51 ᵥₒₗᵤₘₑ ₅, ₚₐᵣₜ ₂ ₋ ₛᵤbₜₑᵣfᵤgₑ: Her Breakdown.

~7090 words

ROXY MIGURDIA

The bottom dropped out of my stomach as the carriage leapt off the side of the gargantuan branch lying in an inane way on the road that was made out of the carved curved bricks. 

Trees---larger than even the most grandiose cathedrals and palaces rose all around us, their branches crossing over and beneath one another in an incomprehensible network both above and below. 

The sky was clear, a light azure shade. Scattered across this vast expanse, only a handful of white clouds drifted aimlessly, their edges soft and their forms ever-changing. They almost seemed lost in contemplation as they mingled and merged---as if conjuring up a story of their own.

The languid wind drifted through the air, its gentle caress barely stirring the stillness of the day. A radiant orb---the sun, hung overhead, casting its golden glow in every nook and cranny. 

Despite the sun's brilliance, a lingering chill persisted in the air, a reminder of the approaching winters. I closed my eyes and lifted my chi, facing my head upwards towards the sun as I relished every precious ray of warmth that touched my skin. 

The sun's benevolence was a rare gift in these cooler months, and I welcomed it with open arms. Its soothing rays provided a respite from the persistent chill, offering a fleeting taste of summer's memory in the midst of winter's grasp.

As my eyes fluttered open, I noticed the clouds above my head, conjecturing. Two of these formless wisps converged with an uncanny grace. Their consolidation gave birth to something extraordinary. 

At first, I squinted my eyes, harder, putting pressure on both things---my eyes and my brain---my memory, trying to recall what it was. 

The suddenly, like a bolt of blue from the heavens, the unmistakable form of a dragon's head flashed in my mind. The cloud had a missing piece as it joined in with another cloud, granting it the look of a Dragon's maw. 

"Heh..." A giggle tore through my parched throat, followed by a subtle cough. My chest tightened as I coughed and my grip over my staff tightened. 

"Ara, Roxy-chan~ Here, have some water." A voice, familiar, spoke from my side. Despite how much I have heard this exact voice, over and over again, time and time again, it still sent a tremor down my spine, almost as if making me jump back. 

Looking up, to my side, my eyes landed on the woman beside me. The woman who I had been travelling with for all these years, searching for my students'.... no, student's family----Elinalise Dragonroad. She had a seductive smile on her face as she plopped by my side as she handed me a bottle of water. 

Opening it, I quickly drank it. It felt refreshing. As the cool water touched the back of my throat, I felt a tingle of relief, as I tangibly felt it go down my throat. A sense of relief washed over me. Looking back up, at the woman, I expressed my gratitude, slightly bowing my head. "Thank you, Elinalise-san." 

She smiled at me. The sun's bright light flashed at her. Her skin almost felt unreal. It almost seemed like a polished mirror---so flawless and spotless. Despite the piling age, she seemed as if she had just turned into her teens. She truly seemed like an epitome of beauty. From her proportions to her innate beauty and features, she was perfect. 

Oh? There was something viscous on the corner of her lips. "Elinalise-san, there is something on your lips." I spoke up and took out a handkerchief from my bag, trying to give it to her so she can remove it. 

"Oh, that naughty boy~" She spoke with a randy smile, almost ecstatic as she licked the corner of her lip and then held her own body as if she was losing her mind over the taste of it. 

I tilted my head, for a moment, and two. After a few moments, the realisation finally dawned on me like a rising sun during dawn as I observed the man from the back come out from behind the wide piece of furniture from where she had emerged a while ago. 

From his disheveled hair to his shirt that he had on put upside down, from the fumbling gesture of hastily tightening his pants to the heavy beads of sweat clinging to his body that spread a pungent odour in the air told a story of clandestine actions.

Indeed, there was an air of roguery and reckless abandon about her that left no room for doubt. I didn't need to utter a single word; her face spoke volumes, a canvas painted with the vivid colors of her recent escapade. 

Her expression was a tumultuous storm of emotions---lust, lack of fulfillment, lust, the urge to bed another man, lust and more lust. 

It was as if she waited in the anticipation, waiting on the precipice of divulging the salacious details of her "conquest". Her eyes, alive with a wicked gleam, held a tale of a time filled with temptation and desire, a tale she seemed all too eager to share, a tale I was all too eager not to listen, not all over again. 

"You know, Roxy, he was such a mo---"

The steady stream of her words, came to an abrupt halt, coinciding perfectly with the jarring screech of the carriage's brakes---horse's hooves skidding against the surface of the road. The sudden deceleration made me instinctively turn my gaze away from her. 

Looking down, I caught the sight of a man, then a woman, and another woman. 

A sudden rush of warmth enveloped my heart, like a long-forgotten ember reigniting in the depths of my soul. 

Memories from the past, like silent phantoms, stirred from their slumber, slowly crawling back into the forefront of my consciousness. They returned not as solitary fragments but as a solid congregation, weaving together the story of a significant portion of my life----2 good years of my life.

Yet, with this resurgence came a complex mix of emotions—an unease and foreboding that walked hand in hand with the profound joy of recollecting those moments and this reunion lingering with a haunting clarity.

While the initial shock wasn't over, I saw two little girls peek their heads behind the two women. 

"Zenith!" Elinalise suddenly jumped from the carriage and launched her body towards the mother of my students----Rudeus and Julian---Zenith Greyrat. She was even more beautiful than the last time I had seen her. Maybe it was the growing age that had added a tinge of maturity to her features, but her features looked sharp. However, her gaze, not so much. 

Her once vibrant, full of life eyes almost seemed dull now, as if they had lost a purpose. She hugged Elinalise back and her lips twitched up in a smile. She was smiling. Yet, her eyes seemed to peer in a perpetual state of nothingness. She was smiling but it seemed like someone was pulling her lips up into that curve. 

Elinalise finally peeled away from Miss Zenith and looked at the man, Mr. Paul. 

"Tch...."

"Tch...." 

Both of them clicked their tongues and looked away. However, Miss Zenith followed that with a chop to both of their heads. 

Well, at least she hasn't lost it all. 

I knew about her state from the letter Miss Elinalise received. She was alive and was delivered here by a group of adventurers who saved her from the Teleportation Labyrinth in Begaritt Continent.

However, while she alive, her mind was in an almost vegetative state. She could think and form words, but she couldn't express. She couldn't laugh or cry despite making a whimpering or ecstatic sound.

"Good to see you again, Roxy." Paul said as he greeted me. 

"It certainly is." I replied. 

After that, I greeted Lilia as well. She was doing fairly well for herself. She was teleported to Shirone Kingdom where the prince, Pax imprisoned her. Much to my own surprise, Rudeus saved her. I wonder if one day someone would save me as well when I am trapped in a dungeon...

Ugh, why am I thinking of such things at a time like this!? Get your mind out of your fantasies, Roxy! 

"It has been such a long time, Miss Roxy, I hope you have a good stay here." Lilia finally concluded our small talk and gave me a subtle bow. I heard she had married Mr. Paul. I wonder why she is still tending and acting as a maid. 

Well, I guess, it is her own personal choice at the end of the day. 

I looked over her shoulder and saw the two little girls. Both had green eyes---an exact shade of what Rudy had. However, one of them had golden blonde hair while the other had maroon---burgundy hair. 

Lilia looked back and smiled, "The one on the left is Master Paul and Zenith's daughter, Miss Norn Greyrat. And the one on the right is my daughter, Aisha." 

She didn't add the Greyrat name to her own daughter. I was quite surprised at how she was handling herself and her daughter, since I knew from Julian when we were diving in the labyrinth that he was about to have two siblings and how Lilia was pregnant with Paul's kid. 

There was a plethora of questions in my mind, a turbulent storm of mixed feelings, however, I bit my tongue and refrained from doing so. It was highly possible that it was a sensitive topic for them, and it wasn't my place to meddle. After all, I know my boundaries. 

I walked over to them. Aisha was a tad taller than Norn, however, Norn had a striking resemblance to Julian and in extension to their mother. She even had the same hair as him. "Hello there, Norn and Aisha." I greeted both of them.

Norn had a hesitant look on her face, and she inched closer to her mother, her fingers gently tugging at Zenith's dress. "H-Hello, nice to meet you." 

I smiled awkwardly in response. Maybe she wasn't used to interacting with people. Reminded me of Rudy when he used to hesitate to go out or starting a conversation with people every time Julian dragged him out of the house. It was a fun time, seeing both brothers seemingly fighting all the time but taking care of each other. 

While Rudy used to do it openly, Julian always hid his intentions, but it was no doubt he was a caring brother as well. I wonder if he was alive, how would he be. What would be the extent of his talent? Both brothers were lazy and didn't put in many efforts, but both could reach God Class. Well, Rudy still can. 

I would've said 'I wish he was alive', but there was no use of crying over spilt milk. 

As I turned my head away from Norn, I noticed Aisha looking at me with stars in her eyes, "Are you my brother's teacher? THAT Miss Roxy?" She asked, visible joy on her face. 

I scratched my cheek, skittishly, "Ehm, yes, I am. How do you know about me, Aisha?" I asked in a lowered tone as Elinalise and Tallhand met with other members of the Greyrat household. It was already quite surprising for me how she knew that I was her brothers' master. 

"Well, my brother used to tell me about you. Did you go into the labyrinth as well? Did you fight a drago--" 

"Aisha! Brother said it is a secret." Norn almost squealed at her as the excited Aisha put her tiny hands on her mouth, shutting her mouth. "I will tell him once he comes back." Norn continued with a delightful expression. 

"Hey. No fair. I didn't even say it. Only a small part slipped out....." Her voice trailed off, her expression extremely sullen. 

Wait, wait.... huh? What is this all about? Do they.....

I looked up and saw Paul looking the other way, biting the side of his lip, while Lilia had an emotionless despite the tears welling up in her eyes. 

They haven't told the little ones about his death. 

This is so horrible. 

What will happen to them once they learn of it. From what I can see they're obviously more attached to Julian than Rudeus. Elinalise and Talhand had a pitiful look in their eyes as they looked at the little girls, arguing about how they'd snitch on each other once he is back. 

However, the most surprising thing about this whole ordeal was Zenith. Despite how bleak and gray the atmosphere was, she remained still and unfazed. Of course, she had a condition but there were minute changes in her with everything. However, as everyone had either blubbering look or a condoling and sympathetic look on their face, she stayed as if she was tired of putting up a front. 

I wonder what happened. 

Shortly after meeting, Paul directed us towards a rather expensive looking tavern. It was a tall building with a wide stature and unlike the other inns or taverns, it wasn't made out of simple bricks or entirely of wood. Instead, it was made out of a rather polished congregation of perfectly carved slabs.

The slabs were lustrous enough to reflect the sunlight off the walls and direct it into my eyes which made me look away, shift my position and then look at it again. It almost felt surreal seeing such a beautiful building in the [Adventuring District] of Milishon.

Paul apologised a few times since he couldn't take us to a better place due to demons being banned from entering those grounds, but it was understandable. I do not hate humans nor blame them for their hate or prejudice towards us. Even though the act of one demon shouldn't be reflected on all the others.....

"It is beautiful, isn't it?" Elinalise spoke, standing between me and Zenith.

"Yes, very much. I have never seen an establishment this fine." I replied, still immersed the fine architecture. It almost seemed out of this world. 

As we walked in, the exterior seemed to almost melt away from the corner of my consciousness due to how elegant and even more beautiful the interior was. As soon as we entered, we were met with two people stationed at the side of each door, as they bowed and welcomed us in.

The most eye-catching thing as soon as we entered was the sigil. A huge shield as background on which a teal coloured sword buried in its base, while seven stars formed a thin crescent around it. The sword....hmmmm.... didn't Julian have a sword of that colour as well? Well never mind, it had the same colour but the not in this form.

After that, the multiple paintings that hung on the wall that didn't make any sense. I walked up to one of them. Even after a few minutes, I couldn't make any sense of it. "None of us understand it too but the partner of the owner calls it Abstract Art." Lilia explained as she stood by my side, hands tucked in front of her.

"What is this place's name? And who is its owner? I have never seen such shiny slabs used in buildings." I asked, curious as to who was the creator of all this.

"This is a modern tavern named "Sevenstar" and the owner is someone shady, it seems like." She replied in a vague tone. 

"Shady?"

"Well, no one know who he is. Just that one day he came to Milishon, struck a deal with the Latreias who helped him get some land in this district. After that the owner's partner who is a girl came with a huge assortment of things like the shiny marble, the paintings and the musical instruments. The instruments especially are really famous."

To say I was surprised by all of this would be an understatement. Such sudden revolution was unheard of.

"The instrument is called piano." Lilia continued. "Since the piano is not for sale, the owner has set demand for hefty prices for a performance. And since piano has made a name in Asura among nobles, here as well, people pay a lot of gold for just one night of performance. The owner certainly is a business genius." She explained everything in one fell swoop.

"That is so impressive." I replied, my excitement leaking from my voice. It certainly has been a long time since I have been impressed like this. I never thought that after teaching Julian and Rudeus, anyone else would be able to impress me to this extent.

"It is. Although, since the Latreias helped him in getting the legal work regarding the land, every commodity is free for them for their entire life." Lilia finished her explanation with a proud look. That would explain why Paul-san brought us into such an expensive place.

"By the way, Miss Lilia, how much does a performance cost?" I asked, a bit curious if I could afford it.

"Hmm," she placed her index finger on her lip, as if recollecting her thoughts, "last time I heard about it, it was around 10 gold coins for an hour." 

HAAAAH!? My shoulders instantly slumped down. This is way out of my league. But is it worth it? Why would anyone willingly spend 10 gold coins for an hour of some new instrument.

"The music is r-really good. You should try listening to it." 

Looking back, I saw Norn standing behind me, talking in a rather reserved and embarrassed way. She sure was cute. "Sure, can you lead the way?" 

"Yes!" She replied and motioned for me to follow her. As she walked in front of me, her slightly long hair moved up and down and for a moment a silhouette overlapped her. Not It wasn't Zenith but someone who was closely related to her. The image flashed in my brain, burning it there before disappearing again.

Haaaaah....I might be overthinking things.

(***) 

I take it back. Even if I had a low budget, as long as I saved enough money, I would've listened to this once in my life. It wasn't just the tone of the music. It almost felt like someone was singing and the emotions from the melody almost felt tangible. Some of the women had teary eyes listening to it. 

Meanwhile Aisha and Norn were sitting side-by-side, eyes wide and gleaming. 

Norn seemed quite mature. Every time Aisha tried to do something, Norn always retaliated in an equal way but used to stop midway and took a calm breath before not doing the same act to her as she clutched on to a pendant around her neck. 

I feel bad for those two. 

I hope they can move on happily that their brother is no more once they finally know about the bitter truth. 

Because I know, he was like this....

....it really is hard to forget a person like him. 

I had a hard time too. But probably time healed half of it, and half somehow vanished into obscurity of my lack of comprehension that was a maelstrom of a plethora of things, consisting of my own feelings and the confusion that came with it.

However, there is something bothering me. Is that maid-girl who has been glaring at me for some while a demon? 

JULIAN GREYRAT

The mission was over. We successfully ended up not only picking up the scales but killed a lot of Drakes as well. I received my portion of the money and immediately proceeded to leave for Ranoa. 

Nanahoshi wanted to talk about something, urgently.

Not sure what it was that prompted her to send me a message via the emergency link I had given to her. Well, I will know once I reach there.

As for Sara, I went with her after she invited me for a spree of shopping, but it was at that moment that I received the message from Nanahoshi. Therefore, I had to leave and end the "date" or whatever with her. She said she wanted to say something important later on and made me promise to meet her here again since Counter Arrow would be staying here for a long time.

Well anyways, I finally reached [The Magical City of Sharia] located in the [Ranoa Kingdom]

It was still winters when I arrived here. 

It is the largest country in the Northern Lands of the Central Continent. Though it's the largest, the current national power is around the same level as [Shirone Kingdom]. However, it is intimately allied with [Neris] and [Basherant] kingdoms by way of the Magic Guild.

If you put the combined power of all three countries together, even though they are located in the pitiable northern lands, they can be considered to be the world's hidden fourth strongest power.

Ranoa, Basherant and Neris. Together, these three countries make up the power known as [Magic Triumvirate].

Why is it the 『Magic』 Triumvirate? Is it because the Magic Guild Headquarters is located here?

That's one reason. However, the best reason is that these three countries lay a great emphasis on the study and further research of the magical arts. Without regards for expense, the most magically talented and capable people are gathered with the aim of advancing magical knowledge.

Which means I don't really have much of a place here. 

Anyways, this point alone was why there was an alliance between these countries. And so, this big city came to be on the edges of each nation's shared border.

The city of magic 『Sharia』

This city boasts the 『Ranoa Magic Academy』 『Magic Guild Headquarters』 『Neris Magical Tool Atelier』, and into these three locations, everything there is to know about magic was condensed and stored.

The heart of the 　『Magic Triumvirate』

It wouldn't be wrong to call it the most prosperous city. When the Magic City Sharia is seen from above---at the center there is the Magic guild, constructed with the latest in magic-proof bricking, and towards the East is the student town centered around the Magic Academy.

If looked at with a discerning eye, certain aspects of Milishon seem to have been used as a reference for this city's design.

Speaking of Milishon, I opened an extension of not only restaurant but hotel as well in Milishon. I had grandma take care of the legal work since she somehow volunteered to do anything I asked her of. The profits gained from that hotel solely go towards Zenith---in extension my family. From the past few years, I have made a lot of money without sharing a single penny with them.

I raised Eva's salary too, given how devoted she has been in sending letters about mom's health.  As long as she remained devoted, she was bound to lead a happy life. It's not like I was going to grant her freedom even after she paid back the debt.

Norn seems to be doing good as well and said she avoided fights with Aisha 7 times this past month. I can already guess from her successful attempts that how many times they actually fought. However, since she's trying to behave, she often sends demands like a few trivial things. Recently, she asked me to learn to play piano. 

Apparently, she likes the piano melody in my restaurant. I think I should take her there once and play it myself once I finally reveal to them that I am alive. 

Anyways, I finally arrived at the Magic University. 

As I approached the Ranoa Magic Academy, the enormity of its campus unfolded before me like a grand tapestry of architectural marvels. The entire expanse was a symphony of bricks, each building a unique composition of style and substance.

The rugged path, with its ridges worn by countless footsteps, stretched before me.

My eyes fixated on the central edifice, a colossal structure that defied the norms. From a distance, it exuded an aura reminiscent of a medieval fortress, with towering walls that seemed impervious to the passage of time.

It's as though the very stones themselves whisper tales of ancient magic and wisdom.

I walked over to the guards and showed them my Adventurer's Card, asking for a convocation with the principle. After they took it and went inside, I stayed there for a short while. After a while they came back and guided me in. 

Straight ahead of me was the statue of the Academy Founder. Lining both sides of the road, there were trees covered in a heavy blanket of snow.

If spring were to come, would Sakura bloom here? I doubt that this world even has Sakura trees. At least, I haven't come across such tree until now.  Towering 3 meters higher than the largest of the withered trees here, was a brick wall.

I activated my eyes as I noticed the material used. Magic proof bricks. As the name implies, it is a brick that has a high tolerance for magical power. It seems that it would be able to withstand an attack by certain large-scale attack magics.

I wonder how much tolerance there is though.

It might be able to withstand my spell but not Rudy's. After all, Emperor Ranked Magicians are deemed as a Country Level Threat for a reason. A single saint magician is said to overwhelm hundreds of soldiers. And Rudy was capable enough to reach Emperor in 2 elements. That alone was trauma inducing if you were an ordinary person in the opposing army. 

I heard that the Magic Guild has a monopoly on manufacturing and sales regarding these bricks. In Asura Kingdom, it's so expensive to get that it's only being used in the Castle town. I didn't even see any in the Dragon King Country or Milis for that matter.

However, it's quite prevalent in the lands of the Magic Triumvirate. Though the manufacturing process is strictly confidential, the raw material costs might not be that high. Coming through the brick passage, the road opens up into a large plaza. The road forked into three paths from here.

At the center is the statue of a woman wearing a robe. 

『Ranoa Magic Academy, First Principal - Frau Claudia. Fifty-Sixth Generational Head of the Magic Guild.』.

Such was written on a plate affixed to the statue. It seemsed this is the statue of the first principal. The walls of brick tapered off here. On the road in front of us, a huge group of school buildings looked like a fortress. It seems I can only fit about 6 buildings in my scope of vision.

Suddenly, from a place near the side of the school building that looked like an activities field, a large flame erupted into the air. Magic class, I reckon. 

To the left, there are a number of red-roofed buildings. This was also a gargantuan building, with many windows, and an attached veranda. 

Now then. The blue roofs are on the right, and the red roofs are on the left.

Not sure where to go, I went to the right. Why? The colour just called out to me. 

As I reached out to the receptionist at the reception table, I told her about myself, and she brought me in to the office of the principal. Since there was no one, I got the chance to meet him almost immediately after arriving here. 

Once I walked inside, I was directed towards a seat. The sofa was rather hard, and there was minimal furnishing. However, as a place for meeting with adventurers, it's actually fitting. No complaints here. 

After around 10 minutes, the Vice Principal Jinas appeared. For not having an appointment, I was still met promptly. With a receding hairline, he seemed like a nervous man in the prime of his life. He would've looked a bit more imposing if it wasn't for the hairline. 

He wore about himself a deep blue robe. Normally an indicative of a water magic user. But looks can be deceiving. 

"Pleased to meet you for the first time, I am Julian." I greeted him in the standard Japanese way, quickly bowing my head.

Jinas, in whatever form of good spirit, offered me a seat. "Never did I think you would come here so soon."

"Pardon?" I raised a brow. 

"Well, you see, there was a certain student who talked about you. She said an adventurer might make a name in the near future and would come to this university if he felt like it. I didn't think much of it but the recent news of a white-haired boy clearing A Ranked missions by himself made my belief ironclad on what she said. It's an honour to have you here, in the flesh." 

"Uh, thanks. Although the rumours are just an exaggeration. It's nothing as grandiose. People have a habit of spreading rumours tinged with lies." I shrugged. I hope he doesn't bring up THAT nickname. It is embarrassing, almost mortifying to say it out loud.

"Hoho, you don't have to be so modest. They compare your talent to that of the Blazing Sword. Although, comparing you to that heretic would not be quite pleasing." He replied, almost apologetic. Rest assured; I am no way near offended to get compared to my own self. 

"Well, I am here to meet Sevenstar. I hope it is not a problem." 

"Of course, not but...." his voice trailed off and a smile flashed across his face. A business-like smile. A smile I had gotten used to in this world and had seen far too many times. A smile indicative of landing a good deal. ".....would you perhaps be interested in doing us a favour?"

Favour? I thought he was going to ask something in equivalent exchange for letting an outsider into campus grounds. "I am all ears." 

"Well, would you consider enrolling in the academy? As a special student of course. You just need to research on a single subject of your choice and if it is ground breaking, you have to transfer the rights of the research to us. In exchange, we can land you in the uppermost stratum of the Magician's Guild and also provide you with free resources over the tenure of your stay here. Does that sound good to you?"

Well, I was planning on enrolling here anyways. With the additional benefits, it was certainly a good deal. Especially, if the research won't have my name on it. I don't want to become the center of attention like that. "I will consider it. Although I am interested." I replied and after those words, I departed, looking for Nanahoshi.

(***)

I reached out for the door behind where Nanahoshi was. I tried knocking on the door, but my hand stopped just before I did so. Instead of opening the door, I reached out directly for the handle and clicked it, prompting it open. 

She hadn't locked it. The room was open, vulnerable. 

As I walked in, I saw her. She was lying on her bed, her face twisted in agony despite how much the emotions that usually lined her face were absent. Her hair was haphazardly disheveled, sprawling all over her face.

She wasn't moving. I felt my eyes widen but then noticed the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest, punctuated by an occasional hiccup.

As I opened the door more, the sound of glass being dragged against the rough floor filled the room. Looking down, I saw a broken bottle of wine, its fermented, fruity aroma filling the air. Looking around the room, I saw torn books sprawled all over. 

Bending down, I picked one of the sheets of paper and looked over it. She had written this herself and later tore them into pieces and scattered them. The shelves were pulled over, the contents of jars all over the place.

Her porcelain mask was on the ground, fragmented.  Looking over in her direction, I saw multiple scratch on face as well as the wall. The wall was indented at a few places. 

Seems like while beating on the wall with metal pole, she staggered and tripped over the contents of the jar she threw everywhere.

Her hands were balled into fists and from the gaps between her fingers, I saw many strands of black hair. Even in her sleep, all of her muscles were stiffening, like she was saving up all of her power to start raging about at any time.

Suddenly her eyes fluttered open. "Julian?" 

"No. Shito." I replied. (Shito is the angel of death in Japanese culture)

I was half-expecting a scoff, but a relieved smile creeped up on her face. "It's better to die than just rot in a place like this. A place where I don't belong."

The color of her face was pure white, her eyes were blank and had a shadow over them, her lips had lost their color, and they were dried up and cracked. This was the face that someone made during a considerably severe emotional breakdown. She might try to kill herself.

"You knew from the start, didn't you?" She spoke again, her eyes boring into mine as she still laid feebly, vulnerably on the bed. "You gave me so much false hope." 

"So, Orsted finally told you?" I replied. It was necessary to give her enough motivation to not kill herself, so I had to spend all this time with her. That was the plan, initially. However, did Orsted tell her the reality that no matter how much she tries, she can't go back because I had changed the timeline too much? 

"So what if he told me? Why did you deceive me all this time?" She had a sheer look of betrayal in her voice as she managed to sit up, her thin arms barely supporting her frame. "Will you deny that you did not deceive me, and you didn't know about Orsted's plan or any of this reality?" 

  "No, I deceived you. Constantly. For the past 3 years. Your presence in this world is needed in the distant future." I confessed. There was no point in lying. 

She scoffed, "You know what's funny? Orsted told me to enjoy myself. Find some meaning here. Meaning? In this world?" She continued to talk as I sat beside her. She immediately distanced herself from me, tears lining the corner of her eyes. 

"Calm down---" 

"No, no, Julian, you don't understand. He said I never went home. I will die here. Here. In this world. A world where I have no one to call my own...." 

Her shoulders trembled.  Slowly, she turned her face towards me. He face wrinkled, once again. Tears collected on her swollen eyes. "I don't want to die. Not like this."

Like a dam busting, tears come pouring down.

"I don't want to die here! I don't want to die in this weird world! Why? Why? It's too weird! Hey, do you know? I didn't change at all for these damned 4 years! I don't grow taller, and my hair doesn't grow longer! I get hungry, I poop, but my nails never grow. I don't even get perio---"

Before she could talk anymore, I pressed my lips against hers, the damp and salty sensation suddenly flooding my dry lips. Her burdened eyes shot wide open, her lips trembling as I pressed her lower lip harder between my own. 

She hiccupped in her throat and held the sides of my sleeves, crying harder than before but the resistance and urge to end her life slowly diminished and whittled down. Parting away from her, I looked her in the eyes. 

"You talk too much. Not like you were going to grow any longer." I spoke, my face still in front of her as I looked in her eyes, her breath fanning the strands of hair that had fallen on my face. 

"Why did you do it?" She asked, the previous look of betrayal in her eyes vanishing. 

"Who knows." I replied. 

"Are you deceiving me again?" 

"Probably." 

"Do you regret doing it just for the sake of deceiving me?" 

"No." 

"Will you do it with anyone if you're getting what you want?" 

"No."

Her lips pursed; the previous cracked lips now moistened. She tilted her head and came closer, her lips parted as our noses collided. "Ouch...." 

"You can't do a single thing right, can you." 

"H-Hey! It was my first time. Also, why are you being so sardonic after forcing yourself on me?" She spoke, wiping the tears that still lined her face as she looked at me from the corner of her eyes. "I....ugh, damn it all." 

Without any precautions she kissed me again, despite the fact that she clashed her nose with me but chose to ignore the pain. I stayed where I was, looking down at her. Her eyes were closed as she hungrily stuck on to my upper lip before tilting her head in the opposite direction and wildly lashing at the lower lip. 

The kiss was wet and sloppy, her tongue tasting like... berries? Oh yeah, she had wine. I wanted to push her away, but this body was betraying me. Instead of pushing her away I pulled her closer, deepening the kiss. 

What am I supposed to feel here? Is this subtle rise in pulse an indication of something? Or is it the hormone activation triggered by my puberty? 

In a human, acts like kissing triggers your brain to release a cocktail of chemicals that leave you feeling good by igniting the pleasure centers of the brain---oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin, which can make you feel euphoric and encourage feelings of affection and bonding.

But then again, is it a genuine urge to bond or just a fleeting feeling? 

She pulled back, her gaze searching mine for any hint of emotion. However, all I could offer was a slight incline of my head, a gesture that seemed to both agree to and reject her surrender. 

She almost frowned at my lack of response, as if she had expected me to act differently, to leap up with joy and whisper sweet nothings in her ear, even after all these years of being around me. But I was motionless because of another reason.

Her confused expression soon softened into acceptance, and she lightly touched my cheek, her fingers warm against my skin. I could feel her presence, the desire radiating off her in a tangible form. I tried to close my eyes and breath her in, letting her fill up each part of me until I was no longer my own.

She smelled a faint scent of lily mixed in with alcohol. 

She leaned down and kissed me again, slower this time. I could feel her heart beating, the soft rhythm matching my own as we moved together in one perfect, unhurried motion. My eyes were openly looking at her as she opened them too, as I felt like I was looking into a mirror, the reflection of my own pale-blue eyes being shown back to me in that moment. 

Her lips were soft and warm, her body pressing close to his as if she never wanted to let go.

I thought I had felt a kiss before. But it's different than the time I kissed Kei. What's missing? What's extra here? Is this the inherent lustfulness of the Greyrat bloodline? 

She pulled away slowly, her gaze still searching mine. She smiled for a moment, then two, her eyes misting with emotion as she nodded in an understanding. 

What understanding? 

Dunno. 

She finally peeled herself away from me and looked the other way. She wasn't matching my gaze. 

Well, I guess I shouldn't make things awkward here. I'll take my leave. It doesn't seem like she'd be attempting anything of that sort again. I slowly stood up from the bed and she plopped back on the bed. I didn't look back. I simply lowered my back and picked up the pieces of paper that were still manageable and not completely lost. 

Using Wind Magic, I scooped the shards of glass and cleaned the floor off the wine and other things stains and smell using hot water and air. Once everything was clean, I threw the remnants into a plastic bag and put it in the corner of the room. 

"Throw the garbage in the bin in the morning. I am going back." I spoke up, still not looking at her. I opened the door and stepped out of it, almost. 

"Julian...." Her voice sounded meek. 

"Hm?" I looked back, finally. She was curled up in the bed, facing the other way as she hugged her knees. Her voice was muffled due to her burying her face. "Stay over, for the night, please." Probably the sudden spur of the moment, but I stepped back, and locked the door. Once I was back in, I made my way to the couch. 

"Not there. Sleep with me..." Her voice completely died out towards the end. 

Well, it was quite cold so I guess I should sleep over there. 

"Alright." I replied and jumped on the bed. "Its comfortable." I commented. 

"Mhmm...." She was still hugging her knees and her face was in the opposite direction. I laid straight, my eyes on the plain, wooden ceiling. The only voice in the room was that of the blizzard blowing outside, the subtle creak of the ceiling and the juddering window as it struggled to bear with the onslaught of the frigid demon outside.

My hair spilled over my eyes. Using my fingers, I combed them back. 

"I am cold." 

"Do you have another blanket in the closets?" 

"No." 

"Do you have something else that you can wrap yourself in?" 

"No." 

"Oh? I can light some fire in the chim---"

"Just scoot a little closer. I heard touching your bodies can lend some heat....."

"Uh, ok." She wasn't wrong. I scooted a bit closer as she slowly pushed her body back and touched her back with my chest. 

"Better now." She murmured. 

I looked at her from behind for a long moment, without thinking anything. Or did I? 

After a long pause of silence, I slipped one hand under her head and the threw the other one over her, pulling her close until her entire back was touching me. Her body shuddered for a moment before relaxing. She slipped one of her legs between mine, tangling them. "Thanks." 

What was the thanks for? 

I was too tired to think. The barrier around me----us----flickered out of life and my eyes grew heavy. My face bent down and landed on her hair....her neck as I fell into the deep embrace of sleep. 

She was warm and cozy.

And my mana was almost gone. I needed some rest.