad.'

It's because the situation I'm in isn't one that can be easily overcome with empty words, or because the innocent unit in front of me used to be one of my favorites.

It's only been one main story arc, but I feel like a lot has changed. I'm sure it's because my perception of Nox von Reinhafer is starting to change.

I have to admit that I'm still finding it hard to reject some of the surrounding units.

For example, Talia and Princess Penelope.

Honestly, I can't say the same for the Princess because it's a bit of a coercion....

It's clear that these were units I shouldn't have gotten along with, and that associating with them was a huge gamble on my part.

But so what?

It was my choice, too.

Who I am today is a product of my past, so it's pointless to blame anyone.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah? What?"

I asked calmly, and Talia looked away for a moment, her red eyes sparkling like jewels, before locking eyes with mine.

A gaze that met softly.

Talia's pupils were like a pure white moon with bleached gray hair.

"It's a marriage pact, after all. I suppose the family's position is important, but... your own wishes are the most important thing anyway."

"I guess…yeah. I guess. It's not such an easy matter after all...."

Her demeanor hesitant. A moment of silence.

Anyway, it's quite bright tonight. 

The moon and stars are beautiful, and hanging low. Sometimes it feels like this world is almost like the one I used to live in.

Of course, back then I could barely see the stars, and all I could see was the view out the window while I smoked, but whatever.

'Come to think of it, it's been a while since I've had a cigarette.'

Just when I thought I was making good on my promise to myself.

Suddenly, Talia grabbed my sleeve and spoke up.

"Well, I don't know... the hard stuff yet, and in fact, there are too many things that are missing for me to really say anything, but... at least I don't hate this marriage."

....

I'm a little scared.

It's not just because Talia's words are overwhelming.

I've experienced Talia as a character. I think back for a moment to her playthrough data from when I was playing Inner Lunatic, when she was nothing more than a unit.

What was Talia like then?

Did she say the same things she says now?

Was she... What kind of person was Talia?

I don't really know.

I feel like my memories of the past are fading away.

I'm starting to adjust to this world, and I'm truly accepting it as reality, so I'm only using my memories here as a guide.

I know I shouldn't blindly approach someone with it, or comfort them.

I know how much that can hurt someone.

I know better than anyone how much pain a rush to judgment can cause, and that's the guy who plays this shitty character, Nox von Reinhafer.

So don't make that mistake.

Together, they're living, breathing people, at least.

So, with eyes that had sunk to the bottom of their sockets, I looked at her and slowly opened my mouth. Slowly but surely.

"I can't afford to make decisions like this yet. I'm sure you already know this, but right now, I… I have a job to do."

Hard words. But what is it?

The response was not what I expected.

"...Yes. That's why you're working harder at the academy."

"…What?"

"It's just that... I've always seen it. Even in Eldain, I saw you keep trying. I've seen you locked in the library until nearly midnight every night, and I've seen you reviewing swordsmanship in the training hall, so I'm sure. Oh, that guy… he can't really afford to care about anyone else right now."

I wonder why.

'It was the unit I was most afraid of at first'

Talia von Steiner, to me, is a disaster.

To Nox, she was the embodiment of the White Flame.

She killed Nox, and at the end of the day, she left him with two pale pupils. Plunged a dagger into his heart, along with their twisted delusions.

They had been enemies to each other, haunting each other like ghosts.

But....

It has become something that exists only in my memory.

Looking back, when bad things were said about me, or when I was in danger. It was Talia who was the most concerned about me.

She was the one who reached out to me when I didn't have any partners in [Joint Martial Arts] class, and she was the one who stood by my side long after I collapsed after defeating Paimon.

Now, I can't help but accept it.

The gap that exists between the Talia von Steiner character I remember from the game and the woman in front of me now....

The gap is subtle and deep.

'She's not a game character. She's a different person, a real, living, breathing human being who exists in this world.'

"...I'm sorry. I can't tell you anything yet." 

So I just tell her that, from the bottom of my heart.

It's the only thing I can think of to say, even if it's irresponsible.

Then, out of nowhere, Talia says.

"You're not in love with the Princess, are you?"

I smirked.

"At least, that's for sure."

"What about the others around her?"

"None of them, really. Like I said, I can't afford it and...."

More than anything,

I know better than anyone that I am a stranger here.

Right after my first possession, of course.

I thought I was human, that I might be swayed by the sight of a beautiful woman.

But I was wrong.

Right now, I think I'm in a state of unspecified anxiety that's clearly coming from somewhere.

I am not yet mature enough to let someone in, not yet fully integrated into this world, and this life is not mine to begin with.

I have to admit that the character Nox von Reinhafer is no more, but that doesn't make his past any less mine.

'But I don't intend to let it go forever.'

Little by little, I'll relive Nox's past, a past that may now be mine, and I hope to understand it.

It can be about my mother, as Rona taught me in the past, or it can be about anyone else.

I'm willing to move forward with anything if it means I can accept Nox as a person, little by little.

Because I think that's the first step to understanding them.

It was at that moment that I heard a clear voice.

"Yes. That's good enough."

With a bright smile, Talia released her uneasy grip on my sleeve, and then she came up behind me, throwing her arms around my shoulders.

Before I knew it, Talia's innocent form was pressed against my slender back and the faint scent of fresh scent wafted between us.

"I still have a chance, don't I? I've got the title of Nox's fiancée, too, so I've got the upper hand right now! Hehe…that's it."

After muttering that, she smiled with a pure expression.

Beautiful, who could not think so at this point, it was a charming smile that made me think so.

Especially a character who loved the Inner Lunatic, and who managed to blossom out of her inferiority complex.

For Yoo Chan, who loved Talia von Steiner, it was even more poignant.

For example, even if it's very different from what I'm used to seeing on my monitor.

"You know, I have a sister."

"Yeah."

"My unni."

Talia did so quietly, clinging to me. She began to reveal her most vulnerable parts to me.

"She's really, really strong… I don't think she's as strong as you, but still! And she hates me.... But… what can I say...."

She trailed off, wrapping her arms around my neck.

"I still want to talk to you about why she hates me, and to do that I need to be strong, because that's what you said."

"I know."

"Do you know why I'm bringing this up all of a sudden?"

"I don't know."

"Because after all these years, I still haven't caught up with you because I'm not good enough. But I'm an idiot, so I haven't given up, because I believe that somehow, some way, I'll always be stronger. So."

Talia's breath touches my ear, her voice warm and light as a spring day.

"I'm not giving up on you either."

* * *

"Hmmmm, that's enough. Thank you, my angelic daughter."

A guest room at House Reinhafer.

Talia and her father's voice echoed in the room where Robert was staying.

For the record, Talia was tying her father's tie.

She'd gotten him to promise not to bully Nox anymore, but she'd also promised to tie his tie every week for the twentieth time.

"Haha, here we are. Reminds me of when you were a kid."

"Why are you suddenly talking about the old days…?"

"You must have been so innocent back then! It's so refreshing to see a girl who cried and begged her dad to marry her find someone she likes so much. Anyway, my little girl takes after her father, and she's got one hell of a face."

"Daddy!"

"Haha, okay. Okay. So why don't you stop tightening my tie?"

"Because I saw you watching."

Talia talked with a lot of air in her cheeks, and before I knew it, Robert had calmed down and sat his daughter down in the chair in front of him.

"Talia."

His voice was suddenly calm.

Talia had watched her father for so long that she had a hunch.

He was about to say something important to her.

And that it was connected to something that troubled him most deeply.

"I don't want you to be too hurt by what happened to your sister. You're both precious daughters to this father, and that won't change in death. She's just… a little worn out right now, so don't push her too hard."

"…Yeah. Okay. I'm a big girl now…!"

She pouted for a moment and hugged her father.

A father is a father after all?

Robert had already realized exactly what was troubling Talia.

He knows that the gap between her and her sister, Celle von Steiner, has grown wider and wider lately, and he knows that it's making her anxious.

He knew all about it, and he told her.

But none of that mattered to Robert.

"You're not like your sister."

"I know. I know, but… there's something I want to tell you, too. And...."

Talia wiped the bitterness from her face, and then she remembered someone's face.

Then she smiles brightly.

"Now I have someone to cheer me on, hehe."

Along with her sunny smile, Robert's expression takes on a deeper depth.

"...Nox, he's at it again...!"

Schiing!

(seuleung!)

When he took out the love note sitting on the table, Talia jumped to her feet in surprise.

"Oh, Daddy!"

She giggled.

"Haha! It's a joke! Judging by the hiccups, it must be him. Nox. That child is changing you little by little."

"Oh really!"

Talia exclaimed angrily, but couldn't help but affirm.

"What the ...I'm pretty sure it is, though I don't really know."

As she answered shyly, Talia remembered Nox's last words to her.

-You can go after her if you want. Just put the hurt aside and clear your head. It'll make it easier on you.

However, Talia did not hear his last whisper.

Because she had fallen asleep on his back. His last words. She missed that one word.

The very last thing Nox said was

-At least the Talia von Steiner I know is strong, and I know she'll get through this.

He said. 

Those were not words he spoke to the Talia on the monitor he'd never met. They were words of advice to a girl who had come so far, who had never given up.

At least, that's what Nox believed.

* * *

After our walk, I closed my eyes for a moment and opened them.

Before I knew it, the next morning had dawned.

I realized why Robert and Theo had insisted on marrying Talia and me, and why.

"...Your father, Theo, is one of the leaders of the Dark Houses, after all, and I know he's trying to organize a rebellion against the imperial family. I wish you every success."

House Steiner has caught wind of our rebellion plans.

They're pretty enthusiastic about it, too. ...

"If the Imperial Family falls, our daughter and you will take over! Hahaha!"

'What a… madman....'

It's not the most appropriate thing to say to someone who might become an elder, but I couldn't help but curse.

I felt it again immediately after being possessed.

Why does my life always turn out so badly?

TN: Taking a mental health break.