Chapter 1: She With The Shit

I'm laying in bed out of breath as my faceless partner fucked me to oblivion. I can feel their breath excite my skin: making the hair on my arm stand up, my nipples hardened and body quiver as I allow them to remain between my legs and rest on top of me.

"Damn, you're perfect", they mumble in my ear as I feel their hand entice my sex. "don't stop" I uttered as my high lessened. "then say my name," they command in a low seductive voice that both soothed and reactivated my body. "Phoenix" I replied subconsciously. As the name left my lips, my faceless partner's face gained clarity. It was my best friend.

Wait, WTF! -- THUD!

"Gotdamnit", I yelled as I got up from the floor. I shook my head to write off the dream of my me and my best friend fucking, well her fucking me anyways. Despite it being just a dream, my body still had remnants of the aftermath. I felt my wetness begin to slide down my inner thighs; so I hopped in the shower to wash off the shame of what could never be.

As I get myself together, let me introduce myself --

The name is Ashlyn Winters - but I prefer to just go by Winters. I'm 17 years old. A senior in high school and closeted. Yes - closeted. I mean, I've always been attracted to girls. Scratch that -- correction: a girl, one in particular: Phoenix McHall. I'm black, 5"1' with an athletic build. All in all, I'm a tomboy. I've managed to stay under the radar and avoid dating up until this point; guys shoot - I dodge. Girls shoot - I ponder, then dodge. A lot of this attention is due to there being a running bet on who I will let take my virginity. Not that I am holding onto it for a spiritual/religious reason, it's just no one is worth fucking nowadays. But I digress, let's continue...

"MA! I'm headed out. Love you!" I yelled as I grabbed my bag and keys by the door. "See ya later, sweetie! I love you too!" mom replied.---I walk into school and see Phoenix standing by my locker. I instantly got reminded of the dream that resulted in me making contact with my floor this morning. I walk up trying to subdue any awkwardness.

"Yo, Winters. What's up. You got the answers to Mr. Flores chemistry homework?" she asked as I avoided eye contact by opening my locker. "Yeah, I got you," I replied. "Yo, I gotta pass this class --", she proceeded to talk and all awhile, I found myself checking her out.

She too was a tomboy, who stood at 5"8', and had flawless skin that housed the softest looking plump lips and while others would think her brown eye color was monotonous, they matched her skin tone perfectly. As my eyes continued to examine her presence, they fell to her chest --"Earth to Cole. Did you hear me?" Phoenix questioned. I chuckled to play it off and replied "yo, you got this Nix, just go and do your breast -- I mean best. You'll do great!" Phoenix slightly grinned, nodded her head and walked off.

I sigh and internally scream, as the bell rung for class. Still hung up on the word fluke from earlier.. I managed to avoid Phoenix all day ; so as I walked to my car I saw Nix standing by her car with Keisha.

SIDENOTE: Keisha is your typical insecure female who's only satiated by making others feel small and inferior, all while fucking every Tom, Dick and Harriet! Simply put she's a jump-off, who somehow managed to finesse a "situation-ship" out of Nix.

As I walk to my car, Keisha yells "Winters, you short cunt - come over here". As I debate on whether or not to go over there - I overhear Nix tell her chill out and mind her words. I blushed as I proceeded to my car. Once I got in my car, I received a text from Nix saying: "sorry bout that.. but you know I got you - always 💯." I chuckled and drove off.

***THE NEXT DAY***

"Ashlyn, wake up! You got company!" My mom yelled as the morning sun broke through my curtains and beamed on my face. "Give me a second , I'll be down in a minute", I shout as I head to my bathroom to freshen up and get dressed.

As I trot down the stairs I assumed its Nix coming over to get a chill session in before she's shackled with Keisha all weekend — but I see Jessica, the girl I met during an overnight college trip at Xavier University.

You see college offers the perfect opportunity for me to finally be myself. I'm unsure of how my moms will take me being gay - so to play it safe, I'm choosing to let her know when I'm out the house. Jessica, is the only person who knows I'm gay. I guess its true when they say: it's easier to talk to strangers than it is people you know. But little did I know our encounter at Xavier would blossom into a budding friendship.

"Hey, Jessica. What's up?" I asked. "Hey, I'm sorry for dropping by unexpectedly but I was in the area getting stuff for a party me and a few friends are throwing and wanted to invite you." Unsure if Phoenix would be dropping by, I started to say "I don't know —" but got cut off by Jessica, who said "This maybe forward, but I'd really like for you to be there," as she walks closer to me. "Okay, fine". I reply. Jessica then whispers "great, its a date. I will pick you up at 8" and walks out the door closing it on her way out.

I walked to the kitchen replaying what just happened as I began to eat the breakfast moms cooked for me.

***LATER THAT NIGHT***

The party was live; however, after 2AM everyone either started leaving or ducking off into the spare bedrooms in Jessica's house. I found myself alone with Jessica upstairs in the loft, right next to her bedroom. We were halfway through our second bottle of Hennessy Black and the attraction between the two of us was high. With the help of liquor courage, I motioned for her to sit next to me; however, she had other plans -- grabbing my hand pulling me off the couch and leading me to her bedroom.

..to be continued