1 New Beginning

How can love be so easy but yet so difficult? You want one thing, and the worlds expectations are completely different from yours. When you can't have the one person your heart longs for. It's painful. No matter what everyone else says. He's all I want and no one and nothing can change that.

No matter how hard I try to explain things to my parents they think that me leaving for Germany is going to be the worst mistake of my life. All I hear about is one wrong move and I'm sent to jail, or what if you don't like it there? I on the other hand could care less how they feel about Germany. I'm 18 and I'm free to make my own decisions. Their opinions are full of shit. My family piss me the fuck off. I abruptly slam the door behind me and I walk out of the house. They wouldn't understand how I felt if their lives depended on it. They just can't expect the fact I actually want to do something with my life. By myself and without them for a change.

As I'm walking to my car my heart starts to race. "Am I making the right decision" I think to myself. I dismiss the thought and hop into my car. I start blaring music to help drown out my thoughts on the way to the airport. I arrive at the airport and park my car. I'm pissed off because all the arguing with my parents has caused me to almost be late for my plane. I start sprinting into the airport trying to catch my breath with every passing second. Honestly I think I might have some form of asthma; my chest hurts like hell.

I plop down in the seat assigned for me and slap on some headphones. Ironically the song free falling was playing on repeat, which is just the song you want to hear during your first plane ride. "Everything is just going wrong today" I think to myself. I nuzzle into my seat and throw on a blanket. Right as my favorite verse of the song starts blaring through my headphones the flight attendant comes over the intercom.

"Sorry folks, but there's a ground stop on all flights headed east from here."

I roll my eyes and sink farther into my seat. It looks like I have to board another plane, ugh. I hope something good will come out of today. This shit is exhausting. As soon as I sank into my seat on the second plane I conched out. The plane starts leaning forward as it is landing and it wakes me up from my nap. Which was hours long, but felt like only a few seconds. I can feel every jolt as the plane is slowly descending from the sky. I look down at my phone and it has already changed to the Central European time zone.

How in hell was I asleep the whole flight.

The plane lands abruptly and we start getting off. I am beyond exhausted. Children are whaling because they are hungry, parents are start getting annoyed with their kids and are yelling at them. I've about had enough of it. My headache is surreal and I have no medicine to help calm it down. There are so many people in one small area that it has taken me hours just to get one suitcase. As I'm standing by my suit case I start acting tuning into people around me. The fact they are speaking in German makes me realize that this is all I am going to be hearing for a while. It's somehow is a major shock.

The rain is pounding on my face as I'm walking out of the airport, and I frantically start to search for the taxi my host family had called for me. I start knocking on the window of the taxi not knowing if I should open the door. The taxi driver rolls his eyes and signals for me to get in.

"Rude much" I think to myself, while rolling my eyes. I was just trying to be polite.

I hop in the car and try to settle down and hopefully get my mind off of things. The problem is I can't. The damn driver is driving like a bat out of haides. Swerving in and out of cars, going as fast as he possibly can, and cussing at every car that gets in his way. I don't know what he was complaining for, because what should've taken twenty minutes to get to the house from the airport only took five. For some odd reason that actually pissed me off.

We abruptly stop at a mansion looking house and I hop out the car. In take a deep breath in, and slowly open the French doors of the foreign house I will be spending the next few months in. As soon as I walk in the floors are brought to my attention. They are a beautiful glistening grey and blue cobblestone. It's such a beautiful house. The aroma of ginger fills my lungs as I walk into the kitchen to meet the German family I will be staying with. God, I love this house already.

My eyes lock on a tall woman with platinum blond hair and blue eyes.

"Guten Tag, Ich heiße... i'm sorry, umm."

She stops mid sentence confused as to if she should continue talking. It's obvious she doesn't speak much English. I just smile and look at her.

"Hey, Mrs.Spiegel. My name is Jeanette, it's nice to meet you."

My parents always told me to make the best of an awkward situation, so that's what I did. However, I felt kind of rude cutting her off but what else was there to do. Luckily she just welcomes me with a handshake and asks her daughter Juliane to show me to my room.

It takes us what feels like centuries to climb up the winding staircase, but Juliane finally stops at a set of French doors. Before she reaches for the doors to open them I notice a gymnastics room right beside where I am staying.

"I wish this was my house" I think, or maybe I say because Juliane smiles at me.

Juliane proceeds to open the door. As soon as the door opens I am astonished and don't know what to think nor say. Above my massive bed is a three tier chandelier. The walls are a medium shade of brown that goes perfectly with the light brown hardwood floors. I feel like I am in a dream, but the good kind of dream that no one wants to wake up from. I feel like I'm living in a princess movie.

"Don't get too used to it, you won't be here too terribly long."

I don't know how to take it so I kind of just shrug Juliane off and laugh at her comment.

"True it's only a year."

"Essenzeit" Mrs.Spiegle yelles from the kitchen.

This time change has got me all out of whack. It's lunch time here but back home I would be getting ready for dinner.

Juliane grabs me by the hand and drags me down twenty flights of stairs. It's as if there is a huge meal she's been dying to eat and she has to run to get to it before it disappears. The aroma of the food brushes past my face and I feel my stomach start to rumble. We turn into the huge kitchen which by the way over looks a beach and a massive pool.

Omg I love this house!

I feel like I am being rude so I quickly snap out of my thoughts and back in to reality. Mrs. Spiegle hands me a plate with two Weißwurst on it. I sink my teeth into my food and eat until I'm full. Even though I finished my food about ten minutes ago my mouth is still watering. It tasted so good.

I put my plate in the sink, and Juliane asks if I want to go to a small shopping center in town. I agree to it and we went on our way to surf pool. Surf pool is a shopping mall that has a citiwave pool in the lower tier of the mall. It is the coolest mall I've ever seen in my life. The top level has a bunch of stores and the bottom level has a huge pool. The roof is even made of glass which creates beautiful natural lighting.

Juliane drug me everywhere with her. We went to a bathing suit shop and bought a couple of wet suits for the pool. These bating suits are to die for. They are so damn cute. She then handed me €34 and we head down to the pool. A tall guy takes our €'s and smiles. As I go to hop in the pool the life guard hands me a surfboard. I look at him confused as hell. Juliane forgot to mention it's surf only. I hop on and start riding the waves like a champ. Juliane is beside me, obviously riding the waves way better than I am. She must do this a lot. I thought to myself.

As soon as we get done at the mall Juliane and I walk around town for a few hours. She tells me how Frankfurt, Germany is the birthplace of a famous writer by the name of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, and showed me the places that were damaged and rebuilt during WWII. We went to Altstadt (Old Town) which is the site of Römberge, and she also told me about the Christmas markets held there every year. I had knowledge on Germany but knew nothing about any of this. It's such a beautiful country. I really hope I end up living here when I'm older.

I was having the most fun I've ever had when Juliane looked at me and said we needed to get home before her mom got mad, because she had lost track of time. We called a taxi and Juliane asked how I was liking Germany so far.

"I wish I lived here" I said a little too loud and the driver must have heard me because he looked at me through his rear view mirror.

Me and Juliane just look at each other and chuckle under our breath. Before I knew it we had arrived at Juliane's house. She opened the front door slowly and we dashed up the stairs before her mom realized we had been gone past her curfew.

"Want to play a game" Juliane asked with a thick German accent.

I nod my head with a solid yes. Juliane looks at me, smiles, and pulls out a board game called Carcassonne. It's a really fun German game set in medieval times. Were deep into the game when the conversation started to get serious.

"I know this is random but people usually ask why my dad's never around, so before you get ideas I'll just tell you." She took a long pause and stared me in the face.

I am completely taken off guard and therefore I don't respond to her. I just give her a blank stare.

"He died four years ago when I was in eighth grade" Tears start bubbling in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry" I proceed to say when she points at the board game asking if we can get back to the game to get her mind off her dad.

I shake my head up and down, because I can't seam to be able to speak. We start playing again. We played the game for hours until we were forced to stop playing to eat dinner, and then once again to go to bed.

I lie awake for hours staring into space. Scared out of my mind. Tomorrow is my first day in a German school and I'm scared I'm going to be shy, lock up, or even get offend by someone for absolutely no reason. These thoughts are racing through my mind as my heart begins to start pounding out of my chest. I can barely breathe and it feels as if my body is going to shut down if I take another breath. Inhaling and Exhaling slowly trying to calm myself I start thinking about how sweet the Spiegel's are and how much I love their house. For some odd reason that's my happy place.

Slowly I drift off to sleep. I can hear the music that is blasting through Juliane's walls start to fade in the distance. My body starts calming with every breath I slowly inhale. My eyelids get heavy and next thing I know I am out like a light.