Anguish

Though he was initially against the idea, it wasn't long before Cairn was lying on a lounge-style sofa, recounting events of his past life while Vira dutifully took notes.

"I always wondered what a world without a God would be like," remarked Vira, narrowing her eyes and smiling as she mused, "To think they would sacrifice such a large number of people to safeguard their interests. How very...human."

"Yeah, well...the people of this world aren't perfect, either..." argued Cairn, causing Vira to chuckle and question, "When did I say we were? Rather, if this were a perfect world, it would be exceptionally boring..."

Making a few final notes on her tablet, Vira placed it away before sitting straight, linking her fingers, and asking, "Now, then. Would you like to hear my prognosis or skip directly to the 'treatment' for your condition?"

"What condition...?" asked Cairn, rising to a seated position and staring at Vira with a frown.

"You're obsessive, compulsive, and need constant reassurance," replied Vira. "That's why Elle said you need someone who 'depends' on you. She is correct."

"..."

"As for the treatment..." continued Vira. "I suggest the two of you take a step back from your current relationship. She doesn't want one, and you are woefully unprepared for a committed relationship. It would be best to develop a more casual relationship, but since you believe all relationships must be committed, you're harming yourself, Elle, Kaia, and everyone else around you."

"..."

Taking advantage of Cairn's silence, Vira adopted her usual narrow-eyed smile, adding, "To simplify things for you, I suggest avoiding any serious relationships until you obtain the power you believe you need to be happy. If you stay your current course, you'll likely have a mental breakdown and feel compelled to go 'rogue,' convincing yourself it's necessary to avoid stressing others but ultimately causing them even greater anxiety as they try to find you."

"I wouldn't do that..." argued Cairn, but the surety in Vira's expression and tone made him doubt his own words.

Shrugging, Vira rose to her feet and mused, "Well, regardless of what you decide, you can rest assured that, no matter how far you flee, I'll be there to monitor and hear you out when you invariably feel the need to complain or desire companionship..."

Punctuating her words with a wink, Vira disappeared into thin air, leaving Cairn 'alone.' However, as he still vividly recalled her transforming into a chair and then the lounge he was currently sitting on, Cairn knew he was anything but...

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With Elle not returning to their room, even after 2 AM, Cairn thought to seek her out, but as her proximity marker hadn't moved much for several hours, he assumed she was busy with work and probably didn't want to be distracted. As such, he remained in his room, replaying the incident that caused her to storm off within his mind. He eventually fell asleep, but as he had gotten used to snuggling up with someone, it was a very lonely process...

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Waking rested and feeling refreshed, Cairn felt marginally more optimistic than he had the previous night. Thus, after washing his face and brushing his teeth, he exited his room, descended the first floor, and made his way through the kitchen, eventually reaching the flight of stairs leading to the basement. There, he expected to find Elle hard at work. Instead, she was sleeping atop a stool with her head down on a desk used for blueprinting.

"..."

Convincing himself she had just worked until exhaustion, Cairn made his way over and gently shook Elle awake, whispering, "You shouldn't sleep here..."

"Hmmm...?"

Reacting to Cairn's voice, Elle raised her head, sleepily rubbing her right eye as she gazed up at his smiling face. A much fainter smile developed across her own, but her words stuck Cairn's brain like a hammer as she said, "I'm a grown woman, Cairn. I can sleep wherever I want."

Furrowing his brows, Cairn muttered, "I'm just worried about you..."

Waving her hand dismissively, Elle rebutted, "Yeah, I know. Your problem is that you worry about everything. I appreciate your concern, but seeing as how you're the one that got me so riled up yesterday, you don't have a lot of ground to stand on."

"..."

Taking advantage of Cairn's silence, Elle stretched her body, issuing a girlish, nasally groan as she raised her arms over her head. Then, once she was finished, she looked up at him and asked, "So, what brings you here? I'm not really in the mood for sex right now."

Recovering from his momentary stupor, Cairn's frown deepened as he asked, "Did you talk to Vira...?"

Raising her right brow, Elle replied, "No, but judging by your reaction, you must have had a long discussion. Why, what did she say?"

Shaking his head, Cairn decided not to talk about what he had discussed with Vira. Instead, he attempted to ask, "Want to head upstairs and—" but Elle interrupted him, stating, "If you're going to deflect and only talk about things 'you' want to talk about, why should I listen?"

"I..."

Holding up her hand, Elle said, "Stop. If you're going to apologize, I don't want to hear it. It's become obvious by now that I'm not qualified to help you solve your problems, Cairn. I stayed up all night thinking about how I could help or fix you, but I couldn't come up with anything, no matter how I wracked my brain. All I know how to do is forge, mine, and craft things, so that's what I'll do. We can still have sex and stuff, but I just can't keep listening to you mope and complain about things that are only a problem because you've made them into one in your mind..."

Though she did her best to sound cold, Elle's throat tightened, causing her voice to sound raspy as a layer of moisture covered her vibrant pink eyes. She knew her words would hurt Cairn, but if he didn't listen to what she said when he went on his usual tangents, how was she supposed to help him? She really wanted to, but every single one of Cairn's problems was the result of the morals and values he carried over from his previous world, a world she had little to no knowledge of...

Seeing Elle tear up, Cairn felt more guilt and frustration than anger. His hands balled into fists, but he had no intention of lashing out at anyone. Instead, he swallowed the knot forming in his throat and asked, "Are you breaking up with me...?"

Exhaling a short, exasperated sigh, Elle replied, "That's the thing, Cairn. When we first had sex, I only did it because I thought you were stressed out and needed to relax a bit. I never intended things to develop as they did, but I also really enjoyed spending time with you. If I had known that accepting your love meant restraining both of us...I wouldn't have pushed you down like I did..."

Hanging her head, the tears in Elle's eyes became more prominent, a few cascading down her cheeks as she muttered, "I'm sorry my carelessness made your life more difficult than it had to be..."

"Dammit..." muttered Cairn, strongly wanting to punch something. Not Elle, of course, but more to hurt himself for making her cry.

Taking a knee, making Elle the one to stare down at him, Cairn reached out to caress her face with his right hand, his expression pained as he wiped away her tears as he pleaded, "Please, Elle...tell me what I need to do to make things right, and I'll do it..."

Shaking her head, Elle sobbingly responded, "You just don't get it...you don't 'need' to make things right, Cairn. You just need to find something that makes you happy and gives you purpose. I can't do that...no matter how much you want me to...I just can't..."

"..."

With Elle throwing herself into his embrace, crying full volume, Cairn felt worse than when he burned alive. He never intended to hurt her. Hell, he didn't want to hurt anyone. However, because of the sentiments from his previous world, he was harming himself and everyone around him...just as Vira said he was...

Feeling a sudden urge to run away, sparing Elle, Kaia, and anyone else he might encounter the hassle of dealing with his baggage, a sardonic smile developed across Cairn's face. It hadn't even been half a day since he claimed he wouldn't run away, yet here he was, considering doing exactly that...

("That woman saw through me completely...") thought Cairn, feeling a mix of shame and bitterness as his eyes started to water. He didn't believe he was a coward, but while he could face monsters, swim through acid, and endure being burned to death more than a dozen times, he couldn't bear the pain of heartache and hurting the people around him. It was a special kind of agony, one that seemed to be impressed upon the very core of his being...

"I don't want to lose you..." whispered Cairn, tightening his hold on Elle's petite body as he added, "If you give me another chance, I promise—no, I swear to do better..."

"Why...why can't we just be friends...?" asked Elle, still sobbing as she reciprocated Cairn's embrace.

"Because I'm a fool..." muttered Cairn, his voice softening even further as he affirmed, "I can't help loving you, so...even if it goes against my beliefs, I will do my best to live by this world's standards and laws, not the ones from my past life..."

Sniffling several times, Elle pulled away from Cairn but didn't separate from him, staring into his face as she asked, "Then...does that mean you'll sleep with other women?"

Though an uncanny sense of incongruency struck him when he heard Elle's words, Cairn nodded in affirmation, assuring, "Not with just anyone, but if I believe they could be useful to our Party and won't try to leverage a sexual relationship against me, I'll at least consider it..."

"That's a very roundabout response..." remarked Elle, her expression a teary-eyed deadpan. However, as she didn't anticipate that 'breaking up' would hurt so much, she was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. Elle knew it wasn't rational for her to do so, but one of the few things she knew about love was that it didn't make sense. It was just a compromise between two people that felt 'right.'

"So, who are you going to do it with? Have anyone in mind?" asked Elle, wiping her eyes with her sleeve and regaining her smile.

Suppressing his discomfort, Cairn smiled awkwardly and replied, "Well, it can't be Kaia. I care for her nearly as much as you, but if we ever crossed that line...I'm not completely sure how to put it into words. I just feel that it would corrupt our relationship. As for Reine...her body is incredible, but she's a good example of someone that might try and leverage sex against me for personal gain..."

"What about Grandma...?" asked Elle, tilting her head slightly.

"Not a chance..." replied Cairn, his expression serious as he imagined Vira laughing in the background.

"Well, I don't feel like I can believe you until I see proof..." muttered Elle. Then, perking up, she loudly exclaimed, "I know! You can do Mari! Better yet, the three of us can do it together...!"

Though Mari was definitely a viable option, Cairn shook his head, stating, "I'd rather not do someone that looks almost identical to you. I want you to always be special to me, and I fear what might happen when we meet other Dwarves in the future..."

"I guess I can understand that..." muttered Elle, crossing her arms and adopting a serious expression. It felt strange seeing her deliberate the matter with such zeal, but Cairn never wanted to see her cry again. Thus, after a moment of hesitation, he joined the discussion, reminding her of the trio of Elizabeth, Leona, and Yuuna before delving into the subject of Asim's sister, Zarah, and the possibility of simply hiring another Escort...

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(A/N: No harem, but the odds of Cairn fucking different/random women just went up. However, if he 'does' enter a relationship with any of them, you can rest assured that they won't 'cheat.' Since he's the Champion, he has quite a bit of leeway to make such demands o3o...)