35 - What Was Said

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

With the words we've exchanged

We turn our lives' next page,

Untangled the knots and blots,

The bad whatnots of our own age.

Our naked eyes searched,

Looking at each other's.

We've peeled it off,

We laughed and scoffed,

Unraveling our ires.

-K.

~ • ~ • ~ • ~ • ~

"What did you and pops talk about?"

Kairo looked at Aisia over the book that he was reading.

After lunch, they decided to read books together at the mansion's library. Later on, they planned to do their own thing in their separate ways.

"We're doing this now?" Kairo asked.

"Yes. I've been dying to know."

"So... we're exchanging secrets?"

"Yes."

Kairo gulped. All this time, that was all that's been on his mind.

"How would Aisia take it? Do I tell her? What if she hates me after? How could she not hate me after? How can I say it in the kindest way possible? Dumb! That's what got you here in the first place, you were being too kind. Then maybe... I should just say it as it is?"

This was the first time he had thought this deeply about something like this. In the past, he never had to worry about being secretive and dishonest. He looked up to Nayani and Kayal, and sought to catch up to them.

But with Aisia, he had a dilemma about whether he should tell the truth or not to protect someone because he didn't deem them fit enough.

"I don't know... Grisia said that we shouldn't talk about it," he argued, hoping that it was enough to make Aisia back down on her own.

"He said he doesn't prohibit it, he's probably only worried that our secrets are so deep and dark that we'll begin to see each other differently!"

Kairo's secret definitely fit the bill, but did that mean that her secret was just as unspeakable? 

"You're really keen on knowing, huh," he was starting to give in.

"Yes, I just have to know!"

"Again, that means I'll also know about your secret," he repeated. This was his last question. He was considering sharing secrets if Aisia continued to bug him about it.

Aisia's face gradually changed, only understanding now what it meant after getting over her curiosity. She also had quite a distressing secret herself. Her face started to redden as the thumping of her heart quickened. She felt like her body was tensing up.

"... yes."

Kairo sighed.

"I'm sorry," he started. "My secret... it... I've also been thinking whether I should tell you or not, and I think I have to tell you if I truly see you as an equal... but... it's ironic."

"Ironic? What do you mean?"

"Remember when I said I'll let you tag along in my revenge?"

"Yeah?"

"I didn't... I didn't actually... mean it."

Shocked, Aisia fell silent processing Kairo's revelation.

She then asked for clarifications to further understand him, hoping that maybe he was mistaken or she was simply misunderstanding his words. "What do you mean? You changed your mind?"

"No. I... I lied to you. At that time, I... lied to you. It was very hard to say no, you put me on the spot—"

Aisia held her forehead, her eyes were still. "I... see."

"And I'm telling you this now. I have to tell you straight because I really do want to see you as my equal... and it's ironic because I currently don't see you as my equal, which is why I cannot have you following me down this dangerous path."

She lost all of her enthusiasm from earlier. Perhaps this was what Grisia warned them about.

"Aisia, please speak?"

Aisia's eyes remained still as hints of tears were starting to form.

Kairo gritted his teeth, already regretting his decision to listen to Aisia.

"So, that's what... it was," she smiled, letting her tears trickle down her face. "I finally feel like... you're talking to me, Kairo."

Kairo's confusion was apparent when he raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. "I... am talking to you though?"

Aisia shook her head. "I meant you're being sincere, silly."

"Ahh."

She sighed deeply. "I understand."

"You do?"

"Yes. I understand," she didn't wipe away the tears that dried up on her cheeks. "I was being too... selfish. Like you said, I put you on the spot. I was being hasty again, just like how I was with Grisia when I kept asking him about you when we first met. Because of that, Grisia had to prematurely explain things that he planned to reveal in the future."

Kairo was surprised by this development. She couldn't have reached this level of reflection merely in a few minutes. She had been thinking about this for a while now, which led her to see the parallels between the past case and the present case on the spot.

He began to think that maybe he underestimated Aisia's maturity solely because of her bratty demeanor.

He moved to sit beside her. "I still am a jerk for lying to you back then. I should've refused you right then and there, but I was too nearsighted to see that being honest with you was the better choice than being shallowly kind," he said.

"Yes, yes you are. You dummy, you big jerk, you- you... asshole!" she said as she sniffled.

Kairo didn't veer his eyes away from her irritated, hazel-brown ones. She sighed deeply again.

"But, I'm glad," she said.

Kairo tilted his head again in confusion.

"I'm glad that you're speaking to me now. Heart to heart. No masks, no veils. I felt like something was amiss back then, that something was off. Right now, I can smell it through my snot," she sniffled a wet one, indicating that she wasn't joking about the snot. "You're unraveling the truth... to me."

Kairo's heart was thumping. "So, this whole time, she had a hunch that I was lying? Through smell? Grisia did say that she has a gifted sense of smell that could even sense ki, just like how I have my sights that could see people's auras, and ki reflects the person's soul and character..."

"I'm still sorry about the way I treated you!" Kairo slammed his head audibly on the table in an attempt to make a deep bow. "I should've treated you better! You're also the person I talk to the most, and you accompany me whenever I read in the library, even if you maybe don't even have an interest in it."

"Hey! I do like reading books on my own now! I'm not doing it just for you. Don't get too far ahead of yourself, village boy."

He chuckled. "Alright, alright. Again, I apologize. I deserve you being angry at me. I will accept any and all punishments," Kairo regretted his careless statement as he saw Aisia's cheeky grin. He really needed to start being more mindful with his words just as Grisia and Jarquis warned him. "Okay, maybe only reasonable punishments—"

"Fine. Then your punishment is that I won't tell you what I talked about with him," she sniffled, but her eyes remained determined. She was starting to get a grasp of herself again, as well as Kairo. She no longer felt like she was desperately holding on to him by the tip of his fingers.

Kairo's expression softened. "V...Very well. It's only fair. I was hoping that you'd tell me about your secret too, but I think that would be very arrogant considering that I just crossed you."

"Well, we can still talk about the second time we talked to Grisia. Our dreams."

"Really?"

"Yes, I do still want to get closer to you and know more about you, because you're interesting, Kairo. Maybe in the future, I'll tell you my deepest secret," she smiled. But behind her smile was something different from cheekiness, Kairo thought. He just couldn't put his finger on it.

He breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad that we're still buddies."

"No?"

"What?"

"We're best buddies." she pouted, leaning on the table with her elbows. Her sparkling, hazel-brown eyes grew closer to Kairo's dark ones. "But now, we're closer buddies... close buddies... close friends!" she giggled.

"I see," he smiled contently.

"Ah! There!"

"What?"

"That's the smile. I can distinguish between your smile when you're lying and when you're really feeling it."

"How so?"

"You've got this adult-like smile when you're lying. I don't know how else to explain it."

Kairo didn't ponder too much about his own mannerisms and simply accepted Aisia's judgment. He took note of this observation at the back of his mind. 

"So, what's your dream?" she asked.

"I don't know, apparently I blacked out. Grisia said that I was uttering mysterious things that didn't make sense even to him. But, I remember saying that I didn't know what profession to pursue."

"You can say that?! I just told him that I'll become an adventurer like him or whatever. I'm also unsure of what to be in the future."

The two continued to share things and thoughts about each other and laughed together.

From beyond the bookshelves, two figures stood by discreetly.

Once again, Grisia and his head maid, Esmeralda, were listening in without the two children's knowledge. They entered the dark goop that grew on the wall, emerging on the other side quietly.

"I've seen enough," he smiled, taking his hand off of Esmeralda's shoulder. "I think this is the last time that I will eavesdrop on their private time together. On the other hand, you may continue if you wish to, Esmeralda."

"No, my lord. I too would also like to respect their privacy, at least as much as I could after already spying on them," she looked down with a pensive expression.

"Then you may simply blame it on me to satisfy your conscience. I urged you to accompany me anyway. I needed your unique shadow chakra nature to observe their growth. They've proven to me that they can handle themselves emotionally enough."

"I see. I appreciate your concern, my lord, but I wholeheartedly accept a share of the blame," she adjusted her glasses. "Committing a crime, even against those I hold dear, is a simple matter. I will toil for my lord. You simply need to wish it, and I shall do what must be done."

"That's pretty melodramatic, Esmeralda," he commented with a playful scoff.

Esmeralda blushed, flustered by how casually her master presented himself, making it look like she was taking things too seriously. She adjusted her glasses again and slapped Grisia on the shoulder in her embarrassment.

"M-My lord!"