Kids who were never children

"Fuck!" Sam shouted as he scooped up the two piles of clothes, grabbing both little boys and as much of their clothes. The witch was gone in a spit of smoke, sticky substance absorbed into their skin, shrinking them down and aging them down.

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"They're… 4?" Bobby asked as he watched the two little boys sleeping in the backseat floor of the impala. They were small… wobbly on their feet. All cozied up under Cas's trench coat covered up by shirts that could fit three of them in each.

"Probably. Cas can't talk and Dean… was he like this when he was actually this young?" Sam asked, wiping a hand over his face as he leaned against the car. Bobby was kinda… happy looking down at little Dean Winchester. He remembered why Dean was that little. Before he realized what it meant that they couldn't go home… or that his mother was gone. When he was still giggly and sweet and like carnivals and cotton candy.

"Well… he's got to be 4 or 5… he was like this right when your father started after yellow eyes." Bobby supplied and started trying to think of what happened or what they were gonna wear or anything else. Sam blew out a breath… he was a big brother now… shit.

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"Hey Dean, how old are you?" Bobby asked as he finished taking Dean's temperature. Cas was useless, health wise, he was still an angel. The boy kicked his legs where they dangled off the edge of the box he was sitting on, some old wooden box of ammo that Bobby had been going through.

"Umm, I dunno. I can't really count. You're like a million years old like a like a dinosaur. And Sammy's like… twelve, I think." Dean said looking at Sam, he knew Sam but… didn't know how.

"Why are you saying I'm old? That's not very nice." Bobby said and gave Dean a stern look which caused the boy to look shocked and confused.

"But… but you have grey hair I thought grey meant you're old. I'm sorry." Dean said and started to cry. Bottom lip starting to tremble, big green eyes welling up with crystal tears, chest starting to jump with quickened breath.

Bobby shushed him and patted his back.

"I understand that's okay, that's alright. I am old aren't I Sam?" Bobby said and kept a steady patting on the boy's back. Sam chuckled and nodded.

"Yeah totally, super old." Sam said which made Bobby roll his eyes but Dean nodded.

"So it's okay?" He asked and looked at the two grown ups. They nodded.

They have got to find a cure.

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Castiel was sitting on the floor, feet covered by way too big socks, an old tattered pillowcase caught in his hand. He'd found the thing somewhere, it was white and stained with gold embroidery on the edges. He always had it towed behind him. Bobby had said it was probably a hex bag or a motel's when bags got lost. Castiel seemed to never wanna let go of it, always pressing it to his cheek or rubbing it lightly over his eyes. It was probably more than tears and snot than fabric, Cas was always crying. Always feeling too much all at once, frustrated and confused.

He was crying, thumb shoved in his mouth. Eyes welled up and dripping.

"Cas? What's wrong man?" Sam asked and looked down at the kid. He was pretty cute. Eyes huge and glittery all pudgy and soft and fluffy. He was sitting with his legs straight out in front of him, back straight like a board, shirt hanging off him where it was safety pinned at the neck to keep it on him.

Sam was checking in on him, seeing if he had to go potty since Dean had already wet his… shirt? Whatever, Dean made a mess and Cas hadn't been to the bathroom in over a day.

Castiel just mumbled and made uppy hands at Sam who sighed and bent down to pick him up on his hip.

"Sah…ah" the little raven haired boy tried and shoved his face in Sam's shoulder.

He didn't talk. Couldn't.

Sam guessed it was because angels just knew how to talk and were never really babies, never had to learn. Dean talked fine but Cas just… babbled on like he knew he could make sound but didn't know how to make words. He often just repeated sounds, bu bu bu, tuh tuh tuh, chuchuchu. He made sounds that were almost words, like he knew a word but couldn't shape it.

"Yeah yeah babble babble. Aren't you like a million years old? Are angels ever babies?" Sam asked and rubbed the kids back. Castiel sniffed and his breathing slowed down as he calmed down.

"Whoo-oo huh bububbubub" the kid said and wiped his face back and forth across Sam's shirt getting tears and snot all over it. But that was the state of most of their clothes. Bobby usually had a sleepy Castiel over his shoulder and Sam often had to rock the kid to calm him down.

"That one I got. Dean's out getting clothes with Bobby. Can you say Dean? Huh? Say Dean, Dee-ean" Sam said. Bububub or anything with bub in it was usually referring to Dean and bou or anything 'ou' was usually Sam or Bobby.

"Bububbub" he mumbled again and pulled at Sam's shirt. He just toyed with it, a frustrated look starting to carve itself onto his chunky face.

"Alright, how about bubba? Huh say bubba?" Sam tried and walked to the kitchen. Honey on a spoon has been the only thing to calm the baby down. Honey or having all the TV's and radios playing static loudly.

"Bub bub bubbubbubu bubba" Cas babbled and sat on the counter cross legged. He was a small kid, a few inches short than Dean and at least five pounds lighter. Probably clocking in at 36lbs and 41 inches tall. Dean was a bit bigger, even as a kiddo.

"Good job. No more crying, we'll see Dean in a few." Sam said and handed the kid a little spoon with honey on it. He carried the kid back to the living room and stuck him in front of the TV and turned on a kids show, something about letters and sounds. He dug into some books trying to find anything that didn't just say 'wait it out' .

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"Sammyyyyyyy, we're hooooooome" Dean yelled as he pulled his little backpack behind him as it was filled with clothes and stuff. Bobby had called around a bit and had scavaged up enough clothes. And a few toys. And had gone and bought a few things. Dean had picked out most of it, making sure he got stuff that would make him look handsome and that would make Cas look 'purdy'.

Sam walked through and patted Dean's back as he hugged his legs. It was weird to be the oldest now. Weird to see Dean so giggily and light, there was still so much joy twinkling behind his eyes.

"Hey buddy" Sam said and watched his brother struggle to pull the heavy bag across the floor, refusing to ask for help like always.

"We got clothes and stuff and stuff for Cassy and and we got him a dolly. Well I found a teddy bear with clothes on it but Cas'll like the dolly with the bear's clothes and then I can have the teddy bear." Dean explained and pulled the bag to the library where Cas was usually sitting on the back of the couch watching.

Perching really. Sitting cross legged on the back of the couch. The cushion had started to sag from where he'd climb up and sit, look out the window.

"Cassy Cassy come here, I got clothes that'll fit." Dean said. He'd already changed into a pair of jeans and a little brown hoodie and a pair of dinosaur printed sneakers.

He started pulling out clothes, mostly jeans and flannel and hoodies and a few pairs of overalls and some nice button ups. He pulled out a few packs of socks and t-shirts and two packs of underwear.

He had made Bobby buy a pack of underwear for each of them, they couldn't share. Dean had gotten a pack of soft briefs that had stripes on them, and Cas a pack of boxers with mountains and mooses and geese on them cause Cas liked animals.

Cas turned and looked at him, pillow case stuffed in his mouth a bit and slobbery. He looked interested, sliding down the cushion to sit on the actual seat.

"Yeah, here I'll help, I'll help Cassy put them on." Dean said and looked at the grown ups who nodded and went to put away the snacks that Bobby had thought to get. Mostly cookies and snacks and juice boxes.

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"Ah, nuh" Cas yelled out and then there was a thud. Sam rushed into the library and Cas was dressed but Dean was pushed back onto his butt on the floor.

Cas had on a pair of black jeans that were too big, a white t-shirt and a soft tan zip up jacket. But there was a sock on the floor in front of him and one in Dean's hand. Cas was crying, sniffling, hands searching for his pillowcase that was set to the side.

Sam was about to come in and ask if they were okay but Dean was up hugging Cas.

"It's okay, Cassy, you don't gotta wear socks. But you should ask papa to roll up your pants cause you'll fall down." Dean said and Cas nodded and Dean found a towel to wipe at Cas's face. It was actually one of Sam's flannels but he didn't care, he just wanted Cassy to stop crying.

"I got you something too here move this stuff…" Dean said excitedly and dug out the rest of the clothes, throwing them onto the chair and sat down on the floor which Cas mirrored. There was a decent pile of clothes ranging from only a little big to would fit them in a decade.

Cas cocked his head to the side looking interested in what Dean was doing. The dirty blonde boy was digging in the big backpack and pulled out different toys.

"I got some cars and papa got us these cause they look super duper fun see you'll like them" Dean said and pulled out the different cars and such and the box of magnet tiles which Cas took and turned over a few times before setting them to the side and looking back at Dean. Though he didn't seem it, he was very excited to do whatever a magnet tile was.

"And I got this bear, see he's for me, I'm gonna name him Barney." Dean explained and handed the bear over for Cas to hug once and hand it back to Dean. It was for him, though it was a very nice bear, fluffy and cozy and looked like the bear from TV from the blue house.

"And I got you… this! It's a dolly and it looks like me so you don't gotta be lonely." Dean explained and pulled out the doll. It had had its hair chopped off so it was short and brown and was a simple cabbage patch doll wearing a little flannel and a pair of jeans.

Cas looks at with wide eyes and takes it into his hands and holds it to his chest, bringing his knees up to cage it in, close to his chest, squeezing it tight.

"Lubbu lu lub nov… nov eh" Cas tried to say like he knew what he wanted to come out of his mouth but didn't know how to make it. He cried and held the doll close to his chest, not letting go at all. His eyes squeezed tight and hugged it, he felt… a lot. Good a lot.

"Yay! I knew you'd like it and and now we can wash your binky cause it's all slobbery. And papa got us sleeping bags since you keep falling outta bed. So we can have like a sleep over like a real one." Dean explained and set up his cars on the edge of the desk. He sat the bear up against the couch.

They'd been sleeping in the panic room, sharing the cot while Sam or Bobby slept in a chair that they had dragged down there. However Cas rolled and moved around a lot in his sleep and often fell off the cot and hurt himself. Plus Dean had nightmares a lot and sometimes he hit Castiel and then they both cried and then they had to be cuddled back to sleep.

Plus Bobby had bought them really cool sleeping bags that had space and cars on them well a space one for Cas since he usually loved space stuff. And Dean got the car one so they could sleep on the floor and not get too cold and Bobby said they'd make a blanket on the floor too.

Just like a sleepover like the one on TV with Big Bird! Dean loved Big Bird.

"Beb? Beh bah?" Cas asked, looking at Dean confused. He didn't know about… any of that. Sleeping was for bed under the blankies. Not in a bag.

"Uh sleeping bag. It's like a blanket that zippers up and and they're super cool. You'll love it, it's like getting hugged allllll night!" Dean explained and Cas smiled; he liked being hugged.

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It was time for them to get cleaned. Sam agreed to get Dean in the upstairs bathroom and Bobby would clean Cas in the downstairs bathroom. They had been putting it off for three days now. They just kept saying if they broke the curse, if they could make them grown. So far they'd only read that they had to wait it out and that it could last a few days or… well they would grow up again eventually. But they wouldn't stop looking because they couldn't hunt without them. And Sesame Street was getting old .

Sam made sure the water was warm and that there were towels and such waiting on Dean, who had his arms crossed still dressed at the door.

"You can't make me. I don't wanna." He said and Sam stood over the little boy. Dean was stubborn, somethings never change. He had a tough look on his face, staring right back into Sam's eyes.

Sam sighed, tired, and shook his head. He picked the kid up by the armpits, throwing him under his arm and pulling off his socks and shoes.

"No! No Sammy, I don't wanna! I don't wanna bath no no no!" He said and kicked around and Sam held him over the tub still in his clothes. Sam held onto him tightly, not wanting to drop him or anything but also done with Dean. He was not cut out for this and Dean was just so… ugh frustrating.

"You either get in the nice warm tub and let me get you washed or we can stand in the yard and get hosed down in the cold." Sam said and Dean looked scared. Sam was looking… scary like he was mad and and Dean hated being cold. He hated being cold.

"No no I'm sorry I hate cold I don't wanna be cold no no please I'm sorry" Dean started to beg as he felt like he couldn't breath, like he wanted to run away. He started trying to wiggle away again but Sam put him back on the floor, holding his shoulders.

"Alright. Alright. Come on then, no clothes in the tub." Sam said and Dean started to try and pull his shirt off.

"I'm sorry Sammy, I don't wanna cold bath." Dean apologized and Sam helped him untie the shoelace that was tied around her waist to keep his jeans up.

"It's okay. And you're not the only one getting a bath Bobby's giving Cas one too. You're alright." Sam reassured him and put Dean in the tub and took his clothes to throw in the laundry bin.

He didn't look to see the boy was starting to hyperventilate, terrified of being in the tub alone. Dean hated baths, hated being in water, hated the cold feeling of the actual tub, he felt scared.

Dean was not alright, he kept shoving and kicking and got water all over the floor and got soap in his mouth and it was a disaster.

When they finally got done, Sam was soaked, and Dean had nearly passed out from fear and stress. Sam gave up trying to get him dressed or anything else, ending up wrapping up in a big towel and put him on Bobby's bed.

Sam wondered how Bobby was doing, had to be better than him. Had to get better than getting soaked and getting half the bath water on the floor.

Cas was doing better. Quietly had followed Bobby to the bathroom, little hand holding onto his finger. Cas got lost sometimes even in the house, he'd forget where he was and he'd end up standing in a corner and wait.

He was a very polite and good kid.

However

He did get Bobby soaked entirely.

"Alright buddy in the tub. You stink like a wet dog." Bobby said as he dug around to find some wash clothes. Cas was standing beside the tub naked when he turned back around. Clothes messily folded in a pile next to him.

He didn't have any… junk . Weird but easy to clean, Bobby thought. Angels are freaks but meh could be worse.

"Alright up and over" Bobby said and lifted the angel up and put him in the tub. The boy sat down and started playing with the bubbles that were floating across the top. He liked bubbles. He didn't like eating them though when he put some in his mouth and tasted soap. He made a face and decided that they were better on his hands than in his mouth. Like the markers were.

Bobby got to work running a cloth over him, reapplying the soap every so often from his toes up to his dark hair. Cas sat still, letting himself be moved around as Bobby needed. He just made shapes in the bubbles and watched them drip off his fingers when he raised his hands up out of the water.

"Alright head back, gotta rinse out your hair." Bobby said and pulled the boy's head back, his big blue eyes staring widely into his own. Booby brought a cup up full of water, one hand ready to scrub the suds away.

"Quit starin' at me ya idg- shit!" Bobby said but was soon thrown over onto his butt. He was slapped in the face by something… soaked and fluffy.

He looked up at the… sight before him.

Cas was still playing with the bubbles, holding some in his hands. Behind him however were a pair of small pitch black wings waving around in the water flicking and dunking into the water like they had a mind of their own.

"What the… Cas? Your wings are out…" Bobby said as he knelt back up to the tub, amazed at the very… bird like wings that were soaking themselves in the water, tops still dry.

Cas looked over at him and shrugged.

"Dir'ee" he said and laid back so his wings were all underwater, he shook them all around under the water and then sat up making uppy hands. Cas felt very relieved being clean but now he was done.

Bobby stared at him as he lifted the kid, who didn't seem to weigh any more than when he was put in the bath, and set him back on the floor. He stared at Cas as his wings soaked the towel covered floor under him.

"We're gonna have to blow dry you, son. You'll flood the house at this rate." Bobby said and grabbed three towels from the rack. He patted the boy dry with one, putting it under the flooding wings when he was done, wrapped one around him under his wings, and finally carefully trapped the wings to the boy's back and wrapped a towel around them. Cas held his towels up, he liked the feeling of the towel tight on his wings.

"Alright?" Bobby asked and Cas just yawned. Baths were a lot of work. Or maybe it wasn't the bath but the manifestation of his wings that made him suddenly feel so sleepy.

"Are ya tired? I think these things might be using up all your energy." Bobby said and gave the joint of the wings and light smack. Cas nodded and rubbed at his eyes, wobbly on his legs.

"To bed then" Bobby announced,picking Cas up to his hip, and grabbed the last dry towel from the rack on his way out. Cas nodded and threw his arms over Bobby's shoulders and shut his eyes.

After a short guidance by Sam, Cas was laying next to Dean, an old quilt being thrown over them. Cas being placed on top of a towel for extra measure.

"This is gonna suck until they grow up. I read that it can take years ." Sam groaned as he cleaned up the floor for Bobby who buttoned up a dry shirt. Bobby sighed. It would be great to learn about angel wings though, he had to admit. Flying toddler…. Ugh.

They went back to reading until the boys woke up. However luck smiled on them.

" Cas get your junkless junk off of me! It's frickin' weird man!" Dean yelled as he shoved the naked man away from him on the bed. Sam was first to open the door and see them both holding towels around their waists, grown. Castiel was barebacked again though and Dean was looking frustrated.

"Angels man, friggin weirdos." Dean said and pushed past Sam to say hi to Bobby and then go to find his bag and his pants.

Cas was standing in the room, blank expression pasted on his face.

"Excuse me" He said and soon his body was covered again as it usually was. Sam came up and patted his back.

"Good to have you back man, gotta say you're a pretty cute kid." He said and Cas looked at him and then down at himself.

"I'm far more helpful in this form. I… didn't dislike being a child though. Angels are created fully formed, we do not really experience… complete helplessness that is childhood. It was somewhat enjoyable." He stated and soon Bobby was interrogating him about his wings and such.

Dean had disappeared into the bathroom though, bag gone. Dean pulled his clothes on and stood at the sink.

Fuck.

Fuck .

He looked up at himself. It was nice to be tall and not feel scared all the time but god … it felt good. Cuddling with Cas at night and being cuddled and loved on and getting to experience his emotions in full. He felt… so much lighter than he had before.

Huh… he actually kinda felt…. Happy. He looked back up at himself. The teddy bear would be shoved under the backseat and never mentioned again but it was… it was coming.