Chapter 8

The days passed, as the real summer began. The sunlight grew stronger, and so did the color of the blue sky, like you kept on adding another layer. Each time a breeze blew, I could hear the wind chimes of my neighbor, the Shinomiya Household, ringing. This entire time, Ayaka continued to try and push me and Yumiko together. It was almost like she was panicking—Like something was rushing her.

"Aki...!"

A regular Monday, but we didn't have any school day. Since I didn't have anything to do, I helped at my parents' restaurant to earn some more cash. The restaurant was located at a different place than our home, and although it wasn't a stylish sight for sore eyes, it possessed a welcoming atmosphere, keeping its doors open. Thanks to that, we had a lot of regulars.

And once summer break would roll around, it was time to think about my promised summer festival with Ayaka. I wasn't trying to act cool or anything, but I wanted to at least treat her to some stuff. Like a candied apple, or a chocolate banana. Anything sweet, really. Imagining her stuffing her cheeks while saying 'It's so delicious! But I'm gonna get fat! But it's delicious!' really helped motivate me.

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"Aki. Hey, Aki!"

"Hm? Ah, yeah?"

I was busy washing dishes in the kitchen when Mom called out to me.

"I got this from a customer right now. They said they'd share some with us because they got them from relatives."

"Oh, peaches. And so many."

"Yeah. And since we don't have that many customers today, you can head out early. Could you just bring some of these to our neighbors?"

"To Ayaka's family?"

"Yeah. We've got so many, and Ayaka-chan loves peaches, right? I'm sure she'd be happy."

Well, she loves all fruits in general. More specifically, anything that is delicious. I could already see her stuff her cheeks like a hamster while saying 'It's so delicious! But I'm gonna get fat! But it's so delicious!' All she does is eat, after all. Anyway, I agreed to Mom's request and made my way over to Ayaka's place. Then again, there wasn't much walking involved, because her house was right next to mine. I was used to walking this path since I was young, and I knew her parents as well as her, so I wasn't nervous in any way.

"Oh my, Aki-kun."

When I arrived, I was greeted by Ayaka's mother. Each time I look at her, I'm baffled at how she could look so young and beautiful despite having a child in high school. Will Ayaka look like this when she becomes an adult, I wonder.

"Hello. Are you heading out somewhere?"

"Yes. I'm going to a friend's house. Do you need something from Ayaka?"

"Not really. I just brought these. Mom got them from a customer," I said and showed her the plastic bag filled with peaches, to which her face lit up.

"Oh my! Thank you so much. Ah, I know! Why don't you eat some with Ayaka?"

"With Ayaka…?"

"Yes. I can't really explain it, but something's been off about her lately. I figure she'd cheer up if you're with her."

"Ah, right. Well, we're always together at school, anyway."

"My, that is also true. But, you're here already, so I'd like you to go see her. It's a shame, but I have to go now." She checked her wristwatch and shook my hand with a smile, quickly walking away while saying. "Ayaka's in her room right now. See you later."

Since I received permission to enter, I swiftly went inside. Despite it being a holiday, Ayaka's father seemed out, too, leaving only herself present. We're also used to being in each other's rooms, but knocking once is at least proper etiquette. After a brief silence, I entered. Immediately, I looked around Ayaka's clean room. The room was decorated with pleasant furniture to create a welcoming feeling, filled with teddy bears. Yet again, I was baffled at how contradictorily cute her room was.

"…Mm."

The window was wide open, probably to keep the air fresh inside. Same with the door, too. Because of a breeze, the laced curtains swayed left and right, with Ayaka sleeping below them on the bed. She had pushed away her blanket completely, probably because of the heat, allowing me to see her room wear. Her white stomach came into sight, which made my heart skip a beat, but I quickly relaxed because "It's Ayaka, after all." No, that's not it. We slept a lot together when we were younger. Even if I see her now, there's…nothing, yeah. Nothing at all. I'm just feeling hot because of the heat outside. That's the only reason.

"…Mmm….mm…"

After looking at her sleeping face for a while, Ayaka's back twitched and she stretched.

"…Aki-Kun…"

"Yo, Ayaka. Finally awake? I brought some peaches, so let's eat them."

"…"

"Ayaka?"

"I'm sorry…Aki-Kun…"

She kept her eyes closed, only mumbling to herself. Ah, she's talking in her sleep.

"What are you apologizing for? And what dream are you having? You didn't do anything you'd have to apologize for!"

I knew she was asleep, but I still spoke to her. Did she eat my snacks in her dream?

"More importantly, I have beaches, so wake up alr—" I wanted to poke her cheek to wake her up, but with the sight unfolding in front of me, I was silenced quickly.

From Ayaka's closed eye, I could see something rolling down. I often see it when it's raining—It's Ayaka's tear.

"I don't…have much time anymore…"

Don't have time? What does that mean?

"That's why…you have to be happy…with someone else…"

…I was feeling hot a moment ago, and yet a cold shiver ran down my spine. And at the same time, a conversation popped up in the back of my head. I thought it was just a hypothetical story, but…

—If you were in their position, what would you do? Your girlfriend only has a few months to live or something like that.

She said that she liked movies that made her think about this stuff, and yet…

—Huh? Uh…Well, I don't…really like them so much, no.

In such a short time, she's completely changed her view. It's weird, right? You wouldn't change this drastically this abruptly. And yet, something was off. What made her change her opinion this much? That day…when she looked close to breaking out in tears. That morning…I asked her what was wrong. And if we should go to the hospital. What did she say then?

—It's already too…

…What if? What if it was too late to go to the hospital…and what if she doesn't have much more time left?

"Ayaka."

I didn't even mean to call her name. It just happened naturally.

"Ayaka."

Before I realized it, I couldn't stop. My heart was utterly shaken by seeing her cry in her sleep.

"Ayaka…!"

"…Mmm…"

Ayaka blinked once, as she looked at me, unsure if it was a dream or reality.

"Ayaka…"

"Aki…chan…?"

"Are you going to die?"

"..." Ayaka's eyes shot wide open.

However, she quickly shook her head.

"…No, I won't die."

"Then why were you crying?"

"I…I was? What are you talking about? I don't remember crying…"

"Then what's this?" I ran my finger along her cheek, showing her the liquid that I scooped up.

"Oh…Huh…? Weird. Was it raining?"

"…No, it wasn't. It's been clear all day."

The window was wide open, and it was a bright sight outside. It's so beautiful outside, and yet…it feels like a large cloud was slowly moving to cover up the sun. What's this uncertainty and impatience…?

"Ehehe…Yeah. I'm weird, right?" Ayaka tried to calm my worries as she showed a smile without strength.

I don't like this. Don't smile like that. You try to laugh even though you aren't…I don't want you to make that kind of face.

"W-Well, I just…had another scary dream."

I don't get it. Why is she hiding this from me? I want her to tell me everything that's going on. I want to help her. But if I don't know, then I can't…

"I've been having nightmares lately."

"Oh?"

"I…I'm not lying, okay? It's just…I've been a bit scared of sleeping lately. I feel so restless closing my eyes when it's dark around me…Well, it's weird that I would be taking a nap despite not sleeping at night, right?"

"Sure is."

"Ugh…I'm not lying, I swear…"

Even if she isn't lying, I can tell she's hiding something. She's keeping a secret from me. And I'm not angry. It just…annoyed me. I don't want to brag or anything, but I felt sad when she didn't rely on me. It makes me worried that I have nothing to give her. Even though she's always been with me. So close, yet so far…

"You're scared of sleeping, right?"

"Y-Yeah…"

"Then should we sleep together?"

"Yeah…" Ayaka nodded, only to quickly grasp the meaning behind my words, her eyes shooting open. "…What?"

"I'll stay with you so you don't have to worry about some nightmare."

It was just me being stubborn. I wanted to help. I felt frustrated that my childhood friend didn't rely on me. And I hate myself for being this childish. I don't want to push her into a corner, either.

"Huh…Huh?! Wh-What are you talking about, Aki-Kun?"

"What's the big deal? We'd often sleep together when we were children, right?"

"M-Maybe, but…That's not what I mean!"

"Don't worry about it. I'll even hold your hand so you won't have a nightmare. I could even sing you a lullaby."

"Ugh…"

"Or, what? You'd rather not? You can tell me."

Tell me what's on your mind. Tell me just what is making you suffer like this. And yet, Ayaka remained quiet for a moment, tightly gripping her bed sheet. And after looking away from me, she raised her head.

"I don't…hate it."

Even though she had just shed a tear, I could see her eyes already becoming damp again.

"It's true that I'm scared of sleeping. That I won't open my eyes again once I close them. I'm scared of closing my eyes inside the darkness of night. I'm sleepy, but I can't sleep. And even if I finally drift away, it remains a shallow sleep with a nightmare. I don't…want to be alone…"

I could see myself reflected in her eyes. Almost like I was being tested.

"That's why…will you sleep next to me, Aki-Kun?"

How did things end up like this? We were both lying on the same bed, which honestly didn't offer much space. We may be childhood friends, and yet we're still two adolescent teenagers, so this definitely was off-limits…Then again, I was the one who brought it up. I offered it under the assumption she disagreed. And yet, she did a complete turn-around and asked me for it. Sure, I could have said no, but how could I? I'm such an idiot, really.

"…Aki-Kun."

I couldn't bear sleeping face-to-face, so I had my back turned toward Ayaka. When she called my name, I rolled over to face her.

"…What? Just go to sleep already."

"Sorry. But…Looking at your face just relaxes me."

"…Yeah, sure…"

She probably wasn't trying to praise me, but I could feel my chest flutter. I'm the one who can't relax. My heart is racing like crazy. My whole body felt like it was itching, and my heart was in disarray. Am I the only one who feels this way? Why…am I feeling this way because of Ayaka? She's my childhood friend. She's my little sister. There's no need to be conscious of her. We slept a lot together when we were younger, right? Remember it. Remember all those summer days. At home…lying next to each other on the tatami mat…together.

The sky outside was clear, as the wind chimes jingled. I had Ayaka's sleeping face right next to me, faintly breathing as she had finally fallen asleep. I woke up before her, but I couldn't rob her of her precious sleep…But I also couldn't take a second nap, either. I was simply looking at her sleeping face. Seeing her relaxed and softened-up cheeks, I couldn't help but wonder what dream she had.

This time felt pointless, as we just kept on wasting away during this summer heat. But looking at Ayaka's face, I felt relaxed, and at peace. And yet, something deep inside me began to change. It wasn't anything painful. Instead, it was like an inviting heartbeat. But…I didn't know what to make of that. Because we—Because I'm a child.

"Aki-Kun…"

"…!"

When she called my name, my heart jumped. Her long eyelashes moved up and down, as she looked at me with barely any distance between us. Ayaka and I aren't kids anymore. We're in high school. Before, when we talked on the phone without windows open, we couldn't reach each other no matter how much we tried. But now, even the slightest movement would allow me to confirm her existence.

"Aki-Kun?"

…Ah, I see. I felt something inside of me piece it together. We are childhood friends. But she's not like my little sister. What I had lying next to me—was just another girl.

"…Wah?! Aki-Kun?"

The moment I realized this, my body jumped up from the bed.

"What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"

"S-Sorry…"

Ayaka stared up at me. And yet, I couldn't look her in the eyes.

"W-Well…This is just weird. Sleeping next to each other…isn't something we should be doing. You're not my Mom or a friend. You're…a girl, after all!"

The reason I emphasized this so adhesively is that I definitely did not want Ayaka to do this with any other man. But then I felt embarrassed, knowing Ayaka would never do that even if she had other male friends. I'm just so…flustered.

"…Yeah. You're right…Yup…"

I thought Ayaka didn't feel anything in particular at us sleeping next to each other, but looking closer at her—I could see she was blushing, too. I think she got embarrassed only now because she hid her body with her blanket. And that gesture alone was enough to make my heart race faster.

"…"

"…"

An eerie silence followed. Neither of us knew what to say.

"…Sorry. I think I should go home for today."

"Y-Yeah. Sorry to…force you through this."

"No need to apologize…Anyway, I'll leave the peaches here, so eat them when you like. You're a fan of peaches, right?"

"Yeah…"

"…Anyway, see you tomorrow."

Usually, I would never say such a thing to Ayaka. I didn't have to, as we would see each other pretty much every single day. And yet…now, I wanted a promise. Because her saying 'I don't have much time left' still stuck with me. I wanted to see her again tomorrow. That's what I packed into my statement.

"Yeah," Ayaka smiled, but as before, it was void of any vigor. "See you tomorrow, Aki-Kun."

*

Another morning arrived. And we were once again greeted by the summer heat.

"Morning, Aki-Kun."

Stepping outside my house, Ayaka was waiting for me, as she always would. Despite what happened yesterday, when we went through that awkward silence and realization that maybe we weren't just regular childhood friends, it felt like everything was back to normal. But…I didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

"You're up early today. I feel like you're actually getting up on time lately."

"Well…It's summer, after all. My desire to just keep snuggling up under my blanket isn't as strong as it is during the cold winter mornings. It's just so hot, right?"

"Hee hee. Works for me, though. Saves us from ending up late."

We walked next to each other as we went on our way to school. Today, the sky was clear yet again.

"…It's almost the end-of-term ceremony, right? And starting next week, we have summer break. It still feels a bit fast."

"And then, the summer festival's right around the corner. You were looking forward to that, right?"

"Mm…Yeah. And Yumiko-san seemed excited about it, too. Hehe…I'll do my best so that your Lovey-Dovey Honey Acquisition Plan works out perfectly…" Ayaka said as she formed two fists in front of her chest.

—But, the one I like isn't Yumiko.

I won't deny that Yumiko's a beauty, is rich, and excels at both her studies and sports, and even her personality is hella fun. You could basically describe her as a living cheat code, and I really enjoy being friends with her. However, the girl I really like is a bit of a glutton, a bit of a dunce at times, but kind and gentle from the bottom of her heart, and absolutely adorable whenever she smiles at me…It's you, who's always been by my side. Surely, I just tried to keep my feelings bottled up under the lid of calling her my childhood friend or like a little sister. It's idiotic, but I finally realized it.

I don't know what's making Ayaka suffer, but I want to help her. I want to be her strength. That's why…I've decided. On the day we promised, the day of the summer festival, I'll tell Ayaka of my feelings. That I treasure her from the bottom of my heart. That she's more important to me than anything else. That I'll be there when she needs my strength. I don't care if she just sees me as a childhood friend. I still want to tell her. To reassure her that I'll be the person who remains her ally no matter what may happen. And that—she's not alone at all.