1 Chapter One

Harry Ajax flashed the cameras around him a sneaky smile as his bodyguard Adrian dragged his drunk figure along the roadside, placing him in the black Range Rover.

Harry's head briefly registered the screams and flashes as he placed his pounding head against the black leather of the corporate car, groaning when he heard a door bang close.

"Could you try holding your god damn liquor next time?" he heard Adrian spit as the car started moving.

Harry giggled and held a ring-clad pointer finger to his head, "I'm off the meds, don't you think I'm better off dead?" he questioned, hiccupping afterwards.

Adrian sighed and held a hand to his temple.

For the past three days, it had been the same story.

Harry had been getting drunk constantly, refusing to take his medication, and just being an outright brat.

For what reason, nobody knows.

"You know Adrian, why is life so, so," Harry suddenly spoke whilst waved his large hands around, trying to find a word in his drunken state.

"so mean." he concluded, grinning as Adrian sighed for what felt the thousandth time.

"Harry, would you mind telling me exactly what happened?"

"Nothing happened mate, life just pisses me off."

Harry rolled his head to the side, now looking out the window which was tinted from the outside.

When he was younger, he remembered what it was like to love someone, also leaving him.

Well, to Harry, it couldn't really be considered loving him sensing they were never allowed to be together. But, Harry knew there had to be something more for them, there just had to be.

He genuinely cared about him, the first person he as a young boy genuinely wanted.

But of course, Harry Ajax could never have anything nice.

Which was also a lie.

Harry's liquor ridden mind briefly flitted back to his life before he signed to his label.

He remembered when he was 15, how excited he would be to see his favorite band play on stage, while wearing the shirt he bought just for that occasion. He thought about how he was able to enjoy the music without having people screaming his name or asking for pictures.

He remembered how he could be around his lover freely until he turned 17, when he threw everything to the dogs for fame.

Harry appreciated everything he has, hell he worked his arse off for it, but there are days where he wishes he could go back.

And on those days he wishes he could, he reminds himself he would rather be a filthy rich playboy than a nobody.

"Adrian, have you ever been in love?" Harry suddenly asked, still looking outside.

His bodyguard smiled as he thought of his girlfriend, "Yes I have, and it's one of the most beautiful things in the world."

"What makes it so beautiful? It seems more like a burden, having to answer to someone, having to think of them every time you want to make a decision."

"It all depends on how you look at it Mr. Ajax, it can be a burden and a blessing at the same time."

Harry scoffed, "How?"

"If you truly love that person, having to do those extra little things wouldn't matter, and as for it being a burden, the only time it would be a burden is if you or them are being unfaithful." Adrian spoke, his mind displaying pictures of his lover.

Harry laughed and ran a hand through his chocolate-brown hair, "I call bullshit, love is an emotion that can come and go Adrian, it's never there forever."

Adrian looked at his employer thoughtfully, "Why do you say so?"

"They can up and leave whenever they want to, and there's nothing you can say about it. Love fucks us all up Adrian, have you seen the amount of people who were ready to take their lives because of their 'lovers'? It's absolute nonsense." Harry spoke, venom lacing his words.

"Mr. Ajax, every love has a different form. For you, love could come in the form of music, has music ever left you broken?" Adrian questioned.

Harry let out a rueful laugh, "Adrian, music fucking broke me, but saved me at the same time."

Adrian sighed as they pulled up to Harry's house.

He pulled Harry out of the car, the large man fumbling in his black Chelsea boots as Adrian dragged him to his house.

When inside, Adrian practically threw Harry on the couch, "Get yourself together Mr. Ajax. I strongly suggest you do before Friday, if you still want to have a job."

Harry rolled onto the floor, glancing at the door as Adrian slammed it close, the sound of the Range Rover's engine becoming more and more distant with each second.

He lifted himself up off the floor and stumbled into his marble decorated kitchen, flicking the lights on to reveal a white-themed kitchen.

Harry pulled a glass from the shelf and filled it with water, his shaking hands bringing it to his cherry-red lips, gulping it down with a sudden thirst.

It hadn't always been like this, it used to be better.

Happier.

When Harry first signed with his record label, he was happy, young and free.

He was put in a group with three other boys, and one of those boys just happened to be his downfall.

Harry always wanted to be able to love freely, openly, without trauma or trouble.

And when he was a hairs breath away from having it all, he just had to throw it all away, and for what.

Fame?

Money?

Girls?

If Harry was being honest with himself, he would go back and tear the contract to shreds.

And so once more, he pulls a whiskey bottle out of his cabinet, screwing it open and gulping it down, his thoughts flushing down with the stale burn of it all.