The foundations of happiness

The sky, the brilliant light of the moon, and the beautiful shining stars here were a scenery i had missed. It was something i remembered but not like this. The pouring rain, the sound of droplets hitting the ground, and the occasional flash of blue and white through the sky, only served to make it more stunning. I felt at home, when i stood in this weather. Though my body was shaking from the cold, i could feel a sense of belonging. An instinctive urge to remain there. Of course, the maids and servants could not understand anything i was saying, so they decided to forcefully take me away. So uncivilized, one wouldn't think these guys were truly servants of a big shot clan.

The room was....Not much warmer than outside. It was a traditional Japanese house. Mostly made from wood, with a wide interior and sliding doors. All this didn't exactly help with the coldness of the room.

But the place itself was similar to home. A simple bed, a bunch of books to read and even a wooden sword in case the owner wanted to do some exercise, and the servants brought a healthy amount of food every day. It was simple, enjoyable and peaceful life. If there was anything lacking, it would be those 2 people from my past. Mother and father, they are called.

Mother, visits me from time to time, but for the most part she is either too busy with her duties as a servant, or just doesn't want to be around me much. I have felt the same emotions i felt at my birth from her. She is scared of something regarding me, and i have a guess too. Its not exactly anything new, to see children being abused here. They are labeled as 'Worthless' or just a shame on the family, until proven otherwise.

Father has never came here. I don't even know him to be frank. I imagine i am currently considered as a shame too, so if i manage to prove otherwise, i might get a chance at meeting him.

This place reeks of negative emotions. Anger, arrogance, disgust, inferiority, curses, they are just everywhere.

Apparently this is important to note, as there is a thing in this world called curse spirits. These are probably the monsters that woman from the office talked about.

They are born from people's emotions. It is a wonder that there are no curses in this house. At least not one i could see.

If i had to say i am satisfied, that would be wrong. I not happy. Strangely, i have the same bed, same hobby and same conditions as in my previous life, but this life doesn't feel as good at all.

Was there more to my happiness than this?

I think i was scammed.

Its been 3 years and this is nothing like what i imagined!

I believe the best word to explain my current situation is "Lonely".

That is not to say i haven't tried talking to the other children in the household. They just didn't seem to be too intrested. Nonetheless i have made some....acquaintances.

Holding a small Bokken in my hands, i began swinging it in an arc, or downwards.

It would seem my family places a high level of importance on martial arts. Specially swordsmanship, as most of the men i have seen, walk around the house with Katana's in hand.

I don't even need a teacher for this though. It would seem that woman from before has definitely decided to shower me with her mercy.

At first it was a bit weird, but eventually i got the hang of it. At least i think so.

My muscles are strong, so the weight of the Bokken is insignificant, but there is still a discomfort if i move it with a wrong posture.

So basically, discomfort means my posture is problematic. Aside from that, it was only a matter of focus, and increasing the force of the blow bit by bit, until i get tired of it, and decide to read a book.

Most of the books here are actually quite interesting, as they explain some supernatural phenomena from 1000 years ago. Vengeful spirits, sorcerers, historical figures, overall fun stuff.

*Whoosh*

The door slid open at that moment, giving way to a man in his 50's if i had to guess, along with a woman, holding a tray of food, while the man held a sword.

That isn't anything strange. From time to time, some old man with a higher seat would come and check on the kids' health and progress. The woman is simply a servant.

Both Wore white haories, Though the man wore a black kimono under it, while the womans' kimono was red. They looked as you would expect from traditional Japanese people who lived 500 years ago. This is something that is shared with not only the other clan members but also the mood, and the state of the houses. As they are interconnected traditional houses for each member of the family.

"I see at least someone is determined to become a model sorcerer of the clan. This is good, but there is no need to push it too much. Your actual training will only begin once you awaken your cursed technique." Said the man.

I have heard of that term before. To my understanding, a cursed technique is like an affinity, or specialty, with the difference that it limits your abilities. Once a cursed technique is awakened, it will determine most of a sorcerers abilities. Not capabilities though, as even a person with a weaker cursed technique, could become strong, depending on their competence. This is a value that i personally agree with, as it is logical. A person with the ability to manipulate space, will always be superior to someone whose cursed technique is the ability to control fire, in terms of abilities.

Naturally, a power system like this, supports the mindset of the strong eating the weak, and makes the weak seem insignificant and worthless. Thus, this is a main concern for any parent, "Does my child possess a cursed technique?" Depending on the answer to that question, you can determine if your child's birth was worth the pain of pregnancy.

It is even more true for this man, as he is brother to the current head of our clan, he is Ogi Zen'in. Someone who has twin girls as his children. Something that is considered to be a bad omen.

They are cute. Incredibly cute. But even i can see that there is something wrong with one of them. Perhaps for this reason, he has been visiting me after catching me practicing with a Bokken sometime ago.

I can clearly see his emotions and understand his thoughts. The advantage of spending who knows how long, inside an endless hallway, deep in my own thoughts.

Its weird for me to be the subject of this man's attention like this. I have simply concluded that its for the best to ignore him.

I simply nodded my head to him, refusing verbal affirmation, while appearing to be respectful.

The servant put the tray of food on a table, before bowing her head and dismissing herself from the room.

However, the old man stopped before the door, and said.

"I thought you should know, your mother has recently been promoted to a grade 2 sorcerer. For this reason, she will be spending more of her time on missions, as a support for the combatants of the clan. As such, you are expected to behave yourself while she is gone. We don't want to hire a babysitter for you." He informed me, before moving on. How kind of him to personally do that.

Not like she ever did take care of me anyway. Though i didn't need her to do much either.

*Sigh*

Taking the tray of food on the table, i saw my own reflection on the mirror.

Average.

Black hair, black eyes, white skin and i suppose a rather cute face with all the baby fat. Nothing special at all.

That is one of my disappointments in this life. Though i guess it could be worse. I could have been a tentacle monster if i had chosen to be inhumane.

The food on the other hand...was rather nice. Probably not the best. Simple rice balls i think, and...some other things i had never seen nor heard of. From just that, i can conclude that i have never been to japan in my first life.

I learned the language good enough to speak comfortably, but it would just be too embarrassing to ask the name of the foods. The lack of a mother figure is definitely showing.

Though i believe those are noodles, no?

Well, they taste fine. Though some of them just lack meat. Not that i have any right to complain.

Anyways....

From here, thinking about future is honestly both reliving and headache inducing.

It is a relief that i don't have to study the subjects i have probably read before, such as math; but that doesn't mean i can sit here and do nothing. It is simply the replacement of a great evil with another great evil.

As a man in this household, i am obliged to:

A- Learn martial arts at a young age like every other member of the clan.

B- become a Jujutsu sorcerer.

C- Join one of the squads that serve the Zen'in clan depending on my grade or the lack of cursed technique.

D- Leave descendants even if i have to do it with a servant.

These are the only things that are expected of me.

That in itself isn't so bad since my boons already guarantee my success with both martial arts and Sorcery.

The problem is the fact that this way, my future aspirations would basically be soldiering. Not exactly the picture of the comfortable life i had wanted to have. I am just too lazy for that.

I just wanna make enough money to get a house, some food, preferably a wife, then sit on my ass with a stable amount of savings, and maybe work once a month.

Sorcery does have a decently high payment to workload ratio, granted there is a risk of dying. Furthermore, it is a perfect job for someone who is talented at fighting and won't receive any education. Not sure if the fault lies with the upbringing or the system of society, but it is structured to make this the most appealing job to people like me so long as we awaken a cursed technique.

In conclusion, i should strive to become a sorcerer, independent to the clan.

Tokyo Jujutsu High, or the sister school at Kyoto.

Both provide the means of independence. Though they also accept people from the 3 big families, that isn't really neccessary for the heirs to attend in order to learn Jujutsu. They are mainly made for the sake of foreign sorcerers who would get nothing from the other clans, and those exiled but still unwilling to give up, the outlaws. It is basically a institution for misfits, and maybe some snowflakes here and there too.

At any moment if i believe i have the neccessary skills to survive on missions, i can cut my connections with the clan and start my school life.

*sigh*

This life just isn't what i wanted. It's too difficult.

Should i curse myself for not predicting this situation, or is it because i didn't recall what truly made me happy.

But i think it had something to do with people. Those i no longer remember, but know that existed.

Its just that, i don't think i can really replicate that. Here, my acquaintance aren't pleasant. There is a lot of children living in this household. Not all of them are treated the same of course, as a rule, anyone whose name starts with NA is a son of the current head. None of them feel pleasant to talk to. Natsuki, Norito, Naoya, even the girl, Nanaka.

I don't think i am desperate enough to consider changing my attitude and joining their friend group yet. Not to mention, my status as the child of some no name father doesn't help the situation.

There is also the children of the old man that just came, namely, Maki and Mai. They don't seem to be interested in me. Or in anyone for that matter. They tend to play with themselves all the time.

I feel like i will slowly go mad if i just sit here in all my loneliness. Either that or i would become a sword god out of sheer boredom.

The food was finished, and it was time to go to sleep. I still can't shake off the good feeling that this weather gives me. I feel like its a waste to sleep tonight. It always feels the best at nights.

Going outside, i see 4 men guarding this section of the houses. If i get caught i will be harshly disciplined. I can tell by the faces of the guards. They really don't seem to be in the mood for anything but beating their wives.

Not really a problem for me though. I am good at sneaking around the shadows.

Getting beneath the wooden floor of the house, i got on all four and started crawling without making sounds. I love how small this body is.

Rotating around the house, i ended up on the backside of it. The houses in this place are interconnected in a circular shape of sorts. Behind the houses, is a small garden filled with trees of all kinds. Once i get there, it would practically be impossible for the guards to find me.

There is just one tiny bit of issue.

"Have you heard? The heads' child has awakened his cursed technique. They say he is a genius that will certainly take his fathers' place." Said a man in a white haori that has gotten a bit dirty and soaked due to the rain.

"I just hope he doesn't end up as a drunkard. Not that you and i have any right to speak out about it, but it is embarrassing that this old man is representing the whole clan." Said another man, in the same outfit.

"Yeah, but there is nothing to worry about. If the brat is as good as they say he is, he might just get too arrogant to drink and embarrass himself."

While there are guards on the back, the left side is a blindspot. Just need to sneak past these idiots.

I waited until they looked to the right side to check it, before running as silently but also as fast as i could, to the left, while looking back at them to make sure they haven't noticed. Here the sound of my feet was muffled by the droplets of rain, hitting the houses' ceiling.

I ran until my small body was smacked into something rough, which was a tree.

Mission accomplished.

I really would have preferred if i could go up the tree, but i think my body is a bit weak and small for that. Instead, i opted to sit in between multiple trees, enjoying the sensation of the water drops that fell from the leafs on my skin. The feeling was akin to soft but cold fingers trailing my skin, massaging it. The cold weather that is akin to sleeping in front of an air conditioner in summer, while hugging a cold pillow. Or hugging a blanket on a colder winter night...

It just feels so right.

It feels like bliss that i can feel with all my senses.

The beautiful garden that takes away my vision, the smell of earth after rain, the sound of droplets falling on the leaf...

So peaceful, so calming. I think this could be happiness. If this feeling could be taken into a house, then it would probably result in happiness.

It will be alright. I just need to find a way to persevere it.

Lost in this wonderful feeling, i didn't notice the passing of time. I didn't notice when, but at some point i made a pillow out of leaf on the ground and grass, and rested in a more comfortable position. Then, at some point, my eyes started feeling heavy. Even when i tried keeping them open, it just wouldn't work.

So i just gave up, and let them close on their own. Oblivious to the situation i would find myself in the very next morning, when i open my eyes again.