22 [21] - Cold Hands (Gone Astray Pt.2)
Chapter 21
"I can be one for you." He says quietly, making Jisoo turn towards him so that their eyes meet. "A scientist.. a pilot.. an astronaut.. whatever you like if that keeps you always in touch with me."
He was talking while slowly bringing his head closer, staring into Jisoo's eyes, his gaze sometimes falls on her lips, until he is very close to her face.
He stills for seconds, studying her, he can't really figure out what's that hesitancy in her eyes, but she isn't pushing him away either.
He want to kiss her, he's close from doing that.
He probably will..
He leans forward, almost gonna feel her lips when Jisoo turns her face away on a whim.
"Whoever hears you thinks you've memorized that from a movie." Jisoo breaks the silence, chuckling and looking the other way.
He stays frozen for moment, processing what just happened before he blinking and leaning back away.
- "I know right?" He says in a fake cheerful tone, calmly, as he adjusts his sitting and looks forward.
"Have you practiced saying that at home or what?" She quips and then laughs, making Matthew look at her with disbelief.
- "Uh.. Come on! I'm trying to win your heart here.." Matthew says grumbling, impatiently, surprising her as he turns his gaze to the other side.
Jisoo grows her eyebrows in surprise, looks at him and follows, "Is this how you usually try to attract girls?"
-"Excuse me?" He protests with disapproval, "With the rest I don't even try, they come on their own."
He pauses, then adds in a soft tone, "Except for you."
Jisoo keeps staring at him a little and follows, before turning her head.
"You're funny. I give you that."
"OK.."
Matthew says for silence to reigns between them for a few minutes.
"As a man who has never been rejected before, I can tell you.. it sucks."
- "It does." Jisoo agrees, staring at the ground with a distant expression.
Matthew furrows his eyebrows and turns to her surprisingly.
"Wait wait.. you're telling me, the Kim Jisoo, was rejected before?"
Jisoo raises her head as she changes her facial expressions to a playful ones and digresses.
"I was talking about companies' refusal to do business with us, what kind of rejection were you talking about?"
Matthew looks at her for a moment thoughtfully and then burst into laughter as he turns his head to the other side and nods, knowing Jisoo's attempt to change the subject.
While they are thus, Jisoo spots a dog with thick fur as he was coming towards them, walking and looking around.
"Look! What a cute dog." She gushes as she gets up, walks to the dog, squats, and begins to patt his head and neck.
- "Stay away from it, he may be dirty, sick or something." Matthew warns getting up as well.
"Hmm.. it doesn't look like that, he's a house dog. Maybe he's just lost." she reasons while continuing to pet the dog.
- "Even so, you'd better stay away from it."
"Matthew.." she starts looking up at him,
"Should we just leave him like this because we think he might've a disease?"
As soon as she says that, someone comes running to them and it becomes clear to them that he is the owner of the dog, he thanks them later for their kind treatment of his dog, and goes on his way.
"See? I told you." Jisoo quips as she walks past Matthew.
- "You know, it's not always good to act on your best judgment. You don't know what will come out for you because of it." He says, meaning in general. It's obvious how she tends to that a lot.
"Before I give the benefit of the doubt, I can't prejudge." She defends.
Matthew pauses for a little while contemplating her answer.
"What if they were really bad?"
- "I will give them a chance to change then.." she replies, smiling. For some reason she doesn't think this's about the dog anymore.
"But even if they change, that doesn't erase their past mistakes." Matthew protests with a great interest.
- "If they did change, they will do everything they can to atone for their mistakes anyway."
Jisoo adds quietly as she keeps looking ahead while Matthew stares at her thoughtfully, feeling stuck on her words.
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"Here.." He says sliding the Pepsi he asked for in front of her.
-"Thank you." Jennie says softly, she falls silent as she looks at the glass, "By the way, I'm Jennie." she adds, turning to him.
"Jonathan." He says, looking at her too.
"And I'm Jonathan.. you can call me John."
She nods with understanding and smiles.
"Well John, nice to meet you." She says softly.
They start talking about general and superficial things and he tells her about every quality present in every alcoholic drink and the like, feeling herself getting more comfortable around him. Their conversation is cut off when he receives a phone call and excuses himself and goes to an isolated areas to answer it.
"Jennie? you still here?" Jessie asks after coming back behind the bar, drawing her attention.
- "Oh yes.. I'll stay for a little more." Jennie replies with a smile.
Jessie rolls her eyes and sighs.
"Look, it's obvious that you are not used to these places. it's enough that Jisoo got used to them."
She pauses and continues while breathing out grumbly.
" I thought she would stop coming."
- "What? Jisoo came here?" Jennie asks carefully, ignoring the jump that her heart took as soon as Jessie mentioned her name.
"Uh, yes.. just a few days ago. She hasn't come again since then though."
Jennie takes a deep breath with relief, at the same time feeling disappointed for thinking that Jisoo is here.
- "What did she do that day?" Jennie asks curiously, absentmindedly finding comfort in talking about her.
"What else would she do? She drowned herself in alcohol and then went out with some guy I hadn't seen him here before."
Jennie remains silent as she collects the pieces in her mind.
- "What guy? What did he look like?"
Jessie is silent as she looks the other way, thinking.
"Hmm.. he was probably in his mid-twenties, tall and had blonde hair." Jessie says, and then a girl calls her to ask for a drink.
Jennie stays still, going through the new information, she feels her chest tightening again.
Of course, Matthew.
She takes a deep breath and massages her forehead tiredly as she looks around aimlessly, wanting to distract herself. She looks over the glass of whiskey Jonathan was drinking from and is still nearly full. She keeps staring at it hesitantly and then takes it quickly and tries to drink it all at once.
"Wait wait.. wait!" Jonathan exclaims after just coming back and finding Jennie trying to drink alcohol at once, he tries to take it from her but she doesn't allow him.
Jennie slams the glass on the bar, her face wrinkles directly, and she feels a burning sensation deep in her throat and eyes, she can feel her body heat as it increases instantly.
Well, that was a bad idea, a terrible one.
"What did you do? Is this your first time? You can't drink it like that!" He scolds, looking at her with disapproval.
"I'm fine.. I'm fine.." she dismisses, raising her hands in the air assuring as she feels herself starting to get a little dizzy.
"So, where have we been?" Jennie excitedly and tipsily adds as she looks at Jonathan as he returns to sit next to her.
. . . . . .
Jennie doesn't know how much time has passed nor does she know how the atmosphere between them has changed so that John is this close to her.
She is still sitting at the bar, this she can see, but she also no longer feels her surroundings and her vision is starting to become blurry, her head fuzzy and all she can hear is John's voice speaking softly to her. She turns to him and tries to understand what he says to her.
"What do you think? Isn't this enough of getting to know each other?" He asks, looking her up and down and moves his fingers to remove a few strands from her face before placing his palm on the side of her face and holding her cheek, his hand was big, felt double size as her face and rough.
Jennie giggles to herself as she looks at him weakly.
"Would you make me forget?" She asks with a smile as she tries to balance herself.
- "I promise you.. I'll show you another world." he says whispering, bringing his face closer to her, he stares at her lustfully for a moment, and then gets up from his seat and takes her hand, making her stand up as well.
As soon as she begins to walk, she stumbles on nothing, feeling out of control of her steps, and John supports her immediately as he holds her hand and wraps his arm around her so that she doesn't fall and starts to walk slowly and cautiously.
Jennie's consciousness became in the bygones, feeling her eyes closing and opening constantly, and all she saw was several dancing lights, a lot of people around her a and noise.. a loud noise, yet she couldn't understand anything of that noise and couldn't distinguish what it was like being in an isolated room, watching the world from behind a tightly closed window.
She felt herself walking and being taken into the unknown, and although she didn't resist, fear began to fill her heart.
What the hell is she doing? Is this really what she wanted? Are those really the arms she wants to be wrapped around her?
What does she want anyway?
All this and the only voice she clearly hears is the sound of her heart cursing everything, anything, and everyone..
Fuck it. Everything can go to hell.
She no longer cares.. Let it happen.
While she feels herself still walking, she closes her eyes, stops suddenly for a moment, hearing a faint fuss near her and then walks again. She opens her eyes a little, finds the same lights and the same place, and closes her eyes again as she begins to lose consciousness, little by little.
And like before; time passed unknown, she suddenly feels that she has stopped walking and this time she also feels that there is something soft under her head like a pillow or something like that and same under her body, she must be lying on a mattress now.
She opens her eyes and sees the previous lights have disappeared and changed into one warm white light, the place also changed and turned into white walls. She closes her eyes and feels herself falling asleep, in darkness.
She remains confined in it for a while, not knowing exactly how long she's been there until she suddenly feels two hands cupping the sides of her face.
Two different hands, soft and cold, and this scent..
this scent she knows well..
she can recognize it from among a thousand different scents..
She opens her eyes gradually weakly to meet the ceiling at first and then a girl's head enters her faded field of vision, her hair dropping to the side as she talks about something that Jennie can't hear well, until she feels her slapping her face gently, making her vision a little clearer now.
Is she starting to hallucinate? Has she reached that stage? Confusing people and imagining things?
Is the one shouting at her right now is really Jisoo?
Jennie blinks several times trying to open her eyes wide and the girl is still lightly tapping the side of her face and shaking her, making Jennie focus her gaze on her as she starts to hear her well.
"Jennie! Wake up! Jennie! We have to go!"
The girl's hands stop moving, and she just grabs Jennie's face as she stares at her, and Jennie is staring too, she stays still for a while, looking shocked, and then smiles broadly and drunkenly.
This is really Jisoo!
"Looks like she woke up a little." Jisoo says as she leaves Jennie's face, letting her slomps her head back on the sofa cushion. She straightens up and turnes to Jessie.
"Thanks a lot for keeping her with you.."
She says with a warm smile and then breathes helplessly as she looks at Jennie.
"Good thing it was you who answered the phone.."
**
Jisoo gets inside her car and remains a quiet. Looking at the front mirror, she watches Matthew, driving his car away from the sidewalk and going.
She takes her phone, opens it, goes through it a little, then raises it and puts it on her ear. She remains still, hearing the dial tone, waiting for the response of the other party as she makes light taps with her hand on the wheel.
/"Lisa? Are you there?" Jisoo starts straight away after the line is picked up.
"Aah yeah yeah! What's up?!" Lisa answers in a high volume because the voices were loud beside her.
"Fine. I'm just calling to check on you. Is everything all right there?"
"Yeah! Everyone is having fun! Chaeyoung and Jennie.." Lisa drags the last letter a little, making Jisoo frown.
"One moment... Where's Jennie?" Lisa asks in a low tone, talking to someone else beside her.
"What is there Lisa? What's with Jennie?" Jisoo inquires in sharp tone when she feels movement and noise from the other line to get Lisa's attention.
"Lisa!" She calls in a more stern tone, losing her patience, "Where is Jennie?"
"Jisoo.." Lisa begins with a low guarded tone. "Jennie isn't here."
Jisoo's eyes widen in panic and anger.
"What do you mean she isn't there? Where did she go?" She snaps incredulously.
"I don't know! She said that she is going out to breathe some air, and now we searched for her and couldn't find her!" She answers quickly and in an anxious tone.
Jisoo remains silent as she looks to the other side, helplessly preventing herself from taking out her anger at Lisa.
"Okay okay.. just stay there."\
Jisoo dismisses with an exhausted tone, then quickly hangs up and start looking for the driver's number and calls him.
/"Miss Jiso—"
"Did Jennie go out with you?" She cuts him off impatiently.
"Uh, yes.. she said—"
"Where did she go? Where are you now?"
"O- Octagon Club, miss."|
She hangs up as soon as she gets her answer, then turns on the car's engine, takes her phone again, and starts looking for Jennie's number as she gradually drives the car away from the sidewalk. She kept hearing the phone ringing, but there was no answer.
She called her over and over on her way to the club, and the line was finally picked up the moment she arrived at the club.
**
Finding out it was Jessie who answered her call and meeting her at her private office, she told her she spotted Jennie about to walk out with a man and immediately went and stopped them. Asking the man to let her go and that she's her friend, she made him let go of her reluctantly. Thankfully he didn't make any problems and was understanding.
Jisoo looks at Jennie powerlessly for prolonged moments before sighing and turning to Jessie.
"Did she drink something?"
- "Hmm.. no.. from what I saw she was drinking Pepsi only."
Jisoo remains silent for a while, then turns to Jennie, leans over to her, holds her face, and raises it slightly towards her.
"Jennie.. can you hear me?" She speaks in a calm tone, "Jennie.. "
- "All ears.." Jennie says softly, smiling contentedly with her eyes closed.
"Did you drink anything other than Pepsi? Jennie.. Did you drink alcohol?" she asks, adjusting the hold of her hand to her face.
Jennie chuckles as she answers and raises one finger in the air aimlessly, "Just one."
Jisoo sighs and rolls her eyes.
"One glass made you like this." She says in an exhausted tone.
She doesn't have the slightest tolerance to alcohol.
She lets go of her face and directs her hands to Jennie's sides and beneath her arms to try to lift her, and when she does, Jennie goes and throws her arms around Jisoo's neck.
"Jisooo.. Jichuu.." She singsongs in a low tone, her letters coming out slurredly, "Jichu my baBy, goodthing you're here."
She was talking sluggishly due to her drunken state and smiling, pushing Jisoo to freeze, a little bit embarrassed that Jessie was still standing next to her.
"My little Jichu—"
"Jennie... can you walk?" Ignoring Jennie's delirium, Jisoo asks as she tries to lift her into a sitting position.
Jennie stares at her with straight expressions for a while and then smiles again lazily as she opens her arms wides.
"I can fly if you want to.."
Jisoo stays silent at that for a moment before she turns her head towards Jessie and finds her faking seriousness and trying to hold her smile. Jisoo smiles at her awkwardly and returns her attention to Jennie.
"And if youkissedme—"
"OKaayy!"
Jisoo exclaims in a high tone to cover up Jennie's blubbering as she gets up quickly and lifts Jennie with her, "We have to go, now!"
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Jisoo slowly walks out of the club with difficulty as she supports Jennie and helps her walk by slinging her arm around her shoulder and holding her steady by the waist.
Jennie was walking loosely, either saying incomprehensible words or repeating Jisoo's name affectionately in its abbreviated form, or giving her pet names, and now she is just singing randomly and drunkenly her own version of love songs to her.
Jisoo pulls them slightly to the side and makes Jennie stand with her back to the wall.
"Jennie, can you stay standing a little and wait here?" She begins by placing her hand on Jennie's face and facing it to attract her attention, "Did you hear me? I have to get the car.. Jennie.."
Jennie stares at her weakly before nodding and then suddenly she closes her mouth and her face becomes puffy, her eyes wide open.
"What- what's up with you?" Jisoo quickly asks when she sees her like that, her jaw drops as she realizes what's happening when Jennie grabs her stomach and her body starts jerking intermittently.
"Oh no! Jennie no! Not here! Hold on!"
Jisoo exclaims trying in vain to talk to Jennie and directs her to a safe place. "Jennie don't! don't you dare! No no no no n—"
Jisoo stills in her place as she looks ahead with dead expression because Jennie lost control of herself and started throwing up in front of her and on the street, staining some parts of her jeans as it spewed out upon colliding with the ground, dirtying her shoes and Jisoo shoes as well.
"Great."
Jisoo mumbles under her breath, wearing straight expressions, and looking at Jennie, who had thrown herself back onto the wall, breathing with relief after emptying her stomach.
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Jisoo opens the apartment door reluctantly with one hand because she's supporting Jennie with the other one. She opens it wide, and then returns her attention to Jennie and holds her steadily as she walks her in and closes the door behind her with her foot.
She starts to walk carefully as she directs them through the dark towards the bathroom, thankfully she did wipe their shoes before getting into the car. She reaches the bathroom, opens the door, turns on the light and gets them inside, leaving the door open.
Jisoo heads to the bath tub and sits Jennie on the edge of it because she can't stand on the basin, and turns on the faucet next. She bends down to Jennie's level and with her hands, she combs Jennie's hair back to show her face only before holding it in one hand. She tilts her head a little over the tub, and with the other hand she starts to fill her palm with water and rinses Jennie's face and wipes it.
She washes Jennie's face several times well gently and even down her neck as Jennie silently stares at her dreamily and thoughtfully.
After washing her face, she also washed her hands and when she finished, and is about to lift her, Jennie slips off the edge of the tub and falls on her butt on the floor, she laughs hysterically because of it.
"Yeah yeah.. you find this funny ha?"
Jisoo says quietly and playfully, prompting Jennie to laugh more.
Jisoo tries back again when Jennie's laughter dies down, and passes her arms under Jennie's, but instead of getting up, Jennie wraps her arms again around Jisoo's neck and across her back and hugs her.
She hugs her firmly and tightly to her while burying her face in the crock of her neck, pulling Jisoo along.
🎶 ▶ Beige - Because I Miss You
Jisoo, who is sitting on her knees for Jennie's sudden pull of her while still holding her, stays still for a while, and when she tries to move, she hears choked up and faint gasps coming out of Jennie, she also can feel her neck getting damp.
"Je- Jennie?"
-"Where were you?"
Jennie chokes out in a muffled and trembling voice through her crying gasps as she continues to firmly hold Jisoo and breathe her in. She was changing the position of her head, one second she places it on Jisoo's shoulder, another second on her neck, and at other times she makes it touch the side of Jisoo's face, and through them all she was taking deep breaths as she inhaled her scent in.
All day long all Jennie felt was agitation, loneliness and suffocation. The whole day she was feeling lost, trying in vain to act normally.. trying in vain not to mind.. trying in vain not to think.. trying in vain to continue her life with other people and to build relationships, new ones, with them, to forget and to find a way out of what she feels..
To find a way out from Jisoo.
But, like a broken compass, she no longer knows where to head at.
As if she was thrown into a deep, dark tunnel, stumbling right and left, pretending that that is her new home.
She didn't feel the absurdity of her attempts nor how helpless she is, until Jisoo appeared before her and all her attempts struck the width of the wall.
Until her scent arrived..
Until she heard her voice..
Until her hands touched her..
Until she hugged her.
Like the light that appeared at the end of the tunnel, she found herself being pulled out of the darkness.
Like a safety after a turmoil..
like a peace after a war..
like a break after a long tiring day.
Jennie realized that these were nothing but Jisoo herself.
Only Jisoo and Jisoo only.
She realized that from the beginning she wanted nothing but her, and that the cure for her illness was none other than her.
She's the illness and she's the cure..
She's the problem and she's the solution..
And so.. she was crying..
She was crying out loud because Jisoo found her.. because of the overwhelming relief that dawned on her.. because Jisoo didn't leave her.. because she found Jisoo and Jisoo found her.
Because this is the only place she really wants to be in, her arms.
"Where were you?" She repeats with the same desperate tone, and Jisoo could feel her tears increasing, falling heavily.
"Shshsh.. I'm here now.."
Jisoo quietly coaxes, gently pushing her head away to be able to look at Jennie, and begins to wipe Jennie's tears from her face with both hands.
Seeing her cry, makes her heart ache. She doesn't want her to cry, not even over her— no, specially not over her.
She is not worth it.
"I'm here now.. I'm here.."
She says almost whispering to reassure Jennie as she looks straight into her eyes nodding. Jennie looks at her for a moment as if to make sure she's really here and nods to her in understanding after calming down.
"Come, Let's get up."
She says and gets up and helps Jennie to stand back up and supports her again, they start walking slowly out of the bathroom and toward their room.
They enter the room and Jisoo sits Jennie down on her bed and leaves her to lie down before standing and looking at her while she is still drunk. Her phone rings and she pulls it out and sees that Lisa is calling.
/ "Yes, Lisa..
Yeah, I found her."
"Woah, good!! I called to tell you that we're not coming back. Nayeon invited us to sleep over tonight! Is that okay?"
Jisoo remains silent, takes a look at Jennie, and then replies, "Yeah, it's OK.. have a good night."
She hangs up and puts the phone back in her jeans pocket while looking at Jennie and sighing, she lowers her body toward Jennie's feet and starts to take off her shoes. When she takes off the first one, she hears Jennie giggling weakly.
"My hero.." Jennie slurs out in a sleepy cheerful tone.
"Who is superman?" She asks randomly, making a flying move in the air while Jisoo is taking off her other shoes. "I only know Jisoo.." She goes on and laughs again.
"Oh really?" Jisoo quips after she's finished, standing up, "Won't you tell me what happened?"
She asks and looks at Jennie, who doesn't answer her and only hums in a lyrical tone.
Jisoo sighs and advances towards her, she rests her knee on the edge of the bed as she heads towards Jennie's pants. At first she lifts Jennie's shirt a little higher, exposing her abdomen, then unbuttons the pants before unzipping it, she directs her hands to the waistband from both sides and is about to pull it down her legs.
"Your hands are cold." Jennie remarks quietly out of the blue as she stares at the ceiling, pushing Jisoo to stop.
Jisoo looks at her hands and sees them touching Jennie's skin, specifically the sides of her hip, so she tries to hold the pants without touching her skin and to keep her hands away from her, but Jennie stops her when she puts her hand over Jisoo's and moves them back to that area.
"Don't." Jennie protests softly. "Your cold hands.. I love them."
Jisoo stills, looks at Jennie for a while and then looks at her hand as it lies on Jennie's body. Absentmindedly, she slowly and carefully moves it up her side, caressing the skin underneath, until it reaches above Jennie's waist and stops there, unaware of the way Jennie took a sharp breath as she did.
She blinks as she comes back to her senses, and turns her face away and swallows, bringing her hands back to the pants quickly to complete removing them.
"So? You argued with me a lot that day because I drank too much and you rebuked me for my negligence about that and then you go and drink too?!" Jisoo says pulling the pants down.
"And can you blame me?" Jennie starts off on a low steady note. "While everyone could talk to you.. while they were able to spend time with you and see you.."
Jennie was talking tiredly while Jisoo was close to taking off her pants, listening intently.
"I only had your pictures to look at.." She continues making Jisoo still after she has just taken off the pants, staring at the emptiness a little longer before turning to Jennie.
She studies her, feeling the throbbing of her heart, not knowing what to say to that.
Brushing it off helplessly, she stands up to take off the jacket and crawls across the bed and lifts Jennie from her arms to a sitting position and begins to take it off from one arm, followed by the other arm. When she does, Jennie throws herself back to lie on the bed.
"I hate them all.." Jennie groans, looking at Jisoo with partially closed eyes when Jisoo starts to unbutton her shirt.
-"Who?"
"Everyone around you.." She elaborates with a calm, angry tone, and Jisoo chuckles to herself for the illogicalness of Jennie's talk.
"Everyone who tries to touch you.. everyone whom you laugh with.."
- "Okay.." Jisoo adds in a lighthearted tone, and she's almost done.
"Men and women.. I hate them all." Jennie emphasizes without looking away from Jisoo.
- "Hmmm.. and why is that?" Jisoo asks, her expression conceal a smile as she supports her body sideways on her forearm, lying next to Jennie and looking at her, having unbuttoning Jennie's shirt revealing a straight line of skin beneath it.
"I hate them because..
because they.."
She falls silent for a moment, staring at Jisoo with her face close to her, she continues defeatedly, "Because they make me.. Jealous."
Surprising Jisoo and making amused expression desappear to a blank one, she slowly raises her right hand and points it towards Jisoo's face and makes her fingers carefully land on the end of her cheek.
"You told me that I'm yours.." she follows sadly in an almost whispering tone. "Why can't you be mine too?"
Jisoo remains still, taken by what Jennie told her, watching her tired eyelids blink weakly on their way to close, and Jennie's dark eyes looking straight at her through her eyelashes and she can feel her breath hitting her face lightly.
Little by little, Jennie's gaze drops down from Jisoo's eyes to her lips and her eyelids close until she closes them completely.
She must be gone to sleep..
🎶⏸
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Jennie gradually opens her eyes to receive the morning light and wrinkles her face as a result. The moment she tries to lifts her head, a severe headache strikes her, causing her to lie down back again.
She rubs her forehead for a while and then tries to get up again. When she does, she sees on the nightstand a tray with two pills and a cup placed over it, and this leads her to absorb her surroundings as she begins to look around and while doing so, she takes notice of her clothes to find herself wearing pajamas.
She remains still, looking at them while trying to remember anything from last night, how she got here and how she changed her clothes.
Her memories were blurry and most of them had Jisoo in places like the club, carrying her and walking together, or here in the apartment, but they were messy and foggy, and she had glimpses of a conversation in her mind.. was she dreaming?
Is Jisoo the one who changed her clothes?
She breathes out annoyedly, ruffling her hair, she reaches out for the medicine, takes it and puts it in her mouth, drinking water after it and then returning the cup to its place.
She gets up and rubs her face and eyes as she tries to wake up more and begins walking slowly out of the room, still feeling slight buzzing in her head.
Jennie was walking in boredom and tiredly, still strewing her hair and looking down, until she lifts her head and stops in place when she sees who was standing at the dining table.
Jisoo.
She is putting some plates down and arranging them as she walks around the table. When she's satisfied, she turns her head to see that Jennie has woken up and is now looking at her in amazement.
"Good morning."
Jisoo greets softly, and from the features of her face, Jennie can tell that she is not angry or upset, and she isn't looking at her coldly either.
- "Good morning.." Jennie replies hesitantly.
They keep staring at each other for a few moments before Jisoo turns her gaze to the table and points at it and follows,
"Would you like to have breakfast with me?"
Jennie doesn't answer her and just eagerly nods and starts walking towards the table, not even thinking of washing her face anymore.
Jisoo walks to the side a little to make room for Jennie and pulls one of the chairs for her to sit on, and then pulls the chair next to Jennie for herself and sits on it.
They remain still, looking at the table silently, Jennie is confused, bewildered, happy, and emotionally attentive at the same time. She doesn't know why Jisoo is doing this and why she didn't talk to her about yesterday.
"You can say it."
Not being able to tolerate any more anticipation, Jennie begins quietly when Jisoo extends her hand to one of the plates, pushing her to pause for a moment.
"You can say it.. how I argued with you about drinking and then went and did the same." She continues, lowering her gaze shamefully.
"I made this breakfast."
Jisoo starts away from Jennie's topic as she takes the cooked french toast with one hand and with the other she takes the jam, drawing Jennie's attention to look at her.
"Of course, after several attempts to learn, I was able to achieve a result.." She keeps talking in a lighthearted tone while spreading the toast with jam.
"Here.. try this.." She says putting it on a Jennie's plate. "But I warn you, it might be a little over-cooked." She quips and turns to make a sandwich for herself.
Jisoo was talking while focusing her gaze on the table in front of her and at what she was making, while Jennie was loosely leaning her back on the chair and staring at Jisoo, staring only at her as if Jisoo was speaking to herself.
"Jisoo.." Jennie whispers, her eyes welling up. "Does this mean.. are we.." she trails off not knowing what is the right question.
- "Being in an argument doesn't mean breaking up."
Jisoo cuts her off putting what's in her hand aside, looks straight ahead and lets her hands land on the edges of her chair.
Jennie stays silent and licks her trembling lips before quietly following, "But it's hard."
- "But it's hard." Jisoo agrees hopelessly, slowly nodding.
"Won't you look at me, Jisoo?" Jennie asks hopefully.
Jisoo remains still for a while, and then begins to slowly turn her head towards Jennie until it is facing her, but still looking down. She looks perplexed like she is resisting something.
"Look at me." Jennie repeats her request.
Moments and Jisoo turnes her eyes up to meet Jennie's, and once she does, Jennie loses it and her tears begin to flow heavily without breaking their eye contact because at that very moment; Her heart skipped a beat, all her excuses, all her explanations, and all her reasons had vanished, and she found herself under the reality.
The realization hit her like a truck.
She can't escape anymore. She can't lie to herself anymore, and there is no point in denying any longer.
Because she didn't see it as clearly as she does now, and didn't feel it as strongly as she feels it now.
She is, utterly and without a single doubt, in love.
She's in love with Jisoo.
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To be continued
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Well.. finally.
