XIII

She woke up with a scream, another nightmare and the throbbing of her head was the first thing to grip her attention. It felt like her very own brain was being squeezed in someone's fist and it hurt like hell.

[Awake at last are we?] came a voice in her mind and she gasped

"No" she muttered under her breath as she furiously shook her head in absolute denial. She couldn't have set her free, how How? And as the voice laughed in her mind, her heart took a plummet to the pit of her stomach.

Her panic attack must have severed her walls, the walls she had tried so hard to keep up only to keep out what lurked on the other side.

[Aww, you wound me sweet Bella, and here I thought you'd be happy with my return.] It mocked, 

She remembered then why she had lost it and broke down, the letter, although it had little information of who wrote it, should anyone find it, they would know it was addressed to her, and make them question what this dark world was that they wanted her to stay away from, what it is they meant when they told her to live without being vengeful and hateful, to stay away from all the death and blood. Blood that already drenched her sweet sweet hands.

[You've kept me away a long time, I'm impressed, but now I want my retribution dear love.]

`No we can't, mom and dad said we can't,` she shook her head no which enraged the voice in her head

[They have to pay, He has to pay!] It angrily exclaimed. 

`No Sin we can't` she sighed out, gritting her teeth at the raging headache that thrummed at her attempt to keep her back.

It's has been 12 years since her diagnosis, a multiple personality disorder and a year and a half since she locked her other side away. She couldn't hold back her anger then, her hatred for the man that had kick started her fucked up life, the man that had made sure he screwed her up and over, over and over again.

[That's it, give in Bellaboo you know you want to.] Sin taunted,

At the name a calm fell over her. That's what her daddy used to call her, and although she loved him to death, she would respect his death wish more than avenge him. With her mind firmly set, the voice sighed and muttered out

[Fine, I'll let it go, for now. Where are we anyway, what are we gonna do now that AHQ is gone?]

`You're gonna learn to be a good girl, like daddy wanted me to be.`

Neither parts of her missed the fact that she addressed both of them as one, for although she didn't like what her other side craved, it was part of her, she was who she was, and the sooner she accepted that perhaps the better they could be, and she wouldn't need to build walls up or take medication.

She scrunched her nose up then, for she hated taking pills, she was paranoid in a sense that they could lead to certain illnesses although they were meant to heal you. She really didn't trust the little bitter but sometimes sweet things.

[Good?] Sin gave a mirthful chuckle then. [We both know that I Don't do good Bella, don't insult me please] she stated

Bella knew then that she was in for trouble, she didn't trust herself when like that for she knew she would be unpredictable, she hoped that she wouldn't have blackouts like she did back in that house. When she would wake up with nothing but blood everywhere with no idea what she had done.

Being that that's what Sin tended to do to her when she felt like punishing her for either ignoring her or not doing as asked. Shaking her head and furiously so, a sense of conviction set in her mind, she refused to let herself mess this up as well. For Honolulu was meant to be a second chance for her, an even better experience.

Ignoring Sin's amused chuckle at her thoughts, she got up from the floor only for her eyes to land on the uneaten plate of food, and she noticed the prominent hunger in her stomach. Not liking the idea of cold toast, she passed her way through her room to her kitchen and warmed her plate in the microwave.

For that minute she took deep breaths in, and one glance at the view, she was calm, her mood lifted from the ground, she smiled then. The beeping of the machine took her from her thoughts and she took her plate out and perched onto one of the bar stools, she let out an exasperated sigh then, she had left her orange juice back in her bedroom and she felt too lazy to get up again only to go get it, alas she did anyway.

[Honolulu...it seems pretty] Sin started 

Bella merely nodded as she picked out her clothes, done with her breakfast that thankfully had had no spec of egg shell in it, although it wasn't a five-star plate of food, she found that it was decent for her first try, unseasoned as it was.

She contemplated the notion of seeing a therapist but that thought flickered alive for but a second before it was extinguished by the fact that she would have to open up and be honest, and she would have more medication prescribed to her and she found that she wasn't ready to give in just yet.

And so treatment would wait, because she could do it on her own. I could do this she thought to herself, her conviction now lacking, only to repeat the words in her mind again, with more meaning second time around. Sin simply remained quiet in the back of her mind, and simply looked through her eyes as she settled for denim shorts and a white blouse with yellow chucks.

She thought it to be weird in comparison to what they had had to always have on at AHQ, it had always been nothing but black with zero colour, and she only scoffed at the memory of what she had had to wear back at the house, nothing but oversized dirty hand-me-downs.

[Good riddance] she lowly spat.

Bella simply ignored the memories for she didn't want to think back to the past, because quite frankly, she wanted it forgotten as if it had never happened. Today she would explore as the tourist she was, well sort of, being that she would come to live there.

As she sat in the bathtub filled to the brim with rainbow colours, she found that she loved bath bombs, she scrolled through her phone in search for things to do in Honolulu, and of course the first thing that popped up was top sights to see in Honolulu.

Clicking on the arts and Culture bubble, and a long list of things appeared, she figured she would check out the Honolulu museum of art, then she would visit a zoo, perhaps hit the beach then settle for a nice peaceful evening meal.

[You're not serious are you, all that seems all too mundane and boring] whined Sin in her mind and Bella could only roll her eye

`And what would you have me do then, go to an underground fighting ring? the gun range? or wait, go street racing in a city where we know no soul nor have the lowdown of how things work here. All those options are just too risky`

[Risky? what do you mean, we never cared about that before.] As she caught on to her thoughts, she realised then that Bella was hiding something, or someone

[Bella] she started again

`Don't please Sin, just give me a break please.`

[Just who are we hiding from? I want to know.] Except she didn't have to wait even second to get her answer, Bella's memories flooded the both of them and she could tell half of her was beyond furious.

[I see] was all Sin said to Bella's surprise. Okay then, we'll keep low for now I guess. And Bella let out a sigh 

`Thank you`

However, it seemed Bella's day would turn out different than planned, a reminder of why she never did like planning anything to begin with. The first sign was when she had worn her flip flops and shoved her new cell phone and a few notes in her pocket with her card and made for the door, only to meet her neighbour.

Her hair was an inky blackwith dark brown eyes and pink lips, a tad bit shorter than she was and seemed a few years older than her, but she thought her to be pretty. Her pink dress complimented her tanned brown skin and she loved the array of necklaces combined with beady ones she had around her neck.

She realised then she knew not even a lick of Hawaiian as the woman offered her a greeting she could catch, except the rest of the words that had tumbled out of the young woman's mouth had sounded like nothing but gibberish to her brain, and all she could do was awkwardly smile and say

"I'm sorry, I don't really speak Hawaiian" her grin more a cringe, the young woman chuckled then and shook her head

"Right, I'm sorry, I just assumed since this apartment is not really tourist territory and you're In Hawaii" her words were laced with an accent and Bella resisted face palming herself for her stupidity as she thought, 'of course I would move to a random place and forget that they spoke a different language.'

"Yea, it's okay, it understandable. I'm B- I mean Delilah, I'm Delilah, your new neighbour I guess" she held out her hand which the other young woman accepted

"Nice to meet you Delilah, I'm Lila and welcome to Honolulu" (Pronounced Lie-lah)

"Thanks." She said, only to be struck by a thought she voiced a second later

"Uhh, I'm sorry if this Is weird but, do you perhaps know where I can attend cooking classes, I'm apparently hopeless in the kitchen" she questioned

"Well would you look at that, quite a coincidence you would ask, cause my husband Milo is a chef at Senia restaurant and he gives afternoon classes down at Zumai's kitchen, not too far from here, just wait here a second I'll bring a pamphlet for you" she said only to disappear within her apartment only to reappear a few minutes later with a piece of paper that seemed to have all the information she would need.

"That really is quite a coincidence huh. Anyways thank you" she said folding the paper up only to shove it in her jean packet.

"I guess I'll see you around then" she bid farewell to the woman that continued watering the big plant next to her apartment door.

"Of course" came the woman's response.

Bella then came to be distracted by the ukulele player along the bay who as if feeling her eyes on him glanced her way, near his feet on the bricked sidewalk was a board sign that said Ukulele lessons for $20. Having the curiosity of a child, that was what she ended up doing for an hour before she felt the heat of the sun and she thought to get something cold to drink from a café that also seemed to sell a ton of sushi.

A delicacy she came to spit at first bite with her face scrunched up in disgust from the raw fish and sea weed, and she decided from then that she hated raw fish. Caring little for the eyes that watched her either amused or disgusted themselves by her outwardly display of her dislike for the food, she incessantly rubbed at her tongue for but a minute before taking sips of her cold lime drink to rid of the taste from her tongue.

As she released the straw from her lips, she heard a chuckle come before her, and she looked up then. The young man before her had shaggy brown hair with pretty hazel eyes, he seemed tall from where she sat and she felt her cheeks flame as her eyes flitted down to his naked chest to see his washboard abs.

"I take it you're not a fan of seafood then?" he questioned with a knowing smirk on his lips

"Raw fish" she corrected, "I don't know how people can get that" she said leaning back on her chair, her inky pools directly clashing with his own eyes and she almost smirked herself when she saw him slightly fidget on his feet. For she held no smile nor was she blushing any longer, as she looked at him trying to get a read of just why he approached her to begin with, she couldn't help but be on guard and suspect jus about everyone around her.

"Uhh, yea, to each their own right? I mean some might say it's an acquired taste" he said rubbing at the back of his neck only to unintentionally flex his arm

"Right" she said having more fun watching him squirm than not, someone called out an order and his head turned toward the till, and he shot her a glance before he walked toward the till. After paying as he made for the door, but before he could walk out, he stopped and offered,

"Me and the others offer surfing lessons down at the beach, maybe you might like it instead" he suggested.

"I'll think about it" she said with a nod. He was obviously an American from his accent and she wondered just how many people here spoke English and if whether she would have to learn Hawaiian as well. She thought then that it would do no harm considering her decent list of languages she could already speak.