My Anger, My Pride, My Weakness Part 1

(Masaki POV)

Standing in front of normal looking house, I frowned getting closer to the door. Knocking hard, it was quickly answered by middle aged woman with glasses and wearing a strange hat. She looked me up and down before smiling. 

"Do you need something young man." 

Trying to lay aside my rude demeanor I lifted up some papers in my right hand.

"My names Masaki Iwao, I'm a friend of Oe. I wanted to hand her some papers for class since she didn't show up."

"You're a friend of Oe, how delightful. I don't think Oe has had ever over. You can take a seat on the couch, oh where are my manners. Do you want something to drink?"

The woman's face lifted into a smile, before leading me into the house and sitting me on the couch.

"Just water will be fine."

 Sitting on the couch, I looked around the place seeing photos of Oe and what I presumed to be her father and mother. Looking at the figure of her mother pouring a glass of water, I gazed at the hat that was on her head.

'Who wears hats inside?'

Going back to looking around I looked at more pictures of their family, feeling a stream of tiredness hit me. While still looking around I felt a feeling of melancholy.

'They look like a happy family.'

"Here you go."

Feeling a something cold touch my neck, I was confused. The cold cup of water was pressed lightly on my neck. Grabbing it I took a quick sip, when did she get behind me? Accepting the glass of water, I took a sip before putting it down on. Oe's mother took a seat in front of me before sipping on a glass of her own. 

"Sorry burdening you with having to come all the way over here. For some reason she's hidden herself in her bedroom." 

"It's no problem." 

Trying to give small answers, looking at her I saw a small smile on her lips, I felt myself become uncomfortable looking at it. I took another drink of water before putting the glass back down. 

"Our teacher tasked me with coming here to deliver some work. He also wanted me to check on her and make sure nothing had happened to her." 

"Well, that teacher must be very considerate, sending a student over to check on her is so nice."

Looking forward to me with a smile, her mother continued.

"I don't know why, but a few days ago she came home late. A boy with similar hair to you dropped her off before walking away. When she got inside her eyes looked different, almost unfamiliar like she was distant. After taking a bath she went to her room like she normal do, but she hasn't left her room for anything but food and some other things. Oe has always been shy but never a home body like now."

"So, a few days ago. Did anything else happen."

'Must be after the warehouse incident.'

Looking at the situation face first, there was no way she'll come out. My fist started clenching up while they rested by my side. 

'How am I supposed to get her out?'

"We'll at night I'll randomly hear her scream, like she was scared of something. She used to have night terrors as a kid. But she never acted like this." 

I started tuning out the woman, how can I get her to come back to school? Trying to hide my clenched fist I rested my hand over it. caressing the skin to try to get off the irritation growing in me. 

'If this continues than that fucking idiot will definitely pass me.'

"Oh, sorry I must've been talking your ear off."

Snapping out of my thoughts I looked at her trying to shake off my anger. 

"It's no problem."

Clapping her hands together, she smiled.

"I've got an idea, how about you talk to her. Follow me I'll lead you to her room." 

She got up looking at me with a wide smile, before I begin getting up too. 

"Oh, ok."

Getting up Oe's mother led me to the Oe's door before walking away. I knocked on the door softly before hearing rustling inside. 

"It's me."

The rustling inside halted before a small and almost dead voice carried out. 

"M-Masaki."

"Stop being a child and come out."

"I-I don't want to, it's too d-dangerous."

Hearing the stuttering and weak voice I grew annoyed.

"Are you just going to sit here forever until you die in there."

"Y-yes, it's safer in here."

My teeth started grinding against each other before I reached for the doorknob. Trying to open the door, it stayed closed due to it being locked. 

"I can't believe my faith rest in such a weak, timid, annoying girl like you. I wouldn't even be here talking to you if I wasn't forced."

Placing my hand on the door, my face contorting. I tried my best not to knock down the door.

"I'll break down this door and drag your body to school if that what it takes to get you there. Open this door you pathetic and useless fucking idiot."

Gripping the doorknob again, I felt my anger rise and rise. As I stood there a mouse like response squeaked out.

"I-if you don't want to be here than leave. I'm not coming out."

Feeling my eyes almost pop out of my skull, I let go of the knob before walking away from the door with a huge breath. 

"You're leaving."

Oe's mother sounded concerned while looking at me walking to the front door. Nodding my head as a response, I walked out the door not looking back. Making my way somewhere else where I could calm down.

- Some Time Later -

'Useless fucking bitch, fucking pathetic bacteria brained dumbass.'

I grabbed a bag of chips from a shelf walking up to the cashier of the convivence store. Reaching into my pocket and searching for a bill. To my dismay, it took me a bit to pull out the money.

'Shit, that's the last of my money.'

Letting out an annoyed sigh I handed it to the cashier. Walking out a stood near the door slowly opening the bag. 

'Fuck, where should I go now.'

Angrily chewing on the chips, while walking away from the convivence store.

'I can't go back home. She probably won't even let me in.'

While rounding a corner, I ran into a person. The chips in my hand dropped to the ground. 

"Hey, watch were you're going dumbass." 

'My money.'

Not even looking at the source of the voice, I continued looking down at the chips.

"Dude calm down don't you know who that was." 

A second voice rang out while I was still looking at my chips on the ground.

"I don't care who it is. They obviously don't know manners."

A foot came crashing down on the chips, crushing them. 

"Dude that's Masaki chill out."

Looking up I saw two boys my age. Staring at the boy, the scared one grabbed the other trying to calm him down. 

"Sorry, Masaki he's new to town. You remember me we had science together last year, I helped you with some work."

The scared boy shined a small smile trying to smooth the situation out. 

"Don't apologize to this bastard."

'Is everyone just trying to piss me off.'

Clenching my fist, I looked the boy down head to toe. I could easily beat him; all it would take is one punch. My frustration and anger from earlier started building up, I could feel my fist tighten even more.

"What you just used is a power that could easily kill a human being."

Sensei's words rang in my ear. Clenching my teeth, I moved past the two. 

"YEAH, RUN AWAY COWARD."

Every part of me wanted to turn around and punch that boy. Hit him so hard that he flies in the air and so hard that he'll be eating out of a tube forever. With every fiber of my being, I wanted to punch those words out of his mouth. 

But I keep walking until I was some distance away, finding myself in a park. Freezing in place, my whole face scrunched up. Clenching my fist I launched a punch at a tree, with the loud impact a sizable dent was left in it. 

Looking at the punch, my mind wandered. If I had hit the boy would the same thing happen. But my thoughts were quickly cut feeling a pain in my hand. It looked beat up. 

'Fuck.'

I put my hand back in my hoodie pocket before feeling a strange object in it. Taking it out a key laid in my palm.

"Make sure you show up even if you're late. Oh, and there's a key under the door mat." 

Gripping the key, I started walking into the direction of Sensei's house. 

'Is he stupid or something, who gives people the key to their house so easily.'

After some walking I ended up at Sensei's house. Holding my breath before putting the key in, my face became surprised when the key unlocked the door.

'It actually worked.'

Looking at the key I put it into my jacket before walking in closing the door behind me. Walking in I felt a strange feeling of loneliness. 

'He must not be home.'

Walking around for a bit, I entered the kitchen before finding a note. Opening it up, I saw that it was addressed to me from sensei.

"Hey, I'm usually not home until late at night. There's some food in the microwave heat it up. There's some snacks in the pantry if you get hungry again."

Putting the note down I opened the microwave finding a plate of food. Astonished a bit I heated the food up before taking it out and seating at the table. I slowly began eating the food.

'It's good.'

After finishing the food, I put the plate in the sink before walking into the guest room. Opening the door and turning on the light. There was another note with clothes rested neatly under it. 

"I didn't know if you had anymore clothes if you decided to come back and need a place to sleep. So, I went out and bought you some clothes if you need them. Hopefully they fit and don't just lay your dirty clothes on the ground brat. There's a basket for them in the closet, hang them there too brat. Hopefully you saw my first note, if you did don't stay up too late. I hope you'll be asleep before I get back. and if you do good night brat."

Reading the note, the paper became blurry in my view and droplets landed on the sheet. Putting the note down I rubbed my eyes.

"Something must've gotten in my eyes."

I put the clothes up before laying down. Laying down into the soft bed my eyes became heavier until I fell asleep.

[Masaki slowly fell asleep, falling into his dreams. Masaki started to have a very familiar dream. A small black hair boy stood looked down at a woman asleep on a couch with a bottle next to her.]

"Mom, the water for the bath is cold. It won't get hot."

The boy tried to wake up the women, but he's attempts were useless as she didn't wake up. The boy walked away before heading back to the bathroom and remembering his mother's words.

"Don't forget to take a bath every day, you're old enough to wash yourself and Mommy has to work sometimes. Can you do that for me Masaki." 

Remembering her kind smile, Masaki hastily walked towards his bathroom. 

Getting into the cold bath, the boy teeth chattered away while he tried rubbing his body with the cold water. His whole body felt ice cold until he got out the shower drying himself up before heading into his room and bundling up in his blankets still feeling cold. 

The boy slowly drifted off to sleep ignoring the cold.

"Now that your Daddy is gone. You have to be a big boy now Masaki."

His mother's words were once again the only thing he had. The only thing able to bring him to peace in the ice cold.

The next day the boy's whole body felt icy cold, he barely could get out of bed. The boy had gotten sick, the boy sadly cried out for any help pleading for someone to come. But no one came. He could only lay there bundle up in a ball under his blanket. Begging for his mother to come, but she never came.

[After this the boy quickly became a young teen, standing up in front of his mother she looked at him in angered. She had lost that once kind smile now replaced with a glossy glaze complementing her open attire.]

"I received another call from your teacher. You hit a teacher; can't you just not cause trouble for a week. You know how hard it was convincing your teacher to not suspend you."

I felt sick hearing her words, looking down at her I couldn't stop myself from feeling immense disgust. The incident repeats in my head every day, that teacher and his smile. He entered my mind, making me feel my stomach turn.

Masaki mind played the event in his head over and over again. Him finding out about the messages between his mother and the teacher. Her 'Help' with his grades, and why his teacher was so nice to him.

I turned around and walked away ignoring the voice of his mother, her attempts to stop him and her cries for him to stop. Walking into his room he closed the door closing himself out from the world. The world outside his room wasn't a world to him but simple one thing. 

Hell. 

[Laying in his bed, Masaki slowly began awakening.]

I woke up feeling the sun hit my eyes. Getting up, I checked my phone catching the time. 

"Damn it." 

Class had most likely started by now. letting out a sigh I got up, I quickly took a bath before drying off and putting on some clothes. Walking to the kitchen I noticed a meal in the microwave. 

I quickly heated it up and eat it before walking out the door and locking it. Walking to school I felt the cool air blow around me. Entering I made up an excuse before heading to Mr. Shida's class. 

Making it to the door, for some reason I froze up with my hand on the door. 

'Why am I so nervous.'

Confused with myself, I began shaking my head before opening the door.

[Everyone in the class turned their head towards the opening door seeing Masaki standing there. Kota turned his head before motioning Masaki to come in.]

I slowly walked to my desk not paying any attention to the looks I was getting. After sitting down Sensei started teaching again.

I looked back where Nishimoto was seated seeing him with his head down. 

'He doesn't look different from yesterday. What had he and sensei done. How strong had he gotten since yesterday?" 

Turning back around thinking more and more before letting out a deep breath. Calming down I focused back on Sensei teaching as the day went by. Before long the class was over. 

As everyone exited the class I stayed behind, Sensei sat at his desk looking at me. Turning around I saw a still sleeping Nishimoto. I raised from my seat before walking to his desk. His head following me silently causing my spin to shiver a bit. Walking to his desk I looked down at him while he started back up at me. 

"Yes, Masaki."

I looked at him, with his monotone voice and his hair covering his eyes it was hard to read his expression. This always gave me a feeling of being in front of a person who didn't even view me as a human being. 

"I couldn't convince Oe to return." 

"So, you couldn't. Do you know why." 

I felt my hands became moist; I couldn't see his eyes, but I could feel their gaze on me.

"She's scared."

Hearing him sigh, my heart slowed down a bit. Was it the fear or the shame of failing that made me feel this way? I didn't know.

'How could I make her to return, my fist became clenched. This was unfair, Nishimoto got to receive training with no stupid mission. But I was treated this way.'

My mind raced, anger slowly filling my thoughts. 

"Do you think that's the only reason."

Breaking through my rain of angered thoughts. I lingered on his words. 

My mind started racing thinking of the reason.

"You know when I was younger, I had a younger brother who was the most fearful person ever. You probably couldn't ever tell if you meet him, but he was like a cat who had just been born. Fearful of every little thing, but he over grew these fears. Do you want to know how?"

A genuine smile appeared on Sensei's face; I don't think I've ever seen him smile like this.

"How?"

"He had me. That idiot followed me everywhere I went, facing his fear for one reason."

Holding up one finger he continued to talk.

"Because he knew his brother was right there with him. He knew even if he got hurt or if he was pitted against the world that as long as his brother was with him, he was fine. You said she's scared to come out, that's probably because she feels as if she'll be hurt if she does. So, there's only one thing you can do."

Sensei reached to the said grabbing a piece of paper and pen and writing on it. 

"Here use this. Go speak with her one more time"

He handed me a piece of paper that was signed by him. 

"If someone stops you than say I sent you. And if they have a further problem and tell them to fuck off and come to me personally."

Sensei's smile grew even more bigger before I took the paper from him. A weird feeling waved through my body when I grabbed the paper. 

"Thank you, Sensei." 

"Why are you thanking me, the mission isn't finished." 

Walking out of his classroom, I began quickly running through the hall. Pushing past a few students, I exited the main building before hopping over the wall covering our school. 

Landing on my feet I ran towards the direction of Oe's house. After some time, I made it to her house. Knocking on it out of breath it was answered by her mother. 

"Oh, it's Masaki. Are you okay, you seem to be out of breath?"

Taking a few seconds to catch my breath I let out a croak of words.

"Can I talk to Oe." 

"S-sure."

Looking at me confused, she stepped aside before I walked towards Oe's room looking at the door. Standing in front of it I began knocking on it softly. 

"Oe, you there?"

Hearing a few things move from behind the door, there wasn't a answer before I knocked again. 

"Oe, I know you're there."

Still not hearing an answer I stood there for a minute before taking a deep breath. 

"Oe, you can't stay in there forever."

"J-just leave me alone." 

A small mouse like voice came out from behind the door.

"Oe, I know you're scared. But you can't stay locked in her forever."

"Yes, I can. It's safer in here." 

Hearing the uncertainty and fear steaming out of her voice I took a deep breath. Feeling the paper in my hand from sensei, memories of my old teacher flashed in my head. Pushing them down I took another breath before responding. 

"You know Oe, you're right it is safer in your room. The outside world it's dangerous, it's scary, it's sometimes even evil."

Sitting down with the door in front of me I could hear further movement coming from behind the door before it stopped. As the noise stopped, I could hear the sound of small breathing coming from behind the door. 

"The world is completely unfair, in my opinion it's hell. Oe, I know you're in there scared and afraid thinking that as soon as you step out you could die. And you're right it could be a murder or an accident even."

I gripped my hand before looking at it.

"But with all of those things being alone is the harshest punishment anyone can endure. It's a cold and freezing punishment that no one should go through. Right now, that loneliness probably feels like a cover for the nightmares that sit at the edge of your bed. But I promise more than anything that it's just an Iron maiden with soft padding. The longer you stay in there the closer the spikes get Oe. You're probably think right now it's not that bad, but I promise it gets worse. It quickly turns into its own hell." 

Was I really opening up to a girl I don't even know that well. Trusting an even more suspicious teacher, but for some reason this feels good. Chuckling a bit at, I got back up before putting my hand on the door. 

"Oe, I know more than anything that you're in there lonely. But I also know I can't force you to come out. But one thing I can promise is no matter, I'll do everything in my power to make that fear disappear. So please Oe let me save you from that hell."

As my hand lingered on the door, it slowly opened. Looking down at her, Oe kept her head down.

"You promise."

"Of course." 

Suddenly Oe, leapt forward extending her arms and embracing me. My arms awkwardly were in the air before they embraced her back. 

"I don't want to ruin this moment, but we have to go meet sensei." 

Looking down at Oe, I felt her become nervous again. 

"O-okay. I'll be right back."

Stepping back, I looked at Oe before she walked into her room and closed her door again. 

"You want something to drink Masaki?"

Feeling a jolt, I turned my head to see Oe's mother. 

'When did she get there.'

"No, I should be fine." 

Walking over the leaving room, I sat down waiting for Oe. After some time, she came out, looking at me as she began heading over.

"You ready Oe."

"Y-yea" 

Walking out the house after saying goodbye to Oe's mother we walked to school in silence before sneaking in and heading to Sensei's classroom. Walking to his door, I heard a voice come from the inside. 

"101, 102, 103..." 

Opening the door to the classroom, Sensei was sitting at his desk while Nishimoto was performing pushups. His hair pulled back Sensei looked at both Oe and me. 

"Oe, seems you made it back." 

Oe, hurriedly grabbed my arm before standing behind me.

"Y-you're the guy from the warehouse."

"123,124,125..."

"Nishimoto count in your head."

Turning his head, Sensei looked at Nishimoto annoyed before turning back to us.

"YES SENSEI."

"Stop yelling." 

Sensei began rubbing his temples before standing up and approaching both me and Oe. Oe's fingers started digging into my arm as she hid behind me more. I watched as he bent over and meeting her eyes Sensei's eyes became soft as he let out a warm smile. 

"Oe, thanks for coming back. I missed you."

Feeling her hands let go of my shoulder she let out a mouse like answer. 

"T-thanks."

Going back to his desk he sat down before pointing to a row of desk in front of him. 

"Sit down." 

Sitting down with Oe, Sensei looked at us before his face switched to a serious expression. 

"Oe, I'll tell you what I told the two others." 

He began explaining who he was while Oe's mouth hanged out opened in surprise. 

"Any questions Oe?"

Watching as Oe raised her hand, I noticed her demeanor switch. Like death itself had walked into the room. 

"Y-yes. Sensei, I have a question." 

"Go ahead."

Staring closer I noticed that she was beginning to shake. With her hands placed on her lapped she stared at them fiddling with at the same time. 

"W-what does it mean when you see a person with black tattoos in your dream."

As she struggled to get the words out, I looked at sensei noticing his face darkened.