Mirror

Elijah...

Now I know what Scarlett meant when she wrote that she couldn't recognize me sometimes. I was trying so hard to please everyone that I was becoming what I wasn't. Everyone could see it, just not me.

I realize Liam is stiill here in the office.

"I uh Thank you man." I say trying to avoid his gaze. But he asks me finally.

"What is it Elijah? Why so sudden curiosity about your own office?" His eyes are trapping me. Not letting me slip from this one.

"What? Tell me. May be I can help you." he further adds prompting me to say something.

"Its not that actually. I uhnmm," I stand up from my chair and walk to the window. "I don't know how to say this but uhnmm I have recently come to know that Scarlett thought that I used to act like someone else, whenever in the environment of my work. She thought that I wasn't made for this job. And now that I have talked to you and learned your observation, I guess I have known this all along. And this might be the reason why I was trying to impress everyone so hard, because deep down I never felt good enough to be a banker in the first place." A sigh escapes my lips as I finish.

I don't have to look back to know that he is taking a deep breath before saying something. "I know. Scarlett and I always thought that you were forcing yourself. I am not saying that work always brings joy. Trust me, sometimes I just really want to chop our boss's(Wilson) head off. But what I am trying to tell you is that you shouldn't even have to try so hard. Give it some thought. I am sure you will know what to do." I look back and he gives me a reassuring smile. Sitting beside him on the other chair, I finally tell him the thought that's been scaring me since I read Scar's letter.

"I feel like a failure man. I mean there isn't one thing in this world that I can do right. I couldn't keep Scar happy because I was too deep into my own mess. I couldn't even save her. May be if she wouldn't have met me, none of this would have happened. I am a bloody failure Liam. And you all knew it except me." putting my head on the table, I let those tears get out of me again.

"No! You are not. And you better not say it otherwise too. I have seen the way she looked at you. She loved you Elijah and she still does from wherever she is right now. You were trying so hard because you wanted to give her a good life and you did. You made her the most happy. Ever since I have known you guys, I have known this fact too. She is gone. You can't change it. Trust me when I say this, she would have done everything in her power to stay if she had a choice. Don't do this to yourself and to her. You kept her happy all this time because you were happy. Keep loving her and to do that you have to keep loving yourself. Don't worry man. It will take time. But eventually you will be okay. Times will be okay. hnmmm?" He keeps a hand on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze.

"I don't know man. I am lost. I really am. And I feel like, I will be forever lost without her. She was the one who kept me sane. How am I supposed to do it without her?" I mutter in between my sobs.

"You can and you will Elijah. If you can't trust yourself right now, then trust me. You will. And trust me when I say this too, that she is gonna be there for you on every step. Your heart will tell you man. It will. Just give it some time, Okay? Don't rush yourself." He asks and I nod simply. Not in the condition to form any relevant sentences. "You should go home Elijah. Rest a bit. Let your mind calm. I will handle it all here."

"I can't Liam. There is a reason that I am back at office so soon. The house is haunting me. Every corner is a bundle of memories that unfolds itself just by me looking at it. I can't."

"Hnmm... Do you want to come to my house? Do you want me to come with you? Because I really don't think that you staying at the office is a good idea at all right now. I will come with you if you want." He asks again in a voice dripping with concern. I am so grateful for him. Thank God for sending him in my life.

"I think I will go visit Evelyn for a while and probably stay at her's too. Don't worry I will be fine." I say with reassuring tone.

"Okay if you say so. But you better be at hers when I call her. I am warning you man. I can still punch you good. No wandering please Elijah. I will visit you later."

"Aye Sir." And we both laugh for a moment before I realize, I don't even know how to laugh anymore.

He sees the sadness seeping back into me and pulls me into a hug again.

"It will be okay man. Soon. I promise." He says trying to console me.

"I hope so man. I really hope so."

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I am about to ring the doorbell for the third time when finally footsteps are heard.

"I said leave the milk bottles on the door. Geez! people these day ayuh. Oh! Hey Eli! How are you?" She tries her best to hide the surprise glinting in her eyes. Getting aside, she let's me in.

"I am okay. Uhnmm Is it alright if I stay here for today? I don't really feel like going home." I say putting my keys in the bowl.

"Oh yeah sure. Stay as long as need Eli." I mutter a thanks and make my way towards the guest room, not wanting to go through her questions, I myself don't have an answer to. Neville came after a while, lent me some of his clothes for the night and informed me about the dinner at seven.

I was walking down the stairs, when I heard Eve whisper-yelling from the dining area. Neville's couldn't be heard anywhere so I assumed he was not a part of the conversation. When I finally heard her words, it made me stop in my tracks.

"I understand that he is your only friend you can go to for advise, but you have to understand that this might not be a good time for him. I know you have been always been there for him but do you think he will help you right now? I don't know. Why don't you come over and talk to him tomorrow? We'll see what he says. May be he will understand your problem." It was the moment when my curiosity got the best of me and I finally made myself known. Eve turned and started blabbering into the phone,"unmm ohkay! yeah see you soon. Give my love to your kids. Okay Bye." "Ahh you are just in time Eli, dinner is almost ready." Putting a hand near her cheek she fake whispered to me,"Nev's cooking. Beware little brother." And then almost screamed towards the kitchen,"Who knows what you are putting yourself up for, when his cooking is involved." Neville gave an irritated groan from the kitchen and we two just chuckled a bit.

Suddenly, I asked, remembering her earlier words,"So... Who was it that you were talking to? Liam?"

"What? No! Why would you think that? It was uh actually aah a school no a college yes, it was a college friend of mine. She just needed help with something." She is lying. It's clear from her stammering and fidgeting. The way she refuses to make ye contact with me. And something in my gut tells me that it was indeed Liam. I don't have much friends, especially ones that are in contact with my family. It is sure that they were talking about me. Something is going on and my sixth sense says that it will unfold itself.

We are in the middle of our dinner, when Evelyne starts speaking suddenly, "So Eli, I wanted to talk to you about something. Why don't you just stay with us for awhile?"

"Why?" I stand up and she panics. Starts talking faster and faster

"No reason. We just don't want you stay alone. You said you needed time alone and I gave you that Eli. Because I understand where you are coming from. But you have to understand that we are worried too. Please, Just for this once, don't argue me on this. Please." She almost begs me. My first reaction is to call it all rubbish, grab the keys and be on my way.. But when I see her glistening eyes. I just couldn't. She is always been there for me.Even when our parents couldn't be. I couldn't do this to her. Taking my seat back at the dinning table.

"Okay! Fine. I will be here. I'll just go to office and be right back here."

"No! Eli. No office please. Give time to yourself for now. Please." I have no idea how this will work or if it will work at all. But I can't take her hope away. So I agree with whatever it is that she thinks can help me.

Honestly speaking, I have no idea about anything. It's weird how messed up I feel right now. But then I look up at the sky and wonder about that bigger labyrinth, whose center still needs to be found, to even begin with the journey out.. There has to be a way out of mine. And I am going to find it.

One day perhaps.

Evelyn...

Once I make sure that Eli is in the guest room and his door is locked, I run towards mine and Neville's room quickly shutting the door and pulling out my phone, I call a certain person.

Meanwhile Neville looks up from his file and asks me,"Did he hear it?"

"I don't know. I hope so. He was asking questions after all."

"What's the next plan?"

"I don't know that either. I have to ask him." The ringing stops and a hello comes out of the phone.

"Okay. So I have done what you asked me to. I am sure he heard me. What's the next plan?"

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