Pirate-Cowboy and the Lasso Pirates

I think I shat myself.... Nevermind. If I beg him to let me live, maybe he will let me go? Crap, I can't talk. My whole body is frozen. This is the first time a monster has been so close to me. I want to go home.

Please. Let me leave.

*RUMBLE* *RUMBLE* *RUMBLE* *RUMBLE*

HIS FACE IS TOTTALY "YOU ARE DEAD" FACE.

"WH-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU???" the monster yelled, and its face was exetremly inhuman.

Saying that Im S class hero King wont help me here. Shit. It worked a couple of times, but not today. Damn it.

My throat is sore, I think. I need to answer. JUST ANYTHING.

"...I am just a nobody. Do whatever you want. "

That will work, right? Why would a monster waste its time on someone like me? I need to run away from it. Just run. I don't have that kind of strength in me. Maybe I can get away with it.

Just walk. Just walk. Just walk.

*RUMBLE* *RUMBLE* *RUMBLE* *RUMBLE* *RUMBLE*

Is it following me? Is it? I hear a large thud. A large figure of that monster is lying on the ground.

Huh? Did it die from a heart attack? A hero may have got it? I guess I just didn't hear it. Pheew. My heart calms down.

There is some people in uniform on the other side of the street. Are they from Hero Assotiation? Also, this street looks strange; the homes look old and most of them are really short. No normal roads either? Where the hell am I? Do they have games?

I notice people in white are helping each other standup. Looking at me. I need to go away. Maybe I'll find a bus station or something. Crap, I don't have my hat. People are definitely going to swarm me.

I walked quite a bit to finally see a normal street. Well, almost. It looked old, but other things are still recognizable. I'll ask for a phone at that cafe. Can't go wrong.

People on the street didn't swarm me as usual. That's different. They looked at me funny, but maybe this time they finally realized that I don't like noise. I can't wait to go home.

As I opened the wooden door to the cafe, I saw that it was swarmed with a huge number of cowboy type costumed people. Do they have a cosplay event? I won't bother them. They all look at me. Maybe it's a closed event? It should be fine if I just ask for the city name and a glass of water.

Bar table? Alcohol? It's a bar? I've never been to one, but now I know why it stinks like that.

As I walk to the bar, I mumble to myself:

"This place tottally reeks like a public bathroom."

Big burly bartender with mutton chops looks at me funny. It's a fan, huh?

"Don't worry, I won't ruin anything. I will be quick. Glass of wa-"

"SO YOU CAME FOR MY HEAD, HUH?"

Man behind me screamed. I think my head is going to hurt from it later.

Is this their roleplay? They are overplaying. You can surely express your emotions without being THIS loud.

"I am Jonah Jiffy John Jimmy Jeferson, a pirate with 5 million berry bounty, and you think you can kill me AND my crew? The captain of lasso pirates? What a fool!"

He takes out his revolver, which looks nice but a bit overkill in my opinion. Sometimes all gold is not that nice. Also:

"So you are a pirate or a cowboy. Please explain?"

They really need to choose one. Maybe they are just passionate beginners, but I've read plenty of manga to know that those two do not work together.

"So you have chosen death?" said J-whatever pirate-cowboy.

Man, he is really getting heated. It's all fine since it seems like most of other people are enjoying the show and laughing. Maybe it's their best bit. I don't want to spend too much time here though. I turn to the bar and ask for water.

"I don't think it's a good idea to flaunt a gun around nowadays; you can get into trouble, you know?"

Man, he is really a good actor. Have I seen some shows with him lately? He is really acting like I am his mortal enemy and wants to shoot me.

"Also, can anyone please lend me their phone, I just need to call someone really quick."

Hero assotiation sends helicopters quite a lot. And well, as I saw, this place doesn't even have roads, so no getting on the bus for me. It's a good thing I have their number memorized.

As the pirate-cowboy dude shouts and laughes to his crew, and it's really way too loud, might I say, the door flies off its hinges. What? That door looked expensive, why would somebody do that?

The same people in white with old guns rushed in and swarmed the place. What's going on?

Two groups looked at each other with incredible tension until came in an old man in full white sheriff's costume with Marine written all over. Local police? He looked at the cowboys as he spoke:

"We know a man with three scars over his eye is here. Come out!"

Huh? Why not just call me King if you are from Hero Assotiation?

"No damn way, McSheriff! He is ours!" yelled the J dude as he pointed his gun at the sheriff.

"Who would know your death is today? READY!" commanded the sheriff as his man pointed their guns.

Isn't this too much? This roleplay gotta stop. I say:

"If you are playing around, just stop. It will not be good in the end. "

The Sheriff in full white, looks at me with visible beads of sweat on his forehead.

I just want to go home.

The whole room tenses up even more, especially the white uniform people. These people are way too into roleplay.