The everchanging scenes

Yeah and basically that´s how I got here, in complete and utter darkness… nice and boring. I don´t know for what I´m even waiting for and how long I actually was here. I mean I´m long enough here to speak with you or more… think? You should know that I have no body in here so it doesn´t make things easier and it is in fact really scary. And to the question to whom I´m actually speaking to, me of course. Man I should really stop with this, but when I do that I will probably go insane after some time. So for me you're my "Wilson" good luck with that.

As I was going to get bored to death a strange, white and black light enveloped me. As this strange light fully covered me I saw memories, many memories and all of them were about my life. All the black memories were of course the ones I would consider bad. But when I saw them I realized that these memories weren´t actually that bad.

Of course some were cringe and a bit sad, but nothing I would consider really bad. I mean by the time of my death my parents were together and had a good income. Both of my grandparents were still alive and kicking. I had good friends I could rely onto and decent grades in school. No one would consider my life bad, it was in fact as I said before, the paradise.

My good memories were many and I couldn´t even remember most of them until now. In my 16 years of age I had a really good life with nothing to worry about. I didn´t know what would have happened if the accident didn´t happen, but I don´t think my life would have been considered a failure.

At this moment I was really sad, because I lost something so precious. If I would still have a body I would cry right now like there was no tomorrow. I thought I was done with everything at the time of my death, but apparently I was wrong. To make it even worse after I saw all these memories I could see…me.

Not the me right now but my dead body. I could see how the Firefighters rescued my little sister and recovered it. I watched the faces of my parents change from relieve that my sister was safe to despair and sadness as they saw my body. The despairing cries from my mother were really to much for me to handle. My sister began to cry even more as she fully realized what just happened and buried her face in my fathers embrace as he suffered silently.

I just wanted to go and hug them, say that I´m here and could see everything, but nothing was going trough I couldn´t go near much less speak with them. As they cried loudly and together, than I was doing it alone and without a voice. All the people who saw the despairing family cry over their loss and looked at my dead body which still had a smile on his face couldn't help but shed one or two tears themselves. My guitar teacher which shop was conveniently just on the other side of our house stared at my face with shock. He too could see the small smile on my lips with the blood on the corner of my mouth. He sank to his knees and cried to, after all, I saw him every week for one hour which was a lot of time after seven years.

After that I could see how my class teacher and principle got into my classroom, where you could see tears in the corner of the eyes of my teacher. At the current time it was Tuesday- noon and the lesson was about to start. My teacher was being accompanied by two police officers. They told my class about my death and the circumstances about it.

There were many people who found themselves with tears in their eyes especially my friends. I knew all of them at least six years with a few of them who I would consider my dearest friends. One of my friends who was probably most affected by this was Luca. We knew each other since we were 3 years old and he stared at the front unmoving and with clear shock in his eyes. It was like he was paralysed before he was just going out of the classroom without uttering a single word, there was no one who even stopped him. Everybody in the classroom was send home, because it was very unlikely that anyone could concentrate after all of this.

Scenes like this played out before me none stop. I saw how my family and friends were mourning over my death right after they heard from it. I just wanted to let it stop it hurt to just see it and then it actually did.

But to my regret it changed to a funeral… my funeral. There were a few men who carried a coffin and this coffin was, as I thought, my own. To be honest I was a bit moved on how many people seemed to care about me. There were of course my family and friends, my entire class with teachers and a few other people I knew, like neighbours. I thought they would cremate my body, but it seems that for some reason they chose to burry me like that.

I could see many people crying while my coffin was let down in the earth. I seriously wouldn´t have thought that I was so important to other people and it let me even more regret that I died. I really wanted to hug my sister and parents to let them know that I was still there. But as my coffin began to get buried I could see that the vision became more and more transparent.

I gathered all my willpower and yelled as loud as I could to no avail. I was really disappointed at myself that I couldn´t do anything and it was at this point that something changed