287 His Deepest Regret

(continuation of Lia's diary content)

Date: XX/XX/XX

I knew my lie wouldn't hold much longer. But I am really glad that she was alive and well. It's just that she is no longer the same as the past. I heard she found her Mr. Right. While I am happy she is alive, this is another torment to Antonio. Sometimes, I don't know what I should do. Really.

I want him to live well, but he likes to ignore his health. It's tiring, but I can't help but to care for him. How pathetic I am. He came to me today. After many years of knowing me, he didn't even ask me why I did what I did. He immediately judged the situation and warned me. Hahaha...He warned me to not hurt her...To not hurt people cared for..

That's right...Because from the start, I wasn't a part of the list of people he cared for. Even if I was, I was probably listed at the bottom of the list. I'll never be his top priority, yet he is on mine.

Date: XX/XX/XX

I feel so tired. I've never felt like this before. Antonio got drunk yesterday night... and we did it. We aren't even a couple. We are friends, not fuck buddies. No, I'm no longer his friend. I am just a stranger to him. Perhaps, this was a one night stand to him. But he didn't know...for the most recent mission, I failed to do it. I couldn't hurt my target, and Master Liam found out.

As punishment, I was whipped until he said stop. The whip lashes hurt my back. If it wasn't for my injury, I would have pushed him off. Who wouldn't treasure their virginity? Even if they lose it to the man they love, who could endure the pain of listening to the man whisper another person's name throughout the night? He woke up and clearly didn't remember anything. He felt awkward. This was our final breaking point. I must let go.

I've fallen too deeply. I need to stop. I only remember the tears I cried that night. It was a cruel realization that I will never be the person he sees in his eyes. It's really tiring.

Date XX/XX/XX

Sigh.... I am speechless. I'm too tired to even write down what I've done. I'm getting sick and tired of his accusations to me. His cold glares will always be saved for me, exclusively me. I'm only human. I want to save one side, but can't maintain the other side because I will suffer punishments. My body can't be split in twos, can it? Someone tell me what I should do. Please. I beg someone to end this for me.

Date XX/XX/XX

Everything will finally come to an end. I found out today that I.....

(End of Diary content)

Antonio flipped the open-ended page only to find that she never continued writing in her diary. "What? What did she mean by coming to an end? That date was over two weeks ago? Why didn't she continue writing in her diary? What did she want to say?" His heart pounded uncomfortably, but he couldn't understand what she was referring to.

"Is it her feelings for me? But what did she find out that day? That day..that day....Isn't that the same date she was last at the office before her break? Then could she have spoken to Selina? ...Maybe Selina knows something about it?" Antonio pulled his phone out and swiftly dialed Selina's number. However, she rejected his call.

After a few more attempts, she even blacklisted his number! Before blocking his number, she sent him a text: "If you are going to interfere with my decision regarding Lia's employment, then you can save your saliva and time. I will not budge, not even a tad. She is my friend. If anything, you should be worrying about your work instead. Thank you."

Unfortunately, he wasn't able to reply to her text at this point. "Argh! Hospital! I'm going back to the hospital!" He whispered to himself and dashed out of the apartment.

- Hospital Private Room -

Jason was feeding Selina sliced pieces of fresh fruits when Antonio suddenly barged into the room. His usual neat attire was disheveled. His hair looked rumple as if he had fallen into a tree with his hair combed by branches.

"What the-" Selina nearly choked on the sweet peach she was chewing on. Jason quickly patted her back while she coughed.

"Selina! Are you okay?" Jason placed the bowl of fruits aside, continuously stroking her back.

"Yea.." Selina coughed twice before waving her hand to indicate she was fine. She wiped her lips and eyed the figure by her bed. For some reason, something felt different around him.

"Why are you here?" She asked, wiping some excess tears from her eyes. "Let me tell you, if it is about Lia, then you can forget it. I will not fire-"

"I'm not here to ask you to fire her anymore. I want to know if you know what happened to her. Do you know where she went? No, you probably won't know about her whereabouts. Then, do you remember if she said anything before her two weeks break? Did you talk to her or did she seem off in the office? Can you tell me if you said anything to her or maybe it is something she said to you that isn't normally said?" His solicitous tone was one that Selina had never heard before.

"We indeed talked about some personal matters. However, I don't think this has anything to do with you. This is her private matter, so unless you can give me a reasonable explanation for why you need to know about this, I will not tell you." Suspicions rose when he spoke the way he did.

'If I guess correctly...Could he be that bastard...?' Selina thought.

"That's because I...I am her-" Words clogged his throat when he wanted to tell Selina who he was to Lia.

"You are her....?" Selina dragged the last vowel purposely.