Ep. 86 - High Karma, Messing Around, Bored, Plaything?

At any rate, I apparently inadvertently got a lot stronger while losing one of my eyes forever… Pretty fair deal, at least I didn't lose an arm and a leg like a certain alchemist. Maybe I will fix his body in solidarity…

What was I about to say? Ah, yes! Well, apart from spending a lot of time with my wives and daughters to have them calm down, I mainly lazed around or revised the curriculum for the academies. Haven't done so in a couple of decades, now that I think about it…

I had created the Schnee Academy, which specialized in training support-oriented Soul Masters, the Xiao-Rose Academy, which specialized in training combat and exploration-oriented Soul Masters along with courses on medicine and how to help people, the Lie Academy, which specialized in training infiltration-oriented Soul Masters, the Hephaestus Academy, which specialized in training blacksmiths, architects, and such, the Loki Academy, which specialized in economics and politics, and the Nikos Academy, which specialized in anything related to command and tactics. I also created the Tula Academy, which is basically one huge library and specializes in the formation of researchers, teachers, and scientists of all sorts.

Aah, changing a cultivation world to a civilized society feels so good! At least now they aren't all that focused on martial arts and cultivation, but actually progressing their society further and further… I might as well create a utopia, but that would be boring. Look at Avalon: you can do absolutely nothing there except laze around and be bored out of your mind.

Oh, I am somewhat missing Ritsuka now. Well, he's clearing a Singularity right now, so I can't really disturb him. Actually, I sneakily attached a small pouch to his waist with some gear to protect him and a very large supply of Senzu beans with a small message. I also checked on the original RWBY universe and found that nothing was wrong. I didn't leave a message for now since that would cause more problems than anything. On the other hand, the 'new' RWBY universe was doing even better since I basically solved most of their problems. There is something I forgot to mention until now, but Grimm there were natural occurrences, so they will keep 'spawning' every so often, therefore Hunters will always be needed. Our younger selves were doing well. Weiss and Ruby had gotten together, same with Yang and Blake, Jaune and Pyrrha, and Ren and Nora. I sent them a small letter which was basically saying 'hi' and joking with Weiss, telling her I got a matching scar and one eye less. Her reaction was priceless: she went from angry, to worried, to laughing her ass off at my situation. How cute she is. I made a small portal and pushed my hand through, to pinch her cheeks.

Like so, between lazing around, messing with the mortals by giving them some interesting 'quests' like in SAO, and absorbing some of those poor Gods that came to conquer this reality, the year 2309 Post-Voice came about. These fuckers actually entered the Space Age quite early and were currently colonizing other planets. Since I am a generous God, I made some 'quests' and rewarded the astronauts with some interesting tech that will help terraform uninhabitable planets and build habitats with enough facilities to act as HQ's. I also built some Academies on the foreign planets, though they are in hidden places, and gave out the 'quest' to find them all. At any rate, today Tang San was born.

"Hinata, did you feel that?" I asked while sipping on some coffee and reading a book. I was on the top of the Tower sunbathing with my wives and daughters.

"Sure did, but we can deal with it later… Becoming a Goddess made me lazy… Cuddle with me more." she said.

I obviously obliged and had her lay on top of me. I was about to get to the fun part, but she fell asleep, so I spent the rest of the day lazing around. What a beautiful life I lead.

The next day, me and the gang went to Tang Hao's house in the countryside of the main continent on this planet. I knocked on his door and heard groaning and crying. What the fuck? Is he already drunk? Oh, he is. Poor Tang San.

It took maybe a minute for the door to open. When Tang Hao saw us, he immediately knelt on the ground and asked for forgiveness. Well, we were known to the entire world, so it's quite normal that he knows we are Gods.

"Stand up, Tang Hao. We are here to check on your son. He has an astonishing amount of Karma. I am sure he will do great things in his life. He will even become a God. One with a little 'g' but a God nonetheless." I said.

He stared wide-eyed and couldn't believe his ears: his son becoming a God? Sounds like bullshit. But it's a God himself telling him this…

"W-would you like to come in?" he said tentatively

"Oh! Yes, if you would. We will just check on your son today. Wouldn't want to impose too long."

We checked on the baby. Yep, he's definitely a reincarnated soul… He will be an interesting one. I sent him a telepathic message: 'Hello there, Tang San of the Tang Sect. I am a God. Since things have been very boring lately, I hope that you will help relieve my boredom. You are too young right now, so I will leave you be for a while. Ah, I will give you knowledge on the language here and the cultivation system. Don't let me down, or I might just wipe you out of existence!'

Before leaving I said: "Oh, your wife is still alive, I am sure you will meet again."

Another six years passed and Tang San was sent to one of my academies: the Xiao-Rose Academy. Since it is time for some interesting events to happen, I decided to mess with him. I checked with my Godly fuckery and made sure that all the main cast of Soul Land would be at the same academy. Good thing Xiao-Rose Academy also has some support-oriented courses. Eh, who cares, I could have just given them the knowledge and have them skip school…

I decided to give Tang San a mission: 'Conquer Xiao Wu!'. I saw through my Omni powers that he spit out his breakfast.

Seeing the 'canon' play out in front of my eyes was a very interesting experience… If only I could safely say that… I fucked up yet again and the 'canon' was not going to happen anytime soon. Tang San was too focused on fighting and had a 'cultivation' mindset, so he wasn't adapting well to this world even after six years. Most of the main cast ignored each other. Sure Xiao Wu and Tang San did get along and he was making an effort to 'conquer' her, but this was just plain boring.

The academies we built were perfected and almost no conflicts occurred between students. There was no competition between the schools since they were all somehow connected through exchange programs and the fact that they represent a God's specialty. Yeah, naming them after us meant that anything they did would reflect on our reputation, so the people of this world were very careful in that regard.

All in all, I am bored out of my mind, same with the others, so we gathered at the topmost level of the Tower.

"Fuck this place… Look, there's a universe called Earth Prime-" I started saying.

"The one where our universes are considered fiction?" asked Freya

"Exactly. Why don't we take one of those otaku's and use him or her as plaything. We reincarnate them with some 'wishes' or a 'blessing' into one of their 'fictional' worlds and observe him. We might as well go to the same world and mess around…"

"Perfect! This place is way too boring. We made it too perfect…" said Yang. "I want an adventure!"

"And I want a war! Or a conflict at least!" said Pyrrha.

"Yeah, we fucked up big time. Well, we at least got some upgrades in this universe, so it's fine." said Weiss.

Since we all agreed, I started observing the population of Earth Prime. It should be the world where I lived before dying or one of its alternate universes, so it was kinda nostalgic.

"Let's narrow down our options. Male or female?"

"Either, we can just genderbend them when we reincarnate them." said Loki

"Then we should exclude the universes we've already been to, or it will be boring." said Ruby

"We need a decently young person or they will probably not know much about 'canon'..." said Jaune

"Ok, those already narrow down our options enough. I will take the souls of those that die in the next five years and pull out a random one. Hopefully they will be entertaining." said Hinata as she started concentrating a little. Pulling a soul among millions from another universe quite 'far' from our current one is a little bit more annoying than expected.

Within a second, she had already extracted the soul and gave it corporeal form. She deposited the 'body' on the lowest floor of the Tower and used compulsion to make it have the 'feeling' it should climb up.

Let me describe the soul a little: an office-lady around 30, european, short red hair, a pretty sexy body… Goddamn, she's one of the girls that were in my same course at uni! So she was a weeb, huh? I will definitely give her some advantages. At least, she didn't have a family and was quite depressed. Poor girl…

Oh, she woke up. She's calm, way too calm.

"Hinata, did you make her this calm?"

"Nope, this is all her. I already like her, properly assessing her surroundings and not panicking. Guess she has some potential. Look, she began her climb."

It took the girl a couple of days to finally reach the top floor. And she was basically running. Good thing I removed the concept of fatigue from her, at least momentarily.

When she arrived, she immediately noticed us at the table, but didn't immediately speak. She started looking around and actually reading some of the books. I had translated them in a coded language that only those I allow can understand, so she flipped through the book, looking at the images to try and understand the subject, then put it back neatly in its place. She sighed in defeat and turned around, to be greeted by my smiling face.

"Hey Rebs… How's life been treating ya?" I asked.

"Rebs… There is only one person apart from my family that called me that…" she said, then punched my face. "You fucker! How could you fucking die?!"

"Die? Am I not in front of you?"

"I am dead, so that means that you are either a ROB or dead as well. Judging by your appearance, I guess that you are a ROB… Do you have any idea how sad I was when you died? All of your friends were as well…" she said. That actually reminded me that I did leave behind my family and friends… I used my Omnipotence to make it so that everyone would forget about me even existing on Earth Prime, except for Rebs here.

"Rebecca… I am a God. Come with me for now... Amethyst, get us some tea and something to munch on." I said, took my friend's hand and brought her to the table. The gang just used Omniscience to learn what she was talking about. Well, they had already learned of my reincarnation when they first became Gods, but it was inconsequential at that point. I will surely get an earful now though.

I made a comfy chair appear for her, while Amethyst got her some tea and cookies.

"So? What's with this situation?"

"Well… You see, Rebs… We are bored. We randomly chose a soul to reincarnate and you are the lucky winner. Tell me your wishes, and I will grant them." I said.

"Clichè! Clichè as fuck!" she said, then sighed. "For my first wish, explain why you are a God all of a sudden."

"Well, I died, I met a ROB, much like now though he was quite a lot weaker than me now, I got a wish and reincarnated. I met the original gang…" They raised their hands. "Saved a world, got married, then started adventuring through the Multiverse. We became Gods and that brings us here."

She stared at me, then sighed. "I am sighing way too much, and it's all your fault, you know? Second wish: eliminate the memories about me from everyone on Earth."

"Granted."

"Third wish: tell me who your wife is."

"Ah, that… Well, there's Weiss, Yang, Ruby, Loki, Freya, Merlin, Rimuru, and Hinata."

"A harem? Seriously? You weren't even that popular back in uni… Anyway, do I get to choose where I reincarnate?"

"Of course, you get to choose the world, any modifications you want to make, your appearance, race, all those things. I will just answer your next questions. Yes, all those worlds in anime, manga, books, and so on exist. No, I won't make you a Goddess straight away because I can assure you that it gets boring, plus it isn't too hard with the right wishes. You have unlimited wishes, since we know each other. You have all the time you need, we are immortal. Yes, you can get a lap pillow like the 'good old days'."

When I finished saying that, she immediately moved her chair so that she could lay her head on my lap.

"Hey, Tula… Did we miss something here? Aren't you two way too close?" asked Jaune

"Well, we were basically siblings. We grew up together, so it's quite normal."

"Oh, childhood friends?! Nice, you would make a good couple! Why don't you ask for that?!" said Nora, earning a glare from my wives.

"Good idea, whoever you are. Fourth wish: I want to be your wife as well."

"Nora, you will be the death of me, I'm sure. Granted, but you should first become a Goddess, just to add a little hurdle for you." Weiss gave me a piercing stare. "What? I did say she could wish for anything…"

"Oh, it's not for that. It's just that you never told us about this 'childhood friend' of yours."

"Are they yanderes?" asked Rebs in a low voice.

"Well, they are not yanderes as in 'look at my man and I stab you', that's more my thing. They are incredibly jealous though, that's for sure. Once you become my wife though, they will be your best friends, I am sure of that."

"Ooh, never knew you were a yandere… Well, you were more of an introvert back then, so I guess you never 'blossomed' into one. Fifth wish: I want Godly intelligence and adaptability. Sixth: constant zenkai boosts. I want a 'magic heart' that grants me seemingly infinite energy. Cultivation knowledge, that will be a pretty easy way to become a Goddess. I want a set of armor and a weapon, bonded to my soul and as strong as you can make them. I want to be able to use any type of energy as well. Oh, instant mastery, instant comprehension, and an Eternal Mangekyou Sharingan. And a pouch with infinite Senzu beans. Also, make me unkillable and immortal."

"And you were accusing me of being clichè… Granted. Hephaestus, you deal with the armor and weapons. Hecate will make you a magic heart. Knowledge is my area."

"Nerd."

"Fuck you, Rebs. We both know why I chose Knowledge as my Divinity. Actually, it was you who convinced me that it would be the best one in a cultivation world!"

"Hehe! I also want to be able to come here, in this place. It is basically a 'Library of Heaven's Path', right?"

"Granted. It isn't like that. This Tower contains all of the knowledge from all existing universes and their alternate versions. I am constantly creating new books with my own ideas and such."

"Even better. Now, tell me: how do I become a Goddess as fast as possible? Consider this a wish."

"Fine! Goddammit, I regret saying infinite wishes and putting no limits. The fastest way is asking me for the best cultivation technique suited to you, asking for knowledge on the laws, and cultivating in the Tower or in close proximity to any one of us. Before stepping into the True God Realm, you would have to ask me or anyone else from the gang to bathe you in the 'primordial soup', so that your constitution will change completely. After that, you're pretty much done. You will have become a Goddess and accomplished my requirements. The Voice of the World will then change you to an Empyrean, an Incarnation, then a Concept Origin."

"Got it. I wish for you to create the best techniques suited to me and knowledge on the laws. I also wish that you bathe me in the 'primordial soup' or whatever. Also, give me infinite money. Cool! Now, reincarnate me in the… Let's do the Lord of the Rings universe. Put me in Rivendell as an Ancient Elf or whatever the superior race to them is. I want to keep my current body, just make it younger. Oh, make it so that I never get married and no one is attracted to me. It would be a problem if I can't have my first night with you, dear husband." she said.

"Ugh, fine! Vados, you can deal with bringing her there and making the changes she asked for."

"Yes, Master."

"This is going to be a pain to deal with, right? Now I understand what Tiffany felt when he reincarnated me…"